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for Ben 10 Sword Art Online

7/25 c2 I'mJustSaiyanDude
Came into this thinking about what could go wrong and everything went wrong. First, let's not even act like Ben transforming is even possible let alone his new magic sword, Ben is a perfectly capable fighter in human form so just uses that, otherwise what is stopping Xlr8 from just speedrunning the whole game? Just make Ben someone who bought the game and is now trapped in it like everyone else. You can still have him be a world-famous superhero, but his experiences will be his only advantage, secondly is more world-building, people will recognize Ben and the word will spread so that should have some effect even if it's just people just talking about him, third, figure out who your main character is as he will not only be the main focus of the story but the story itself will revolve around him, fourth, don't be afraid to make chapters without the main character in it to flesh out the story more by using side characters, as long as they move the story along then you can get by with them just mention the main character.
4/2 c1 5RT89
Grammers a bit rough, but not a bad first chapter. I hope to see more of this story.
2/26 c1 kashriramji
I really love this episode!

The big decision Gwen has to make, the way Verdona gently holds her, but doesn't actually do anything.

(It DOES however give me snake vibes, and I'm not a fan of snakes, especially how they kill and eat prey...It just goes to show how powerful Verdona is, but also that Gwen is powerful in her own right, and that she gains Verdona's respect.)

I loved the window scene, Ben's still young and him messing with Kevin is showing his goofy side.

Usually he's trying to act more mature as a hero.

The "pound your grandma" thing, I see pound more as beat up, "I'm not gonna hit your grandma", along the lines of "she's a girl, I'm not going to hit her because she's a girl."

I saw your Ace flag in previous videos, I'm also Ace, I don't think it's funny because pound has multiple meanings, so I never saw it as sexual.

It gets a chuckle though.

Kevin can take on multiple, apocalyptic entities, but he's reluctant to hit Verdona.

I dunno, it's amusing. ️

It was him respecting, or at least trying to respect a woman, something that presented as female, and a future family member if they ever decided to tie the knot.

Also the brightness.

I thought it was my computer or the site I was watching the series on.

(Not done yet, got sidetracked by Generator Rex!

The site I was watching had the crossover, I watched that, jumped over to Rex, and haven't gone back to Ben yet.

Is there going to be anything with him?

Could he appear in 5yl?)

I had to turn my brightness up as high as it could go, and angle the top of my laptop to see stuff.

I never realized when I was watching this live how dark stuff was, I knew it was darker than most, but yeah, the series can get really hard to see at times...

But then it hurts my eyes after awhile, all the bright flashing colors...

Prolly wasn't meant to be watched on the laptop on your lap during the night in a dark room!

Was prolly meant to be watched on a tv during the day, afternoon, or early evening.

I didn't notice "bad footage", your footage looks fine to me!

Heh heh, oh kitties, they're so silly!

I usually have my volume down, so I could hear Bruce playing with the bag, but it didn't deter from the video that much, but thanks for the CATions!

Eh, I've had cats most of my life, my last cat passing in 2021, so maybe I don't notice stuff as much as someone who doesn't/has never had a kitty or a pet!

At least Edit: she was having fun with the bag!

(My bad!

I heard in a later video you calling Bruce by feminine pronouns!)

You seem happier this video, I hope things are alright.

Take a break when you need to, Ben 10 can wait another day!

Just chill out with your kitties (?)

At first l liked the idea of gwen being an anodite but hated the idea later on. I preferred that they kept gwen as humans.
In my headcanon l like to imagine that :
-humans are among the few species who can use magic
-gwen got her powers from her mother side of the family since she has wizards in her ancestry
-verdona & anodites are native and dominant species in ledger domain (which is a combo between uaf&ov design wise)
2/20 c1 Creativemind24
Interesting story, but you have a few grammar errors and dialogue mistakes. However aside from those you're off to a good start. Keep up the good work.
2/16 c1 1Mr. Illegal
You need to fix some of your dialogue and there are grammar errors. You need a beta reader to make sure that the dialogue of the characters aren't awkward to read.

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