for Danganronpa: Sanctuary Of Talent (CLOSED SYOC)2/1/2024 c12 
25Spyrorocks389
Kyahahaha! Finally, I can reveal myself, the creator of Jiyuu Mochizuki! After a prologue’s worth of chapters, I make my debut! I apologize for my absence in the reviews, but I just couldn’t risk spoiling the surprise! Now, onto my thoughts for the prologue!
You did a great job with all of the characters; I got a good grasp of all their personalities. My favorites are probably Midas for her great dialogue, Miho for her craziness, Freyja for her kookiness and surprisingly accurate theories, Yumi for her temper and potential villainy, and Trace and Akinari for their geekiness and camaraderie. That said, I do enjoy all the characters to an extent. I do have a feeling Kokoro will at least attempt a murder, though…
You did a good job with both the investigation and the trial! While it isn’t obvious who the culprit is, there are still some clues that lead to the answer. There are even a few red herrings thrown in as a bonus! The investigation feels natural and runs smoothly. And as for the trial, I love all the fun little mini games that take place during the debates/evidence presentations; it made the chapter feel more immersive/like the games. The character interactions were golden, and I can’t wait to see more of that in the Daily Life chapters. I especially love the various breakdowns featured in the chapter as the trial went on. All in all, a solid trial that was followable even with all the twists and turns.
Now, for the main event…my girl, Jiyuu Mochizuki. To answer Prince Pokesona’s question, while I came up with Jiyuu’s backstory, the idea to incorporate it into a practice trial was all Candle’s idea! Speaking of the backstory, I loved the flashbacks to the original killing game and trial that changed Jiyuu’s life; it gave off a trace of mystery at first before putting everything into full context. Also I now kind of ship Jiyuu and Maimi: a tragic romance ending in such a brutal manner…ahh I love it! And Jiyuu’s breakdown when everyone figured out she was guilty…(chef’s kiss) magnifique. You did great. Her survivor’s guilt and PTSD was written so well, and you perfectly portrayed her as a tragic figure; I hope to see more of that later. And the piece de resistance, the “execution.” It was so twisted and dark, and it was way better than anything that I could have come up with. Kudos for having Maimi, probably the death Jiyuu is haunted by the most, be the metaphorical “killing blow” so to speak. And thank goodness Jiyuu survived; I may be biased, but I feel like she has a lot of potential for character development. Though I do wonder if those burns caused any sort of permanent damage to her vocal cords…they did look pretty nasty.
Also Monokuma cameo in the beginning yay! I love the murder bear!
As for the disadvantage…it feels too easy to have a Reserve Course death be the crux of a chapter, especially since there would be essentially no consequences involved. That said, I feel like the disadvantage is going to come up in the third/double murder case. That way the disadvantage could be used without skipping a trial.
Anywho, that’s all I’ve got to say for now. Keep up the good work, though don’t feel like you need to rush yourself; take all the time you need to make the next chapter/the first Daily Life the best it can be.
Ta-ta for now!
25Spyrorocks389Kyahahaha! Finally, I can reveal myself, the creator of Jiyuu Mochizuki! After a prologue’s worth of chapters, I make my debut! I apologize for my absence in the reviews, but I just couldn’t risk spoiling the surprise! Now, onto my thoughts for the prologue!
You did a great job with all of the characters; I got a good grasp of all their personalities. My favorites are probably Midas for her great dialogue, Miho for her craziness, Freyja for her kookiness and surprisingly accurate theories, Yumi for her temper and potential villainy, and Trace and Akinari for their geekiness and camaraderie. That said, I do enjoy all the characters to an extent. I do have a feeling Kokoro will at least attempt a murder, though…
You did a good job with both the investigation and the trial! While it isn’t obvious who the culprit is, there are still some clues that lead to the answer. There are even a few red herrings thrown in as a bonus! The investigation feels natural and runs smoothly. And as for the trial, I love all the fun little mini games that take place during the debates/evidence presentations; it made the chapter feel more immersive/like the games. The character interactions were golden, and I can’t wait to see more of that in the Daily Life chapters. I especially love the various breakdowns featured in the chapter as the trial went on. All in all, a solid trial that was followable even with all the twists and turns.
Now, for the main event…my girl, Jiyuu Mochizuki. To answer Prince Pokesona’s question, while I came up with Jiyuu’s backstory, the idea to incorporate it into a practice trial was all Candle’s idea! Speaking of the backstory, I loved the flashbacks to the original killing game and trial that changed Jiyuu’s life; it gave off a trace of mystery at first before putting everything into full context. Also I now kind of ship Jiyuu and Maimi: a tragic romance ending in such a brutal manner…ahh I love it! And Jiyuu’s breakdown when everyone figured out she was guilty…(chef’s kiss) magnifique. You did great. Her survivor’s guilt and PTSD was written so well, and you perfectly portrayed her as a tragic figure; I hope to see more of that later. And the piece de resistance, the “execution.” It was so twisted and dark, and it was way better than anything that I could have come up with. Kudos for having Maimi, probably the death Jiyuu is haunted by the most, be the metaphorical “killing blow” so to speak. And thank goodness Jiyuu survived; I may be biased, but I feel like she has a lot of potential for character development. Though I do wonder if those burns caused any sort of permanent damage to her vocal cords…they did look pretty nasty.
Also Monokuma cameo in the beginning yay! I love the murder bear!
As for the disadvantage…it feels too easy to have a Reserve Course death be the crux of a chapter, especially since there would be essentially no consequences involved. That said, I feel like the disadvantage is going to come up in the third/double murder case. That way the disadvantage could be used without skipping a trial.
Anywho, that’s all I’ve got to say for now. Keep up the good work, though don’t feel like you need to rush yourself; take all the time you need to make the next chapter/the first Daily Life the best it can be.
Ta-ta for now!
1/31/2024 c12 6Prince PokePersona
Candle...You have outdone yourselves and created probably the best trial I've ever seen!
Though this one was a practice trial, the emotional rollercoaster it put me through as I dropped everything to read it, it was a thrill ride! I may be a bit hyperbolic, but if this is what's in store for us, then I am very excited for the future cases to come. The highlight of this chapter is of course the second reserve course, who I will admit did stick out like a sore thumb, but to see all of them defend each other from guilt and still somehow manage to fail in the end, it was just so intriguing, I couldn't look away.
Despite all that's going on, I really find this cast to be super interesting, and I think both Tiago and Jiyuu prove that the Supremes are going to be the main show stealers of this story, if this is how they reacted to a simple practice case. Seeing Naohito, Miho and Tiago throw themselves into the fire to defend Jiyuu knowing what was at risk for them was absolutely glorious and the Ace Attorney style breakdowns were the best part of it for me, it felt like I could actually envision that in my head, and it was so visceral and heated. You pulled the rug from underneath all of us, got us thinking that it was one pairing and then surprised us with these revelations and plot twists and I have to say, the level of writing you displayed here, it was fantastic, I'm officially jealous, lol.
I will say that despite the implications, I do have to applaud Tiago as he did live up to his role of defending the people he viewed as truly innocent despite the mask he had to don. He tried to be the politician who tried to lead others to the truth, but like most, he behaved like the corrupt politicians who sadly make up the majority and used underhanded tactics to make sure his team didn't lose and seeing the stress ball pop was probably one of the best parts about this. Kokoro views him as a failed disgrace, but in my eyes, I think what he tried to do was admirable in defending someone who was put into a terrible dilemma and forced to be in a deadly game. It shows his courage and earnestness to see the good in people and him willing to take the fall shows as much.
Jiyuu is the main star of this chapter, which is ironic since she's been very quiet this entire practice run. I'd like to believe that you and her creator worked out something behind the scenes to facilitate this case, but if this is her creator's own idea, then they are a Supreme mad lad and I mean that in good taste, because this entire case was just astounding, and it only helps that you made it so much fun to follow. I see that she was put into a classic Makoto/Sayaka spot except Ayano went straight to murdering her instead of killing someone else and pinning the blame on someone else. I assumed Maimi was the Makoto in this instance, defending someone she truly cared for till the very end as friend and potentially a lover. Though she did not speak up in her original trial she "won" I can't really be mad or upset with her because she was put in an unwinnable situation where even if she lived, she was plagued with survivor's guilt, pun intended. Her two friends are dead, one of them sacrificed the entire class to absolve her friend of the guilt, but in the end, the pain still lingers. I also glance back to the intro of Jiyuu in the very beginning of her approaching a gravestone and I wonder if that was Maimi's grave. It was something to point out. Watching her breakdown bit by bit, her quivering, sobbing and tears, I felt that and seeing her go through a near death execution style punishment, it was brutal.
Before I get into my theories, I have to say that the disadvantage perk is probably going to not be used as we wouldn't have a story without a trial etcetera. I believe that someone would kill one of the reserve groups to take advantage of the no trial perk, but if I suspect what it is, someone intervenes and stops the killer, but ends up dying themselves and creating a trial. That also potentially opens up the idea that one of the reserves would kill as well, but I don't believe they would especially with this target on their back, so I think Miho, Naohito, Tiago and Jiyuu would be exempted from the suspect list prematurely as it were.
Laurel is truly terrifying as an overseer. This doll is twisted in her glee and wants to experience what everyone's individual hopes are while also crushing the very concept of it into the dirt to spite GHA. I wonder who in Jiyuu's killing game was the original mastermind if there was anyone who fit that bill? And who is the mastermind of this game if there is one at all? There are so many burning questions that need to be answered and I will say to see Freyja's crackpot theories being proven right, could potentially paint a target on her back, the same with Yoshinobu who has proven that he is not afraid to call out others on their bluffs and get the job done. I would Kokoro and Eddie also fit this bill too, but I doubt they would kick the bucket so soon unless you pull a sneaky one on us which I am all for seeing.
I don't have much else to say because where to even begin? It was all amazing, fabulously written, clearly guttural visuals, expressive emotions conveyed well on the page, aggressive reactions, you gave us all of it. I daresay you may have even reached peak Danganronpa levels of writing that make the canon games look like middle school fanfiction, okay I'm done with the exaggerative language lol.
You deserve a good break after this dude, great work!
6Prince PokePersonaCandle...You have outdone yourselves and created probably the best trial I've ever seen!
Though this one was a practice trial, the emotional rollercoaster it put me through as I dropped everything to read it, it was a thrill ride! I may be a bit hyperbolic, but if this is what's in store for us, then I am very excited for the future cases to come. The highlight of this chapter is of course the second reserve course, who I will admit did stick out like a sore thumb, but to see all of them defend each other from guilt and still somehow manage to fail in the end, it was just so intriguing, I couldn't look away.
Despite all that's going on, I really find this cast to be super interesting, and I think both Tiago and Jiyuu prove that the Supremes are going to be the main show stealers of this story, if this is how they reacted to a simple practice case. Seeing Naohito, Miho and Tiago throw themselves into the fire to defend Jiyuu knowing what was at risk for them was absolutely glorious and the Ace Attorney style breakdowns were the best part of it for me, it felt like I could actually envision that in my head, and it was so visceral and heated. You pulled the rug from underneath all of us, got us thinking that it was one pairing and then surprised us with these revelations and plot twists and I have to say, the level of writing you displayed here, it was fantastic, I'm officially jealous, lol.
I will say that despite the implications, I do have to applaud Tiago as he did live up to his role of defending the people he viewed as truly innocent despite the mask he had to don. He tried to be the politician who tried to lead others to the truth, but like most, he behaved like the corrupt politicians who sadly make up the majority and used underhanded tactics to make sure his team didn't lose and seeing the stress ball pop was probably one of the best parts about this. Kokoro views him as a failed disgrace, but in my eyes, I think what he tried to do was admirable in defending someone who was put into a terrible dilemma and forced to be in a deadly game. It shows his courage and earnestness to see the good in people and him willing to take the fall shows as much.
Jiyuu is the main star of this chapter, which is ironic since she's been very quiet this entire practice run. I'd like to believe that you and her creator worked out something behind the scenes to facilitate this case, but if this is her creator's own idea, then they are a Supreme mad lad and I mean that in good taste, because this entire case was just astounding, and it only helps that you made it so much fun to follow. I see that she was put into a classic Makoto/Sayaka spot except Ayano went straight to murdering her instead of killing someone else and pinning the blame on someone else. I assumed Maimi was the Makoto in this instance, defending someone she truly cared for till the very end as friend and potentially a lover. Though she did not speak up in her original trial she "won" I can't really be mad or upset with her because she was put in an unwinnable situation where even if she lived, she was plagued with survivor's guilt, pun intended. Her two friends are dead, one of them sacrificed the entire class to absolve her friend of the guilt, but in the end, the pain still lingers. I also glance back to the intro of Jiyuu in the very beginning of her approaching a gravestone and I wonder if that was Maimi's grave. It was something to point out. Watching her breakdown bit by bit, her quivering, sobbing and tears, I felt that and seeing her go through a near death execution style punishment, it was brutal.
Before I get into my theories, I have to say that the disadvantage perk is probably going to not be used as we wouldn't have a story without a trial etcetera. I believe that someone would kill one of the reserve groups to take advantage of the no trial perk, but if I suspect what it is, someone intervenes and stops the killer, but ends up dying themselves and creating a trial. That also potentially opens up the idea that one of the reserves would kill as well, but I don't believe they would especially with this target on their back, so I think Miho, Naohito, Tiago and Jiyuu would be exempted from the suspect list prematurely as it were.
Laurel is truly terrifying as an overseer. This doll is twisted in her glee and wants to experience what everyone's individual hopes are while also crushing the very concept of it into the dirt to spite GHA. I wonder who in Jiyuu's killing game was the original mastermind if there was anyone who fit that bill? And who is the mastermind of this game if there is one at all? There are so many burning questions that need to be answered and I will say to see Freyja's crackpot theories being proven right, could potentially paint a target on her back, the same with Yoshinobu who has proven that he is not afraid to call out others on their bluffs and get the job done. I would Kokoro and Eddie also fit this bill too, but I doubt they would kick the bucket so soon unless you pull a sneaky one on us which I am all for seeing.
I don't have much else to say because where to even begin? It was all amazing, fabulously written, clearly guttural visuals, expressive emotions conveyed well on the page, aggressive reactions, you gave us all of it. I daresay you may have even reached peak Danganronpa levels of writing that make the canon games look like middle school fanfiction, okay I'm done with the exaggerative language lol.
You deserve a good break after this dude, great work!
1/30/2024 c11 Prince PokePersona
I just finished reading the chapter and I am still in shock at how well planned and well-crafted this entire trial is, and I have the feeling that the ending of it is going to be glorious. I can't really pinpoint a moment or two because this entire chapter kept putting me through the mental wringer of trying to figure out how it all fit into place and the mailboxes being relevant just reminded me of that fact.
Trace and Akinari were literally fighting for their lives this entire chapter and I don't blame them for being frazzled.
I have to say that Yumi basically pulling a Nagito just to spite the others, or in this case, leading her mentor to believe she was the guilty party and then acting so casual and aggressive about it, this girl is definitely going to end up a target in this game. Her breakdown alone proves that she's smarter than she looks and her brash and vulgar attitude proves she's not afraid to go toe to toe with others, making her a powerhouse of a threat and I feel someone will want her gone ASAP. RIP to Valerie for trying to keep her student innocent, this poor woman did not deserve the suspicion.
So, I see Yoshinobu decided to school everyone, and he completely took complete control over this trial and proved them all wrong with their assumptions and then pointing to Naohito as the most likely prime suspect now. I just know that he's not going to survive long in this game, if the people in it are smart enough to get rid of him first and foremost. I think this game has that potential and it was one of my gripes with V3, aside from gameplay purposes, why is everyone letting the detective live when they are the most competent at solving murder cases, but that's just a pet peeve of mine. I have to say his line telling everyone to shut up almost made me snort out laughing.
I also have to state this again, I really love how individualized everyone's personal mini game is and the argument showdowns between are so fitting and reactive. I love how you managed to incorporate their own personal thoughts into each sentence without giving much away and really pushing them to solve this case instead of relying on a select few to do the entire case themselves.
I can't wait to see how this prologue trial ends and see what Naohito has been hiding this entire time. I know you've been on a roll with writing this story so far and I'm very happy that you're keeping at this, good work Candle.
I just finished reading the chapter and I am still in shock at how well planned and well-crafted this entire trial is, and I have the feeling that the ending of it is going to be glorious. I can't really pinpoint a moment or two because this entire chapter kept putting me through the mental wringer of trying to figure out how it all fit into place and the mailboxes being relevant just reminded me of that fact.
Trace and Akinari were literally fighting for their lives this entire chapter and I don't blame them for being frazzled.
I have to say that Yumi basically pulling a Nagito just to spite the others, or in this case, leading her mentor to believe she was the guilty party and then acting so casual and aggressive about it, this girl is definitely going to end up a target in this game. Her breakdown alone proves that she's smarter than she looks and her brash and vulgar attitude proves she's not afraid to go toe to toe with others, making her a powerhouse of a threat and I feel someone will want her gone ASAP. RIP to Valerie for trying to keep her student innocent, this poor woman did not deserve the suspicion.
So, I see Yoshinobu decided to school everyone, and he completely took complete control over this trial and proved them all wrong with their assumptions and then pointing to Naohito as the most likely prime suspect now. I just know that he's not going to survive long in this game, if the people in it are smart enough to get rid of him first and foremost. I think this game has that potential and it was one of my gripes with V3, aside from gameplay purposes, why is everyone letting the detective live when they are the most competent at solving murder cases, but that's just a pet peeve of mine. I have to say his line telling everyone to shut up almost made me snort out laughing.
I also have to state this again, I really love how individualized everyone's personal mini game is and the argument showdowns between are so fitting and reactive. I love how you managed to incorporate their own personal thoughts into each sentence without giving much away and really pushing them to solve this case instead of relying on a select few to do the entire case themselves.
I can't wait to see how this prologue trial ends and see what Naohito has been hiding this entire time. I know you've been on a roll with writing this story so far and I'm very happy that you're keeping at this, good work Candle.
1/27/2024 c10 SqualinaTralala
Whenever I’m reading a trial chapter in a Danganronpa fic, I like to put on a playlist of the official game’s soundtrack, it helps me imagine our colorful cast bickering with each other, aha! I adore the way you wrote this trial chapter, from the minigames to all the interactions! It’s great to see that every character has a chance to shine here and that it’s not only the protagonists who have to find all the answers! The minigame scenes were super fun and I loved how they are tailored to each character’s talent! But what’s even more impressive is that despite being like 14k words long (and only being the first part of the trial, it flowed super well, not once did I get bored reading this, from the chaotic characters’ antics to the more serious reveals, it was super entertaining!
Tee hee hee! I just freaking loved seeing Freyja lead the discussion with her theory at the beginning, she’s so damn bold and dramatic, shutting off the people who are dismissing her and going on her random conspiracy rambles! When she screamed “NOOOOOOOOOOO”, I just imagined her having a breakdown animation à la Ace Attorney getting blown with her umbrella being reversed while the paper files are flying all around her lmao. Fortunately, my girl got some unexpected support from Yumi, and oh my-oh my, with the mascots’ confirmation, turns out she *was* right after all! Ayano’s murder was real and it would seem that another killing game happened five years ago! I wonder if we’ll get to see more details on how their death game… Unfortunately, this discovery doesn’t help to find the ‘culprit’ of the current case at all…And we’re back to square one!
I don’t know why, but I cackled when I arrived at the scene where poor Bohai revealed he was distracted and Mateo went “Bruh”, it’s just the pause before that and the deadpan delivery, pffft! Gosh, there are so many hilarious scenes in this chapter, I LOL’d many times while reading it! And then the scene when Yumi got shocked by her collar and immediately regained consciousness the moment she heard someone suspecting her, that was freaking hysterical! Sheesh, this girl is a superhuman or something… Seriously, I wonder how she managed her ordinary day-to-day life with those anger issues of hers, like, say someone gave her the wrong amount of change at the grocery store, would she be ready to tear off their head? Or if her internet lags a little would she literally punch a hole through the computer screen? Meanwhile, Miho’s like “Yaaaaay fire sparks!” lmao, girl’s always in a good mood! Tbh, I’m more scared of her than Yumi, her cheery behavior is dang uncanny, the only moment when she seemed to have a slightly different emotion was when Kokoro told her to be careful with her fire tools. Like, from all the chaotic characters, I feel like Miho is probably the one we should worry the most about, Yumi, although violent, is somewhat predictable in her reactions; Freyja, despite her oddities reacts in a normal way when accused while Lady Midas seems to purposefully play the role of the villain imo. As for Miho, she seems genuinely in her own world, I’m not even sure if she’d be stressed if people start accusing her, but we’ll see I guess!
Now, the moment when Valerie yelled at everyone to shut up was super badass, though I feel like I’d probably react the same way as Adam if I were there, aha. She and Tiago are like the done-with-everything parents, trying to discipline those unruly children, lol. Oh, and Lady Midas too, I guess, lol. Technically, Midas is young enough to be a child of theirs? This woman truly proved she is the Queen of Chaos, as expected of the Supreme Villain! Haha, I just can’t get over the fact that even Freyja is freaking annoyed with her mentor, from her “ew… you’re still here” to her doing the cuckoo bird motion when Midas suddenly starts acting like the culprit! Let’s say I wasn’t surprised when half of the cast was ready to vote for them because they were so disruptive, lmao. I really enjoyed the Scrum Debate, it was interesting to see how some duos were divided while others seemed to be in harmony over the matter. I like how chill Yoshinobu is, his experience and confidence truly show here, he doesn’t only think, he knows. Also, I find it intriguing how both Akinari and Trace were on the ‘continue discussion’ side, a lot of people are suspecting them right now, including Yumi. You’d think the culprit pair would want to vote immediately and have a good chance at winning the advantage and yet they didn’t do it? Unless it is reverse psychology or something and they’re trying to use that to defend themselves later, but still, it is quite weird… Ya know, there’s something random I’ve been wondering, if someone from the second reserve is the culprit, that means that they have three accomplices working with them, right? Wouldn’t they kinda have an advantage with the vote? Not that I’m suspecting them at the moment but it’s something interesting I thought about.
Anyway, that was an amazing way to start the trial, Candle! I’m now super looking forward to seeing the conclusion of this case! Good luck and I’ll see you soon! :D
Whenever I’m reading a trial chapter in a Danganronpa fic, I like to put on a playlist of the official game’s soundtrack, it helps me imagine our colorful cast bickering with each other, aha! I adore the way you wrote this trial chapter, from the minigames to all the interactions! It’s great to see that every character has a chance to shine here and that it’s not only the protagonists who have to find all the answers! The minigame scenes were super fun and I loved how they are tailored to each character’s talent! But what’s even more impressive is that despite being like 14k words long (and only being the first part of the trial, it flowed super well, not once did I get bored reading this, from the chaotic characters’ antics to the more serious reveals, it was super entertaining!
Tee hee hee! I just freaking loved seeing Freyja lead the discussion with her theory at the beginning, she’s so damn bold and dramatic, shutting off the people who are dismissing her and going on her random conspiracy rambles! When she screamed “NOOOOOOOOOOO”, I just imagined her having a breakdown animation à la Ace Attorney getting blown with her umbrella being reversed while the paper files are flying all around her lmao. Fortunately, my girl got some unexpected support from Yumi, and oh my-oh my, with the mascots’ confirmation, turns out she *was* right after all! Ayano’s murder was real and it would seem that another killing game happened five years ago! I wonder if we’ll get to see more details on how their death game… Unfortunately, this discovery doesn’t help to find the ‘culprit’ of the current case at all…And we’re back to square one!
I don’t know why, but I cackled when I arrived at the scene where poor Bohai revealed he was distracted and Mateo went “Bruh”, it’s just the pause before that and the deadpan delivery, pffft! Gosh, there are so many hilarious scenes in this chapter, I LOL’d many times while reading it! And then the scene when Yumi got shocked by her collar and immediately regained consciousness the moment she heard someone suspecting her, that was freaking hysterical! Sheesh, this girl is a superhuman or something… Seriously, I wonder how she managed her ordinary day-to-day life with those anger issues of hers, like, say someone gave her the wrong amount of change at the grocery store, would she be ready to tear off their head? Or if her internet lags a little would she literally punch a hole through the computer screen? Meanwhile, Miho’s like “Yaaaaay fire sparks!” lmao, girl’s always in a good mood! Tbh, I’m more scared of her than Yumi, her cheery behavior is dang uncanny, the only moment when she seemed to have a slightly different emotion was when Kokoro told her to be careful with her fire tools. Like, from all the chaotic characters, I feel like Miho is probably the one we should worry the most about, Yumi, although violent, is somewhat predictable in her reactions; Freyja, despite her oddities reacts in a normal way when accused while Lady Midas seems to purposefully play the role of the villain imo. As for Miho, she seems genuinely in her own world, I’m not even sure if she’d be stressed if people start accusing her, but we’ll see I guess!
Now, the moment when Valerie yelled at everyone to shut up was super badass, though I feel like I’d probably react the same way as Adam if I were there, aha. She and Tiago are like the done-with-everything parents, trying to discipline those unruly children, lol. Oh, and Lady Midas too, I guess, lol. Technically, Midas is young enough to be a child of theirs? This woman truly proved she is the Queen of Chaos, as expected of the Supreme Villain! Haha, I just can’t get over the fact that even Freyja is freaking annoyed with her mentor, from her “ew… you’re still here” to her doing the cuckoo bird motion when Midas suddenly starts acting like the culprit! Let’s say I wasn’t surprised when half of the cast was ready to vote for them because they were so disruptive, lmao. I really enjoyed the Scrum Debate, it was interesting to see how some duos were divided while others seemed to be in harmony over the matter. I like how chill Yoshinobu is, his experience and confidence truly show here, he doesn’t only think, he knows. Also, I find it intriguing how both Akinari and Trace were on the ‘continue discussion’ side, a lot of people are suspecting them right now, including Yumi. You’d think the culprit pair would want to vote immediately and have a good chance at winning the advantage and yet they didn’t do it? Unless it is reverse psychology or something and they’re trying to use that to defend themselves later, but still, it is quite weird… Ya know, there’s something random I’ve been wondering, if someone from the second reserve is the culprit, that means that they have three accomplices working with them, right? Wouldn’t they kinda have an advantage with the vote? Not that I’m suspecting them at the moment but it’s something interesting I thought about.
Anyway, that was an amazing way to start the trial, Candle! I’m now super looking forward to seeing the conclusion of this case! Good luck and I’ll see you soon! :D
1/23/2024 c10 Prince PokePersona
I really loved this trial chapter, if we get this same level of detail for Gold House, that just makes me even more excited. I will say it's oddly funny that this story gets to its mock trial first, but I trust the process and I still love what you've done here, especially that scrum debate, it was glorious.
So, it looks like Ayano and Maimi were a part of a real case, and honestly that beginning blurb of what I assumed was what happened in the past, sounds really intriguing and I hope we get to see more of it as the story progresses.
I just love how Freyja steers the conversation in the beginning and then Midas just derails it so much that even a hell spawn like Yumi is just fed up with their nonsense, and seeing her tank an electric shock and get up as if it was just a light tickle was the best part. I also like how everyone was really quick to want to vote them out due to them being nuisances and I can't really blame them for it, but it is nice to see Kokoro, our student protagonist be on the wrong side of the debate so to speak, it is very refreshing.
Speaking of, I love how each person in this trial works together and has their own little mini game in this mock trial, and I even like how they matched their talent with a clear visual of what it was. The idea of Ayano's body being carted around the multiple crime scenes and the revelation that the science room was a big part of this crime only further makes me believe Akinari and Trace aren't as honest as they're being right now, but of course given that this is simply the beginning and they're being put on blast right now, I just know this is going to be subverted and another duo is going to be implicated because I know the mailboxes have to be relevant somehow.
Great work on this chapter, Candle, and especially given you wrote this at the same time as the investigation prior too! I need your energy for my own stories, I can barely manage to get mine out at a reasonable time, I need to know your secret lol.
I really loved this trial chapter, if we get this same level of detail for Gold House, that just makes me even more excited. I will say it's oddly funny that this story gets to its mock trial first, but I trust the process and I still love what you've done here, especially that scrum debate, it was glorious.
So, it looks like Ayano and Maimi were a part of a real case, and honestly that beginning blurb of what I assumed was what happened in the past, sounds really intriguing and I hope we get to see more of it as the story progresses.
I just love how Freyja steers the conversation in the beginning and then Midas just derails it so much that even a hell spawn like Yumi is just fed up with their nonsense, and seeing her tank an electric shock and get up as if it was just a light tickle was the best part. I also like how everyone was really quick to want to vote them out due to them being nuisances and I can't really blame them for it, but it is nice to see Kokoro, our student protagonist be on the wrong side of the debate so to speak, it is very refreshing.
Speaking of, I love how each person in this trial works together and has their own little mini game in this mock trial, and I even like how they matched their talent with a clear visual of what it was. The idea of Ayano's body being carted around the multiple crime scenes and the revelation that the science room was a big part of this crime only further makes me believe Akinari and Trace aren't as honest as they're being right now, but of course given that this is simply the beginning and they're being put on blast right now, I just know this is going to be subverted and another duo is going to be implicated because I know the mailboxes have to be relevant somehow.
Great work on this chapter, Candle, and especially given you wrote this at the same time as the investigation prior too! I need your energy for my own stories, I can barely manage to get mine out at a reasonable time, I need to know your secret lol.
1/22/2024 c9 SqualinaTralala
Holy moly, an investigation and a trial in the prologue, now that is something I haven’t seen before! To be honest, I’m not very good at putting clues together but I still have many things I want to talk about, mainly the interactions, cause dammmn, they were quite eventful!
First off, that passage with Ayano is very mysterious, it would seem like she’s preparing herself to murder someone but then maybe got killed herself à la Sayaka? Who is that second person? Is that Maimi Yuuki? Or could it be someone else? Or heck, could that scene be about something else than a murder? Mmmmm…..
Alright, let’s get back to the main story! What the hell are those rules? A random person is being given the role of the culprit and they will have to work with their assigned partner to either win an advantage or be punished get a disadvantage? Now that’s a plotwist! Why do I imagine the advantage being similar to something from Survivor like an extra vote or some kind of immunity idol? Talk about a really stressful entrance exam… It was nice to see Eddie again even though it didn’t last too long and we got back to Kokoro’s POV! The guy might seem harsh and somewhat selfish with him wanting the role of the blackened but he does seem to care about the kids which is really sweet! Ah and that scene when everyone’s collars got lasers coming out kinda reminds me of YTTD, sorry, I just can’t help myself comparing random stuff to this game!
Hmm, I’m really curious to see how this trial will go… Will it be the spotless or the culpritaccomplice that will succeed? …Why am I getting the ominous feeling that the culprit will win the trial? The reason I am thinking that? Well, since it has lower stakes than a normal trial, I feel like it would be a good opportunity to see how a “culprit” can succeed at fooling others without everyone else being executed (aka having a game over, kinda)! Also, going meta, I think it would be narratively more interesting for a duo (or quartet) to get an advantage that they could use later in the story while everyone else is punished… For sure, this trial is gonna be chaotic as heck, so I feel like we’re gonna get a really tight vote, so some people are gonna be real pissed… Anyway, that’s just a theory, a fanfiction theory, inb4 I'm wrong about everything lmao.
Wow, Kokoro, how mature of you, to call your mentor a walrus. Honestly, she’s so earnest it almost loops back to being comedic! I really enjoyed seeing her judging everyone in this chapter and the last one! And so, the roles are distributed! As expected, the athletic guy, the most physically imposing man and the intimidating-looking woman are in charge of guarding the evidence! Poor Bohai is such a nervous wreck, he’s like if Mikan actually died in her killing game and got reincarnated in a Jojo-like body, lol. Thankfully, he has Mateo next to him to teach him how to get some confidence. I seriously love that guy, he’s so funny and wholesome! Haha Kokoro seems so annoyed with her new nickname, Kokonuts now that’s a goofy one! Hmmm, if I were to give a nickname to Kokoro, it would be Cocorico, cause she’s you know…cocky? Okay I’ll be out.
I kinda had some inkling that Adam’s apathy is actually more serious than it looks like, but now it looks like it’s confirmed, the poor guy seems to be suffering from clinical depression. Gosh the way this guy talks is simply…full of despair. He really needs to get some help, but where? Being stuck in a game like this certainly doesn’t help! Kokoro seems really uncomfortable interacting with him towards the end of the scene as he starts to remind her of someone familiar… Who could that person be? I don’t really have any other guess at the moment than her father… Oh gosh if this is what i’m thinking of, then… I won’t elaborate further, but there would be a lot of trauma…
Honestly, Yumi is starting to unsettle me lol, like at first, I thought a tragic past combined with the current stressful events would explain her behavior and her hatred of Ultimates but then she goes on bragging about her own talent and saying she's the only one of worth and that she will win alone, like what? And that’s not even speaking about her threatening to kill anyone that even slightly irritated her as we have seen in the previous chapter (Freyja is much more brave than me, lmao). Like, Kokoro’s meritocratic philosophy rubs me the wrong way too, but at least she isn’t about to jump over everyone who annoys her or that would be the whole cast, lol. Anyway, I was thoroughly entertained by her faceoff with Kokoro and Eddie! Lol, Yumi incarnated Miu by wanting Kokoro to beg her for the files, unfortunately (or fortunately) for her, the SHSL Student Council President is not so desperate!
Hehehe I was so looking forward to seeing my girl getting her imaginary tinfoil hat on during an investigation, never have I expected it would happen so soon! I adore how you wrote her here with her loud emphasis on certain words and her fourth-wall breaking quirk! Yes, I hear you, my child, I’m so sorry for putting you yet again in a deadly game… Freyja might try to act the straight man to her mentor Lady Midas but she ain’t escaping the nutcase allegations, unfortunately. Poor Tiago and Jiyuu are stressed out of their minds having to interact with her and I sympathize, lol. Especially Tiago who seemed close to tearing out his hair trying to discipline the conspiracy theorist! Honestly though, her theory is pretty interesting, I feel like if someone else, say, Yoshinobu was the one behind the theory, everyone would believe him! Makes sense, considering her personality and her talent, but still I would laugh if she ends up being the Cassandra of the group lol. Hmm, the intro scene seems to indicate that Ayano is a real person but we shall see if that is the truth or that is a forgery later…
Sorry, I got too lazy to comment about every single scene of this massive chapter, but there’s still quite a lot of stuff that caught my attention, I'll list them real quick! Ayame…real quiet and seemingly disturbed by being touched… I’m curious about her past if that has something to do with my stalker theory? Lady Midas, of course she’s gonna attempt to derail the investigation! I wonder if that will still be the case during the future cases (if she survives) Casey, he seems like one of the more sane ones, although I’m very curious about his show business past… He seems somewhat haunted by something… Totally random, but just how crazy would it be if he somehow was the son of a family vlogger who filmed all his life on the internet, turning him into a born tv-reality star? Now that would be traumatizing! Miho, wow that girl doesn’t seem able to feel fear at all, for some reason her manic energy reminds me of Mary from Ib although that scene at the end seems quite creepy though, who is that uncle of hers and what kind of role did he played in the pyrotechnician’s life? Chuya, we see a more negative side of her, namely her being accidentally (?) condescending while talking to the kids… She still seems very much nice and cooperative, but again, if I were to go with my silly Angel or Devil theory and that she turns out to be evil, I won’t be surprised if she’s the mastermind or something, it just makes sense, thematically, somewhat! And finally Jiyuu, why is she hiding her talent? She seems to feel a lot of guilt about it, is it something she’s ashamed of? She seems familiar with what is happening…What if she somehow survived a death game and had to sacrifice everyone else to get out? Or heck what if she murdered someone accidentally and still got away with it? Yeah, I’m rambling, it’s almost 4am as I’m typing this, lol.
Yup, that’s all I’ve got to say, sorry for skipping a chapter review _, that was an amazing update, Candle! I’m so impressed by your productivity! Keep up the great job, but also, don’t overwork yourself! I’ll see you next time! :D
Holy moly, an investigation and a trial in the prologue, now that is something I haven’t seen before! To be honest, I’m not very good at putting clues together but I still have many things I want to talk about, mainly the interactions, cause dammmn, they were quite eventful!
First off, that passage with Ayano is very mysterious, it would seem like she’s preparing herself to murder someone but then maybe got killed herself à la Sayaka? Who is that second person? Is that Maimi Yuuki? Or could it be someone else? Or heck, could that scene be about something else than a murder? Mmmmm…..
Alright, let’s get back to the main story! What the hell are those rules? A random person is being given the role of the culprit and they will have to work with their assigned partner to either win an advantage or be punished get a disadvantage? Now that’s a plotwist! Why do I imagine the advantage being similar to something from Survivor like an extra vote or some kind of immunity idol? Talk about a really stressful entrance exam… It was nice to see Eddie again even though it didn’t last too long and we got back to Kokoro’s POV! The guy might seem harsh and somewhat selfish with him wanting the role of the blackened but he does seem to care about the kids which is really sweet! Ah and that scene when everyone’s collars got lasers coming out kinda reminds me of YTTD, sorry, I just can’t help myself comparing random stuff to this game!
Hmm, I’m really curious to see how this trial will go… Will it be the spotless or the culpritaccomplice that will succeed? …Why am I getting the ominous feeling that the culprit will win the trial? The reason I am thinking that? Well, since it has lower stakes than a normal trial, I feel like it would be a good opportunity to see how a “culprit” can succeed at fooling others without everyone else being executed (aka having a game over, kinda)! Also, going meta, I think it would be narratively more interesting for a duo (or quartet) to get an advantage that they could use later in the story while everyone else is punished… For sure, this trial is gonna be chaotic as heck, so I feel like we’re gonna get a really tight vote, so some people are gonna be real pissed… Anyway, that’s just a theory, a fanfiction theory, inb4 I'm wrong about everything lmao.
Wow, Kokoro, how mature of you, to call your mentor a walrus. Honestly, she’s so earnest it almost loops back to being comedic! I really enjoyed seeing her judging everyone in this chapter and the last one! And so, the roles are distributed! As expected, the athletic guy, the most physically imposing man and the intimidating-looking woman are in charge of guarding the evidence! Poor Bohai is such a nervous wreck, he’s like if Mikan actually died in her killing game and got reincarnated in a Jojo-like body, lol. Thankfully, he has Mateo next to him to teach him how to get some confidence. I seriously love that guy, he’s so funny and wholesome! Haha Kokoro seems so annoyed with her new nickname, Kokonuts now that’s a goofy one! Hmmm, if I were to give a nickname to Kokoro, it would be Cocorico, cause she’s you know…cocky? Okay I’ll be out.
I kinda had some inkling that Adam’s apathy is actually more serious than it looks like, but now it looks like it’s confirmed, the poor guy seems to be suffering from clinical depression. Gosh the way this guy talks is simply…full of despair. He really needs to get some help, but where? Being stuck in a game like this certainly doesn’t help! Kokoro seems really uncomfortable interacting with him towards the end of the scene as he starts to remind her of someone familiar… Who could that person be? I don’t really have any other guess at the moment than her father… Oh gosh if this is what i’m thinking of, then… I won’t elaborate further, but there would be a lot of trauma…
Honestly, Yumi is starting to unsettle me lol, like at first, I thought a tragic past combined with the current stressful events would explain her behavior and her hatred of Ultimates but then she goes on bragging about her own talent and saying she's the only one of worth and that she will win alone, like what? And that’s not even speaking about her threatening to kill anyone that even slightly irritated her as we have seen in the previous chapter (Freyja is much more brave than me, lmao). Like, Kokoro’s meritocratic philosophy rubs me the wrong way too, but at least she isn’t about to jump over everyone who annoys her or that would be the whole cast, lol. Anyway, I was thoroughly entertained by her faceoff with Kokoro and Eddie! Lol, Yumi incarnated Miu by wanting Kokoro to beg her for the files, unfortunately (or fortunately) for her, the SHSL Student Council President is not so desperate!
Hehehe I was so looking forward to seeing my girl getting her imaginary tinfoil hat on during an investigation, never have I expected it would happen so soon! I adore how you wrote her here with her loud emphasis on certain words and her fourth-wall breaking quirk! Yes, I hear you, my child, I’m so sorry for putting you yet again in a deadly game… Freyja might try to act the straight man to her mentor Lady Midas but she ain’t escaping the nutcase allegations, unfortunately. Poor Tiago and Jiyuu are stressed out of their minds having to interact with her and I sympathize, lol. Especially Tiago who seemed close to tearing out his hair trying to discipline the conspiracy theorist! Honestly though, her theory is pretty interesting, I feel like if someone else, say, Yoshinobu was the one behind the theory, everyone would believe him! Makes sense, considering her personality and her talent, but still I would laugh if she ends up being the Cassandra of the group lol. Hmm, the intro scene seems to indicate that Ayano is a real person but we shall see if that is the truth or that is a forgery later…
Sorry, I got too lazy to comment about every single scene of this massive chapter, but there’s still quite a lot of stuff that caught my attention, I'll list them real quick! Ayame…real quiet and seemingly disturbed by being touched… I’m curious about her past if that has something to do with my stalker theory? Lady Midas, of course she’s gonna attempt to derail the investigation! I wonder if that will still be the case during the future cases (if she survives) Casey, he seems like one of the more sane ones, although I’m very curious about his show business past… He seems somewhat haunted by something… Totally random, but just how crazy would it be if he somehow was the son of a family vlogger who filmed all his life on the internet, turning him into a born tv-reality star? Now that would be traumatizing! Miho, wow that girl doesn’t seem able to feel fear at all, for some reason her manic energy reminds me of Mary from Ib although that scene at the end seems quite creepy though, who is that uncle of hers and what kind of role did he played in the pyrotechnician’s life? Chuya, we see a more negative side of her, namely her being accidentally (?) condescending while talking to the kids… She still seems very much nice and cooperative, but again, if I were to go with my silly Angel or Devil theory and that she turns out to be evil, I won’t be surprised if she’s the mastermind or something, it just makes sense, thematically, somewhat! And finally Jiyuu, why is she hiding her talent? She seems to feel a lot of guilt about it, is it something she’s ashamed of? She seems familiar with what is happening…What if she somehow survived a death game and had to sacrifice everyone else to get out? Or heck what if she murdered someone accidentally and still got away with it? Yeah, I’m rambling, it’s almost 4am as I’m typing this, lol.
Yup, that’s all I’ve got to say, sorry for skipping a chapter review _, that was an amazing update, Candle! I’m so impressed by your productivity! Keep up the great job, but also, don’t overwork yourself! I’ll see you next time! :D
1/20/2024 c9 Prince PokePersona
I'm going to be honest, reading this extremely long chapter has me both intrigued in how these clues tie together and how all these rooms could lead to the murder of Ayano Minami. I just adore the character interactions in it and seeing Kokoro get gradually annoyed with all of her peers and the adults was just so much fun to watch, she definitely is like the protagonist of Eden's Garden and I love her more for it.
I only really remember the clues regarding the mailboxes, which I think might have been used to transport and notes or hide evidence, but again I could be not thinking on it properly. That girl Maimi Yuuki however feels even more salient to remember. I wonder if she's somehow related to this cast or if she was another deceased student alongside Ayano Minami. I honestly thought it was an anagram for someone's name but I don't think so really.
For the students, I do think Adam's depressing behavior and his comments do make me wonder why he's so morbid all the time. Ayame has the right idea in not engaging with them, but I think she has some trick up her sleeve. I like that my boy Casey at least tried to be nice with Kokoro, despite his little incident with the green stuff. Freyja continues to be a bundle of joy and one of my favorite characters, seeing her irritated with people not taking her seriously is just hilarious to watch. Louise is a bit too eager to be analyzing the body, I wonder if she saw something the others didn't. Trace himself seems to be the only one who isn't outwardly antagonistic towards her, but his puns might be a little much in her eyes. Yumi continues to be belligerent and unhelpful which is not surprising, especially since she has the most important clue as to Maimi's identity. I feel that Naohito is a more sensible male version of Kokoro, he's a mood honestly, the straight man who finds the other antics a bit grating and I sympathize. Miho likes fire and really wants to cause mayhem, I approve.
For the teachers, Eddie is still as iconic as ever, giving us the sassy responses and being the best papa bear ever and giving Yumi a talking to. Something about Akinari is bothering me, as if he knows something maybe he's the culprit alongside Trace, both of whom are too eager to strike up conversation instead of investigating. Bohai is a wimp, moving on lol. Chuya is an overbearing maternal figure, next, I'm kidding she seems nice enough to check on the others. Midas continues to be public enemy number one and her pranks honestly amuse me. Mateo is just happy to be there, and I love his goofy self. Valerie wishes she could be somewhere else and managing everyone is going to be the death of her, she needs a vacation. I think Yoshinobu knows something, and he probably won't be forthcoming with his evidence if he's so casual about this investigation, then again, he is the expert in this field. Jiyuu is clearly hiding her talent, is it a criminal talent by chance? Tiago does not get enough love and this poor man is this close to having a migraine lol.
I think I'll wait for the trial chapter to see how things pan out, I'm not very smart with piecing these clues together and props to you for this long chapter, great job Candle! I can't wait to see the rest and I'm hyped as heck. Have a good one.
I'm going to be honest, reading this extremely long chapter has me both intrigued in how these clues tie together and how all these rooms could lead to the murder of Ayano Minami. I just adore the character interactions in it and seeing Kokoro get gradually annoyed with all of her peers and the adults was just so much fun to watch, she definitely is like the protagonist of Eden's Garden and I love her more for it.
I only really remember the clues regarding the mailboxes, which I think might have been used to transport and notes or hide evidence, but again I could be not thinking on it properly. That girl Maimi Yuuki however feels even more salient to remember. I wonder if she's somehow related to this cast or if she was another deceased student alongside Ayano Minami. I honestly thought it was an anagram for someone's name but I don't think so really.
For the students, I do think Adam's depressing behavior and his comments do make me wonder why he's so morbid all the time. Ayame has the right idea in not engaging with them, but I think she has some trick up her sleeve. I like that my boy Casey at least tried to be nice with Kokoro, despite his little incident with the green stuff. Freyja continues to be a bundle of joy and one of my favorite characters, seeing her irritated with people not taking her seriously is just hilarious to watch. Louise is a bit too eager to be analyzing the body, I wonder if she saw something the others didn't. Trace himself seems to be the only one who isn't outwardly antagonistic towards her, but his puns might be a little much in her eyes. Yumi continues to be belligerent and unhelpful which is not surprising, especially since she has the most important clue as to Maimi's identity. I feel that Naohito is a more sensible male version of Kokoro, he's a mood honestly, the straight man who finds the other antics a bit grating and I sympathize. Miho likes fire and really wants to cause mayhem, I approve.
For the teachers, Eddie is still as iconic as ever, giving us the sassy responses and being the best papa bear ever and giving Yumi a talking to. Something about Akinari is bothering me, as if he knows something maybe he's the culprit alongside Trace, both of whom are too eager to strike up conversation instead of investigating. Bohai is a wimp, moving on lol. Chuya is an overbearing maternal figure, next, I'm kidding she seems nice enough to check on the others. Midas continues to be public enemy number one and her pranks honestly amuse me. Mateo is just happy to be there, and I love his goofy self. Valerie wishes she could be somewhere else and managing everyone is going to be the death of her, she needs a vacation. I think Yoshinobu knows something, and he probably won't be forthcoming with his evidence if he's so casual about this investigation, then again, he is the expert in this field. Jiyuu is clearly hiding her talent, is it a criminal talent by chance? Tiago does not get enough love and this poor man is this close to having a migraine lol.
I think I'll wait for the trial chapter to see how things pan out, I'm not very smart with piecing these clues together and props to you for this long chapter, great job Candle! I can't wait to see the rest and I'm hyped as heck. Have a good one.
1/20/2024 c8 Prince PokePersona
It took me a hot minute to review this chapter as I finished reading the monster of a chapter after this one, but to make it make sense. I have to say I really love this chapter and I love the cast dynamics even more. The number of eccentric personalities in the group, the chaos it could create and adding in the age gap differences and life experiences, it was really interesting to read about.
Laurel and Barneby sure are interesting mascots. I really love Laurel's creepy yet simple cute design, I saw what she looked like in the server, but her creepy and childish personality really fits with this school like setting, and it seems Barneby is the calmer of the duo. With the way she's dressed and the fact that she's a living doll, literally, I wonder if this has anything to do with the school and if this girl represents a former dead student or something of that nature. So instead of a killing game, it's like Kill Cure where they're trying to prevent people from killing each other, which honestly makes me even more curious as to how murders will occur in this. I suppose personal motivation has something to do with this, but I wonder how this motive plays into it.
Speaking of, Ayano Minami is going to be the focus of this prologue section and already the entire scenario is just like the Project Eden's Garden prologue, which if anything, makes me love this even more as I like this introductory case to get the others into the groove of things. Investigating a past murder which not only reveals more about the school but hints at someone in the cast knowing or maybe having a hand in the crime on top of the themes of wasted talent and potential, it sounds grand! Her talent as well is about making clothes and I wonder if Laurel has something to do with that as well.
Seeing most of the adults say upfront that they will protect the students and refuse to participate in the game on top of Eddie shielding Kokoro from the gas attack, it melted my heart honestly and I love it even more. I love it, great work on this Candle!
It took me a hot minute to review this chapter as I finished reading the monster of a chapter after this one, but to make it make sense. I have to say I really love this chapter and I love the cast dynamics even more. The number of eccentric personalities in the group, the chaos it could create and adding in the age gap differences and life experiences, it was really interesting to read about.
Laurel and Barneby sure are interesting mascots. I really love Laurel's creepy yet simple cute design, I saw what she looked like in the server, but her creepy and childish personality really fits with this school like setting, and it seems Barneby is the calmer of the duo. With the way she's dressed and the fact that she's a living doll, literally, I wonder if this has anything to do with the school and if this girl represents a former dead student or something of that nature. So instead of a killing game, it's like Kill Cure where they're trying to prevent people from killing each other, which honestly makes me even more curious as to how murders will occur in this. I suppose personal motivation has something to do with this, but I wonder how this motive plays into it.
Speaking of, Ayano Minami is going to be the focus of this prologue section and already the entire scenario is just like the Project Eden's Garden prologue, which if anything, makes me love this even more as I like this introductory case to get the others into the groove of things. Investigating a past murder which not only reveals more about the school but hints at someone in the cast knowing or maybe having a hand in the crime on top of the themes of wasted talent and potential, it sounds grand! Her talent as well is about making clothes and I wonder if Laurel has something to do with that as well.
Seeing most of the adults say upfront that they will protect the students and refuse to participate in the game on top of Eddie shielding Kokoro from the gas attack, it melted my heart honestly and I love it even more. I love it, great work on this Candle!
1/20/2024 c9 VividIsSleeping
My mind has been blown by the chapter. Not in a bad way, in a really good way. It feels like I’ve just read pure peak fiction. So much has happened that I can’t really put all my thoughts together, but before the trial is released I should have a pretty decent picture of it. I really love the cast, they actually feel like real people who hate each other, but know they have to cooperate to survive (well some). I’ll definitely be re reading the chapter. You should be proud of what you have accomplished, ;) I am astonished. 10/10
My mind has been blown by the chapter. Not in a bad way, in a really good way. It feels like I’ve just read pure peak fiction. So much has happened that I can’t really put all my thoughts together, but before the trial is released I should have a pretty decent picture of it. I really love the cast, they actually feel like real people who hate each other, but know they have to cooperate to survive (well some). I’ll definitely be re reading the chapter. You should be proud of what you have accomplished, ;) I am astonished. 10/10
12/26/2023 c8 TheRoseShadow21
ooooooh boy the chapter sure ended with a bang, huh? Lots to chew on here for sure. Great work! I look forward to the next chapter
ooooooh boy the chapter sure ended with a bang, huh? Lots to chew on here for sure. Great work! I look forward to the next chapter
12/14/2023 c7 SqualinaTralala
Hurray! I’m done with this dreadful uni semester and have some time to review the newest update! Okay I know I said I would do a second review for the mentors in the previous one but I’m too lazy for that unfortunately and besides this chapter showcases everyone’s personality much better so that’s what I’m going to do. I’ve already read this chapter so many times, overanalyzing each character’s lines and making (definitely not conspiracy) theories in my head!
Where to start… Oh yeah, I said in the Discord that the beginning totally gives me Your Turn To Die vibes with the search for Laurel’s body parts, which is a great thing since I freaking love YTTD! At least they aren’t in a life-or-death situation…yet. With this, we finally got the chance to discover who are the student-teachers duo in the game and I already like all the different dynamics we’ve got here!
Being the team that found the head, the only doll part that isn’t in double besides the torso, I wonder if this means that Yoshinobu and Adam will kinda become the second ‘main’ team of the story…and also, because of their titles (detective and lucky student) being previous protag talents? It’s nice to see an older, more experienced detective in a story, that man seems quite composed and patient having to deal with his less-than-motivated student… As for the latter, he reminds me of a cat with his annoyed reactions and lazy behavior. Random but I wonder if there’s some symbolism with his name (Adam being the first man in the creation myth and Faulx kinda sounding like False, so…False Creation? Welps, that made absolutely no sense, aha)
Then for the second team, we’ve got a duo that I totally did not expect: the Supreme Daredevil and the SHSL Shogi Pro! I’ve gotta say, I love, love Mateo already, I don’t know how to explain it, he has this immaculate himbo bro energy, with his use of casual slangs, he just feels like some guy you’d meet in real life! I also like how despite not registering the danger of the situation immediately, he still is very attentive to his mentee’s reactions and knows how to adjust himself in consequence. Speaking of Ayame, I love her deadpan responses to her mentor but what caught my attention the most was the line about her not wanting to revisit memories about being tracked…Hmmm, what could that mean…Was she a victim of stalking in the past? Anyway, I like how they contrast each other, he is more of an optimist while she’s the pessimist and will be looking forward to seeing more of them later!
Going unto the third team we’ve probably got the most harmonious duo so far with the SHSL Pharmacist and the Supreme Biochemist! I remember it was mentioned in the previous chapter that Akinari owned a pharmacy or something, right? Wonder if their interactions will remain sweet and funny or there might be a little bit of competition later… Honestly, I can’t help but worry about their safety… Maybe it’s just me who’s overly paranoid but this is a Danganronpa story after all and good things never last lol. I usually tends to read over physical descriptions pretty fast, but I just noticed that Trace has a prosthetic leg, that’s interesting, hmm I wonder if he was born missing a limb or if that happened in an accident or something.
Dang, Yumi, I already knew from seeing her creator’s memes that she was gonna be belligerent, but I’m still taken aback by her level of aggressivity, it’s almost like she has the rabies or something…Good thing she has the Supreme Drill Instructor to reign her back in no time, ahaha…really not. But more seriously, I’m really looking forward to learning about the jack-of-all-trade’s backstory, just what kind of horrible thing could have happened for her to distrust Supremes this much? As for Valeria (or is it Valerie? I’m confused with how her name is spelled), she seems like a really badass lady, if a little intimidating… I feel like she’d the type of character who might initially appear really stern but will soften a bit later, kinda like Eddie maybe? Anyway, they’re a fascinating duo, I’m looking forward to seeing their relationship evolve!
Sorry, I’ll sound biased, but I couldn’t stop rereading Lady Midas and Freyja’s part, I freaking love their dynamics here! It’s hilarious to see the SHSL Conspiracy Theorist being weirded out by the Supreme Villain, usually, it’s the others that are weirded out by her. With such sick burns, I would love to see them have a rap battle in the future! I’m almost Lady Midas’s age, I guess I’m also a bag of bones, lmao. You’ve written my girl very well so far and I can’t wait to see her future development! Meanwhile, Lady Midas is giving hammy phantom thief energy X witchy crazed cackles, I really love her already! Totally random but I’m imagining her laugh sounding like Beatrice from Umineko! Hehe, if I were to do another random nonsensical theory... Lady Midas's name is related to King Midas, who changes everything he touches into gold. Beatrice is the Golden Witch. Therefore, Lady Midas is Beatrice in disguise! No but really, I wonder why she chose that name (I’m assuming it’s an alias) and what kind of offenses she committed to receive her title? Technically, a villain could be anything from a bigoted bully to an evil landlord to a war criminal to a serial cheater to an animal abuser to an unscrupulous oil baron to a death game mastermind, but some of these sounds kinda too much so maybe it’s something a bit less unredeemable? Though, I think it’d be a bit boring if she was just a harmless prankster but who knows?
Now for the next duo introduction, we’ve got the SHSL Reality TV Star and the Supreme Child Caretaker… I’m intrigued by Casey in particular, being a public figure, I feel like he’s the type to be extremely careful with the way he interacts with others. Like every single word and action is calculated for the max positive outcome. Gotta charm everyone to win the top reality TV prize, after all! He seems mildly annoyed with Chuya’s motherly fussiness but will still keep the peace for example. Heh, I earlier joked about Chuya either being the perfect angel or a secret devil, no in-between, seems like she is closer to the former, thankfully for her protégé. I might not know anything about our teenage cast, but I feel like everyone will probably need a kind lady to pamper them… Aha watch me try to psychoanalyze characters in their very first scenes and be wrong, it’s totally like I’m in a social studies class or something…
Omg I didn’t expect Bohai to be so meek, it’s almost like the roles of mentor and mentee are switched between him and Louise! My knowledge of Chinese might be poor, but his last name Shui Niu seems rather straightforward, it means Water Buffalo, which fits him quite well! Bohai on the other hand seems to be a reference to a sea in China? Fitting again, for the Supreme Marine Biologist! He seems like a sweet man, if a little (very) nervous which is honestly understandable considering the situation. Let’s hope he won’t suffer the curse of the big guy in Danganronpa… As for the SHSL Doctor, she remains delightfully entertaining, I love her sassy yet deadpan personality and her whole aesthetic with the witchy outfit, the southern accent, and the pipe (whew, she might be too young to smoke but she probably doesn’t care about conventional health advice, does she?) Anyway, I love their dynamic, it’s super unique and I’m excited to see more of them!
Poor Kokoro is still asleep, I wonder if she got a bigger dose of chloroform than the others when she got kidnapped or if she just collapsed from having to carry literally everyone in her previous GHA class lol. At least she has Daddy-Eddie to look after her, I really like this guy, he seems intimidating, but he has a heart, I’m still curious about who’s that shadowy guy he keeps remembering… A brother? A friend? A lover? In any case, I’m very much looking forward to seeing their interactions with the rest of the cast, I can already see them being annoyed by most of the cast bahaha
Finally, we’ve arrived at the last group, now that’s an electric foursome, between the chaotic Miho, the serious Tiago, the hotheaded Naohito and the anxious Jiyuu! Miho really leaves a strong impression with her overflowing energy, girl is about to bounce off the walls, she’s hysterically funny but also a little scary…If I were her companions, I would be careful to keep her from accidentally ‘celebrating’ too soon with her fireworks… As for Tiago, it would seem like he’s attempting to keep order, emphasis put on attempting…Being one of the oldest of the cast, it would seem like he recognizes the characteristic jagged eye of Monokuma, I’m curious to learn what kind of crazy despair he had to deal with in Brazil… Man, I get Naohito, he is just frustrated with everything going on and has no patience for any type of chattering! And Jiyuu is probably the most enigmatic individual we’ve met so far, and I don’t only mean that about her talent! It would seem like she’s familiar with what’s going on, could she have been trapped in a killing game before? Or maybe she knew someone related to a killing game before? To whom did she left her letter to in the previous chapter? She kinda gives a ghost-vibe so I’m going to throw a random guess and say she has a spiritual/mystical type of talent? The biggest question I have though is what kind of role the second reserve is going to play? Are they going to replace people from the ‘main’ cast after they die? Are they going to play their own death game, maybe an escape game? Mysteries, mysteries…
Holy crap, that review went on and on! Anywayyyyyy that was a great chapter and I’m super hyped for the next update! I wish you happy holidays in advance! :D
Hurray! I’m done with this dreadful uni semester and have some time to review the newest update! Okay I know I said I would do a second review for the mentors in the previous one but I’m too lazy for that unfortunately and besides this chapter showcases everyone’s personality much better so that’s what I’m going to do. I’ve already read this chapter so many times, overanalyzing each character’s lines and making (definitely not conspiracy) theories in my head!
Where to start… Oh yeah, I said in the Discord that the beginning totally gives me Your Turn To Die vibes with the search for Laurel’s body parts, which is a great thing since I freaking love YTTD! At least they aren’t in a life-or-death situation…yet. With this, we finally got the chance to discover who are the student-teachers duo in the game and I already like all the different dynamics we’ve got here!
Being the team that found the head, the only doll part that isn’t in double besides the torso, I wonder if this means that Yoshinobu and Adam will kinda become the second ‘main’ team of the story…and also, because of their titles (detective and lucky student) being previous protag talents? It’s nice to see an older, more experienced detective in a story, that man seems quite composed and patient having to deal with his less-than-motivated student… As for the latter, he reminds me of a cat with his annoyed reactions and lazy behavior. Random but I wonder if there’s some symbolism with his name (Adam being the first man in the creation myth and Faulx kinda sounding like False, so…False Creation? Welps, that made absolutely no sense, aha)
Then for the second team, we’ve got a duo that I totally did not expect: the Supreme Daredevil and the SHSL Shogi Pro! I’ve gotta say, I love, love Mateo already, I don’t know how to explain it, he has this immaculate himbo bro energy, with his use of casual slangs, he just feels like some guy you’d meet in real life! I also like how despite not registering the danger of the situation immediately, he still is very attentive to his mentee’s reactions and knows how to adjust himself in consequence. Speaking of Ayame, I love her deadpan responses to her mentor but what caught my attention the most was the line about her not wanting to revisit memories about being tracked…Hmmm, what could that mean…Was she a victim of stalking in the past? Anyway, I like how they contrast each other, he is more of an optimist while she’s the pessimist and will be looking forward to seeing more of them later!
Going unto the third team we’ve probably got the most harmonious duo so far with the SHSL Pharmacist and the Supreme Biochemist! I remember it was mentioned in the previous chapter that Akinari owned a pharmacy or something, right? Wonder if their interactions will remain sweet and funny or there might be a little bit of competition later… Honestly, I can’t help but worry about their safety… Maybe it’s just me who’s overly paranoid but this is a Danganronpa story after all and good things never last lol. I usually tends to read over physical descriptions pretty fast, but I just noticed that Trace has a prosthetic leg, that’s interesting, hmm I wonder if he was born missing a limb or if that happened in an accident or something.
Dang, Yumi, I already knew from seeing her creator’s memes that she was gonna be belligerent, but I’m still taken aback by her level of aggressivity, it’s almost like she has the rabies or something…Good thing she has the Supreme Drill Instructor to reign her back in no time, ahaha…really not. But more seriously, I’m really looking forward to learning about the jack-of-all-trade’s backstory, just what kind of horrible thing could have happened for her to distrust Supremes this much? As for Valeria (or is it Valerie? I’m confused with how her name is spelled), she seems like a really badass lady, if a little intimidating… I feel like she’d the type of character who might initially appear really stern but will soften a bit later, kinda like Eddie maybe? Anyway, they’re a fascinating duo, I’m looking forward to seeing their relationship evolve!
Sorry, I’ll sound biased, but I couldn’t stop rereading Lady Midas and Freyja’s part, I freaking love their dynamics here! It’s hilarious to see the SHSL Conspiracy Theorist being weirded out by the Supreme Villain, usually, it’s the others that are weirded out by her. With such sick burns, I would love to see them have a rap battle in the future! I’m almost Lady Midas’s age, I guess I’m also a bag of bones, lmao. You’ve written my girl very well so far and I can’t wait to see her future development! Meanwhile, Lady Midas is giving hammy phantom thief energy X witchy crazed cackles, I really love her already! Totally random but I’m imagining her laugh sounding like Beatrice from Umineko! Hehe, if I were to do another random nonsensical theory... Lady Midas's name is related to King Midas, who changes everything he touches into gold. Beatrice is the Golden Witch. Therefore, Lady Midas is Beatrice in disguise! No but really, I wonder why she chose that name (I’m assuming it’s an alias) and what kind of offenses she committed to receive her title? Technically, a villain could be anything from a bigoted bully to an evil landlord to a war criminal to a serial cheater to an animal abuser to an unscrupulous oil baron to a death game mastermind, but some of these sounds kinda too much so maybe it’s something a bit less unredeemable? Though, I think it’d be a bit boring if she was just a harmless prankster but who knows?
Now for the next duo introduction, we’ve got the SHSL Reality TV Star and the Supreme Child Caretaker… I’m intrigued by Casey in particular, being a public figure, I feel like he’s the type to be extremely careful with the way he interacts with others. Like every single word and action is calculated for the max positive outcome. Gotta charm everyone to win the top reality TV prize, after all! He seems mildly annoyed with Chuya’s motherly fussiness but will still keep the peace for example. Heh, I earlier joked about Chuya either being the perfect angel or a secret devil, no in-between, seems like she is closer to the former, thankfully for her protégé. I might not know anything about our teenage cast, but I feel like everyone will probably need a kind lady to pamper them… Aha watch me try to psychoanalyze characters in their very first scenes and be wrong, it’s totally like I’m in a social studies class or something…
Omg I didn’t expect Bohai to be so meek, it’s almost like the roles of mentor and mentee are switched between him and Louise! My knowledge of Chinese might be poor, but his last name Shui Niu seems rather straightforward, it means Water Buffalo, which fits him quite well! Bohai on the other hand seems to be a reference to a sea in China? Fitting again, for the Supreme Marine Biologist! He seems like a sweet man, if a little (very) nervous which is honestly understandable considering the situation. Let’s hope he won’t suffer the curse of the big guy in Danganronpa… As for the SHSL Doctor, she remains delightfully entertaining, I love her sassy yet deadpan personality and her whole aesthetic with the witchy outfit, the southern accent, and the pipe (whew, she might be too young to smoke but she probably doesn’t care about conventional health advice, does she?) Anyway, I love their dynamic, it’s super unique and I’m excited to see more of them!
Poor Kokoro is still asleep, I wonder if she got a bigger dose of chloroform than the others when she got kidnapped or if she just collapsed from having to carry literally everyone in her previous GHA class lol. At least she has Daddy-Eddie to look after her, I really like this guy, he seems intimidating, but he has a heart, I’m still curious about who’s that shadowy guy he keeps remembering… A brother? A friend? A lover? In any case, I’m very much looking forward to seeing their interactions with the rest of the cast, I can already see them being annoyed by most of the cast bahaha
Finally, we’ve arrived at the last group, now that’s an electric foursome, between the chaotic Miho, the serious Tiago, the hotheaded Naohito and the anxious Jiyuu! Miho really leaves a strong impression with her overflowing energy, girl is about to bounce off the walls, she’s hysterically funny but also a little scary…If I were her companions, I would be careful to keep her from accidentally ‘celebrating’ too soon with her fireworks… As for Tiago, it would seem like he’s attempting to keep order, emphasis put on attempting…Being one of the oldest of the cast, it would seem like he recognizes the characteristic jagged eye of Monokuma, I’m curious to learn what kind of crazy despair he had to deal with in Brazil… Man, I get Naohito, he is just frustrated with everything going on and has no patience for any type of chattering! And Jiyuu is probably the most enigmatic individual we’ve met so far, and I don’t only mean that about her talent! It would seem like she’s familiar with what’s going on, could she have been trapped in a killing game before? Or maybe she knew someone related to a killing game before? To whom did she left her letter to in the previous chapter? She kinda gives a ghost-vibe so I’m going to throw a random guess and say she has a spiritual/mystical type of talent? The biggest question I have though is what kind of role the second reserve is going to play? Are they going to replace people from the ‘main’ cast after they die? Are they going to play their own death game, maybe an escape game? Mysteries, mysteries…
Holy crap, that review went on and on! Anywayyyyyy that was a great chapter and I’m super hyped for the next update! I wish you happy holidays in advance! :D
12/6/2023 c7 6Prince PokePersona
I had finally sat down to read this chapter in full after doing two final exams back-to-back and getting the rest of my work done. Though I am tired and it's close to midnight, I planned to review this chapter and what better time than now to do so after you gave me such nice reviews for my own story, lol just kidding I was going to review anyway.
Eddie is over here freaking out and Kokoro is just taking a nap, probably the longest well-deserved respite she needed, damn she's been sleeping for what seems to be hours during all of this noise. I wonder why these two weren't able to find their way out of this one, maybe they'll find a way out last and meet up with the rest when she wakes up. I just know she's not going to be happy and neither will papa bear Eddie.
Now on to the cast that have been revealed for quite a while, but this review is very late. I loved how you drummed up so much suspense and hype for this roster and I'm excited to review the characters we've met so far.
I'm immediately reminded of the meme of the old man and his grandchild where she says she's tired and he's like that's too damn bad. Yoshinobu having to do all the work with a bum leg and Adam is over here loafing about which is honestly the biggest mood ever. It seems both of them are fed up and done with everything already and I was half expecting the detective to call the lucky student a whippersnapper lol. Adam is very much relatable in his lethargy and sluggishness and Yoshinobu despite his years is still sharp and instinctive, which gives him a sort of Sherlock Holmes vibe. They're both neat, I imagine their student mentor relationship to be one that is an old man lecturing a dazed student.
Mateo already gives off goofball, dumb, older brother energy and Ayame is the younger sister who is not having any of his zaney over the top enthusiasm. I think these two contrast each other very well and I just love her deadpan expressions and remarks to his general chipper attitude. He can't sit still and she's trying to concentrate, and I already like this duo combination. I imagine he's going to be the fun mentor who tries to engage with her, but she's just the studious one who is more book smarts and would rather play a shogi game of wits and intellect than focus on physical labor. I freaking love this Mateo already, he's just so funny and dude bro and Ayame is the preppy princess.
I feel like Akinari is about ready to hand me a Lab Safety document to fill out, get signed by a parent and have him look over it. Trace seems to oblige him really well, the two clearly get along given their respective fields most likely overlap. Akinari is the fun and cool teacher who tries to enthuse people with science puns, Bill Nye the science guy reruns and well-timed humor. He reminds me a lot of a few teachers I had growing up and I wish I had someone like him for some my more intense Science classes. Trace on the other hand is very diligent, prepared and has a very eccentric wardrobe. Out of all the duos, these two seem to be a match made in heaven and I find their dynamic to be the most wholesome.
I now see why Yumi was such a tyrant and such a meme, she is absolutely incorrigible and violent. She solves everything with force and Veleria is attempting to set this ragamuffin of a girl straight. I will admit it's hella badass seeing the drill instructor put the jack of all trades in her place like that even if she finds her attempts amusing in a challenge kind of way. I imagine Veleria has her work cut out for her and her blunt yet focused mindset of trying to train this girl is going to be a tough task. Yumi seems like the one who will cause the most chaos of the group and that's saying a lot, this is going to be a very wild duo and Veleria might end up becoming an alcoholic at the end.
I just love the roast sessions Midas and Freyja have going on right now. Despite being a literal child, just turned teenager, she's a lot more perceptive and theoretical than her mentor who acts like a cartoon prankster troublemaker which is what I'm assuming is her official government talent to be. Freyja just casually bringing up how random and insane her mentor was just hilarious and Midas being coy and trying to enlist her into being her minion was just really funny and cute at the same time. I know these two are in my top favorites already. Freyja might even try outwitting Midas, and the two will have this wacky dynamic.
Ah my boy, he's here. I just wanted to say thank you so much again for accepting Casey, Candle. I know you'll have so much fun with his character and I can already see how he's going to interact with someone like Chuya who comes across as the doting motherly figure who seems to be a bit overprotective and helicopter parent-esque. She's trying to parent him and he's just trying to be polite with her, but I can see my boy is not warming up to it as much, giving some form of flattery here and there. You've done an amazing job writing him and I can see this dynamic playing out nicely if it's what I think. Maybe she becomes more of a parental figure in his life and tries to be his therapist mom friend more than a mentor so to speak.
How is it that I already find Bohai and Louise's dynamic to be the funniest out of them all. Something about seeing this grown ass tall and muscular man getting bossed around by this frail, creepy, Agoth girl just fills me with glee for some reason. He almost sounds stunted in a sense, despite his towering appearance, he is very anxious, caring for animals and is not very confident with his words and that shows through his almost pirate like outfit. Louise on the other hand is as cool as a cucumber, she does not seem phased by much and honestly slay queen she is already viewing her mentor as a test subject than an authority figure and if her intro last chapter was anything to go by, it is going to be my favorite dynamic.
And we arrive to the reserve mentors and students and they're just as unique in their own way as the rest. Naohito seems to be the most reasonable of the group, he is pretty much done with everyone in this room and I do not blame him. Jiyuu is a nervous wreck and is being the appeaser of the group while Tiago is asserting his dominance and trying to maintain order even though he's doing a bad job at it. Miho on the other hand is currently in her own world, the lights are on but no one is home type vibes, she is ADHD personified and I just know this girl is going to vibe well with a lot of other people such as Midas, Freyja or maybe even Louise. I think Jiyuu's student is Miho as I can imagine her cautious self is going to have to monitor a reckless Miho who seems ready to blow stuff up which is a valid response lol. Naohito is stuck with Tiago and I imagine he won't like that, being bossed around by an older man who looks like a mafioso member.
I also noted how the parts they each found in their rooms, I realized are the parts to Laurel since you said a while back she is indeed a living doll which honestly makes so much sense and is a really cool gimmick, they have to put her back together like LEGO and Barnaby the bird is just casually rotting in the corner and getting roasted by Miho for being ugly and gross lmfao. If they found all the parts, how are Eddie and Kokoro going to get out is the question?
I've gone on for long enough, this was an amazing chapter candle. Sorry for the late review but good job and I can't wait for the next one.
6Prince PokePersonaI had finally sat down to read this chapter in full after doing two final exams back-to-back and getting the rest of my work done. Though I am tired and it's close to midnight, I planned to review this chapter and what better time than now to do so after you gave me such nice reviews for my own story, lol just kidding I was going to review anyway.
Eddie is over here freaking out and Kokoro is just taking a nap, probably the longest well-deserved respite she needed, damn she's been sleeping for what seems to be hours during all of this noise. I wonder why these two weren't able to find their way out of this one, maybe they'll find a way out last and meet up with the rest when she wakes up. I just know she's not going to be happy and neither will papa bear Eddie.
Now on to the cast that have been revealed for quite a while, but this review is very late. I loved how you drummed up so much suspense and hype for this roster and I'm excited to review the characters we've met so far.
I'm immediately reminded of the meme of the old man and his grandchild where she says she's tired and he's like that's too damn bad. Yoshinobu having to do all the work with a bum leg and Adam is over here loafing about which is honestly the biggest mood ever. It seems both of them are fed up and done with everything already and I was half expecting the detective to call the lucky student a whippersnapper lol. Adam is very much relatable in his lethargy and sluggishness and Yoshinobu despite his years is still sharp and instinctive, which gives him a sort of Sherlock Holmes vibe. They're both neat, I imagine their student mentor relationship to be one that is an old man lecturing a dazed student.
Mateo already gives off goofball, dumb, older brother energy and Ayame is the younger sister who is not having any of his zaney over the top enthusiasm. I think these two contrast each other very well and I just love her deadpan expressions and remarks to his general chipper attitude. He can't sit still and she's trying to concentrate, and I already like this duo combination. I imagine he's going to be the fun mentor who tries to engage with her, but she's just the studious one who is more book smarts and would rather play a shogi game of wits and intellect than focus on physical labor. I freaking love this Mateo already, he's just so funny and dude bro and Ayame is the preppy princess.
I feel like Akinari is about ready to hand me a Lab Safety document to fill out, get signed by a parent and have him look over it. Trace seems to oblige him really well, the two clearly get along given their respective fields most likely overlap. Akinari is the fun and cool teacher who tries to enthuse people with science puns, Bill Nye the science guy reruns and well-timed humor. He reminds me a lot of a few teachers I had growing up and I wish I had someone like him for some my more intense Science classes. Trace on the other hand is very diligent, prepared and has a very eccentric wardrobe. Out of all the duos, these two seem to be a match made in heaven and I find their dynamic to be the most wholesome.
I now see why Yumi was such a tyrant and such a meme, she is absolutely incorrigible and violent. She solves everything with force and Veleria is attempting to set this ragamuffin of a girl straight. I will admit it's hella badass seeing the drill instructor put the jack of all trades in her place like that even if she finds her attempts amusing in a challenge kind of way. I imagine Veleria has her work cut out for her and her blunt yet focused mindset of trying to train this girl is going to be a tough task. Yumi seems like the one who will cause the most chaos of the group and that's saying a lot, this is going to be a very wild duo and Veleria might end up becoming an alcoholic at the end.
I just love the roast sessions Midas and Freyja have going on right now. Despite being a literal child, just turned teenager, she's a lot more perceptive and theoretical than her mentor who acts like a cartoon prankster troublemaker which is what I'm assuming is her official government talent to be. Freyja just casually bringing up how random and insane her mentor was just hilarious and Midas being coy and trying to enlist her into being her minion was just really funny and cute at the same time. I know these two are in my top favorites already. Freyja might even try outwitting Midas, and the two will have this wacky dynamic.
Ah my boy, he's here. I just wanted to say thank you so much again for accepting Casey, Candle. I know you'll have so much fun with his character and I can already see how he's going to interact with someone like Chuya who comes across as the doting motherly figure who seems to be a bit overprotective and helicopter parent-esque. She's trying to parent him and he's just trying to be polite with her, but I can see my boy is not warming up to it as much, giving some form of flattery here and there. You've done an amazing job writing him and I can see this dynamic playing out nicely if it's what I think. Maybe she becomes more of a parental figure in his life and tries to be his therapist mom friend more than a mentor so to speak.
How is it that I already find Bohai and Louise's dynamic to be the funniest out of them all. Something about seeing this grown ass tall and muscular man getting bossed around by this frail, creepy, Agoth girl just fills me with glee for some reason. He almost sounds stunted in a sense, despite his towering appearance, he is very anxious, caring for animals and is not very confident with his words and that shows through his almost pirate like outfit. Louise on the other hand is as cool as a cucumber, she does not seem phased by much and honestly slay queen she is already viewing her mentor as a test subject than an authority figure and if her intro last chapter was anything to go by, it is going to be my favorite dynamic.
And we arrive to the reserve mentors and students and they're just as unique in their own way as the rest. Naohito seems to be the most reasonable of the group, he is pretty much done with everyone in this room and I do not blame him. Jiyuu is a nervous wreck and is being the appeaser of the group while Tiago is asserting his dominance and trying to maintain order even though he's doing a bad job at it. Miho on the other hand is currently in her own world, the lights are on but no one is home type vibes, she is ADHD personified and I just know this girl is going to vibe well with a lot of other people such as Midas, Freyja or maybe even Louise. I think Jiyuu's student is Miho as I can imagine her cautious self is going to have to monitor a reckless Miho who seems ready to blow stuff up which is a valid response lol. Naohito is stuck with Tiago and I imagine he won't like that, being bossed around by an older man who looks like a mafioso member.
I also noted how the parts they each found in their rooms, I realized are the parts to Laurel since you said a while back she is indeed a living doll which honestly makes so much sense and is a really cool gimmick, they have to put her back together like LEGO and Barnaby the bird is just casually rotting in the corner and getting roasted by Miho for being ugly and gross lmfao. If they found all the parts, how are Eddie and Kokoro going to get out is the question?
I've gone on for long enough, this was an amazing chapter candle. Sorry for the late review but good job and I can't wait for the next one.
11/6/2023 c7 lemipao
Hi there! I’m so excited about this new chapter — just the fuel i need to get me through the end of the semester :’DD We’re finally getting a proper introduction of our cast and I must say that some of them are not exactly how I initially pictured them : Bohai, for example, is way meeker than I expected, which makes him kind of endearing lol. I do tend to have a weakness for eccentric characters, so of course, Lady Midas, Louise and Miho had my attention from the get-go (special mention to Yoshinobu Date who is no doubt a gilf in my imagination)
The pairings are also quite interesting! From the more obvious choices such as Tracey and Akinari, to the ones that caught me by surprise such as Lady Midas and Freyja, or even Mateo and Ayame — and speaking of Mateo, my son, I absolutely love how you characterized him and I think you nailed his speech pattern and personality in general ! These two are quite the contrasting duo and I’m excited to see in what way they influence each other (Mateo’s hyperactive motor-mouth self could certainly learn a thing or two from Ayame, haha). The same could be said about Valeria and Yumi (although I’m not sure if it’s a drill sergeant or a meditation retreat that Yumi needs most…)
All in all, I really enjoyed this chapter and thought it was a great and promising start ! While waiting for the new chapter, I will be familiarizing myself with everyone through fanarts, hehe… Have a great day!
Hi there! I’m so excited about this new chapter — just the fuel i need to get me through the end of the semester :’DD We’re finally getting a proper introduction of our cast and I must say that some of them are not exactly how I initially pictured them : Bohai, for example, is way meeker than I expected, which makes him kind of endearing lol. I do tend to have a weakness for eccentric characters, so of course, Lady Midas, Louise and Miho had my attention from the get-go (special mention to Yoshinobu Date who is no doubt a gilf in my imagination)
The pairings are also quite interesting! From the more obvious choices such as Tracey and Akinari, to the ones that caught me by surprise such as Lady Midas and Freyja, or even Mateo and Ayame — and speaking of Mateo, my son, I absolutely love how you characterized him and I think you nailed his speech pattern and personality in general ! These two are quite the contrasting duo and I’m excited to see in what way they influence each other (Mateo’s hyperactive motor-mouth self could certainly learn a thing or two from Ayame, haha). The same could be said about Valeria and Yumi (although I’m not sure if it’s a drill sergeant or a meditation retreat that Yumi needs most…)
All in all, I really enjoyed this chapter and thought it was a great and promising start ! While waiting for the new chapter, I will be familiarizing myself with everyone through fanarts, hehe… Have a great day!