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11/1/2023 c8 14Essiter1987
Excellent chapter, and I've read the new chapter 1. It's good. I like the Monty Python reference, too.
And, I know what you mean. It's been hard for me to write for some of these characters, too. Though, I think you got it a bit harder since you're effectively rewriting Yang and the others for this story, but I do love the direction you are taking with them.
10/25/2023 c7 Godofevery
while reading through the whole book I formed a small theory on something that maybe Jaune can use his semblance when he wants he just mentally blocks himself from doing so.
10/25/2023 c8 8Mengsk
Is this really the best way to build an army?
10/25/2023 c4 Mengsk
So, impossible to tell reality and imagined. Weiss life was bad but that was exaggerated by nightmare machine?
10/25/2023 c3 Mengsk
Interesting pitch. Should be worth a read. See what changes and what stays the same.

I suppose I'm wondering to which extent these are even the same characters. Are they still RWBY but with different backgrounds? Did new Backgrounds forge new people?
10/24/2023 c8 Guest
Uhh... Isn't it a bit againts Pzpin interest to let his prospective soldiers kill each other in a test? That is a huge ass waste of perfectly good fighters and future defenders of humanity imo
8/3/2023 c7 Guest
Weirdo Weiss is going to pass this test? How? Is going to be even weirder unless Pyrrha helps her out. Weiss is sort of like a canon version of Jaune, she is the vomit gal.
8/2/2023 c7 Guest
Super interesting can’t wait for next thanks
8/1/2023 c7 Lazy Servant
Thanks for the chapter.
This initiation is good for the mind.
8/1/2023 c7 Guest
Nori plus kombu both seaweeds weird but I like him it gives him a background even as a cameo and they brought good flavour to the soup! For soba and especially udon! yum

I feel like Blake and Yang could be good friends! They are quite strong in their ways. Ruby and Jaune will be fine to score. But
I am thinking Weiss won’t make it this far she doesn’t have combat skill luck isn’t going to help her with hundred over contestants and she needs to collect 10!?
8/1/2023 c7 Chuck B. Winanaki
Blake's nightmare is interesting to say the least, at first it looks like she was going to be hit with a lesson on her pideful ways destroying the things she holds closest but than bam! The dream repeats! The mirror blake was a nice touch. I can't tell if the nightmare is the destruction, the time loop or the spiders! Honestly i'm leaning towards blake being so prideful that she straight up denied the nightmare.

Blake's semblance is interesting, it's possible that the belladonnas have a semblance similar to the schnee but instead of manipulating glyphs they manipulate shadows. Heck i'm pretty sure that blake munching both the grimm and that guy was a dark take on the schnees summons, instead of summoning fallen grimm to fight for you, the belladonnas seem to consume targets both human and grimm. Whether or not blake can now summon forth an ursa and a whip wielder is yet to be seen.

Holy heck yang's dream is intense! The fire and screams is certainly striking but the fact that the nightmare couldn't even make it past the flames is either an indication of the level of yang's pain or the power of her semblance.

I do think it's less semblance related and more yang related, since jaune's semblance couldn't push out the nightmare i doubt another semblance could do it so handily. I imagine that yang's mental fortitude and familiarity with this dream gave her the edge whereas jaune had zero experience with dreams and just tried to brute force it out with aura alone.

Man jaune would have gotten destroyed here without training, aura or a semblance. I mean nori had all three and yang still wrecked him with zero difficulty!

Fantastic chapter! Looking forward to more!
8/1/2023 c7 14Essiter1987
I liked Blake's perspective. So narcissistic she overpowers the Nightmare. Also, Damn! That's a powerful and terrifying Semblance. I love it!
I also loves Yang's dream? Memory? Seems like a variation of what this Jaune is-A blank-slate warrior- before she was saved by Raven, I'm assuming Raven saved her. And I love her Semblance in this, works perfectly with Blake's.
This was a cool chapter.
7/28/2023 c6 Guest
Take me second read today to see Jaune’s wife is Elea, short for Eleanor right? It means bright and beautiful but also could mean muddy in mythology. Oh Jaune loves her and she was the first to say thank you to him why the forget? How cruel.
7/27/2023 c6 Chuck B. Winanaki
Oh man jaune's semblance seemeed pretty cool at first since it could do so much but that's only when the requests are reasonable like "I'm lost" or "Help me fight this grimm!" But seeing not only baby jaune get pushed around and abused is just terrible.
We don't even know where all these Commands come from! Don't let yourself be influenced by another semblance? Don't allow your semblance to fail? Die if you fail? That's not really something that comes up normally in training. Heck with all the Request: Forget commands who knows if anything that jaune remembers is real!

Jaune and Weiss certainly share some similarities. Both have exceptionally bad parents, both had a loving but now deceased parent, both are utterly beholden to what others want, both have been pulled apart and stuck back together over and over until they were perfect. Jaune in a more mental sense with his semblance acting as both leash and noose while weiss was very literally broken down and built again until she was perfect.

Okay now hear me out, what if weiss wasn't here because she put her name in on a goof but instead because willow wanted to test her perfect creation agaisnt the best and brightest that fragment could offer.

Man if penny could see these two she'd definitely feel sympathetic, someone more robotic than the one completely made of metal? That's horrific.
Heck while penny was made from the ground up as an android trying to be human, weiss was a human that was broken down to be more robotic.

Absolutely amazing chapter, definitely looking forward to more!
7/26/2023 c6 Essiter1987
This chapter was awesome! I loved it! Like a spin on the Nightmare Grimm from Ice Queendom. I also love the backstory bits we got for Jaune. Kind of wish we got some more for the rest of RWBY/JNPR but we'll probably be seeing that in the future, I'm sure.
Love the bit of White Knight we have going on here.
Also, you're welcome, and you're awesome!
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