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for Son of a Sword

7/11 c1 deathreapr45
Need a proof reader who is patient. If English is not yor first language you should run it through something like grammarly but a proof reader would be better. The story premise is good though I just get thrown off by how the genders and point of views get mixed up.
7/8 c7 Guest
Nice one
6/15 c4 Aaron21hardin
I kind of feel like the author didn’t really decide if the main protagonist of this story is Shirou or Percy, and it shows. If the main character should be Shirou, then this story should have followed the first with the response to how the first chapter finished, meaning making this story about how Shirou got to the world, who came with him, how he fits in with the mythology, and how the addition of Sally affected him and the others around him.

If Percy is supposed to be the main character, then chapter 2 works after chapter 1, but beyond that, there hasn’t been much proper introduction to who Percy is given all of the changes from canon.

In either case, neither the last chapter nor this one really fit, if Shirou is the main character, this doesn’t really give anything about how Shirou has changed or adapted to this new world, which is what is needed for a Shirou centric story when he is in a new world. If Percy is the main character, this chapter is completely pointless.

If both Shirou and Percy are supposed to be main characters, both apply, and this chapter seems to be based on having more info already known than has been shown in the previous chapters. This story does know flow right.
6/15 c3 Aaron21hardin
Why exactly did you make Sally a famous author, that is a major change that doesn’t really fit in with anything else at the moment.

Same thing with Emiya being a famous chef that cooked for the President, can you name the current chefs the the president off the top of your head? No, because being that good doesn’t make you famous, what ,Akers a chef famous is being a celebrity chef that has their own TV shows like Gordon Ramsey or Bobby Flay, or well thought of food lines like Wolfgang Puck. Neither of those are the types of thing Shirou is interested in, so how exactly would he be famous as a chef, being excellent as a cook (which Emiya may be) is not even the same thing as being an excellent chef (which is as much about managing other great cooks in a commercial kitchen to combine their work as it is about being able to cook). When would he have the time for all this while still forging weapons and fighting monsters?
6/14 c1 30Lix231
Its spelled Shiro, not Shiruo
6/13 c1 Bungaaas
Fou looks: cute dog/cat
Fou personality: what's up shortie ?
6/10 c7 Shen1412
Ahahahahah wait was Fou really like this? Very different from FGO but still fine change
6/10 c7 5ProfesorGoblitz
What the fuck did you do to fou…
6/10 c7 4fangs of death
great chapter
6/10 c7 8Jebest4781
Looks quite well on this.
6/10 c7 Ariel Juarez
It's alive!
6/7 c6 Ranmaleopard
This is just really interesting and I can't wait to see what happens next. Please continue!
4/20 c6 Marco martinez
Discordia
4/6 c6 Lonty Arbalest
Good Chapter
3/8 c1 ginespaul04
10/10
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