for Kill the Spare!5/2 c1 
318ChoCedric
Oh my goodness, I loved this. I loved every minute of reading this. It's amazing to have a story based on your work. I can't understand why every author doesn't love it.
I loved the part where Cho is thinking about everyone who died in the last war, and she's realizing now that those names all mean something to someone. Now that it's someone she loves, she's thinking about it a lot more deeply.
I like how you had them being friends first before they were dating. I like the little details, like Cedric was supposed to be the reserve Seeker for the Appleby Arrows. I also like that you have Cho not be that great at Defense Against the Dark Arts.
I absolutely adore the nod to me and my fiance Ryan. That was absolutely brilliant and something that knocked me off my feet. It was wonderful.
Thank you so much again for writing this. You're the best!
318ChoCedricOh my goodness, I loved this. I loved every minute of reading this. It's amazing to have a story based on your work. I can't understand why every author doesn't love it.
I loved the part where Cho is thinking about everyone who died in the last war, and she's realizing now that those names all mean something to someone. Now that it's someone she loves, she's thinking about it a lot more deeply.
I like how you had them being friends first before they were dating. I like the little details, like Cedric was supposed to be the reserve Seeker for the Appleby Arrows. I also like that you have Cho not be that great at Defense Against the Dark Arts.
I absolutely adore the nod to me and my fiance Ryan. That was absolutely brilliant and something that knocked me off my feet. It was wonderful.
Thank you so much again for writing this. You're the best!
5/2 c1 2k+Hawki
-So there's a number of plot points that come off as gaffs here (e.g. it's mentioned at the start that Cho saw Cedric be murdered, which doesn't line up with the books), but since it's possible that this aligns with the specific story you're basing this off, I've decided to leave such elements to the side.
-Not one of her weakest subjects...SHE HAD scraped an Exceeds Expectations in the subject...
Reads awkwardly as you have "subject" back to back. "In the subject" could be scrapped, so you'd have something like "She HAD scraped an Exceeds Expectations, and she was proud of that."
-Practically every Pureblood and a lot of halfblood family..."
Should be "families.' Also, I don't know if this is intentional, but it's notable that "Pureblood" is capitalized, while "halfblood" isn't.
-"...and left the Wizarding World...to stir up the wizarding world..."
You're inconsistent with capitalization here.
-Above points aside, overall, this is...okay. The main issue is that the oneshot's very passive - very little happens in the oneshot itself, rather, it summizes things that have already happened. It could be argued that passive writing does fit Cho in that she's a passive character in a lot of ways, and I can also concede that depicting events might tread on ChoCedric's turf, so to speak. Still, that doesn't change the execution of the oneshot itself. There's some decent characterization of Cho that works (e.g. her Defence Against the Dark Arts not being that good), but still, she doesn't do much in the oneshot itself.
2k+Hawki-So there's a number of plot points that come off as gaffs here (e.g. it's mentioned at the start that Cho saw Cedric be murdered, which doesn't line up with the books), but since it's possible that this aligns with the specific story you're basing this off, I've decided to leave such elements to the side.
-Not one of her weakest subjects...SHE HAD scraped an Exceeds Expectations in the subject...
Reads awkwardly as you have "subject" back to back. "In the subject" could be scrapped, so you'd have something like "She HAD scraped an Exceeds Expectations, and she was proud of that."
-Practically every Pureblood and a lot of halfblood family..."
Should be "families.' Also, I don't know if this is intentional, but it's notable that "Pureblood" is capitalized, while "halfblood" isn't.
-"...and left the Wizarding World...to stir up the wizarding world..."
You're inconsistent with capitalization here.
-Above points aside, overall, this is...okay. The main issue is that the oneshot's very passive - very little happens in the oneshot itself, rather, it summizes things that have already happened. It could be argued that passive writing does fit Cho in that she's a passive character in a lot of ways, and I can also concede that depicting events might tread on ChoCedric's turf, so to speak. Still, that doesn't change the execution of the oneshot itself. There's some decent characterization of Cho that works (e.g. her Defence Against the Dark Arts not being that good), but still, she doesn't do much in the oneshot itself.