for Once Upon a Wish5/18 c7 
3maskedkeeper
What I dont get, didn't the dursleys get confundesd to forget them and think harry ran away. But not we have them reporting that the old man kidnapped harry, meaning he didn't forget.
3maskedkeeperWhat I dont get, didn't the dursleys get confundesd to forget them and think harry ran away. But not we have them reporting that the old man kidnapped harry, meaning he didn't forget.
5/16 c1 Natalie4q6
I stumbled upon Storio (storioai dot com) yesterday — really interesting. You can build interactive novels with decision points and art scenes. Definitely worth a try if you're into writing!
I stumbled upon Storio (storioai dot com) yesterday — really interesting. You can build interactive novels with decision points and art scenes. Definitely worth a try if you're into writing!
5/12 c23 blcoachmac
Dumbledore is going to be a pain in the ass before long, and Tom is gonna make an appearance! But, I think Malfoy will do something stupid first!
Dumbledore is going to be a pain in the ass before long, and Tom is gonna make an appearance! But, I think Malfoy will do something stupid first!
5/11 c12 blcoachmac
If Harry is the MOD, he sure could make “Life” a living hell for Tom and his suck up’s!
If Harry is the MOD, he sure could make “Life” a living hell for Tom and his suck up’s!
4/12 c26 1purplevictory
I realize I should clarify my previous comment about some of the words being clunky. It doesn’t happen often, it’s just that once in a while a word is used when a better one would have fit, or a wrong word is used altogether. It is not enough to detract from the story. In fact, overall, this turned out to be a mighty fine read. So don’t let my comment be upsetting in any way, it was made in the spirit of giving you some feedback if you ever want to comb over the story for edits.
1purplevictoryI realize I should clarify my previous comment about some of the words being clunky. It doesn’t happen often, it’s just that once in a while a word is used when a better one would have fit, or a wrong word is used altogether. It is not enough to detract from the story. In fact, overall, this turned out to be a mighty fine read. So don’t let my comment be upsetting in any way, it was made in the spirit of giving you some feedback if you ever want to comb over the story for edits.
4/12 c25 purplevictory
Great story. Some clunkiness with word choices, although, you mentioned using voice to text software, so perhaps some of the wrong words are a result of that.
My only qualm is the absolute filth that Harry constantly seems to eat. Orange soda and pizza seemingly every day and in this chapter you described it as loaded with cheese and meat. That is a very American cuisine (I admit this as an American myself), but even American teens wouldn’t consume that every day. Even if he’s active enough to keep his weight down, he’s got to be rotting his teeth, sporting greasy pimply skin, and ruining his insides.
Great story. Some clunkiness with word choices, although, you mentioned using voice to text software, so perhaps some of the wrong words are a result of that.
My only qualm is the absolute filth that Harry constantly seems to eat. Orange soda and pizza seemingly every day and in this chapter you described it as loaded with cheese and meat. That is a very American cuisine (I admit this as an American myself), but even American teens wouldn’t consume that every day. Even if he’s active enough to keep his weight down, he’s got to be rotting his teeth, sporting greasy pimply skin, and ruining his insides.
4/1 c3 Vee
Harry's memory at Petunia shutting the door so he couldn't hear stories was awful.
Harry's memory at Petunia shutting the door so he couldn't hear stories was awful.
3/22 c26 Guest
Very good story.
Very good story.