for Red Riot5/18 c11 Orcadius
This was sublime in every way—the plot twists, the implications—it all left me overwhelmed. My skin crawls just rereading it, and I think I just reached another reading milestone. The scene of Matsu killing Rei and how he revived her will be etched in my head for the rest of my life. Absolute cinema. This is literature. Whatever you want, I just had the best read of my life, and I'm looking forward to so much more. Thanks for the work, it was beautiful.
This was sublime in every way—the plot twists, the implications—it all left me overwhelmed. My skin crawls just rereading it, and I think I just reached another reading milestone. The scene of Matsu killing Rei and how he revived her will be etched in my head for the rest of my life. Absolute cinema. This is literature. Whatever you want, I just had the best read of my life, and I'm looking forward to so much more. Thanks for the work, it was beautiful.
5/4 c20 Guest
"If that seemed like bullshit, that was because it was. Chakra was bullshit ninja magic and if you really put your mind to it and had half an idea what to try, you could achieve the impossible."
I'm sorry, but that's a huge copout. It's bullshit because if you could invent chakra forcefield in a month after some Skyrim grinding your chakra control stat to a mid level, then the entire world would be built around ninja using Halo shielding. You could have had this be a natural evolution of his chakra string muscle fiber enhancement stuff into a Kevlar type chakra-weave-padding, building on something established. As is, it feels like he can just ass-pull new powers because chakra.
I feel like you want to have your protagonist be a genius who can create and learn techniques, but the presentation makes it seem so easy that it doesn't make him look good, it makes the rest of the ninja in the setting look utterly incompetent for not doing the same. If chakra strings are so useful and easy, why are they a Suna specialty? If you can copy jutsu just by watching the hand signs, then why is sharringan even impressive? How do villages and non kekkei genkai clans have secret jutsu when any idiot can copy them after seeing them once?
"If that seemed like bullshit, that was because it was. Chakra was bullshit ninja magic and if you really put your mind to it and had half an idea what to try, you could achieve the impossible."
I'm sorry, but that's a huge copout. It's bullshit because if you could invent chakra forcefield in a month after some Skyrim grinding your chakra control stat to a mid level, then the entire world would be built around ninja using Halo shielding. You could have had this be a natural evolution of his chakra string muscle fiber enhancement stuff into a Kevlar type chakra-weave-padding, building on something established. As is, it feels like he can just ass-pull new powers because chakra.
I feel like you want to have your protagonist be a genius who can create and learn techniques, but the presentation makes it seem so easy that it doesn't make him look good, it makes the rest of the ninja in the setting look utterly incompetent for not doing the same. If chakra strings are so useful and easy, why are they a Suna specialty? If you can copy jutsu just by watching the hand signs, then why is sharringan even impressive? How do villages and non kekkei genkai clans have secret jutsu when any idiot can copy them after seeing them once?
5/4 c20 tom hardy
cheers for the update
cheers for the update
5/4 c20 GenuineReader
This chapter was genuinely refreshing, wouldn’t mind to see more of these missions that showcase Matsu ingenuity and subtlety. Fantastic Chapter!
This chapter was genuinely refreshing, wouldn’t mind to see more of these missions that showcase Matsu ingenuity and subtlety. Fantastic Chapter!
5/4 c20 Tony McNucklz
Who knows, maybe he can recruit the Uzumaki as his own shinobi. They're little more than bandits now, what if the idea of taking over Kiri without conquering it appeals to them? they are shinobi after all. Might be that getting revenge by having an Uzumaki become Mizukage and making a new home for them could appeal. And after all, there's no way becoming Mizukage doesn't come with killing some of the high level kiri nin to get the post, and more to keep control while trying to drag Kiri to a better way. And it starts with killing Hideo.
Who knows, maybe he can recruit the Uzumaki as his own shinobi. They're little more than bandits now, what if the idea of taking over Kiri without conquering it appeals to them? they are shinobi after all. Might be that getting revenge by having an Uzumaki become Mizukage and making a new home for them could appeal. And after all, there's no way becoming Mizukage doesn't come with killing some of the high level kiri nin to get the post, and more to keep control while trying to drag Kiri to a better way. And it starts with killing Hideo.
5/4 c20 
3coldblue2015
This chapter was much better than previous one!
The grammer/writing was very easy to read with few mistakes, not that I do any better given my previous reviews.
Matsu, the Red Devil, Chunin:
I have to admit, I do like the Theme of Matsu secretly training and getting stronger. His exercises in Rasengan are going okay with the first phase. Not to mention the Body-Hardening Hidden Jutsu when from Physcial Manipulation to a Charka Manipulation, even using Comic Book characters from "DC" such as Superman. Honestly, I like the creativity there and kind of hope from "DC" and "Marvel", so ideas from other Anime/Manga series such as "My Hero Academia"...It is interesting that Hideo Munashi was using Matsu as bait for his possible Blacksmith Target, which happens to be a Uzumaki. But the issue I have is where Jonin Akiko is, because Matsu could not detect her. Other than that, reading Yumi interaction with Matsu interesting, showing Matsu ability to teach and pass on Gesiha techniques and aiming for Yumi to enter into power via a Lord as a Lady or Mistress. Himeko Kaguya probably like beating up Bandits, but also being the Oni that Lady Yumi 'tamed'. Sharkbait is using Ninjutsu such as Water Whip with Matsu as means of Physical Labor for obstacles, but also gathering intelligence and understanding politics.
Yumi:
I did not really care at first, but I am starting to get interested in her. Not only is Matsu trying to expand/create Rei Spy Network, but he might actually have some potential Noble/Political Connections in the Land of Vegetables if Yumi marrying into Nobility or becomes Mistress to a Noble. Going for the Heir of the Daimyo is ambitious, but not unheard of. It also help Yumi is learning and adapting from Matsu teaching to understanding of Economics and people potential Agenda's for her.
The Uzumaki Blacksmith and possibly Fuinjutsu Master that is Hideoshi Munashi target:
...This will not end well. This unknown Uzumaki refer to Matsu in familiarity to someone and it seems like a Lord of Uzumaki Clan, which might mean Uzikage was possible Matsu very own Grandfather but we do not know what happen to Matsu father. It is really seems that this Uzumaki seems to adopted Samurai Armor and seems to be fashion of a Samurai or the Shinobi during the Warring States error before the Five Major Hidden Villages were founded. Most likely, Kiri wants to kill this Uzumaki Blacksmith or capture him to make more Weapons similar or more dangerous Swords like the Seven Swords, which seems to involve Fuinjutsu to bestow on unique/deadly attacks.
Matsu pleasing the Clients and succeeding on his Team Mission:
Honestly, Matsu should be in a Marketing and Advertising Department. If or when Kiri figures out to turn Kiri into a Vacation Destination/Tropical Tourist Resort, they should have Matsu sell to Merchants and Nobles to come to Kiri. It is rather interesting what Yumi and Madame Yubaba satisfication on this Mission will be...It would not surprise me if Madame Yubaba actually request Matsu for Mission, only to help train her Geisha's to become better that their profession and this could be a C Rank Mission in the future. Possibly even other Geisha's or Hostess Inn's would higher Matsu in the Land of Vegitables and neighboring Nations.
Questions
1) Where is Jonin Akiko on this Mission, if Matsu can Sense when Seven Swordsmen of Kir Hideon Munashi nearby them during their Mission?
2) Can we expect Matsu to figure to make Sub-Elemental mixing his Charka Affinity to create his own Ice, Mud, Boil, or Bubble Jutsu's?
3) Are we going to have Matsu give Himeko Kaguya and Sharkbait/Kenta any types to improve their skills?
4) Will Matsu signature Melee Weapons be Priest Staff and potential Katanna/Sword?
5) Could Matsu recreate some Jutsu's from "Naruto" like the Fire Temple Priest ultimate jutsu, 'Welcoming Approach: Thousand-Arm Murder'?
6) Will Matsu create a Charka Construction based on Oni-Demons that have Six Arms and Third Eye open?
7) Have you thought of Spirits appearing to or encounter Matsu, but it like Studio Ghibili spirits like "Princess Monoke" called Kodama?
Suggestions
1) Complete lack of absence either implies she much better in Stealth than most Jonin and some Seven Swordsmen of the Mist or that she on a separate/secret Mission. Either way, I hope you do not forget Jonin Akiko.
2) Why not? It cool and it shows Matsu insane potential with not only Medical Jutsu's, but also in Ninjutsu. It would be interesting if Matsu could use Boil Release Jutsu's or the political implication if Matsu can use Ice Jutsu and the Yuki Clan Kekkai Genkai is Ice Release. It just something to consider. "Boruto" has Sasuke using his version of Ice Jutsu that that one time.
3) Yeah, I can read that. Matsu would probably suggest Himeko Kaguya use Elemental Charka Control to make her Stabbing and Slashing more dangerous in battle. Sharkbait/Kenta could learn actual Charka Control from Matsu to improve his Ninjutsu.
4) That not bad. Kind of think Matsu should use a Priest Staff and a Sword of somekind/type. Just to show Matsu having Priest Staff during times of Negotiation/Diplomacy/Peace and with the Sword it signal Aggression/War/Killing intent. Just somethng to throw off Matsu enemies and bounty hunters when they read Matsu go-to Weapons.
5) God that would be assume! I think Matsu could recreate the Jutsu. Sure it is in "Naruto Shippudden" Cannon, but such cool Jutsu with Charka Construction to fight with. Matsu Charka Control is Insane and if he can create Rasengan, that really it more like Matsu just putting image to realty. It also would catch people off guard.
6) That another way to go. Matsu Charka Construction could take the shape of Oni-Demon of Asura Bhuddism cycle. It just depends what weapons you want this Oni-Demon to wield or develop special abilities with those weapons on a Charka Construction. It really just would be something to consider and a bit unique in stories that I have not read lately to use such a idea.
7) That would be cute and establish to Matsu that Spirits do exist...I just felt Matsu seeing Spirits is something to hint at, like the Sage of Six Paths or Shibai Otsutsuki could have called Matsu soul to this Dimension or something. It just a idea to add a interesting Spiritual element to the story.
Keep up the good work, stay safe, and stay healthy!
3coldblue2015This chapter was much better than previous one!
The grammer/writing was very easy to read with few mistakes, not that I do any better given my previous reviews.
Matsu, the Red Devil, Chunin:
I have to admit, I do like the Theme of Matsu secretly training and getting stronger. His exercises in Rasengan are going okay with the first phase. Not to mention the Body-Hardening Hidden Jutsu when from Physcial Manipulation to a Charka Manipulation, even using Comic Book characters from "DC" such as Superman. Honestly, I like the creativity there and kind of hope from "DC" and "Marvel", so ideas from other Anime/Manga series such as "My Hero Academia"...It is interesting that Hideo Munashi was using Matsu as bait for his possible Blacksmith Target, which happens to be a Uzumaki. But the issue I have is where Jonin Akiko is, because Matsu could not detect her. Other than that, reading Yumi interaction with Matsu interesting, showing Matsu ability to teach and pass on Gesiha techniques and aiming for Yumi to enter into power via a Lord as a Lady or Mistress. Himeko Kaguya probably like beating up Bandits, but also being the Oni that Lady Yumi 'tamed'. Sharkbait is using Ninjutsu such as Water Whip with Matsu as means of Physical Labor for obstacles, but also gathering intelligence and understanding politics.
Yumi:
I did not really care at first, but I am starting to get interested in her. Not only is Matsu trying to expand/create Rei Spy Network, but he might actually have some potential Noble/Political Connections in the Land of Vegetables if Yumi marrying into Nobility or becomes Mistress to a Noble. Going for the Heir of the Daimyo is ambitious, but not unheard of. It also help Yumi is learning and adapting from Matsu teaching to understanding of Economics and people potential Agenda's for her.
The Uzumaki Blacksmith and possibly Fuinjutsu Master that is Hideoshi Munashi target:
...This will not end well. This unknown Uzumaki refer to Matsu in familiarity to someone and it seems like a Lord of Uzumaki Clan, which might mean Uzikage was possible Matsu very own Grandfather but we do not know what happen to Matsu father. It is really seems that this Uzumaki seems to adopted Samurai Armor and seems to be fashion of a Samurai or the Shinobi during the Warring States error before the Five Major Hidden Villages were founded. Most likely, Kiri wants to kill this Uzumaki Blacksmith or capture him to make more Weapons similar or more dangerous Swords like the Seven Swords, which seems to involve Fuinjutsu to bestow on unique/deadly attacks.
Matsu pleasing the Clients and succeeding on his Team Mission:
Honestly, Matsu should be in a Marketing and Advertising Department. If or when Kiri figures out to turn Kiri into a Vacation Destination/Tropical Tourist Resort, they should have Matsu sell to Merchants and Nobles to come to Kiri. It is rather interesting what Yumi and Madame Yubaba satisfication on this Mission will be...It would not surprise me if Madame Yubaba actually request Matsu for Mission, only to help train her Geisha's to become better that their profession and this could be a C Rank Mission in the future. Possibly even other Geisha's or Hostess Inn's would higher Matsu in the Land of Vegitables and neighboring Nations.
Questions
1) Where is Jonin Akiko on this Mission, if Matsu can Sense when Seven Swordsmen of Kir Hideon Munashi nearby them during their Mission?
2) Can we expect Matsu to figure to make Sub-Elemental mixing his Charka Affinity to create his own Ice, Mud, Boil, or Bubble Jutsu's?
3) Are we going to have Matsu give Himeko Kaguya and Sharkbait/Kenta any types to improve their skills?
4) Will Matsu signature Melee Weapons be Priest Staff and potential Katanna/Sword?
5) Could Matsu recreate some Jutsu's from "Naruto" like the Fire Temple Priest ultimate jutsu, 'Welcoming Approach: Thousand-Arm Murder'?
6) Will Matsu create a Charka Construction based on Oni-Demons that have Six Arms and Third Eye open?
7) Have you thought of Spirits appearing to or encounter Matsu, but it like Studio Ghibili spirits like "Princess Monoke" called Kodama?
Suggestions
1) Complete lack of absence either implies she much better in Stealth than most Jonin and some Seven Swordsmen of the Mist or that she on a separate/secret Mission. Either way, I hope you do not forget Jonin Akiko.
2) Why not? It cool and it shows Matsu insane potential with not only Medical Jutsu's, but also in Ninjutsu. It would be interesting if Matsu could use Boil Release Jutsu's or the political implication if Matsu can use Ice Jutsu and the Yuki Clan Kekkai Genkai is Ice Release. It just something to consider. "Boruto" has Sasuke using his version of Ice Jutsu that that one time.
3) Yeah, I can read that. Matsu would probably suggest Himeko Kaguya use Elemental Charka Control to make her Stabbing and Slashing more dangerous in battle. Sharkbait/Kenta could learn actual Charka Control from Matsu to improve his Ninjutsu.
4) That not bad. Kind of think Matsu should use a Priest Staff and a Sword of somekind/type. Just to show Matsu having Priest Staff during times of Negotiation/Diplomacy/Peace and with the Sword it signal Aggression/War/Killing intent. Just somethng to throw off Matsu enemies and bounty hunters when they read Matsu go-to Weapons.
5) God that would be assume! I think Matsu could recreate the Jutsu. Sure it is in "Naruto Shippudden" Cannon, but such cool Jutsu with Charka Construction to fight with. Matsu Charka Control is Insane and if he can create Rasengan, that really it more like Matsu just putting image to realty. It also would catch people off guard.
6) That another way to go. Matsu Charka Construction could take the shape of Oni-Demon of Asura Bhuddism cycle. It just depends what weapons you want this Oni-Demon to wield or develop special abilities with those weapons on a Charka Construction. It really just would be something to consider and a bit unique in stories that I have not read lately to use such a idea.
7) That would be cute and establish to Matsu that Spirits do exist...I just felt Matsu seeing Spirits is something to hint at, like the Sage of Six Paths or Shibai Otsutsuki could have called Matsu soul to this Dimension or something. It just a idea to add a interesting Spiritual element to the story.
Keep up the good work, stay safe, and stay healthy!
4/29 c2 Guest
What a shitty story. Total waste of time. You promise a character who is a good person from modern world. Started with 'I will find my own in this kill or be killed world' to 'killing people left and right with total disregard for life'. Not to mention demonizing Konoha. Total bullshit, this is not a kind OC who sticks to his principles. He doesn't even have a goal. The only goal is get strong so he can kill more people.
What a shitty story. Total waste of time. You promise a character who is a good person from modern world. Started with 'I will find my own in this kill or be killed world' to 'killing people left and right with total disregard for life'. Not to mention demonizing Konoha. Total bullshit, this is not a kind OC who sticks to his principles. He doesn't even have a goal. The only goal is get strong so he can kill more people.