
11/4/2024 c1 ZoyeZest
Heyya buddy, I hope you are doing good,
I just read your story Her Friend In The Shadows and I loved it! I'm thinking about adapting it into my comic style and would be super excited to do so, and it will be a commission work, I think you'll really like the results, and maybe you'll even want to share it. by the way, I'm a digital artist open for commissions. I do all sorts of artwork and have some spots available. My rates are fair, and I always deliver high-quality work. If you're interested, let's talk more
My Discord: baran59354
My Twitter : ZoyeZest
My intsa : baran59354
Hope to hear from you soon!
Heyya buddy, I hope you are doing good,
I just read your story Her Friend In The Shadows and I loved it! I'm thinking about adapting it into my comic style and would be super excited to do so, and it will be a commission work, I think you'll really like the results, and maybe you'll even want to share it. by the way, I'm a digital artist open for commissions. I do all sorts of artwork and have some spots available. My rates are fair, and I always deliver high-quality work. If you're interested, let's talk more
My Discord: baran59354
My Twitter : ZoyeZest
My intsa : baran59354
Hope to hear from you soon!
10/4/2024 c5 naedinefebruary2.0
Wassup,
Having read your absorbing Story, Her Friend In The Shadows, I found many things to admire in the weighty narrative and imaginative flair. Your storytelling is truly remarkable, and I really do think that it can reach a wider audience as a comic. I'm a commission artist with broad experience in converting literature into striking comic format. I will be proud to reformat your story into this dynamic format. Let me just take you through some of my portfolio samples of previous works. Your literature is a masterpiece, and as goes the proverb, A comic can capture the essence of the story, so that would add more power to your literature. I look forward to the possibility of working together. As I am open to commission I'd really appreciate that if you could commission me for this. Do message me on discord or twitter with your story name.
Here is my Contacts
discord : naedinefebruary
Twitter : naedinefebruary
Hope to hear back from you soon.
Wassup,
Having read your absorbing Story, Her Friend In The Shadows, I found many things to admire in the weighty narrative and imaginative flair. Your storytelling is truly remarkable, and I really do think that it can reach a wider audience as a comic. I'm a commission artist with broad experience in converting literature into striking comic format. I will be proud to reformat your story into this dynamic format. Let me just take you through some of my portfolio samples of previous works. Your literature is a masterpiece, and as goes the proverb, A comic can capture the essence of the story, so that would add more power to your literature. I look forward to the possibility of working together. As I am open to commission I'd really appreciate that if you could commission me for this. Do message me on discord or twitter with your story name.
Here is my Contacts
discord : naedinefebruary
Twitter : naedinefebruary
Hope to hear back from you soon.
5/3/2024 c5 Warling Ascends
Please please please do a continuation of this. Its such an awesome premise setting up a morally grey Ruby and even an anti-hero Torchwick. Stop being so hard on yourself, you are a better writer than you think and the characters weren't actually all that OOC at all. Some OOC-ness is expected (Within reason) when putting characters in positions they weren't in in canon. The ending you gave it is okay, but there's so much potential for a bigger better story here. Its okay if you don't want to, but I do hope you do return to expand on this someday.
Please please please do a continuation of this. Its such an awesome premise setting up a morally grey Ruby and even an anti-hero Torchwick. Stop being so hard on yourself, you are a better writer than you think and the characters weren't actually all that OOC at all. Some OOC-ness is expected (Within reason) when putting characters in positions they weren't in in canon. The ending you gave it is okay, but there's so much potential for a bigger better story here. Its okay if you don't want to, but I do hope you do return to expand on this someday.
4/8/2024 c5 Guest
So good, kinda hoping for more... Great story btw!
So good, kinda hoping for more... Great story btw!
2/19/2024 c5 Hamza Khan
When is next chapter
When is next chapter
2/17/2024 c5 Juan Sebastian Borrero
you know the fact that this set up could lead to ruby meeting neo the Salem trio and maybe adam is amazing
good job
you know the fact that this set up could lead to ruby meeting neo the Salem trio and maybe adam is amazing
good job
2/14/2024 c5 Baron Von Q-Tip
I enjoyed this for the most part. The writing quality is better than you give yourself credit for and the fight scenes were fairly good too. You were right about some OOC-ness, but it is minor and within tolerable bounds with one blaring exception, an exception that makes well over half of chapter 4 totally redundant.
The biggest offender in the OOC department was Ruby getting wracked with guilt over how things went. Ruby Rose would NEVER get hung up on stuff like that because she always believes every choice she makes is right and thinks she can do no wrong. Self-reflection is just not something she would ever do with the only exception being angsting over being a better team leader. As Ozpin says, she's a simple soul. I respect your effort to add a little depth to her, but it just fundamentally does not work with her character.
Honestly you could easily scrap most of chapter 4, specifically anything about Ruby's guilty feelings, the only things worth keeping is the end part with Ruby pondering Roman's motives and his then calling her. Well you could also keep the Ruby Yang, Junior and Glynda bit since it was pretty funny, even if it is irrelevant to the plot itself.
My biggest critique to your pros is your sentences come off a little rigid and clipped at times in that way writers do when they're trying to keep the word count down. Its not bad, but don't be afraid to get a little wordy when you have to, brevity is nice in controlled doses, but too much brevity leaves jagged edges in the reading experience, if that makes sense.
Overall, I enjoyed it. even if I might've came off a bit harsh. My favorites were chapters 1 and 5. though 2 and 3 were entertaining too but 1 and 5 take the cake. I liked how you write Ruby and Roman conversing, they play off eachother surprisingly well. It was a lot of fun and the banter made me laugh several times and didn't overstay its welcome or get too repetitive. My only disagreement is Roman deciding not to attempt to blackmail Ruby, I think he would try to and Ruby would just give some speech about not bowing to villains, but that's just me. You say chapter 5 is your worst, but I say its the best.
As an aside, I think you made the right call ending it here. You're ideas for a continuation, as you yourself said, are a complex mess and wouldn't have worked. I will say that the idea of Roman building a criminal empire in Vale and then just ditching it because running it was boring compared to the fun of stealing things in person, yep, that is genuinely hilarious. But I doubt that empire would stay loyal to him after he hands the reigns over to other people to run for him without any oversight. If anything his former underlings would try to have him killed.
I enjoyed this for the most part. The writing quality is better than you give yourself credit for and the fight scenes were fairly good too. You were right about some OOC-ness, but it is minor and within tolerable bounds with one blaring exception, an exception that makes well over half of chapter 4 totally redundant.
The biggest offender in the OOC department was Ruby getting wracked with guilt over how things went. Ruby Rose would NEVER get hung up on stuff like that because she always believes every choice she makes is right and thinks she can do no wrong. Self-reflection is just not something she would ever do with the only exception being angsting over being a better team leader. As Ozpin says, she's a simple soul. I respect your effort to add a little depth to her, but it just fundamentally does not work with her character.
Honestly you could easily scrap most of chapter 4, specifically anything about Ruby's guilty feelings, the only things worth keeping is the end part with Ruby pondering Roman's motives and his then calling her. Well you could also keep the Ruby Yang, Junior and Glynda bit since it was pretty funny, even if it is irrelevant to the plot itself.
My biggest critique to your pros is your sentences come off a little rigid and clipped at times in that way writers do when they're trying to keep the word count down. Its not bad, but don't be afraid to get a little wordy when you have to, brevity is nice in controlled doses, but too much brevity leaves jagged edges in the reading experience, if that makes sense.
Overall, I enjoyed it. even if I might've came off a bit harsh. My favorites were chapters 1 and 5. though 2 and 3 were entertaining too but 1 and 5 take the cake. I liked how you write Ruby and Roman conversing, they play off eachother surprisingly well. It was a lot of fun and the banter made me laugh several times and didn't overstay its welcome or get too repetitive. My only disagreement is Roman deciding not to attempt to blackmail Ruby, I think he would try to and Ruby would just give some speech about not bowing to villains, but that's just me. You say chapter 5 is your worst, but I say its the best.
As an aside, I think you made the right call ending it here. You're ideas for a continuation, as you yourself said, are a complex mess and wouldn't have worked. I will say that the idea of Roman building a criminal empire in Vale and then just ditching it because running it was boring compared to the fun of stealing things in person, yep, that is genuinely hilarious. But I doubt that empire would stay loyal to him after he hands the reigns over to other people to run for him without any oversight. If anything his former underlings would try to have him killed.
2/4/2024 c5 KHARAKI TAKAN
Heh neat Tekken. Yoshimitsu was my favourite back in the day.
Amusing conversation with Ruby and Roman.
Neat ending.
Got to remember Roman is mostly a thief. I can't imagine him as the leader of a syndicate or anything. He's in it for himself and being the top dog would be more of a hindrance to himself. Also have to take into account the World, which is something the writers didn't truly do.
Cinder probably just offered Roman a deal and he thought it was a good one. She also just might have used brute force.
The funny thing here is you actually gave far more thought to this than most actually. Your idea makes far more sense than you probably realize because we only ever got bare bones to this sort of thing. I highly doubt the writers know how their own universe works.
Heh neat Tekken. Yoshimitsu was my favourite back in the day.
Amusing conversation with Ruby and Roman.
Neat ending.
Got to remember Roman is mostly a thief. I can't imagine him as the leader of a syndicate or anything. He's in it for himself and being the top dog would be more of a hindrance to himself. Also have to take into account the World, which is something the writers didn't truly do.
Cinder probably just offered Roman a deal and he thought it was a good one. She also just might have used brute force.
The funny thing here is you actually gave far more thought to this than most actually. Your idea makes far more sense than you probably realize because we only ever got bare bones to this sort of thing. I highly doubt the writers know how their own universe works.
1/28/2024 c4 KHARAKI TAKAN
Highly doubt Ruby has actually given Raven any true thought.
That is where the OOC'ness really came into play.
She might not be her biggest fan - but seeing as Raven is never really brought up it is more than likely Ruby just doesn't give her a thought.
People focus far too much on Raven's characters flaws and completely forget about Yang's.
It's actually kind of funny because Raven is probably the most caring person we have seen in RWBY, compared to Yang who is probably the most selfish out of the main cast.
Glynda also acted completely unprofessional which really doesn't seem like her.
Trying to force humour doesn't work.
Interesting chapter. You were right the chapter just seemed to drag on.
The car seen while amusing doesn't actually add anything to the story.
Also couldn't help but feel some of the chapter just repeated itself plot-wise.
Highly doubt Ruby has actually given Raven any true thought.
That is where the OOC'ness really came into play.
She might not be her biggest fan - but seeing as Raven is never really brought up it is more than likely Ruby just doesn't give her a thought.
People focus far too much on Raven's characters flaws and completely forget about Yang's.
It's actually kind of funny because Raven is probably the most caring person we have seen in RWBY, compared to Yang who is probably the most selfish out of the main cast.
Glynda also acted completely unprofessional which really doesn't seem like her.
Trying to force humour doesn't work.
Interesting chapter. You were right the chapter just seemed to drag on.
The car seen while amusing doesn't actually add anything to the story.
Also couldn't help but feel some of the chapter just repeated itself plot-wise.
12/29/2023 c3 KHARAKI TAKAN
Neat chapter.
Shame it isn't going to be a full story.
You are a far greater writer than many I have seen.
Any plan is better than no plan.
Neat chapter.
Shame it isn't going to be a full story.
You are a far greater writer than many I have seen.
Any plan is better than no plan.
12/28/2023 c3 Demonic-creeper
Ah yes, the 30-rnd .50BMG magazine that can fit into anyones pockets. Truly a staple of modern huntress equipment
Ah yes, the 30-rnd .50BMG magazine that can fit into anyones pockets. Truly a staple of modern huntress equipment
12/8/2023 c2 KHARAKI TAKAN
The part of the Weapons Weekly made no sense. Could cut it from the chapter and you lose nothing.
Talking about the part where she mentions it would be illegal and whatnot. Offers and adds nothing.
Neat chapter.
Not even sure what it is you were truly going for. While it is a dick move it isn't anything illegal about it.
The part of the Weapons Weekly made no sense. Could cut it from the chapter and you lose nothing.
Talking about the part where she mentions it would be illegal and whatnot. Offers and adds nothing.
Neat chapter.
Not even sure what it is you were truly going for. While it is a dick move it isn't anything illegal about it.
11/15/2023 c1
8OCansino
i want more. I just thought that Roman could call Ruby about Blake been at the docks. An she willing to say that Roman was. a spy to protect him.

i want more. I just thought that Roman could call Ruby about Blake been at the docks. An she willing to say that Roman was. a spy to protect him.
11/15/2023 c1 KHARAKI TAKAN
A sweet read.
I have actually seen that story plot point before. Roman trying to get out of Cinder's grasp and uses Ruby to do so. Never seen it set up like this though.
Also makes sense for him as a character.
A sweet read.
I have actually seen that story plot point before. Roman trying to get out of Cinder's grasp and uses Ruby to do so. Never seen it set up like this though.
Also makes sense for him as a character.