for Ascension of the Red Princess17h c60 
5Grizzly Writings
Always happy to see more FoZ characters, and I'm glad Louise isn't like canon. I get that you're supposed to turn your brain off partially for their relationship, but I couldn't even do that. The biggest reason why was because I never saw a reason for them to be in a relationship in the first place. Saito thought Louise was cute, and maybe respected her desire to always try her best, but that was it.
I do have my own FoZ fic on this site if you're interested, mostly from Tabitha's point of view and her OC familiar. About 1,000 words or so chapters. It's mostly canon as far as setting and characters go, with one change to Tabitha's character, and then goes through changes as the OC interacts with others.
5Grizzly WritingsAlways happy to see more FoZ characters, and I'm glad Louise isn't like canon. I get that you're supposed to turn your brain off partially for their relationship, but I couldn't even do that. The biggest reason why was because I never saw a reason for them to be in a relationship in the first place. Saito thought Louise was cute, and maybe respected her desire to always try her best, but that was it.
I do have my own FoZ fic on this site if you're interested, mostly from Tabitha's point of view and her OC familiar. About 1,000 words or so chapters. It's mostly canon as far as setting and characters go, with one change to Tabitha's character, and then goes through changes as the OC interacts with others.
3/25 c60 3RonaldM40196867
There are always new challenges.
A mirror demon sounds interesting.
Glad you’re back.
3RonaldM40196867There are always new challenges.
A mirror demon sounds interesting.
Glad you’re back.
3/23 c59 TVTropesPapermania
This chapter has been great, Qinlongfei. However, there is one generalized problem I have with chapter 59. But besides my generalized problem, I really do think that this is probably one of the best chapters you have released for Ascension of the Red Princess.
As such, I'd like to rate this a 8/10 for it's excellent character moments, and the major reveals Naofumi had about his past with Maximilian.
Especially with the ending. It has so much hype with the context you gave me out earlier, I now feel excited to see these new character factions take action within the story. Most notably with Yuri Neuer and Noriko Tatsumiya.
*****
On a little bit of a sidenote, is truly being annoying. Anytime I try to read a recent chapters, it always takes a few minutes to load, and always makes the selected chapter be unavailable for a period of time. If only could improve its problems when it comes towards being a functioning website for reading.
*****
The Primary Complaint: Ren's Omake Perspectives are very boring. Ren Amake's Omake have very little context to extract what exactly is so important with Ren's party. Ren's omake is extremely detached from the plot, that they end up feeling like a jumbled up side-quest lacking a cohesive overarching plot.
With this sole Complaint, Qinlongfei, I just want to say that the Ren Amaki Omake's feel like a detriment to the main story. The omakes exist to provide what Ren's perspective on Malach is like, but in the end. These omakes suffer very horribly in trying to tell a cohesive story I can understand.
So I'll just list them down in bullet points for why the Ren Omakes are not enjoyable and pale in comparison to the main plot for both the main characters and side characters.
1. They are extremely disconnected:
In this first flaw, the problem i have with the Omakes is that it is extremely disconnected. The Ren stuff is so out-of-place from the main plot, they just end up feeling like an aftermath. Ren and his party are not struggling. Ren and his party just feel like they are randomly walking all-over Malach. And each time Ren's party reappear, they come back at locations where a whole-lotta-time has past. Making their struggles to adjust feel meaningless, because their time in Malach just sporadically make big journey jumps.
It's like a racer prepares to run at the beginning at the starting line in chapter 1. But then in chapter 2, the racer is suddenly at the finish line, and they are just retelling the aftermath of their survival, without showing proper context.
2. These Ren Omakes are extremely sporadic and appear outta-nowhere:
This is yet another problem of why I have a distaste on the Ren Amaki Omakes. They just randomly appear in chapters, thereby making their existence feel extremely disjointed from the main plot.
Because the Omakes have such sporadic appearances. I can't keep up with the lore and details the omakes are trying to tell me.
For one moment, an omake makes a big shocking reveal of why the viewer should care about "EXPOSITION X", but then in the next omake, the story shifts into "EXPOSITION Y" being very important. And "Exposition X" and the previous character moments are just suddenly no longer relevant in the long run.
With that, I find it difficult to comprehend that Ren's omake has an overarching plot. It just feels like a bunch of unrelated mini-stories all jumbled up together in random events, thereby weakening a cohesive plot for readers to grasp. Overall, the Ren Omakes feel like something that's reserved for a background moment, while the main POVS of both the side characters and main characters feel like the main feast for the actual plot to be progressed.
3. Ren Amaki's Omakes have very little context provided within them.
This is a problem that has been persisting, because of how the omakes were structured. Because in every few chapters, a random Omake is going to appear.
The omakes usually only contain 20% of the actual chapter's content. So as a consequence, the Omakes end up being so short, it's to the point I could barely comprehend why Ren and his party have to know so much about Malach.
Yeah sure, I know the real names of what Malach's Heroes are like. But i don't see why they are so important, when the entire Omake's existence is just spewing out random exposition that do not build-off the previous omakes. As such, it leaves a disjointed overarching plot for how the omakes are going to conclude itself into reuniting with the main plot.
To summarize my point of dislike on these omakes. It's that I find them to be like poorly written filler episodes. Because while the filler omakes provide some supplementary material for what Ren's group is doing. It's ultimately a sporadic story event that is not impacting the main antagonist and plot that the main story is trying to focus.
******
Enjoyable Moment 1: Tairou Sato actually is being reasonable sane in his interactions.
Tairou Sato was really cool here. Yes, Tairou is still acting as the overzealous fanboy who spews out unrelated Shield Hero theories. But unlike his previous appearances, Tairou is actually being competent.
His last lines were truly a sight to behold. Because despite how delusional he may be as a Shield Hero fan. Deep down, he has the heart to be a great hero when his priorities are set straight.
Extra points should also be given out to Naofumi. Because even Naofumi was able to take notice of Tairou's rehabilitated behavior as a more focused hero that is worth mentioning as an achievement.
*****
Enjoyable Moment 2: Im interested in the direction where more of Sadina’s problems are revealed.
Even though Sadina's appearance in this chapter is short. I still enjoyed her rampage causing the other characters to look more into why Sadina is so crazy for Naofumi's death. It helps bring excitement for the time Sadina does spill out her full problems, and the steps she needs to improve upon as a person.
****
Enjoyable Moment 4: Naofumi made a good reveal of why he hates Maximilian in his past.
I really liked the way this chapter began. The real meat of Naofumi revealing his beef with Maximilian was an excellent addition to what Naofumi's past had been like.
For my favorite moment, it had to be Naofumi's explanation for why he has such a petty grudge. That being he can't stand Maximilian's hypocritical moral high-ground, when Maximilian's own country had been hoarding the resources of lesser developed country.
Into Malty's scene, I enjoyed seeing her lay out some comforting words for Naofumi's emotional support. That despite the anger guilting Naofumi, he ultimately has a good reason to hold his disdain for the wrongs Maximilian had done to his country.
On the humorous side, I liked seeing Malty misinterpret certain information about what Naofumi relayed of his modern world.
****
Enjoyable Moment 4: The introduction of Another Faction entering the story.
Before the Omake began, this final POV brought me with tons of hype. I won't say anything big about it to the other readers/reviewers. But I'm now excited to see these characters, being Yuri, Noriko, and the POV spectator finally take action by involving themselves in the plot.
Because I've heard tales from you, Qinlongfei, of how integral these new faction characters are going to be when involving the story's plot.
*****
Speculation Moment: Why was the POV told in Yatsuhashi’s POV, and not Naofumi or Malty? It would have been nice to see their internal feelings.
I don't have a problem with the POV format you had with this chapter, Qinlongfei. But I think this chapter would have worked better if Malty, Naofumi, or Raphtalia held most of the POV. Because Naofumi's secret being revealed with another person he was chatting with such as Malty or Raphtalia would have probably heightened up the emotional impact.
I usually prefer stoic/neutral POVS so that the feelings of characters don't make them mindlessly infuriating. But chapter 59 felt like it had the opposite case.
Because Yatsuhashi was the main POV, I could not gather why he needed to spectate the chapter. He didn't make any big reveals about his past origins and clan. he just watched Naofumi, got upset to witness Sadina get attacked, and reacted to Motoyasu talk a little bit about his original life.
Overall, I think the characterizing moments of chapter 59 could have been improved, if another POV spectator was voicing both their opinions and dialogue for the readers to better empathize with them.
****
I may not have a lot of words to say. But chapter 59 is truly a great chapter worth reading. Bye, and until the next time a chapter is dropped.
This chapter has been great, Qinlongfei. However, there is one generalized problem I have with chapter 59. But besides my generalized problem, I really do think that this is probably one of the best chapters you have released for Ascension of the Red Princess.
As such, I'd like to rate this a 8/10 for it's excellent character moments, and the major reveals Naofumi had about his past with Maximilian.
Especially with the ending. It has so much hype with the context you gave me out earlier, I now feel excited to see these new character factions take action within the story. Most notably with Yuri Neuer and Noriko Tatsumiya.
*****
On a little bit of a sidenote, is truly being annoying. Anytime I try to read a recent chapters, it always takes a few minutes to load, and always makes the selected chapter be unavailable for a period of time. If only could improve its problems when it comes towards being a functioning website for reading.
*****
The Primary Complaint: Ren's Omake Perspectives are very boring. Ren Amake's Omake have very little context to extract what exactly is so important with Ren's party. Ren's omake is extremely detached from the plot, that they end up feeling like a jumbled up side-quest lacking a cohesive overarching plot.
With this sole Complaint, Qinlongfei, I just want to say that the Ren Amaki Omake's feel like a detriment to the main story. The omakes exist to provide what Ren's perspective on Malach is like, but in the end. These omakes suffer very horribly in trying to tell a cohesive story I can understand.
So I'll just list them down in bullet points for why the Ren Omakes are not enjoyable and pale in comparison to the main plot for both the main characters and side characters.
1. They are extremely disconnected:
In this first flaw, the problem i have with the Omakes is that it is extremely disconnected. The Ren stuff is so out-of-place from the main plot, they just end up feeling like an aftermath. Ren and his party are not struggling. Ren and his party just feel like they are randomly walking all-over Malach. And each time Ren's party reappear, they come back at locations where a whole-lotta-time has past. Making their struggles to adjust feel meaningless, because their time in Malach just sporadically make big journey jumps.
It's like a racer prepares to run at the beginning at the starting line in chapter 1. But then in chapter 2, the racer is suddenly at the finish line, and they are just retelling the aftermath of their survival, without showing proper context.
2. These Ren Omakes are extremely sporadic and appear outta-nowhere:
This is yet another problem of why I have a distaste on the Ren Amaki Omakes. They just randomly appear in chapters, thereby making their existence feel extremely disjointed from the main plot.
Because the Omakes have such sporadic appearances. I can't keep up with the lore and details the omakes are trying to tell me.
For one moment, an omake makes a big shocking reveal of why the viewer should care about "EXPOSITION X", but then in the next omake, the story shifts into "EXPOSITION Y" being very important. And "Exposition X" and the previous character moments are just suddenly no longer relevant in the long run.
With that, I find it difficult to comprehend that Ren's omake has an overarching plot. It just feels like a bunch of unrelated mini-stories all jumbled up together in random events, thereby weakening a cohesive plot for readers to grasp. Overall, the Ren Omakes feel like something that's reserved for a background moment, while the main POVS of both the side characters and main characters feel like the main feast for the actual plot to be progressed.
3. Ren Amaki's Omakes have very little context provided within them.
This is a problem that has been persisting, because of how the omakes were structured. Because in every few chapters, a random Omake is going to appear.
The omakes usually only contain 20% of the actual chapter's content. So as a consequence, the Omakes end up being so short, it's to the point I could barely comprehend why Ren and his party have to know so much about Malach.
Yeah sure, I know the real names of what Malach's Heroes are like. But i don't see why they are so important, when the entire Omake's existence is just spewing out random exposition that do not build-off the previous omakes. As such, it leaves a disjointed overarching plot for how the omakes are going to conclude itself into reuniting with the main plot.
To summarize my point of dislike on these omakes. It's that I find them to be like poorly written filler episodes. Because while the filler omakes provide some supplementary material for what Ren's group is doing. It's ultimately a sporadic story event that is not impacting the main antagonist and plot that the main story is trying to focus.
******
Enjoyable Moment 1: Tairou Sato actually is being reasonable sane in his interactions.
Tairou Sato was really cool here. Yes, Tairou is still acting as the overzealous fanboy who spews out unrelated Shield Hero theories. But unlike his previous appearances, Tairou is actually being competent.
His last lines were truly a sight to behold. Because despite how delusional he may be as a Shield Hero fan. Deep down, he has the heart to be a great hero when his priorities are set straight.
Extra points should also be given out to Naofumi. Because even Naofumi was able to take notice of Tairou's rehabilitated behavior as a more focused hero that is worth mentioning as an achievement.
*****
Enjoyable Moment 2: Im interested in the direction where more of Sadina’s problems are revealed.
Even though Sadina's appearance in this chapter is short. I still enjoyed her rampage causing the other characters to look more into why Sadina is so crazy for Naofumi's death. It helps bring excitement for the time Sadina does spill out her full problems, and the steps she needs to improve upon as a person.
****
Enjoyable Moment 4: Naofumi made a good reveal of why he hates Maximilian in his past.
I really liked the way this chapter began. The real meat of Naofumi revealing his beef with Maximilian was an excellent addition to what Naofumi's past had been like.
For my favorite moment, it had to be Naofumi's explanation for why he has such a petty grudge. That being he can't stand Maximilian's hypocritical moral high-ground, when Maximilian's own country had been hoarding the resources of lesser developed country.
Into Malty's scene, I enjoyed seeing her lay out some comforting words for Naofumi's emotional support. That despite the anger guilting Naofumi, he ultimately has a good reason to hold his disdain for the wrongs Maximilian had done to his country.
On the humorous side, I liked seeing Malty misinterpret certain information about what Naofumi relayed of his modern world.
****
Enjoyable Moment 4: The introduction of Another Faction entering the story.
Before the Omake began, this final POV brought me with tons of hype. I won't say anything big about it to the other readers/reviewers. But I'm now excited to see these characters, being Yuri, Noriko, and the POV spectator finally take action by involving themselves in the plot.
Because I've heard tales from you, Qinlongfei, of how integral these new faction characters are going to be when involving the story's plot.
*****
Speculation Moment: Why was the POV told in Yatsuhashi’s POV, and not Naofumi or Malty? It would have been nice to see their internal feelings.
I don't have a problem with the POV format you had with this chapter, Qinlongfei. But I think this chapter would have worked better if Malty, Naofumi, or Raphtalia held most of the POV. Because Naofumi's secret being revealed with another person he was chatting with such as Malty or Raphtalia would have probably heightened up the emotional impact.
I usually prefer stoic/neutral POVS so that the feelings of characters don't make them mindlessly infuriating. But chapter 59 felt like it had the opposite case.
Because Yatsuhashi was the main POV, I could not gather why he needed to spectate the chapter. He didn't make any big reveals about his past origins and clan. he just watched Naofumi, got upset to witness Sadina get attacked, and reacted to Motoyasu talk a little bit about his original life.
Overall, I think the characterizing moments of chapter 59 could have been improved, if another POV spectator was voicing both their opinions and dialogue for the readers to better empathize with them.
****
I may not have a lot of words to say. But chapter 59 is truly a great chapter worth reading. Bye, and until the next time a chapter is dropped.
3/21 c53 DJman248
...Fanfiction dot net's awful website maintenance certainly did me in this time in terms of delaying my reviews. Especially woth how it didn't let me read new chapters from my phone for ALMOST TWO MONTHS STRAIGHT.
So...yeah. I have a fair bit to catch up on.
This is a pretty decent transition chapter of sorts. One that helps establish for sure that Astaroth is gone (for now at least) and that now the focus is entirely on the remaining threat: the Spirit tortoise...with a couple of additional complications thrown in, no less.
Admittedly this review will be shorter than the norm by virtue of how this chapter was structured (which...ehlps alot considering how BEHIND I am on reviewing recent chapters!). But I can still give something to say on the bigger more noteworthy aspects!
First, winding down from the Mirror demon's exit is acknowledging how the bioplant is...not making the tortoise any easier to deal with. Especially with how vampiric it is to anything that touches it...and the fact that said plant is all over the tortoise.
Envy is not what I feel towards our heroes in this situation. Especially with how Mr..Mirror Demon, in a very believable follow up to his arrogance and cowardice, proceeds to leave that mirror up so that Medea and the Katana Hero end up in conflict...which would soften both for him later.
...at the expense of several of his subordinates. Which he discarded in such a quick fashion that even Eve, his sycophant extraordinaire, can't fully rationalize this decision as good.
...what'a funny is that it didn't even work, considering that the giant armored demon (who...seems suspiciously similar to Getter Robo?) That came through decided to...attack the spirit tortoise, which actually may end up buying precious time for everyone to coordinate a way to end the tortoise.
Ah, and I can't ignore how it seems that Astaroth continues to be obstructed and harrassed by beings beyond the worlds? The "angel" that attacked from the mirror seemed to be trying to nip this problem in the bud. Too bad Eve was too loyal to let that happen.
Oh well.
On another note, I see that you are letting Aultcray witness how his eldest daughter deals with her own subordinates via her encouraging Eclair. It was a rather nice thing to witness, and further proof of Malty balancing her pragmatism with compasion.
It's a nice shift in focus now that the war has boiled down to the armies dealing with a singular threat to the world. Almost funny how that's actually comfortable territory for this story (waves and singular threats are more prevalent so far) since the war against Astaroth was different in scope and scale in comparison.
Lastly...your choice to have the Tortoise's spirit not being a conventionally attractive woman actually...had me question why would such a spirit actually bother being human in the first place. Let alone one that looks perfectly (if unrealistically gorgeous) normal as a human being. The guardians are animalistic entities that act as the world's last defense against otherworldly threats...regardles of whatever intelligent life gets sacrificed.
So yeah, I definitely can't say I blame you for taking liberties there. Especially since the tortoise spirit not being a well endowed woman doesn't change anything substantial in the geand scheme of things...except maybe that Tact now won't ogle and flirt with the spirit.
I do wonder...was the main reason you changed the tortoise spirit spite for the more...extreme fans of RotSH's canon? Or was I sorta right in my assessment on how said spirit being human seems odd?
All in all, liked the chapter. Hoping to get to the rest quick so that I don't stay so far behind!
...Fanfiction dot net's awful website maintenance certainly did me in this time in terms of delaying my reviews. Especially woth how it didn't let me read new chapters from my phone for ALMOST TWO MONTHS STRAIGHT.
So...yeah. I have a fair bit to catch up on.
This is a pretty decent transition chapter of sorts. One that helps establish for sure that Astaroth is gone (for now at least) and that now the focus is entirely on the remaining threat: the Spirit tortoise...with a couple of additional complications thrown in, no less.
Admittedly this review will be shorter than the norm by virtue of how this chapter was structured (which...ehlps alot considering how BEHIND I am on reviewing recent chapters!). But I can still give something to say on the bigger more noteworthy aspects!
First, winding down from the Mirror demon's exit is acknowledging how the bioplant is...not making the tortoise any easier to deal with. Especially with how vampiric it is to anything that touches it...and the fact that said plant is all over the tortoise.
Envy is not what I feel towards our heroes in this situation. Especially with how Mr..Mirror Demon, in a very believable follow up to his arrogance and cowardice, proceeds to leave that mirror up so that Medea and the Katana Hero end up in conflict...which would soften both for him later.
...at the expense of several of his subordinates. Which he discarded in such a quick fashion that even Eve, his sycophant extraordinaire, can't fully rationalize this decision as good.
...what'a funny is that it didn't even work, considering that the giant armored demon (who...seems suspiciously similar to Getter Robo?) That came through decided to...attack the spirit tortoise, which actually may end up buying precious time for everyone to coordinate a way to end the tortoise.
Ah, and I can't ignore how it seems that Astaroth continues to be obstructed and harrassed by beings beyond the worlds? The "angel" that attacked from the mirror seemed to be trying to nip this problem in the bud. Too bad Eve was too loyal to let that happen.
Oh well.
On another note, I see that you are letting Aultcray witness how his eldest daughter deals with her own subordinates via her encouraging Eclair. It was a rather nice thing to witness, and further proof of Malty balancing her pragmatism with compasion.
It's a nice shift in focus now that the war has boiled down to the armies dealing with a singular threat to the world. Almost funny how that's actually comfortable territory for this story (waves and singular threats are more prevalent so far) since the war against Astaroth was different in scope and scale in comparison.
Lastly...your choice to have the Tortoise's spirit not being a conventionally attractive woman actually...had me question why would such a spirit actually bother being human in the first place. Let alone one that looks perfectly (if unrealistically gorgeous) normal as a human being. The guardians are animalistic entities that act as the world's last defense against otherworldly threats...regardles of whatever intelligent life gets sacrificed.
So yeah, I definitely can't say I blame you for taking liberties there. Especially since the tortoise spirit not being a well endowed woman doesn't change anything substantial in the geand scheme of things...except maybe that Tact now won't ogle and flirt with the spirit.
I do wonder...was the main reason you changed the tortoise spirit spite for the more...extreme fans of RotSH's canon? Or was I sorta right in my assessment on how said spirit being human seems odd?
All in all, liked the chapter. Hoping to get to the rest quick so that I don't stay so far behind!
3/18 c59 Half-Otaku
So the Farming Intrument Hero and the Cooking Tool Hero are really Cardinal Heroes from Malach? i thought they are vassal heroes from S'yne's World. In the LN, they make mention of 2 legendary Heroes ( the Armor and the Ring), but only 2 vassals (the Sewing Set and the Chain) i always wondered what the other two were. A hero Weapon to farm and cook, next with S'yne sewing weapon make sense. But the Fishing is not like Kizuna mojo thing? Her Weapon is a FISHING ROb. And i also tremenber read somewhere that the four hero would have a Brush ( what would fit in with the Oriental aesthetics of Malach), i honestly are waiting some excentric artist like Rill Boismortier of Black Clover. if the Cardinal Heroes from Malach are sill in they world, i assume the 3 lights form the Giant Mecha are the Jewel, the Ofuda and the Blunt Intrument?
So the Farming Intrument Hero and the Cooking Tool Hero are really Cardinal Heroes from Malach? i thought they are vassal heroes from S'yne's World. In the LN, they make mention of 2 legendary Heroes ( the Armor and the Ring), but only 2 vassals (the Sewing Set and the Chain) i always wondered what the other two were. A hero Weapon to farm and cook, next with S'yne sewing weapon make sense. But the Fishing is not like Kizuna mojo thing? Her Weapon is a FISHING ROb. And i also tremenber read somewhere that the four hero would have a Brush ( what would fit in with the Oriental aesthetics of Malach), i honestly are waiting some excentric artist like Rill Boismortier of Black Clover. if the Cardinal Heroes from Malach are sill in they world, i assume the 3 lights form the Giant Mecha are the Jewel, the Ofuda and the Blunt Intrument?
3/15 c58 TVTropesPapermania
This was a pretty great chapter. And as such, I don't really see myself as having any complaints to chapter 58, Qinlongfei.
Since I have little to no problems with what I have to say about chapter 58. I think I'll rate this as either an 8/10 or 9/10. Not a lot of big moments that appear plot-twisting, but the chapter itself does set up a lot of character arcs that could lead somewhere in the future.
So I think I'll have a short message detailing my favorite moments and speculations for what may come forward.
*******
Previous Enjoyable Moments Back in chapter 57:
I never got to write these down, due to forgetting to include them in the previous review. But here are a few enjoyable moments I liked in what occurred at chapter 57
* When it came to how you set up the Siltvelt arc in the aftermath of the Spirit Tortoise. I think it was handled way better than how the Spirit Tortoise was introduced back in chapter 56. My inference is that it is because chapter 57 had better character moments where Naofumi's psyche was better explored, and Lord Dio was even teased to have familial political problems back in Siltvelt.
Whereas for chapter 36. I had a previous complaint in that chapter for how so much of it's content felt like filler, and that Malty was like a mary sue who was being character-shilled into bashing a clearly inferior opponent.
But in chapter 57, Malty is so much more heartwarming for the emotional support she brings out for Naofumi, and the possibility of them having a conversation to learn more about each other.
* Kael'thas's belief system about slavery was a great inclusion for how it deeply reflects Raphtalia's previous mindset about it. Because back in Ambition of the Red Princess, an ongoing character arc Raphtalia had was abandoning slavery and acknowledging the aspects that make the concept terrible. And so to have Kael'thas equate slavery as a form of familial bond. It provided a great way for Naofumi to express his heroic views on slavery's bad implication, and the cultural beliefs Kael'thas was probably indoctrinated into thinking as a positive.
* Raphtalia's comfort chat with Malty was both a heartwarming moment that furthers their love as a family. Whilst at the same time, it humorously jabbed Canon!Raphtalia's reputation as a living tool who exists solely as a prop for Canon!Naofumi to utilized. Which in turn, gives Ambition!Raphtalia further motivation to dissociate from her canon self and be a strong individual who is separate from a tool.
With that done. I enjoyed adding in the extra enjoyable moments I liked from chapter 57.
*****
Enjoyable Moment 1: Raphtalia receiving comfort from Tairou Sato and Malty was encouraging to see.
Into chapter 58, I enjoyed seeing how Raphtalia is comforted. Although Raphtalia is most likely going to follow the path of a stealthy party member. I like seeing how this sort of path is deviating the boring path her canon self took into becoming a weapon.
Even though Tairou Sato made himself come off as an insensitive idiot by wanting Raphtalia to be a literal sword. It was still comforting for Tairou to actually have a point that Raphtalia can still have more faith in her abilities to become a more competent person. Which in turn made Tairou Sato a semi-likable character despite his inconsistent logic when attempting to apply Shield Hero lore.
The same even goes for Malty in the chapter. It was also cool for her to participate in comforting Raphtalia by addressing that Naofumi values every person as having hidden potential. Humorously enough, even though Malty was probably lying about Naofumi's intentions of why he kept around the Yuzus, eveything about Malty's statement became even funnier when she slightly glared at Naofumi to solidify what she just said.
*****
Enjoyable Moment 2: Tairou Sato is now being funny, and has now downplayed his annoying fanboy tendencies as a strawman character.
Into Tairou Sato, I once made a complaint with him being too obnoxious in a few previous chapters. Because he seemed to only spew out Shield Hero lore purely just so you, Qinlongfei, could bash on the plot. Rather than to focus on either expanding upon Ascension of the Red Princess' story or bringing forth more characterizing moments for Tairou.
But in here, I enjoyed how you depicted him in chapter 58, Qinlongfei. Because while Tairou still spews out his typical Shield Hero nonsense. Tairou now has the COMEDY backing up his statements to become as the fanfiction's entertaining clown.
Furthermore and aside from Tairou's humorous dialogue about Shield Hero. I liked how his own comforting words Raphtalia has the merit to be valued. Even if Tairou is a bit insensitive on some facts such as Raphtalia being the sword and looking down on the Three Heroes.
****
Enjoyable Moment 3: Firo has a great moment of Characterization regarding her relationship with Rial and Lori. As Firo's story feels like a representation of child abandonment and the flawed aspects of why criminal systems have never truly benefitted the emotional psyche of criminals.
I enjoyed seeing Firo's conflict with her new sisters come into play at this chapter. Since this chapter was great at characterizing just how emotionally isolated Firo is from Naofumi. And how much Firo is desperate to reunite with her father.
However, unfortunately for Firo. She is left in the belief that because Naofumi has Rial and Lori. It convinces Firo that those two new sisters are taking away Naofumi's attention from her, and that Naofumi is possibly going to abandon her. Which in turn fuels Firo with the need to either kill or constantly fight Rial and Lori.
With how Firo is acting right now. I really do like her way more than her canon self. Not because Firo is a spoiled brat. But because Firo feels like a victim of poor environmental circumstances. Since in Ambition of the Red Princess, Naofumi was obviously trying to tame Firo as a daughter.
But because Mirellia is both being politically unfair to Naofumi and Mordred is being irrationally angry. It ended up forcing Firo to be abandoned from Naofumi, which in turn caused Firo's mental wellbeing to seriously deteriorate.
Because Firo is acting like this. I feel almost compelled to compare Firo's form of emotional neglect as something you'd find in how society deals with youth criminals.
Because whenever a criminal is punished with justice. It always results in the criminal being isolated from the world and being placed in an toxic environment where there are more bad people. And once the criminal is released, the criminal later commits more crimes, and true justice was never really given. Since all it ever really did was deprived the criminal with the need to get better, and their served prison sentence was all just an excuse to deteriorate their mindset, just so they could be endlessly shoved back into a tiny cage.
And so, with how Firo is being presented in this chapter. She feels like a representation of a criminal victim who got retribution punishment for her actions. But the authorities in question such as Mirellia and Mordred never planned on ever rehabilitating Firo back with Naofumi. As such, I am inclined to believe that Firo more than ever needs Naofumi.
Because Naofumi himself has previously begged to have further opportunities to support Firo's emotional wellbeing. Which is why in the near future, I do hope Naofumi is able to lift away Firo's criminal sentence, so that he could have a chance to rehabilitate Firo into a stable sister for the filorial family.
Note: On a more minor note, I enjoyed seeing Bright and Set make their appearance yet again. These two sound like they best represent handing out moral advice for the characters to better mend their relationships. As I liked how Bright and Set treated the entire fight with Firo as a means of equating superiority to be respect.
*****
Speculation 1: The concept of forgiveness and revenge would be heavily explored with Firo regarding Raphtalia and Mordred’s views when the War of Heroes arc comes up.
With how Firo is being currently treated in the story. I do hope that in future arcs such as the mentioned War of Heroes arc, is for Firo to explore the themes of forgiveness and revenge. Firo sounds like a perfect candidate because her own emotional instability lines in very well with Mordred's irrational anger.
Because the two things in common that Mordred and Firo have is their emotional outburst and horrible relationship with their siblings. Which is why when later arcs come into play, I do hope that Firo is able to eventually better herself with a redemption, if she realizes the self-destructive path revenge had led Mordred into.
Furthermore, I think Firo has more character potential as a redeemed character, than as a villain. Because it would be such a waste to see Firo be rewarded with an important chekhov's gun of Fitoria's crown feather. Only for Firo to never bother with that object to be a rehash Mordred 2.0 where, Firo only makes big angry rants about Father Naofumi and wanting to kill her sisters.
As a last possibility, I do hope to see more interactions with Firo and Raphtalia. Because their character traits being opposites to each other would create some great character dynamics, if they were to go on a solo adventure. Since having Raphtalia amdn Firo together would sound like a big opportunity to expand upon their relationship of what their siblinghood is like.
And as an additional opportunity, Firo could also spew in her negative opinion of what she thinks Malty is like, so that Raphtalia could have a more realistic interpretation in acknowledging how Malty evolved from her racist viewpoints into a caring mother. Since back in Ambition of the Red Princess, Firo held some good points in acknowledging Malty as a liar, whilst Raphtalia's own positive naivety was what convinced Malty to redeem herself.
So overall in the future, I'm hopeful to have more Firo scenes for how she could reflect her behavior with Mordred, and have more familial based themes explored with Raphtalia.
*****
Speculation 2: I have a feeling that Motoyasu’s thick-headed brain and inability to properly listen towards statements is exactly why he’ll lead himself into major consequences.
Even though this chapter was short on Motoyasu's scenes. I think, Qinlongfei, that Motoyasu could have an interesting character arc when his thick-headed brain and impulsivity is played as a plot-relevant character trait.
Because I think Motoyasu's biggest flaw is his inability to accept different viewpoints and impulsivity in concluding an argument. It was never about Motoyasu being the idiot who was vulnerable to manipulation. The most probable conclusion I have of Motoyasu's flaw is that once he makes up his mind, he will only use very simplistic logic to backup a claim, and will not stop until a trusted friend convinces him to give up the idea.
With how Motoyasu had operated in previous discussions and this chapter in particular, about mistaking Naofumi's proposal as handing over Medea to Astaroth. I have a feeling that in later storylines, Motoyasu's own ignorance to other people's perspectives is what would spell disaster for both himself and Iris. Since Iris herself sounds like a recipe for disaster if her own secrecy and manipulations is what gets Motoyasy into severely ruining a major moment for victory.
*****
This may be a short review compared to my previous ones, but this was an enjoyable chapter, Qinlongfei. Hopefully the other future chapters will be just as entertaining.
This was a pretty great chapter. And as such, I don't really see myself as having any complaints to chapter 58, Qinlongfei.
Since I have little to no problems with what I have to say about chapter 58. I think I'll rate this as either an 8/10 or 9/10. Not a lot of big moments that appear plot-twisting, but the chapter itself does set up a lot of character arcs that could lead somewhere in the future.
So I think I'll have a short message detailing my favorite moments and speculations for what may come forward.
*******
Previous Enjoyable Moments Back in chapter 57:
I never got to write these down, due to forgetting to include them in the previous review. But here are a few enjoyable moments I liked in what occurred at chapter 57
* When it came to how you set up the Siltvelt arc in the aftermath of the Spirit Tortoise. I think it was handled way better than how the Spirit Tortoise was introduced back in chapter 56. My inference is that it is because chapter 57 had better character moments where Naofumi's psyche was better explored, and Lord Dio was even teased to have familial political problems back in Siltvelt.
Whereas for chapter 36. I had a previous complaint in that chapter for how so much of it's content felt like filler, and that Malty was like a mary sue who was being character-shilled into bashing a clearly inferior opponent.
But in chapter 57, Malty is so much more heartwarming for the emotional support she brings out for Naofumi, and the possibility of them having a conversation to learn more about each other.
* Kael'thas's belief system about slavery was a great inclusion for how it deeply reflects Raphtalia's previous mindset about it. Because back in Ambition of the Red Princess, an ongoing character arc Raphtalia had was abandoning slavery and acknowledging the aspects that make the concept terrible. And so to have Kael'thas equate slavery as a form of familial bond. It provided a great way for Naofumi to express his heroic views on slavery's bad implication, and the cultural beliefs Kael'thas was probably indoctrinated into thinking as a positive.
* Raphtalia's comfort chat with Malty was both a heartwarming moment that furthers their love as a family. Whilst at the same time, it humorously jabbed Canon!Raphtalia's reputation as a living tool who exists solely as a prop for Canon!Naofumi to utilized. Which in turn, gives Ambition!Raphtalia further motivation to dissociate from her canon self and be a strong individual who is separate from a tool.
With that done. I enjoyed adding in the extra enjoyable moments I liked from chapter 57.
*****
Enjoyable Moment 1: Raphtalia receiving comfort from Tairou Sato and Malty was encouraging to see.
Into chapter 58, I enjoyed seeing how Raphtalia is comforted. Although Raphtalia is most likely going to follow the path of a stealthy party member. I like seeing how this sort of path is deviating the boring path her canon self took into becoming a weapon.
Even though Tairou Sato made himself come off as an insensitive idiot by wanting Raphtalia to be a literal sword. It was still comforting for Tairou to actually have a point that Raphtalia can still have more faith in her abilities to become a more competent person. Which in turn made Tairou Sato a semi-likable character despite his inconsistent logic when attempting to apply Shield Hero lore.
The same even goes for Malty in the chapter. It was also cool for her to participate in comforting Raphtalia by addressing that Naofumi values every person as having hidden potential. Humorously enough, even though Malty was probably lying about Naofumi's intentions of why he kept around the Yuzus, eveything about Malty's statement became even funnier when she slightly glared at Naofumi to solidify what she just said.
*****
Enjoyable Moment 2: Tairou Sato is now being funny, and has now downplayed his annoying fanboy tendencies as a strawman character.
Into Tairou Sato, I once made a complaint with him being too obnoxious in a few previous chapters. Because he seemed to only spew out Shield Hero lore purely just so you, Qinlongfei, could bash on the plot. Rather than to focus on either expanding upon Ascension of the Red Princess' story or bringing forth more characterizing moments for Tairou.
But in here, I enjoyed how you depicted him in chapter 58, Qinlongfei. Because while Tairou still spews out his typical Shield Hero nonsense. Tairou now has the COMEDY backing up his statements to become as the fanfiction's entertaining clown.
Furthermore and aside from Tairou's humorous dialogue about Shield Hero. I liked how his own comforting words Raphtalia has the merit to be valued. Even if Tairou is a bit insensitive on some facts such as Raphtalia being the sword and looking down on the Three Heroes.
****
Enjoyable Moment 3: Firo has a great moment of Characterization regarding her relationship with Rial and Lori. As Firo's story feels like a representation of child abandonment and the flawed aspects of why criminal systems have never truly benefitted the emotional psyche of criminals.
I enjoyed seeing Firo's conflict with her new sisters come into play at this chapter. Since this chapter was great at characterizing just how emotionally isolated Firo is from Naofumi. And how much Firo is desperate to reunite with her father.
However, unfortunately for Firo. She is left in the belief that because Naofumi has Rial and Lori. It convinces Firo that those two new sisters are taking away Naofumi's attention from her, and that Naofumi is possibly going to abandon her. Which in turn fuels Firo with the need to either kill or constantly fight Rial and Lori.
With how Firo is acting right now. I really do like her way more than her canon self. Not because Firo is a spoiled brat. But because Firo feels like a victim of poor environmental circumstances. Since in Ambition of the Red Princess, Naofumi was obviously trying to tame Firo as a daughter.
But because Mirellia is both being politically unfair to Naofumi and Mordred is being irrationally angry. It ended up forcing Firo to be abandoned from Naofumi, which in turn caused Firo's mental wellbeing to seriously deteriorate.
Because Firo is acting like this. I feel almost compelled to compare Firo's form of emotional neglect as something you'd find in how society deals with youth criminals.
Because whenever a criminal is punished with justice. It always results in the criminal being isolated from the world and being placed in an toxic environment where there are more bad people. And once the criminal is released, the criminal later commits more crimes, and true justice was never really given. Since all it ever really did was deprived the criminal with the need to get better, and their served prison sentence was all just an excuse to deteriorate their mindset, just so they could be endlessly shoved back into a tiny cage.
And so, with how Firo is being presented in this chapter. She feels like a representation of a criminal victim who got retribution punishment for her actions. But the authorities in question such as Mirellia and Mordred never planned on ever rehabilitating Firo back with Naofumi. As such, I am inclined to believe that Firo more than ever needs Naofumi.
Because Naofumi himself has previously begged to have further opportunities to support Firo's emotional wellbeing. Which is why in the near future, I do hope Naofumi is able to lift away Firo's criminal sentence, so that he could have a chance to rehabilitate Firo into a stable sister for the filorial family.
Note: On a more minor note, I enjoyed seeing Bright and Set make their appearance yet again. These two sound like they best represent handing out moral advice for the characters to better mend their relationships. As I liked how Bright and Set treated the entire fight with Firo as a means of equating superiority to be respect.
*****
Speculation 1: The concept of forgiveness and revenge would be heavily explored with Firo regarding Raphtalia and Mordred’s views when the War of Heroes arc comes up.
With how Firo is being currently treated in the story. I do hope that in future arcs such as the mentioned War of Heroes arc, is for Firo to explore the themes of forgiveness and revenge. Firo sounds like a perfect candidate because her own emotional instability lines in very well with Mordred's irrational anger.
Because the two things in common that Mordred and Firo have is their emotional outburst and horrible relationship with their siblings. Which is why when later arcs come into play, I do hope that Firo is able to eventually better herself with a redemption, if she realizes the self-destructive path revenge had led Mordred into.
Furthermore, I think Firo has more character potential as a redeemed character, than as a villain. Because it would be such a waste to see Firo be rewarded with an important chekhov's gun of Fitoria's crown feather. Only for Firo to never bother with that object to be a rehash Mordred 2.0 where, Firo only makes big angry rants about Father Naofumi and wanting to kill her sisters.
As a last possibility, I do hope to see more interactions with Firo and Raphtalia. Because their character traits being opposites to each other would create some great character dynamics, if they were to go on a solo adventure. Since having Raphtalia amdn Firo together would sound like a big opportunity to expand upon their relationship of what their siblinghood is like.
And as an additional opportunity, Firo could also spew in her negative opinion of what she thinks Malty is like, so that Raphtalia could have a more realistic interpretation in acknowledging how Malty evolved from her racist viewpoints into a caring mother. Since back in Ambition of the Red Princess, Firo held some good points in acknowledging Malty as a liar, whilst Raphtalia's own positive naivety was what convinced Malty to redeem herself.
So overall in the future, I'm hopeful to have more Firo scenes for how she could reflect her behavior with Mordred, and have more familial based themes explored with Raphtalia.
*****
Speculation 2: I have a feeling that Motoyasu’s thick-headed brain and inability to properly listen towards statements is exactly why he’ll lead himself into major consequences.
Even though this chapter was short on Motoyasu's scenes. I think, Qinlongfei, that Motoyasu could have an interesting character arc when his thick-headed brain and impulsivity is played as a plot-relevant character trait.
Because I think Motoyasu's biggest flaw is his inability to accept different viewpoints and impulsivity in concluding an argument. It was never about Motoyasu being the idiot who was vulnerable to manipulation. The most probable conclusion I have of Motoyasu's flaw is that once he makes up his mind, he will only use very simplistic logic to backup a claim, and will not stop until a trusted friend convinces him to give up the idea.
With how Motoyasu had operated in previous discussions and this chapter in particular, about mistaking Naofumi's proposal as handing over Medea to Astaroth. I have a feeling that in later storylines, Motoyasu's own ignorance to other people's perspectives is what would spell disaster for both himself and Iris. Since Iris herself sounds like a recipe for disaster if her own secrecy and manipulations is what gets Motoyasy into severely ruining a major moment for victory.
*****
This may be a short review compared to my previous ones, but this was an enjoyable chapter, Qinlongfei. Hopefully the other future chapters will be just as entertaining.
3/8 c57 TVTropesPapermania
Well, Qinlongfei, I may be a bit late in handing out this review to be online. But I'm glad to have been finished with reading chapter 57. Because I have to say this, chapter 57 is truly a vast improvement to chapter 56.
Even though I probably have some complaints, they are more like speculations for the future chapters. But overall, chapter 57 is a great introduction into your new Siltvelt storyline. And with how chapter 57 built itself up, I'd say that this is the first time I will give this an 8.5/10 rating.
I really would like to give chapter 57 the great 8.5/10 rating. Because I felt like no one was character assassinated, and this chapter lacked scenes I believed were padding out the run time. And if I were to have complaints, I feel like they are more like speculations, rather than full-time story flaws.
Now without further ado, I'll begin my review.
******
Complaint 1: There are way too many INTRODUCED plotlines, and it's extremely DIFFUCULT to keep up with some of them. There may even be a chance that viewers may forget what the introduced subplot was, and that's due to the many subplots being BARELY revisited in over several chapters.
Since Ascension of the Red Princess, as you have said, Qinlongfei, is going to run for hundred's of chapters. There is bound to be plenty of moments where you'll spread out character arcs and subplots for very specific sporadic chapters, so that you can create build up for them.
However, the problem I have with Ascension of the Red Princess in general is its OVERABUNDANCE of having TOO many plot threads/story beats for the average viewer to tune up to. Because in Ascension of the Red Princess, Qinlongfei, each time you introduce a very very interesting plot thread such as these:
* Example 1: In chapter 5, there used to be scenes where Raphtalia became a very conflicted character regarding her loyalties towards Malty and Naofumi. Because in that chapter, Raphtalia was psychologically abused by Keel slandering Malty and Naofumi as purely evil people who exploit her. When I saw Raphtalia running away to cry. I thought, Qinlongfei that you'd eventually write a chapter to give Raphtalia's poor mental state a resolution. And perhaps even give Raphtalia a heartwarming talk with Malty and Naofumi about what love is like.
But instead, Qinlongfei. You ended up ditching that subplot of Raphtalia's conflicted mind, and instead chose to focus more on making Keel irritatingly aggravating. By the time Keel became a more tolerable character as of the recent chapter, Qinlongfei, you still have not yet fully resolved Raphtalia' distressed mind about whether she should continue following Naofumi and Malty.
* Example 2: Raphtalia's eventual discovery where Malty had possibly left her to die to the hands of a Hell Hound. Back in Ambition of the Red Princess, Qinlongfei, you made teases about Malty needing to eventually confront Raphtalia about the time she made a cowardly decision to leave Raphtalia for dead towards a Hell Hound. So that Raphtalia could gain a better understanding about what it took for Malty to truly view her as a surrogate daughter.
However, that plot line never even got a true resolution. It just suddenly disappeared, and Raphtalia never even makes future references on whether Malty is truly a loyal/disloyal mother who would be by her side during the worst times. I just wish these private character moments where left revisited to be given a proper conclusion, rather than them being suddenly ditched, just so the story is overfilled with shallow and incomplete story beats.
* Example 3: Myne of Samphor and the Beast Slayer being introduced to prepare their fight against the Spirit Tortoise. Back in chapter 31 and 37, Qinlongfei. You introduced the Beast Slayer parties, and implied that these characters would be providing major support for the main characters during the Spirit Tortoise fight.
But by chapter 57, which is right now. You are already resolving the Spirit Tortoise conflict as of now. Yet, the Beast Slayer subplot, and especially Mein of Samphor had not made any major scenes where their character presence is supposed to impact the plot. So if they were to return in some future chapter, I think there remains a possibility that their initial relevance and importance would be forgotten. Due to how sporadic their appearance ended up being.
* Example 4: Between chapter 16-25, there used to be a moral conflict that is happening between Melty and Malty. That being, Melty wishing to spend more time with Malty, and being a generally more supportive little sister.
However, after several chapters into chapter 57. Those subplot moments of Melty were suddenly shoehorned away, and never had time to develop into a resolution.
Furthermore, those older chapters even teased Iris to be a political player Malty is striving to be. As so Malty could learn how to be both a political princess, and a loyal friend to those around her. But sadly, even that plot point was jossed away in favor of Malty needing more competent feats to become a strategical commander of war.
*****
I have so many examples to list of so many missed opportunities. But if I were to list them all, then I'd probably just be babbling nonstop. In short, I just wish for Qinlongfei to slow down his introduction of new characters and storybeats to avoid overcrowding. So that for later chapters the author could then resolve the old plot threads that were either abandoned for extremely long periods, or have gone on for a long time and lacked a proper resolution.
*******
Subsection 1: Charles Balproven's mention feels hard to find impactful, due to his lack of relevance and mention feeling out-of-place. The same goes for the Faubley plotline Lord Malfoy is teasing about Dumbledore/Subal Mudbalrode.
In chapter 57's introduction, my inferance based on what I have seen, is that the story is teasing the Faubley plotline regarding the importance of Dumbledore. And the same can also be said for Charles Balproven's presence as the bad father towards Zylden.
However, I feel as though the introduction of chapter 57 is heading towards the previously described flaws I mentioned in the first complaint above. That being this Faubley plotline won't be resolve or be entered into, for the next several hundreds/tens of chapters.
With that being my complaint. I believe Qinlongfei, that you are teasing Dumbledore's presence far too early. The focus of Ascension of the Red Princess is currently with the Siltvelt arc and the Spirit Tortoise arc. And from what I've heard of you, the Faubley arc will take place way after the Siltvelt arc and Spirit Tortoise arc.
Which in turn, it diminishes Dumbledore and the Faubley Arc's presence for the future.
The same can also be said for Charles Balproven. The first time that guy had been majorly mentioned was in chapter 28. But because his first mention is so far back, I lack the proper context to see why his presence with Zylden is worth being placed into the introduction.
*******
Enjoyable Moments 1: The Yggdrasil Potion had an excellent teasing of a Chekhov's Gun.
I enjoyed how you implemented the Yggdrasil potion into this chapter, Qinlongfei. Because even though the potion was not actually used. You still managed to provide good teasing of how important the Yggdrasil potion would be for the recent future chapters you will probably release.
I am tense to see which opportunity you'll decide to unleash the Yggdrasil potion unto someone who is truly close to death, aside from what almost happened to Elrasla in here.
*****
Enjoyable Moment 2: Lord Dio's motherly problems in preparation to the Siltvelt arc was excellent teasing.
I may not know much about what's going on in Siltvelt and Dio's life. But regardless of what problems are present. You did a great job in providing focus on what's at stake with Dio, if he is unable to truly resolve his problems with Lord Hahahan.
As for Lord Hahahan. Even if I don't know what his character is like, he made a good character establishing moment and impression that is great for setting his future official debut.
******
Enjoyable Moment 3: Naofumi is truly proving himself a hero, unlike his overly long angsting in chapter 56.
In this chapter, I actually liked Naofumi. Because chapter 57 truly portrayed him positively as a hero who acts, rather than a normal everyone who angst, all while doing nothing around him.
The best Naofumi moments I had of chapter 57 has to be Naofumi talking to Kael'thas about how important it is to provide individuals with freedom. And for further clarifying that his decision to remove the slave seals was done out of a moral compass, rather than blind obedience to egotistic guilt and Maximilian.
******
Enjoyable Moment 4: Malty and Naofumi have such a heartwarming chat about their past mistakes.
Seeing Malty and Naofumi talk with each other like this. It is endearing for the both of them to open up about what they think of Maximilian's super misguided actions towards slavery and morality.
Because this opens up so many moments of characterization for Malty, Naofumi, and even Maximilian. By having Naofumi potentially open up about his past, he can further relate his shallow and petty motives with Malty. As well as expand why Maximilian is such a delusionally stupid strawman character.
My only hope for this, Qinlongfei. Is that You do not forget the chat you've already set up for Naofumi and Malty to have in the near future. It sounds very important that Naofumi opens up his past life and knowledge of Maximilian, so that Malty can better learn what Naofumi is like.
Well, Qinlongfei, I may be a bit late in handing out this review to be online. But I'm glad to have been finished with reading chapter 57. Because I have to say this, chapter 57 is truly a vast improvement to chapter 56.
Even though I probably have some complaints, they are more like speculations for the future chapters. But overall, chapter 57 is a great introduction into your new Siltvelt storyline. And with how chapter 57 built itself up, I'd say that this is the first time I will give this an 8.5/10 rating.
I really would like to give chapter 57 the great 8.5/10 rating. Because I felt like no one was character assassinated, and this chapter lacked scenes I believed were padding out the run time. And if I were to have complaints, I feel like they are more like speculations, rather than full-time story flaws.
Now without further ado, I'll begin my review.
******
Complaint 1: There are way too many INTRODUCED plotlines, and it's extremely DIFFUCULT to keep up with some of them. There may even be a chance that viewers may forget what the introduced subplot was, and that's due to the many subplots being BARELY revisited in over several chapters.
Since Ascension of the Red Princess, as you have said, Qinlongfei, is going to run for hundred's of chapters. There is bound to be plenty of moments where you'll spread out character arcs and subplots for very specific sporadic chapters, so that you can create build up for them.
However, the problem I have with Ascension of the Red Princess in general is its OVERABUNDANCE of having TOO many plot threads/story beats for the average viewer to tune up to. Because in Ascension of the Red Princess, Qinlongfei, each time you introduce a very very interesting plot thread such as these:
* Example 1: In chapter 5, there used to be scenes where Raphtalia became a very conflicted character regarding her loyalties towards Malty and Naofumi. Because in that chapter, Raphtalia was psychologically abused by Keel slandering Malty and Naofumi as purely evil people who exploit her. When I saw Raphtalia running away to cry. I thought, Qinlongfei that you'd eventually write a chapter to give Raphtalia's poor mental state a resolution. And perhaps even give Raphtalia a heartwarming talk with Malty and Naofumi about what love is like.
But instead, Qinlongfei. You ended up ditching that subplot of Raphtalia's conflicted mind, and instead chose to focus more on making Keel irritatingly aggravating. By the time Keel became a more tolerable character as of the recent chapter, Qinlongfei, you still have not yet fully resolved Raphtalia' distressed mind about whether she should continue following Naofumi and Malty.
* Example 2: Raphtalia's eventual discovery where Malty had possibly left her to die to the hands of a Hell Hound. Back in Ambition of the Red Princess, Qinlongfei, you made teases about Malty needing to eventually confront Raphtalia about the time she made a cowardly decision to leave Raphtalia for dead towards a Hell Hound. So that Raphtalia could gain a better understanding about what it took for Malty to truly view her as a surrogate daughter.
However, that plot line never even got a true resolution. It just suddenly disappeared, and Raphtalia never even makes future references on whether Malty is truly a loyal/disloyal mother who would be by her side during the worst times. I just wish these private character moments where left revisited to be given a proper conclusion, rather than them being suddenly ditched, just so the story is overfilled with shallow and incomplete story beats.
* Example 3: Myne of Samphor and the Beast Slayer being introduced to prepare their fight against the Spirit Tortoise. Back in chapter 31 and 37, Qinlongfei. You introduced the Beast Slayer parties, and implied that these characters would be providing major support for the main characters during the Spirit Tortoise fight.
But by chapter 57, which is right now. You are already resolving the Spirit Tortoise conflict as of now. Yet, the Beast Slayer subplot, and especially Mein of Samphor had not made any major scenes where their character presence is supposed to impact the plot. So if they were to return in some future chapter, I think there remains a possibility that their initial relevance and importance would be forgotten. Due to how sporadic their appearance ended up being.
* Example 4: Between chapter 16-25, there used to be a moral conflict that is happening between Melty and Malty. That being, Melty wishing to spend more time with Malty, and being a generally more supportive little sister.
However, after several chapters into chapter 57. Those subplot moments of Melty were suddenly shoehorned away, and never had time to develop into a resolution.
Furthermore, those older chapters even teased Iris to be a political player Malty is striving to be. As so Malty could learn how to be both a political princess, and a loyal friend to those around her. But sadly, even that plot point was jossed away in favor of Malty needing more competent feats to become a strategical commander of war.
*****
I have so many examples to list of so many missed opportunities. But if I were to list them all, then I'd probably just be babbling nonstop. In short, I just wish for Qinlongfei to slow down his introduction of new characters and storybeats to avoid overcrowding. So that for later chapters the author could then resolve the old plot threads that were either abandoned for extremely long periods, or have gone on for a long time and lacked a proper resolution.
*******
Subsection 1: Charles Balproven's mention feels hard to find impactful, due to his lack of relevance and mention feeling out-of-place. The same goes for the Faubley plotline Lord Malfoy is teasing about Dumbledore/Subal Mudbalrode.
In chapter 57's introduction, my inferance based on what I have seen, is that the story is teasing the Faubley plotline regarding the importance of Dumbledore. And the same can also be said for Charles Balproven's presence as the bad father towards Zylden.
However, I feel as though the introduction of chapter 57 is heading towards the previously described flaws I mentioned in the first complaint above. That being this Faubley plotline won't be resolve or be entered into, for the next several hundreds/tens of chapters.
With that being my complaint. I believe Qinlongfei, that you are teasing Dumbledore's presence far too early. The focus of Ascension of the Red Princess is currently with the Siltvelt arc and the Spirit Tortoise arc. And from what I've heard of you, the Faubley arc will take place way after the Siltvelt arc and Spirit Tortoise arc.
Which in turn, it diminishes Dumbledore and the Faubley Arc's presence for the future.
The same can also be said for Charles Balproven. The first time that guy had been majorly mentioned was in chapter 28. But because his first mention is so far back, I lack the proper context to see why his presence with Zylden is worth being placed into the introduction.
*******
Enjoyable Moments 1: The Yggdrasil Potion had an excellent teasing of a Chekhov's Gun.
I enjoyed how you implemented the Yggdrasil potion into this chapter, Qinlongfei. Because even though the potion was not actually used. You still managed to provide good teasing of how important the Yggdrasil potion would be for the recent future chapters you will probably release.
I am tense to see which opportunity you'll decide to unleash the Yggdrasil potion unto someone who is truly close to death, aside from what almost happened to Elrasla in here.
*****
Enjoyable Moment 2: Lord Dio's motherly problems in preparation to the Siltvelt arc was excellent teasing.
I may not know much about what's going on in Siltvelt and Dio's life. But regardless of what problems are present. You did a great job in providing focus on what's at stake with Dio, if he is unable to truly resolve his problems with Lord Hahahan.
As for Lord Hahahan. Even if I don't know what his character is like, he made a good character establishing moment and impression that is great for setting his future official debut.
******
Enjoyable Moment 3: Naofumi is truly proving himself a hero, unlike his overly long angsting in chapter 56.
In this chapter, I actually liked Naofumi. Because chapter 57 truly portrayed him positively as a hero who acts, rather than a normal everyone who angst, all while doing nothing around him.
The best Naofumi moments I had of chapter 57 has to be Naofumi talking to Kael'thas about how important it is to provide individuals with freedom. And for further clarifying that his decision to remove the slave seals was done out of a moral compass, rather than blind obedience to egotistic guilt and Maximilian.
******
Enjoyable Moment 4: Malty and Naofumi have such a heartwarming chat about their past mistakes.
Seeing Malty and Naofumi talk with each other like this. It is endearing for the both of them to open up about what they think of Maximilian's super misguided actions towards slavery and morality.
Because this opens up so many moments of characterization for Malty, Naofumi, and even Maximilian. By having Naofumi potentially open up about his past, he can further relate his shallow and petty motives with Malty. As well as expand why Maximilian is such a delusionally stupid strawman character.
My only hope for this, Qinlongfei. Is that You do not forget the chat you've already set up for Naofumi and Malty to have in the near future. It sounds very important that Naofumi opens up his past life and knowledge of Maximilian, so that Malty can better learn what Naofumi is like.
3/4 c57 RonaldM40196867
Time for clean up.
Every time I hear Dio I think JoJo’s Bizarre Adventure.
Happy March!
Time for clean up.
Every time I hear Dio I think JoJo’s Bizarre Adventure.
Happy March!
2/21 c56 TVTropesPapermania
Well, Qinlongfei. I have so many words I have to say. And these words aren't going to be fun. So to put what I have to say into story, it's this:
Chapter 56 is just straight up bad. I just feel enraged that I read this horrid chapter. I will admit, this chapter had an excellent hook that reeled me into the story. But the moment the main plot of this chapter came around. That being Maximilian.
It was at that moment, Qinlongfei. You killed your own story's entertainment value. You killed even Maximilian. That same killing even applies to Naofumi and Malty.
So now, I'll deliver my personal tastes of how I'd rate this terrible chapter I struggled to read: 1/10.
My rating is a 1/10. Because I have a BEHEMOTH LOAD COMPLAINTS explaining exactly how this chapter is the complete antitheses to establishing both a good story and actual "good" moral complexities between evil and efficiency.
Now without further ado, I'll slowly vent off my steam on why this chapter 56 earned my ire as being such an atrocious piece of writing I couldn't stomach. This chapter feels so much worse than anything the official Shield Hero canon has thrown out.
******
Praiseworthy Moment 1: General Anderson had such a tragic and good POV on how he is operating his mind.
Even though General Anderson is just a minor side character who probably won't be that important in the near future. I enjoyed how you fleshed out his thoughts, Qinlongfei. I liked the fact that despite General Anderson's bravado and reputation as a general.
Deep down, General Anderson has an instinctual sense of self-preservation that all living beings have. With that, I liked how General Anderson has the insecurities of a general who wants to uphold the status quo of bravery, but is secretly afraid deep down. Perhaps a knightly character like himself would serve as a great foil for Eclair and maybe even Flare.
****
Praiseworthy Moment 2: Kyo's story about Baoding is now taking effect. Thereby making an excellent chekhov's gun moment.
Back in chapter 55, Kyo made a big deal about why Baoding the Cook was known as the greatest butcher of all time. And with that, I eventually expected Baoding's lesson of the perfect cut through the weak points to eventually be applied into future chapters.
So for how you integrated Kyo's story like this, Qinlongfei. This was an excellent way to end Kyo's mini-sub plot on how well he can work as a partner with Seliph. I should also give Seliph credit as well for how he helped Kyo deliver these smoothe cuts as well.
****
Mini-Complaint: How does Naofumi know what a Terapagos pokemon is? The Terapagos was released in 2023-2024. Therefore logically, Terapagos SHOULDN’T HAVE EXISTED during Naofumi’s time.
I will be a little bit nit-picky. But I believe this is a massive oversight you forgot about Ascension of the Red Princess, Qinlongfei.
How is it, that Naofumi, a modern world otaku of Japan, has knowledge of a Terapagos pokemon? I understand that Naofumi knows the pokemon franchise. But Terapagos, HASN'T EVEN EXISTED. The Terapagos was released between 2023-2024 for Pokemon Horizons and the Pokemon Scarlet and Violet video game.
Meaning, that Naofumi and even the Pokemon company SHOULD NOT HAVE THE CAPACITY to create a Terapagos pokemon by the time of 2012-2019. Because those were the dates where Shield Hero debuted and therefore, Terapagos doesn't even exist by those time periods that Naofumi is currently in.
While this may be a minor complaint, Qinlongfei. You should have used a different pokemon name to describe the Spiritual Servant. Naofumi should have instead called the Spiritual Servant a Squirtle or any other older pokemon name. Not Terapagos.
******
THE MEGA-COMPLAINT: Maximilian is everything that's wrong with Ascension of the Red Princess. This guy was character assassinated. This guy is the strawest of all the strawman characters I have ever witnessed upon my reading of your book, Qinlongfei. This entire chapter was never about progressing the plot. Everything in chapter 56 was all about plumping its contents with Maximilian rants trying to fake a (BADLY WRITTEN EXAMPLE) of a so-called morally grey environment.
This is it... Qinlongfei... This is the main reason... that ruined chapter 56. This is why I consider this chapter to be the WORST of ALL the BADLY rated chapters I have ever given in your fanfiction. Even surpassing the bad quality of Ambition of the Red Princess chapter 154.
As of now, Qinlongfei, I find chapter 56 to be the most infuriating chapter... EVER!
As a clarification, I don't hate you as an author, Qinlongfei, or the general story as a whole. But besides that, I really disliked chapter 56. This chapter was straight up STALE and the ultimate example of RAGE-BAIT.
The entire conflict you set up, Qinlongfei, reeks of Aneko Yusagi levels worth of writing. The strawman levels of this chapter is over 9000 (Dragon Ball Z Vegeta reference). This chapter can essentially be summed up into this. And it feels very similar to all the writing flaws as to why Shield Hero fallen off the concept of rising:
"A strawman character is clearly being very ignorant and very stupid, just to make the main character look morally superior in terms of being a morally grey flawed anti-hero. Maximilian didn’t shoot himself in the leg and ruined the argument. Naofumi did and ruined himself. Naofumi’s only moral conflict is butting heads with a strawman idiot, rather than against someone who has valid points in morals."
I have made my introduction clear... And now, I'll commence my review why this chapter failed pretty horribly in trying to be a story.
******
Subsection 1: Maximilian was character assassinated. Maximilian is inconsistent in how competent he wants to act. Maximilian has an inconsistency problem to his character, or perhaps, Qinlongfei, Maximilian regressed his own characterization.
This is it, Qinlongfei. This is the first out of many reasons why I HATE MAXIMILIAN.
Back in chapter 51. You chose to specifically include Maximilian into the story for this purpose:
* Qinlongfei: Special thanks to PaperMania for Pointing out that Maximilian Washington ends up coming off too much like a strawman character, which made me decide to add him into this battle.
You added Maximilian to expand upon his character from his initial portrayal as a strawman character. But you've proved me wrong, Qinlongfei. This chapter 56 is essentially DEBUNKING all your previous statements and feats you wanted to make for Maximilian.
Qinlongfei, I appreciate how you attempted to expand Maximilian, because I gave out a very reasonable complaint beforehand. However, this is not the same case, because your attempts in handling that sort of criticism was washed away in what Maximilian did in this chapter.
Because to put this straight, Maximilian has a VERY inconsistent characterization. This guy was character regressed or probably even CHARACTER ASSASSINATED because of how mind bogglingly stupid he is:
During chapter 51-55, Maximilian acted as this semi-reliable ally who can prove himself to be a (semi)-competent ally who can help out in the battle against the Spirit Tortoise fight. Furthermore, Maximilian and his Rebel Alliance actually had reasonable points for why they fight so hard, and their strategies were actually really decent.
And for that, I actually was appreciative for how you depicted Maximilian as this semi-reliable character, Qinlongfei. HOWEVER, this chapter just shot the bullet and KILLED whatever character development and layering I thought Maximilian would have.
Instead, Qinlongfei, you REVEALED that Maximilian is just a plot device. Maximilian is even worst than a strawman character. Maximilian is quite literally just a PLOT DEVICE who at one moment acts semi-reasonable in his questionable methods of competence, to being SUPER DOWNRIGHT STUPID, that I can't stand Maximilian.
I know, Qinlongfei, that you don't intend Maximilian to be a strawman character. But the way you wrote and portrayed Maximilian in this chapter. It REEKS of Aneko Yusagi Writing of a seemingly competent character being degraded into a COMPLETE idiot, as a VERY SHALLOW AND CHEAP means of demonstrating moral complexities.
In summary, this is what I want to say here: Maximilian is still a strawman character who hasn’t really improved. This guy zig zags heavily between being a competent strawman character you can root for when times are desperate. But when there is peace, this guy becomes a total loser who invalidates all of his points and all his previously displayed competency is thrown out the window in favor of antagonizing neutral factions.
*****
Subsection 2: Maximilian provides. NO. MORAL. COMPLEXITIES IN THIS STORY.
Maximilian’s moral complexity is a facade and is straight up just dumb. The best description I have for him is that he is a strawman character and combination a karen that’s being a wild activist who’s just super stupid with zero good characterization. This further proves just how illogically inconsistent Maximilian is as a strawman character.
Because back when I made a review chapter 49, I detailing why I hated Axel as a character. And right now, Maximilian is becoming a very clear example of being the "anti-strawman archetype".
The reason I say this is because of this: The only prominent action both Maximilian and Axel have done is TRASH-TALK THEIR OWN ALLIES AGAINST THEIR OWN SELF-PRESERVATION!
Maximilian and Axel are plot devices. These guys are anti-strawman plot devices, because they only exist in the narrative to trash talk any character you believe needs to be dogpiled with harsh comments, Qinlongfei.
I’m not even impressed by Maximilian. Because somehow, the words of a strawman characters like Maximilian can reel in the hearts of good hearted morally grey people. But the words of a morally grey/villainous baddie lacks the charisma to prove their arguments as genuinely impacting.
****
Subsection 3: This chapter was never about writing a plot. This is just a filler episode, where a bunch of bickering happens with a clearly stupid strawman character. This is exactly like the terrible chapter 36 that made me dislike Malty as being an abhorrent brat towards "inferior politicians".
To keep this short, this chapter had minimal to zero plot progression. Because I can only recall three important moments worth noting:
1. The Spirit Tortoise is defeated, albeit with some complications.
2. Maximilian antagonizes everyone by calling Naofumi and every other noble as evil slavers.
3. Adewale joins Maximilian to prove the latter is a self-righteous strawman character. (I personally think Adewale is a prop who actually ruins Maximilian as a character)
Because of these very minimal and uneventful plot points. I hate this chapter for being one giant bickerfest of strawmen characters trying to prove which one is right and which one is wrong.
So to give my own opinion of the subject matters: I declare every character to be a cowardly whiny idiot. I'm also including Malty and Naofumi in this argument as well. Because even though team Naofumi had a CLEARLY more intellectual and MORALLY-GREY solutions that are reliable.
Somehow the narrative treats Maximilian as the reasonable strawman character, when he clearly demonstrated himself to be the biggest idiot whose morals have ZERO FLEXIBILITY!
Honestly, the strawman conflict and moral arguments are really shallow. I can't convince myself that Maximilian is a good guy or if Naofumi's team are good guys, when the only thing they have ever done is bicker a bunch of talking points.
******
Subsection 4: Ascension of the Red Princess doesn’t have moral complexity. The only moral complexity is this: “Morally grey smart people vs. Super Stupid Illogical strawman characters and super clearly villainous baddies that no one actively takes action against”.
This isn't just a problem I have with Maximilian. This is a problem I have with your entire fanfiction, Qinlongfei. The reason why I hate Ascension of the Red Princess SO MUCH MORE than Ambition of the Red Princess is because of this.
Ascension of the Red Princess doesn’t have moral complexity. The reason I say that is because the only "good" and semi-reasonable moral opposition against the main characters are both the Super Stupid Illogical strawman characters and super clearly villainous baddies.
Think about it. Look at every major villain or jerk that ever appeared in Ascension of the Red Princess, and look at how almost every single one of them fits the mold of a strawman archetype.
1. Lady Lung is Qinlongfei's strawman character meant to bash on mary sues and the villainess genre of the female character living a power fantasy lifestyle.
2. Tairou Sato is a strawman character meant to bash on super ignorant fandoms such as Shield Hero and Tairou exists only to have his Shield Hero logic facts be proven wrong by this fanfiction's (very stupid and uninteresting) worldbuilding aspects.
3. Keel is supposed to be Qinlongfei's deconstruction archetype meant to showcase why sometimes the good guys don't always get along. When in reality, Qinlongfei created the most despicable demi-human who is less of a good guy and more of a useless load that never helped fuel or disengage a conflict.
I have so many more strawman characters I've seen in Ascension of the Red Princess such as the likes of Keyaru, Astaroth, Axel, and so many more. But generally, Qinlongfei, your story merely has a FACADE of morally complex characters.
Ascension of the Red Princess is basically like the Realist Demon Lord, like how the latter story was criticized.
* Qinlongfei (chapter 51 quote): "This is honestly my problem with character like him, who I consider to be the faux smart protagonist. Many of their master plan really aren't that smart or brilliant. Their master plan are often pretty simple and flat out dumb, but they are simply made to look smart by having all of their opponent fall into them anyway."
This is also why I don't like Ascension of the Red Princess. Many of the main characters in this fanfiction aren't actually morally grey or morally complex in the actions they do with their efforts. Because the only opposition the main characters ever have are really dumb strawman characters that rile up the main characters into feeling like super guilty cowards who can't do anything right. The moral complexities are a facade, because the main characters treat the strawman characters as if they had a point, when strawman characters are too stupid to carry out their intended actions.
*******
Subsection 5: I don’t feel sorry that Naofumi is feeling remorseful of his actions. Naofumi is a coward and has no brain for how such a stupid strawman character surpasses even his own morally grey, but actually competent choices.
If there's one thing right you did about Maximilian, Qinlongfei. it is this. Maximilian convinced me that Naofumi is a sore loser. Naofumi is an insecure, worthless otaku who was never made for heroic material.
Naofumi doesn't do heroic deeds, because he's the good guy people should root for. Naofumi does good deeds because he is secretly an EGOMANIAC who wants to suck up all the glory and vanglorious praise others offer him.
And this description I have of Naofumi is specifically being jabbed towards this variation of him in Ascension of the Red Princess.
I'm already adamant about hating Canon!Naofumi. But now, Ambition!Naofumi earned my ire and I'm now convince that Ambition!Naofumi is just a big baby who won't act to do anything when his feelings have been hurt.
It's like whenever Naofumi shuts down like this, it's a cycle for Malty to back him up, and Naofumi would deny her words just to wangst like an ungrateful idiot.
Naofumi is no hero. He is the TRUE MORAL ABSOLUTIST. Naofumi is a moral absolutist because he is a PERFECTIONIST! When Naofumi fails to be a hero, he doesn't blame others for his mistakes. No, Naofumi becomes a big crybaby who whines about how he could have been more heroic, yet rejects every form of comfort, as if he is an ungrateful egomaniac who will only accept comforting words when he is in the absolute right of his so-called "purified heroism".
I think I'm done being an Ambition!Naofumi fan. I just hate how whiny this guy is.
And as a final quote from a cartoon called Invincible (2021), a character named immortal said the perfect quote that encapsulates exactly why i don't see Naofumi as a good guy.
* Immortal (Invincible season 3 episode 4 reference quote): "What kind of man... lets others die!? Because he won't ACT!? This is the only way!
Immortal from Invincible was right. Naofumi isn't a man. Naofumi is a childish baby whenever you put him into a morally grey situation. Naofumi will never change. He'll always stop and think so much, that by the time he stops brainstorming, someone else would have already finished the job for him.
I still haven't forgotten the type of dirty coward Naofumi proved himself to be when he let Nazgrel commit a mass execution of Astaroth's army. Naofumi could have voiced something. But Naofumi does what he always does: Brainstorm his remorse and do nothing when times really become desperate.
*****
This post is getting awfully long now, so I'll bring this review to an end. Even if I still have a few more talking points why this chapter was disengaging compared to the previous chapters that were at least enjoyable to an extent.
So I'll just leave a quick brief overview on the other subjects a character moments I heavily disliked in chapter 56.
1. I don’t feel sympathetic towards Malty’s comforting words towards Naofumi. She’s nothing but a one-note cheerleader towards her hunky hero. She’s no hero. She’s just a yandere who will do anything to protect poor Naofumi’s feelings, over acknowledging that certain villains and opposing sides have valid points in what they have to criticize. And one day, Malty and Naofumi will be a tragedy who will get themselves killed or seriously wounded.
2. The addition of Maximilian harmed the story, Qinlongfei. Not better. I expected Malty to deliver her special plan of burning up the Spirit Tortoise. But instead that foreshadowing was killed, just to make Maximilian look justified and glorified as the expanded "strawman hero". This is not a red herring. This is flat out just killing the tension and Chekhov’s gun moment built for Malty.
3. Awedale was only included as an ACCESSORY. NOT A CHARACTER. His allegiance with Maximilian is purely just to make Maximilian look more righteous and to provide a faux example of moral complexity to an already clearly stupid strawman character. This complaint is made worst by the fact that because this is Awedale's debut. Even if Awedale was foreshadowed in previous chapters. This guy’s only importance is that he sided with Maximilian. Awedale is just an accessory and not even a chekhov’s gun.
*****
I don't have anymore to say about chapter 56. So besides those talking points. I really disliked reading this chapter and I wasn't even satified when I finally reached the end. Ultimately, I don't care about Naofumi's moral code anymore. I just think of him as a whiny loser who can't act when situations call for it and is secretly an egomaniac who will only soak up comfort if it suits to benefit his desperation for validated glory.
I just hope, Qinlongfei, that the next time you release a chapter. Please don't start up a moral argument using a strawman character. This chapter really ruined my mood. And with the direction you plan on setting Maximilian into.
I'd say Maximilian's inclusion into the Spirit Tortoise arc was a disaster, even if your intent was to handle my previous criticism of Maximilian as a once bland strawman character.
Well, Qinlongfei. I have so many words I have to say. And these words aren't going to be fun. So to put what I have to say into story, it's this:
Chapter 56 is just straight up bad. I just feel enraged that I read this horrid chapter. I will admit, this chapter had an excellent hook that reeled me into the story. But the moment the main plot of this chapter came around. That being Maximilian.
It was at that moment, Qinlongfei. You killed your own story's entertainment value. You killed even Maximilian. That same killing even applies to Naofumi and Malty.
So now, I'll deliver my personal tastes of how I'd rate this terrible chapter I struggled to read: 1/10.
My rating is a 1/10. Because I have a BEHEMOTH LOAD COMPLAINTS explaining exactly how this chapter is the complete antitheses to establishing both a good story and actual "good" moral complexities between evil and efficiency.
Now without further ado, I'll slowly vent off my steam on why this chapter 56 earned my ire as being such an atrocious piece of writing I couldn't stomach. This chapter feels so much worse than anything the official Shield Hero canon has thrown out.
******
Praiseworthy Moment 1: General Anderson had such a tragic and good POV on how he is operating his mind.
Even though General Anderson is just a minor side character who probably won't be that important in the near future. I enjoyed how you fleshed out his thoughts, Qinlongfei. I liked the fact that despite General Anderson's bravado and reputation as a general.
Deep down, General Anderson has an instinctual sense of self-preservation that all living beings have. With that, I liked how General Anderson has the insecurities of a general who wants to uphold the status quo of bravery, but is secretly afraid deep down. Perhaps a knightly character like himself would serve as a great foil for Eclair and maybe even Flare.
****
Praiseworthy Moment 2: Kyo's story about Baoding is now taking effect. Thereby making an excellent chekhov's gun moment.
Back in chapter 55, Kyo made a big deal about why Baoding the Cook was known as the greatest butcher of all time. And with that, I eventually expected Baoding's lesson of the perfect cut through the weak points to eventually be applied into future chapters.
So for how you integrated Kyo's story like this, Qinlongfei. This was an excellent way to end Kyo's mini-sub plot on how well he can work as a partner with Seliph. I should also give Seliph credit as well for how he helped Kyo deliver these smoothe cuts as well.
****
Mini-Complaint: How does Naofumi know what a Terapagos pokemon is? The Terapagos was released in 2023-2024. Therefore logically, Terapagos SHOULDN’T HAVE EXISTED during Naofumi’s time.
I will be a little bit nit-picky. But I believe this is a massive oversight you forgot about Ascension of the Red Princess, Qinlongfei.
How is it, that Naofumi, a modern world otaku of Japan, has knowledge of a Terapagos pokemon? I understand that Naofumi knows the pokemon franchise. But Terapagos, HASN'T EVEN EXISTED. The Terapagos was released between 2023-2024 for Pokemon Horizons and the Pokemon Scarlet and Violet video game.
Meaning, that Naofumi and even the Pokemon company SHOULD NOT HAVE THE CAPACITY to create a Terapagos pokemon by the time of 2012-2019. Because those were the dates where Shield Hero debuted and therefore, Terapagos doesn't even exist by those time periods that Naofumi is currently in.
While this may be a minor complaint, Qinlongfei. You should have used a different pokemon name to describe the Spiritual Servant. Naofumi should have instead called the Spiritual Servant a Squirtle or any other older pokemon name. Not Terapagos.
******
THE MEGA-COMPLAINT: Maximilian is everything that's wrong with Ascension of the Red Princess. This guy was character assassinated. This guy is the strawest of all the strawman characters I have ever witnessed upon my reading of your book, Qinlongfei. This entire chapter was never about progressing the plot. Everything in chapter 56 was all about plumping its contents with Maximilian rants trying to fake a (BADLY WRITTEN EXAMPLE) of a so-called morally grey environment.
This is it... Qinlongfei... This is the main reason... that ruined chapter 56. This is why I consider this chapter to be the WORST of ALL the BADLY rated chapters I have ever given in your fanfiction. Even surpassing the bad quality of Ambition of the Red Princess chapter 154.
As of now, Qinlongfei, I find chapter 56 to be the most infuriating chapter... EVER!
As a clarification, I don't hate you as an author, Qinlongfei, or the general story as a whole. But besides that, I really disliked chapter 56. This chapter was straight up STALE and the ultimate example of RAGE-BAIT.
The entire conflict you set up, Qinlongfei, reeks of Aneko Yusagi levels worth of writing. The strawman levels of this chapter is over 9000 (Dragon Ball Z Vegeta reference). This chapter can essentially be summed up into this. And it feels very similar to all the writing flaws as to why Shield Hero fallen off the concept of rising:
"A strawman character is clearly being very ignorant and very stupid, just to make the main character look morally superior in terms of being a morally grey flawed anti-hero. Maximilian didn’t shoot himself in the leg and ruined the argument. Naofumi did and ruined himself. Naofumi’s only moral conflict is butting heads with a strawman idiot, rather than against someone who has valid points in morals."
I have made my introduction clear... And now, I'll commence my review why this chapter failed pretty horribly in trying to be a story.
******
Subsection 1: Maximilian was character assassinated. Maximilian is inconsistent in how competent he wants to act. Maximilian has an inconsistency problem to his character, or perhaps, Qinlongfei, Maximilian regressed his own characterization.
This is it, Qinlongfei. This is the first out of many reasons why I HATE MAXIMILIAN.
Back in chapter 51. You chose to specifically include Maximilian into the story for this purpose:
* Qinlongfei: Special thanks to PaperMania for Pointing out that Maximilian Washington ends up coming off too much like a strawman character, which made me decide to add him into this battle.
You added Maximilian to expand upon his character from his initial portrayal as a strawman character. But you've proved me wrong, Qinlongfei. This chapter 56 is essentially DEBUNKING all your previous statements and feats you wanted to make for Maximilian.
Qinlongfei, I appreciate how you attempted to expand Maximilian, because I gave out a very reasonable complaint beforehand. However, this is not the same case, because your attempts in handling that sort of criticism was washed away in what Maximilian did in this chapter.
Because to put this straight, Maximilian has a VERY inconsistent characterization. This guy was character regressed or probably even CHARACTER ASSASSINATED because of how mind bogglingly stupid he is:
During chapter 51-55, Maximilian acted as this semi-reliable ally who can prove himself to be a (semi)-competent ally who can help out in the battle against the Spirit Tortoise fight. Furthermore, Maximilian and his Rebel Alliance actually had reasonable points for why they fight so hard, and their strategies were actually really decent.
And for that, I actually was appreciative for how you depicted Maximilian as this semi-reliable character, Qinlongfei. HOWEVER, this chapter just shot the bullet and KILLED whatever character development and layering I thought Maximilian would have.
Instead, Qinlongfei, you REVEALED that Maximilian is just a plot device. Maximilian is even worst than a strawman character. Maximilian is quite literally just a PLOT DEVICE who at one moment acts semi-reasonable in his questionable methods of competence, to being SUPER DOWNRIGHT STUPID, that I can't stand Maximilian.
I know, Qinlongfei, that you don't intend Maximilian to be a strawman character. But the way you wrote and portrayed Maximilian in this chapter. It REEKS of Aneko Yusagi Writing of a seemingly competent character being degraded into a COMPLETE idiot, as a VERY SHALLOW AND CHEAP means of demonstrating moral complexities.
In summary, this is what I want to say here: Maximilian is still a strawman character who hasn’t really improved. This guy zig zags heavily between being a competent strawman character you can root for when times are desperate. But when there is peace, this guy becomes a total loser who invalidates all of his points and all his previously displayed competency is thrown out the window in favor of antagonizing neutral factions.
*****
Subsection 2: Maximilian provides. NO. MORAL. COMPLEXITIES IN THIS STORY.
Maximilian’s moral complexity is a facade and is straight up just dumb. The best description I have for him is that he is a strawman character and combination a karen that’s being a wild activist who’s just super stupid with zero good characterization. This further proves just how illogically inconsistent Maximilian is as a strawman character.
Because back when I made a review chapter 49, I detailing why I hated Axel as a character. And right now, Maximilian is becoming a very clear example of being the "anti-strawman archetype".
The reason I say this is because of this: The only prominent action both Maximilian and Axel have done is TRASH-TALK THEIR OWN ALLIES AGAINST THEIR OWN SELF-PRESERVATION!
Maximilian and Axel are plot devices. These guys are anti-strawman plot devices, because they only exist in the narrative to trash talk any character you believe needs to be dogpiled with harsh comments, Qinlongfei.
I’m not even impressed by Maximilian. Because somehow, the words of a strawman characters like Maximilian can reel in the hearts of good hearted morally grey people. But the words of a morally grey/villainous baddie lacks the charisma to prove their arguments as genuinely impacting.
****
Subsection 3: This chapter was never about writing a plot. This is just a filler episode, where a bunch of bickering happens with a clearly stupid strawman character. This is exactly like the terrible chapter 36 that made me dislike Malty as being an abhorrent brat towards "inferior politicians".
To keep this short, this chapter had minimal to zero plot progression. Because I can only recall three important moments worth noting:
1. The Spirit Tortoise is defeated, albeit with some complications.
2. Maximilian antagonizes everyone by calling Naofumi and every other noble as evil slavers.
3. Adewale joins Maximilian to prove the latter is a self-righteous strawman character. (I personally think Adewale is a prop who actually ruins Maximilian as a character)
Because of these very minimal and uneventful plot points. I hate this chapter for being one giant bickerfest of strawmen characters trying to prove which one is right and which one is wrong.
So to give my own opinion of the subject matters: I declare every character to be a cowardly whiny idiot. I'm also including Malty and Naofumi in this argument as well. Because even though team Naofumi had a CLEARLY more intellectual and MORALLY-GREY solutions that are reliable.
Somehow the narrative treats Maximilian as the reasonable strawman character, when he clearly demonstrated himself to be the biggest idiot whose morals have ZERO FLEXIBILITY!
Honestly, the strawman conflict and moral arguments are really shallow. I can't convince myself that Maximilian is a good guy or if Naofumi's team are good guys, when the only thing they have ever done is bicker a bunch of talking points.
******
Subsection 4: Ascension of the Red Princess doesn’t have moral complexity. The only moral complexity is this: “Morally grey smart people vs. Super Stupid Illogical strawman characters and super clearly villainous baddies that no one actively takes action against”.
This isn't just a problem I have with Maximilian. This is a problem I have with your entire fanfiction, Qinlongfei. The reason why I hate Ascension of the Red Princess SO MUCH MORE than Ambition of the Red Princess is because of this.
Ascension of the Red Princess doesn’t have moral complexity. The reason I say that is because the only "good" and semi-reasonable moral opposition against the main characters are both the Super Stupid Illogical strawman characters and super clearly villainous baddies.
Think about it. Look at every major villain or jerk that ever appeared in Ascension of the Red Princess, and look at how almost every single one of them fits the mold of a strawman archetype.
1. Lady Lung is Qinlongfei's strawman character meant to bash on mary sues and the villainess genre of the female character living a power fantasy lifestyle.
2. Tairou Sato is a strawman character meant to bash on super ignorant fandoms such as Shield Hero and Tairou exists only to have his Shield Hero logic facts be proven wrong by this fanfiction's (very stupid and uninteresting) worldbuilding aspects.
3. Keel is supposed to be Qinlongfei's deconstruction archetype meant to showcase why sometimes the good guys don't always get along. When in reality, Qinlongfei created the most despicable demi-human who is less of a good guy and more of a useless load that never helped fuel or disengage a conflict.
I have so many more strawman characters I've seen in Ascension of the Red Princess such as the likes of Keyaru, Astaroth, Axel, and so many more. But generally, Qinlongfei, your story merely has a FACADE of morally complex characters.
Ascension of the Red Princess is basically like the Realist Demon Lord, like how the latter story was criticized.
* Qinlongfei (chapter 51 quote): "This is honestly my problem with character like him, who I consider to be the faux smart protagonist. Many of their master plan really aren't that smart or brilliant. Their master plan are often pretty simple and flat out dumb, but they are simply made to look smart by having all of their opponent fall into them anyway."
This is also why I don't like Ascension of the Red Princess. Many of the main characters in this fanfiction aren't actually morally grey or morally complex in the actions they do with their efforts. Because the only opposition the main characters ever have are really dumb strawman characters that rile up the main characters into feeling like super guilty cowards who can't do anything right. The moral complexities are a facade, because the main characters treat the strawman characters as if they had a point, when strawman characters are too stupid to carry out their intended actions.
*******
Subsection 5: I don’t feel sorry that Naofumi is feeling remorseful of his actions. Naofumi is a coward and has no brain for how such a stupid strawman character surpasses even his own morally grey, but actually competent choices.
If there's one thing right you did about Maximilian, Qinlongfei. it is this. Maximilian convinced me that Naofumi is a sore loser. Naofumi is an insecure, worthless otaku who was never made for heroic material.
Naofumi doesn't do heroic deeds, because he's the good guy people should root for. Naofumi does good deeds because he is secretly an EGOMANIAC who wants to suck up all the glory and vanglorious praise others offer him.
And this description I have of Naofumi is specifically being jabbed towards this variation of him in Ascension of the Red Princess.
I'm already adamant about hating Canon!Naofumi. But now, Ambition!Naofumi earned my ire and I'm now convince that Ambition!Naofumi is just a big baby who won't act to do anything when his feelings have been hurt.
It's like whenever Naofumi shuts down like this, it's a cycle for Malty to back him up, and Naofumi would deny her words just to wangst like an ungrateful idiot.
Naofumi is no hero. He is the TRUE MORAL ABSOLUTIST. Naofumi is a moral absolutist because he is a PERFECTIONIST! When Naofumi fails to be a hero, he doesn't blame others for his mistakes. No, Naofumi becomes a big crybaby who whines about how he could have been more heroic, yet rejects every form of comfort, as if he is an ungrateful egomaniac who will only accept comforting words when he is in the absolute right of his so-called "purified heroism".
I think I'm done being an Ambition!Naofumi fan. I just hate how whiny this guy is.
And as a final quote from a cartoon called Invincible (2021), a character named immortal said the perfect quote that encapsulates exactly why i don't see Naofumi as a good guy.
* Immortal (Invincible season 3 episode 4 reference quote): "What kind of man... lets others die!? Because he won't ACT!? This is the only way!
Immortal from Invincible was right. Naofumi isn't a man. Naofumi is a childish baby whenever you put him into a morally grey situation. Naofumi will never change. He'll always stop and think so much, that by the time he stops brainstorming, someone else would have already finished the job for him.
I still haven't forgotten the type of dirty coward Naofumi proved himself to be when he let Nazgrel commit a mass execution of Astaroth's army. Naofumi could have voiced something. But Naofumi does what he always does: Brainstorm his remorse and do nothing when times really become desperate.
*****
This post is getting awfully long now, so I'll bring this review to an end. Even if I still have a few more talking points why this chapter was disengaging compared to the previous chapters that were at least enjoyable to an extent.
So I'll just leave a quick brief overview on the other subjects a character moments I heavily disliked in chapter 56.
1. I don’t feel sympathetic towards Malty’s comforting words towards Naofumi. She’s nothing but a one-note cheerleader towards her hunky hero. She’s no hero. She’s just a yandere who will do anything to protect poor Naofumi’s feelings, over acknowledging that certain villains and opposing sides have valid points in what they have to criticize. And one day, Malty and Naofumi will be a tragedy who will get themselves killed or seriously wounded.
2. The addition of Maximilian harmed the story, Qinlongfei. Not better. I expected Malty to deliver her special plan of burning up the Spirit Tortoise. But instead that foreshadowing was killed, just to make Maximilian look justified and glorified as the expanded "strawman hero". This is not a red herring. This is flat out just killing the tension and Chekhov’s gun moment built for Malty.
3. Awedale was only included as an ACCESSORY. NOT A CHARACTER. His allegiance with Maximilian is purely just to make Maximilian look more righteous and to provide a faux example of moral complexity to an already clearly stupid strawman character. This complaint is made worst by the fact that because this is Awedale's debut. Even if Awedale was foreshadowed in previous chapters. This guy’s only importance is that he sided with Maximilian. Awedale is just an accessory and not even a chekhov’s gun.
*****
I don't have anymore to say about chapter 56. So besides those talking points. I really disliked reading this chapter and I wasn't even satified when I finally reached the end. Ultimately, I don't care about Naofumi's moral code anymore. I just think of him as a whiny loser who can't act when situations call for it and is secretly an egomaniac who will only soak up comfort if it suits to benefit his desperation for validated glory.
I just hope, Qinlongfei, that the next time you release a chapter. Please don't start up a moral argument using a strawman character. This chapter really ruined my mood. And with the direction you plan on setting Maximilian into.
I'd say Maximilian's inclusion into the Spirit Tortoise arc was a disaster, even if your intent was to handle my previous criticism of Maximilian as a once bland strawman character.
2/19 c53 Svampmannen
Whew, what a ride this whole battle has been. And already it looks like the aftermath will lead to interesting things. I think that this story-arc has been a good example of how a large-scale battle against one massive opponent should be written. Nicely done.
That being said, the final defeat of the Turtle felt a bit anti-climactic in my oppinion. The big hammer attack has been built up for a while now and I kinda expected a more vivid description of the attack as it impacts against its' target. While I get that this isn't an auditory medium, I think it would've benefited more from describing the sound and reverberations of the attack, both as it moves and as it connects. And similar with how quickly the corpse just disintegrated. I would've liked to revel a bit more in the catharsis of the turtle's death is what I'm saying.
And while I found the verbal spar between Naofumi and Hammerboy engaging, the moment felt like kindof a repeat of what happened after Naofumi's duel against Motoyasu. With even the same result. I really don't think that Naofumi needed to learn the lesson again, and aside from maybe earning an ounce of respect from Azula, I don't see this contributing to any meaningful change in the status quo.
But regardless, I have definitely enjoyed this chapter and story-arc, and am looking forward to more.
Whew, what a ride this whole battle has been. And already it looks like the aftermath will lead to interesting things. I think that this story-arc has been a good example of how a large-scale battle against one massive opponent should be written. Nicely done.
That being said, the final defeat of the Turtle felt a bit anti-climactic in my oppinion. The big hammer attack has been built up for a while now and I kinda expected a more vivid description of the attack as it impacts against its' target. While I get that this isn't an auditory medium, I think it would've benefited more from describing the sound and reverberations of the attack, both as it moves and as it connects. And similar with how quickly the corpse just disintegrated. I would've liked to revel a bit more in the catharsis of the turtle's death is what I'm saying.
And while I found the verbal spar between Naofumi and Hammerboy engaging, the moment felt like kindof a repeat of what happened after Naofumi's duel against Motoyasu. With even the same result. I really don't think that Naofumi needed to learn the lesson again, and aside from maybe earning an ounce of respect from Azula, I don't see this contributing to any meaningful change in the status quo.
But regardless, I have definitely enjoyed this chapter and story-arc, and am looking forward to more.
2/17 c56 RonaldM40196867
When I think of Hammer Hero I think of Hammer Time!
It’s amazing the damage a turtle can do.
Only a true legend is willing to do what it takes.
Kaiju is so awesome!
Happy Presidents’ Day!
When I think of Hammer Hero I think of Hammer Time!
It’s amazing the damage a turtle can do.
Only a true legend is willing to do what it takes.
Kaiju is so awesome!
Happy Presidents’ Day!
2/16 c52 DJman248
Here I am with another (very late very behind) review! Im well aware I am a fair bit behind on chapters, but Im hoping to catch up soon!
Now, on to the review:
The title definitely is poignant and describes Astaroth aptly in this chapter. He lost, but he is incapable, thanks to his overwhelming arrogance, to accept it with grace simply leave. No, he instead has to set loose the spirit tortoise and potentially leave Medea to ita death or near for the sake of his own satisfaction, pretty much proving his previous assertations on being completely practical to be self serving lies.
I can honestly admit that I didn't quite expect Astaroth to leave the story the way he did, but I also can't say that it isn't plausible. Aultcray's assessment on Astaroth's two critical mistakes certainly felt accurate, especially with the point about him making a complete enemy of all the countries by forgoing all morality and targeting civilians with no discrimination. It brings to mind the old saying: "an enemy of my enemy is my friend", and in this case, Melromarc found itself suddenly having more friends than it knows what to do with, even if its temporary. All thanks to Astaroth taking for granted the degree by which the ruling class and the heroes were self serving and how willing were they to actually put aside their egos when faced with someone they all agree is unacceptable by any reasonable measure.
Its ironic in a way. If Astaroth didn't involve civilians without a care in the world, there probably would have been a chance that at least one or two countries wouldn't have been so willing to work together with their rivals/archenemies as they ended up being.
On another note, Kyo is still showing that nice balance of still being his arrogant self but being less hostile due to Astaroth occupying the majority of his animosity at the moment...which now makes me realize that with Astaroth out of the picture now he will be more free to pursue his more personal goals in Medea...if he even bothers to stay, that is.
Sidenote on this point, I think Kyo's interactions with Seliph were pretty amusing. Mainly because the contrast between the two makes for a decent back and forth. Only negative I can give is a continuation of what I mentioned beforw regarding Seliph. It feels like he's a tad more...reckless in his battlefield leadership than expected, which almost feels , in this case, like a somewhat cheap way to showcase Kyo's intelligence. It's especially noticeable considering he's much older than his canon counterpart, who I could wholeheartedly see being reckless without guidance like someone such as Lewyn on hand.
On another note, Keyaru suffering extreme karma for his arrogance was pretty poignant. I also just realized (unless I realized it before and somehow forgot) that in Medea, where the heroes are part of the foundation of the world's several religions, calling yourself a hero could easily be seen as rather blasphemous, especially when I consider how they immediately call otherworldly heroes "false" or "demons" and what not. Like a case of how another world's angels are one world's devils or something similar. Also...Im not sure but...did Naofumi actually give him a potion after Dio's warning or just...decided not to? Im asking because even after checking I can't quite seem to find what decision Naofumi made regarding that.
Lastly, before I get to a couple of specific observations, I can see that everyone is finally getting to deal with the tortoise. Sato's information has been received, and now they are all preparing to stop it. Of course, I haven't forgotten how you mentioned that the tortoise is much stronger than canon, and that there's an otherworldly tree growing in it at the moment. I can imagine that this will be much much more difficult than usual.
Now, onto those two observations I made that I wanted to share.
One of them is regarding the scene where Naofumi made the decision to silently stand by as Nazgrel and his raiders showed no mercy even to those that were surrendering. On one hand, I think it serves as another key moment where Naofumi compromises on his personal morals due to pragmatism. It works pretty well, especially since it gives fuel for future contemplation on his part. On the other hand, I have to wonder...was Nazgrel suppose to come off as if he was just giving an excuse to be merciless? I ask because well, stress and nerves as a reason to kill surrendering combatants feel like...quite a weak excuse. Especially since they weren't the only ones who were undee stress or nerve. Even more so when he gives the pragmatic reason afterwards casually as if it were just an afterthought. This especially feels true since there's several other better excuses for this moment in particular. Such as how, as part of Astaroth's army, they are, as far as the soldiers are concerned, complicit in the slaughter of civilians all over the world. Instead...well, it almost feels like Nazgrel would have had his men be merciless regardless of "stress" or "nerves" and what not.
Its why Im asking. Cause if it was, I could see this being indicative of Silvelt's warrior culture frowning upon mercy on the battlefield, which gives some credence to Melromarc's accusation of Silvelt being barbaric to a degree, which can also give some nice fuel for Naofumi and his friends for when they're scrutinizing Silvelt as a country just as with Melromarc.
Second observation I made is...honestly a veeeery small nitpick at worst. I noticed on three separate occasions on this chapter where it felt as if...well, as if the character speaking was using vocabulary that didn't quite feel in character for them for a small moment. One instance is Aultcray, when he was mentioning how Astaroth "really pissed everyone off". Another was when Yatsuhashi used the word "creepy", and lastly (though perhaps the one Im not quire sure about) when Dio told everyone to stop "fucking around".
These three instances felt a bit odd because...well, these characters usually don't talk like that. All three are rather proper with their speech (Yatsuhashi in particular speaking a bit archaically, even), so these three moments took me out of what was going on for a split second. But only for that long, because what the character is saying isn't incorrect in none of the three moments, but rather, it felt like the way they were speaking in those moments (or in the case of Yatsuhashi, using the word "creepy") felt more like what I'd expect from one of the cardinal heroes, since they are more likely to use modern language and slang. Again, its a nitpick and it doesn't really affect what's happening, it's just that it was three little moments that felt a bit off.
But that's it! All in all, I enjoyed the chapter. Now on to the next one!
Here I am with another (very late very behind) review! Im well aware I am a fair bit behind on chapters, but Im hoping to catch up soon!
Now, on to the review:
The title definitely is poignant and describes Astaroth aptly in this chapter. He lost, but he is incapable, thanks to his overwhelming arrogance, to accept it with grace simply leave. No, he instead has to set loose the spirit tortoise and potentially leave Medea to ita death or near for the sake of his own satisfaction, pretty much proving his previous assertations on being completely practical to be self serving lies.
I can honestly admit that I didn't quite expect Astaroth to leave the story the way he did, but I also can't say that it isn't plausible. Aultcray's assessment on Astaroth's two critical mistakes certainly felt accurate, especially with the point about him making a complete enemy of all the countries by forgoing all morality and targeting civilians with no discrimination. It brings to mind the old saying: "an enemy of my enemy is my friend", and in this case, Melromarc found itself suddenly having more friends than it knows what to do with, even if its temporary. All thanks to Astaroth taking for granted the degree by which the ruling class and the heroes were self serving and how willing were they to actually put aside their egos when faced with someone they all agree is unacceptable by any reasonable measure.
Its ironic in a way. If Astaroth didn't involve civilians without a care in the world, there probably would have been a chance that at least one or two countries wouldn't have been so willing to work together with their rivals/archenemies as they ended up being.
On another note, Kyo is still showing that nice balance of still being his arrogant self but being less hostile due to Astaroth occupying the majority of his animosity at the moment...which now makes me realize that with Astaroth out of the picture now he will be more free to pursue his more personal goals in Medea...if he even bothers to stay, that is.
Sidenote on this point, I think Kyo's interactions with Seliph were pretty amusing. Mainly because the contrast between the two makes for a decent back and forth. Only negative I can give is a continuation of what I mentioned beforw regarding Seliph. It feels like he's a tad more...reckless in his battlefield leadership than expected, which almost feels , in this case, like a somewhat cheap way to showcase Kyo's intelligence. It's especially noticeable considering he's much older than his canon counterpart, who I could wholeheartedly see being reckless without guidance like someone such as Lewyn on hand.
On another note, Keyaru suffering extreme karma for his arrogance was pretty poignant. I also just realized (unless I realized it before and somehow forgot) that in Medea, where the heroes are part of the foundation of the world's several religions, calling yourself a hero could easily be seen as rather blasphemous, especially when I consider how they immediately call otherworldly heroes "false" or "demons" and what not. Like a case of how another world's angels are one world's devils or something similar. Also...Im not sure but...did Naofumi actually give him a potion after Dio's warning or just...decided not to? Im asking because even after checking I can't quite seem to find what decision Naofumi made regarding that.
Lastly, before I get to a couple of specific observations, I can see that everyone is finally getting to deal with the tortoise. Sato's information has been received, and now they are all preparing to stop it. Of course, I haven't forgotten how you mentioned that the tortoise is much stronger than canon, and that there's an otherworldly tree growing in it at the moment. I can imagine that this will be much much more difficult than usual.
Now, onto those two observations I made that I wanted to share.
One of them is regarding the scene where Naofumi made the decision to silently stand by as Nazgrel and his raiders showed no mercy even to those that were surrendering. On one hand, I think it serves as another key moment where Naofumi compromises on his personal morals due to pragmatism. It works pretty well, especially since it gives fuel for future contemplation on his part. On the other hand, I have to wonder...was Nazgrel suppose to come off as if he was just giving an excuse to be merciless? I ask because well, stress and nerves as a reason to kill surrendering combatants feel like...quite a weak excuse. Especially since they weren't the only ones who were undee stress or nerve. Even more so when he gives the pragmatic reason afterwards casually as if it were just an afterthought. This especially feels true since there's several other better excuses for this moment in particular. Such as how, as part of Astaroth's army, they are, as far as the soldiers are concerned, complicit in the slaughter of civilians all over the world. Instead...well, it almost feels like Nazgrel would have had his men be merciless regardless of "stress" or "nerves" and what not.
Its why Im asking. Cause if it was, I could see this being indicative of Silvelt's warrior culture frowning upon mercy on the battlefield, which gives some credence to Melromarc's accusation of Silvelt being barbaric to a degree, which can also give some nice fuel for Naofumi and his friends for when they're scrutinizing Silvelt as a country just as with Melromarc.
Second observation I made is...honestly a veeeery small nitpick at worst. I noticed on three separate occasions on this chapter where it felt as if...well, as if the character speaking was using vocabulary that didn't quite feel in character for them for a small moment. One instance is Aultcray, when he was mentioning how Astaroth "really pissed everyone off". Another was when Yatsuhashi used the word "creepy", and lastly (though perhaps the one Im not quire sure about) when Dio told everyone to stop "fucking around".
These three instances felt a bit odd because...well, these characters usually don't talk like that. All three are rather proper with their speech (Yatsuhashi in particular speaking a bit archaically, even), so these three moments took me out of what was going on for a split second. But only for that long, because what the character is saying isn't incorrect in none of the three moments, but rather, it felt like the way they were speaking in those moments (or in the case of Yatsuhashi, using the word "creepy") felt more like what I'd expect from one of the cardinal heroes, since they are more likely to use modern language and slang. Again, its a nitpick and it doesn't really affect what's happening, it's just that it was three little moments that felt a bit off.
But that's it! All in all, I enjoyed the chapter. Now on to the next one!
2/13 c55 TVTropesPapermania
Surprisingly, about this chapter. It was really well written and I don't have much to complain about certain flaws. So for what I have to say about chapter 55, this definitely was an improvement to the previous chapter 54.
If I had to list out any flaws I had for chapter 55. The only problems I spotted were the generalized concept of the "unhooking POV" introductions and Tairou Sato devolving into a strawman character that now lacks substance as a character.
However, despite the problems I have with chapter 55. My positive rating for this chapter is an 8/10 or 7.5/10. Because I have a lot more of a positive opinion with the many great character moments this chapter has, than its occasional badly written portions.
*****
Complaint 1: A new recent problem I could spot is the Unhooking POV introductions that relate nothing into the plot.
In this complaint, it's an ongoing problem I have been spotting since chapter 50. It's that the introductory POV, the very first thing a reader sees when opening a chapter, is being a disengaging experience.
Because whenever I look at the first POV a chapter releases, it's always focused on a completely unrelated character or a completely unrelated event scenario that is not happening for the present plot.
So here are my examples of these types of introductory POVS I consider uneventful and disconnected to the main plot that the story is trying to tell:
** Chapter 48: The POV started off with Celestine Chalphy and Viscount Raleigh complaining and scheming about their relationship problems. Nothing indicated that their conversation would at all be related to the Spirit Tortoise problem. Even if this is a chekhov's gun for future plot points, this introductory POV is too forgettable, too foreign, and is ultimately just a random shoehorn. Leading to readers either forgetting or not remembering far enough for this introductory scene to be worth viewing.
** Chapter 49: The POV started off with Draco Malfoy talking about how Faubley politics suck and he talks to another Harry Potter character... and that's really it. This POV is also super disconnected and inapplicable to even be worth involving with the main Spirit Tortoise plot. This is probably another example for a chekhov's gun for future story arcs. But ultimately, this POV lacks anything worth of value when it comes to hooking the audience into the main current plot. And as a result, readers may not even remember when and how this POV should have even be valued for the next super future chapters to be released related to it.
** Chapter 54: Tairou Sato enters the scene and worries for Naofumi's safety. All whilst Tairou rambles random Shield Hero lore as the most stereotypical strawman archetype. But ultimately, this POV is also another example of it being disconnected with the main Spirit Tortoise arc. Tairou may have inputted his personal feelings into the picture, but it neither characterizes what his personality is like, and Tairou doesn't even narrate the actual events of the chapter. It ultimately resulted in the POV being just another excuse to jab more Shield Hero archetypes.
** Chapter 55: In the beginning of this chapter, General Ironwood spectates the battlefield to talk a little bit about Lady Louise and the incoming Siltvelt cavalry... And that's really it. His POV, too, is also disjointed from the current plot and topic of chapter 55. It's great that General Ironwood spotted the incoming Siltvelt fighters. But the Siltvelt fighters are not at all related to the main plot. The soldiers are just random background NPCs that are padding the current plot. And they don't even get involved with how their actions would do anything significant. The Siltvelt fighters may have been a chekhov's gun for a few recent future chapters. But their appearance should have instead been reorganized into Naofumi's POV to better hook the readers into Maximilian's Spirit Bomb plan.
******
Complaint 2: Tairou Sato is really annoying. He is no longer humorous and comical anymore. Currently as of now, Tairou is a really bland strawman archetype that lacks anything interesting in his character.
I know that Tairou Sato at his core is meant to be a strawman archetype meant to mock overzealous fandoms or stories that have exaggerated and overrated story qualities like with Shield Hero. But as of now, his characterization is clearly reaching the sloppy territory. Because aside from the fact he is far less humorous than how he had previously appeared as a strawman archetype that rambles random Shield Hero fact.
Tairou Sato's character now feels like it's comparable to a plot device. Because this is his role in chapter 55:
He doesn't exist to annoy Naofumi. What I think it's going to happen is that Tairou is going to egg Naofumi into actually using the Wrath Shield.
And for how that's going to be built-up. It sounds really badly done when I'm reading it like this. It's like Tairou is either planting a very obvious chekhov's gun to foreshadow how useless the Wrath Shield is like.
If an event like that were to ever happen. I would just be annoyed that it actually did happen. Because this further cements what Tairou is supposed to be - a punching that's meant to be proven wrong.
*****
Because this is how Tairou is being characterized:
* Step 1: Tairou thinks up an idea and thinks relying on Canon Shield hero is useful.
* Step 2: Tairou begs Naofumi or any other character to follow in his suggested idea.
* Step 3: The character or Naofumi takes up Tairou's offer.
* Step 4: Tairou's plan is either effective or just downright detrimental when the chosen character actually follows through.
* Step 5: Tairou would hopelessly insist that his canon Shield Hero lore would eventually play itself up correctly. Or alternatively, Tairou receives his comeuppance when his actions backfire with incompetency, and another character berates him to be an idiot.
This is essentially what Tairou is right now - a boring plot device that exists to be disproven. If somehow, his delusional ideas of Shield Hero manage to move forward the plot. All it really does is prove that Tairou is either a strawman punching bag to be proven wrong, or the dramatic tension wouldn't be all that dramatic. Instead, all the conflict would be most centered around bashing why Shield Hero lore sucks and that Tairou's plan isn't all that useful and only holds others back.
With that in mind, I don't have a lot of entertainment in the moment Naofumi actually uses the wrath shield. It's predictable that either Tairou is pleased with his plan working in action, or everyone else would beat up Tairou for promoting such a stupid idea in the first place, when Naofumi's wrath shield backfires.
*******
Praiseworthy Moment 1: Malty has excellent flaws when it comes to trust issues. As she can’t convince herself to believe the prospect of a wholly good person, without overthinking paranoid thoughts about deceit and destruction with the Hammer Hero. Malty’s trust issues could serve as great conflict tension when she unintentionally frustrates/drives off potential allies. This may even foil and create a parallel dynamic between how Aultcray was once super paranoid towards Naofumi as Shield Hero, and future allies as traitors.
In Malty's POV, I'm really hyped with the direction you are taking her, Qinlongfei. Because I'm enjoying how her flawed characterization is really taking her. It makes me hope that there would eventually come a time where her own distrustful nature ends up backfire spectacularly in her face, just as how a tragic hero would.
Because based on how Malty viewed the situation in here. She immediately resorted to becoming fearful the moment she hears of Maximilian. The moment she hears of what Maximilian is doing. It prompts Malty into assuming that Maximilian would perform a radically dangerous action while everyone else is fighting the current threat.
Based on that single character moment. It hypes me up for the possibility that someday, Malty's harsh judgment of others would eventually backfire into her face and she'll end up making an enemy of a potential ally.
Just look at Aultcray also. When he first saw Naofumi as the Shield Hero, Aultcray immediately suspected the Shield Hero as someone who's untrustworthy and pure evil at heart. Even when Malty sided with Naofumi, Aultcray instead persisted in saying that Naofumi had somehow brainwashed/blackmailed Malty into commande.
With such a distrustful outlook on Malty. I feel compelled to parallel her character dynamic with Aultcray, if the chance ever comes up. Both Malty and Aultcray feel so much similar after seeing just how distrustful they can be as individuals.
Just look at chapter 5. Malty almost wanted to manipulate Flare into doing endless tests, just so she could pressure what Flare's limits are, based on paranoid trust issues. With a scene like that, I hope that in the future, Malty's own distrust would backfire into her face, and perhaps even maybe. Malty would understand what it means to be a failure, similarly to how Aultcray's distrust towards Naofumi had ruined their family altogether.
Hopefully by the future chapters, there would come more scenes where Malty and Aultcray's paranoia is meant to become foils to each other. Where Malty is still overly paranoid over traitorous allies, Aultcray could dive in and show her what it means to have faith in trusting others. Because with the way Malty is acting right now, this could very well connect her into further understanding how Aultcray's mindset works when he is strict on protecting family at all costs.
*******
* Praiseworthy Moment 2: Kyo and Seliph's character dynamics are working greatly here. And I also enjoyed the story that Kyo had spoken about. As it's an excellent way to pave an introduction this "Baoding" character.
With how Seliph is having his character role being treated like this. I'm really starting to like him by a lot now. Because previously for Seliph, my initial disdain for him was that he felt like a badly done character that exists purely to reference random Fire Emblem lore.
However, in these recent chapters, Seliph has become one of my favorite characters I like in the story. Because he now has an established personality as an optimistic and patient guy who can roll well with the arrogance of Kyo.
Although I have minimal interest towards what Seliph's family relationships is like in Ascension of the Red Princess and in Fire Emblem. I do enjoy how his characterization is meant to further characterize Kyo's positive aspects and contrast his arrogant personality.
****
Into Kyo, he is also very entertaining as well. Primarily because his storytelling of Baoding has a lot of useful content in how to handle the Spirit Tortoise. As well as serving to be an excellent way to introduce a reference character.
With an introduction to Baoding like this, I did not feel like it broke the story immersion. Instead, Kyo was able to treat Baoding as an integrated legendary cooker who could either establish himself as someone who can give great culinary lessons or be a powerful warrior that can be involved in future later battles.
So for now, I just want to say that Baoding left a good first impression in how the guy and his feats were mentioned.
******
Praiseworthy Moment 3: Keel is actually being likable now.
In this chapter, I really did enjoy Keel's portrayal in this chapter. I know beforehand, I frequently bashed Keel as the worst character ever. However, in this chapter, she's portrayed so much more benevolently and and entertaining.
The best scene has to be Keel helping out Naofumi. Though it's clear that Keel still hates Naofumi and is probably still a racist towards humans at this point. It's also clear that Keel is going to be a more positive friend when moving forward for how she'll put aside her personal feelings to protect that people that Raphtalia loves.
Hopefully by future chapters, Keel would open up to see Naofumi and Malty as great parents, instead of how she initially perceived them as manipulators.
*****
This was a great chapter and had a lot of entertaining moments I enjoyed viewing into.
Surprisingly, about this chapter. It was really well written and I don't have much to complain about certain flaws. So for what I have to say about chapter 55, this definitely was an improvement to the previous chapter 54.
If I had to list out any flaws I had for chapter 55. The only problems I spotted were the generalized concept of the "unhooking POV" introductions and Tairou Sato devolving into a strawman character that now lacks substance as a character.
However, despite the problems I have with chapter 55. My positive rating for this chapter is an 8/10 or 7.5/10. Because I have a lot more of a positive opinion with the many great character moments this chapter has, than its occasional badly written portions.
*****
Complaint 1: A new recent problem I could spot is the Unhooking POV introductions that relate nothing into the plot.
In this complaint, it's an ongoing problem I have been spotting since chapter 50. It's that the introductory POV, the very first thing a reader sees when opening a chapter, is being a disengaging experience.
Because whenever I look at the first POV a chapter releases, it's always focused on a completely unrelated character or a completely unrelated event scenario that is not happening for the present plot.
So here are my examples of these types of introductory POVS I consider uneventful and disconnected to the main plot that the story is trying to tell:
** Chapter 48: The POV started off with Celestine Chalphy and Viscount Raleigh complaining and scheming about their relationship problems. Nothing indicated that their conversation would at all be related to the Spirit Tortoise problem. Even if this is a chekhov's gun for future plot points, this introductory POV is too forgettable, too foreign, and is ultimately just a random shoehorn. Leading to readers either forgetting or not remembering far enough for this introductory scene to be worth viewing.
** Chapter 49: The POV started off with Draco Malfoy talking about how Faubley politics suck and he talks to another Harry Potter character... and that's really it. This POV is also super disconnected and inapplicable to even be worth involving with the main Spirit Tortoise plot. This is probably another example for a chekhov's gun for future story arcs. But ultimately, this POV lacks anything worth of value when it comes to hooking the audience into the main current plot. And as a result, readers may not even remember when and how this POV should have even be valued for the next super future chapters to be released related to it.
** Chapter 54: Tairou Sato enters the scene and worries for Naofumi's safety. All whilst Tairou rambles random Shield Hero lore as the most stereotypical strawman archetype. But ultimately, this POV is also another example of it being disconnected with the main Spirit Tortoise arc. Tairou may have inputted his personal feelings into the picture, but it neither characterizes what his personality is like, and Tairou doesn't even narrate the actual events of the chapter. It ultimately resulted in the POV being just another excuse to jab more Shield Hero archetypes.
** Chapter 55: In the beginning of this chapter, General Ironwood spectates the battlefield to talk a little bit about Lady Louise and the incoming Siltvelt cavalry... And that's really it. His POV, too, is also disjointed from the current plot and topic of chapter 55. It's great that General Ironwood spotted the incoming Siltvelt fighters. But the Siltvelt fighters are not at all related to the main plot. The soldiers are just random background NPCs that are padding the current plot. And they don't even get involved with how their actions would do anything significant. The Siltvelt fighters may have been a chekhov's gun for a few recent future chapters. But their appearance should have instead been reorganized into Naofumi's POV to better hook the readers into Maximilian's Spirit Bomb plan.
******
Complaint 2: Tairou Sato is really annoying. He is no longer humorous and comical anymore. Currently as of now, Tairou is a really bland strawman archetype that lacks anything interesting in his character.
I know that Tairou Sato at his core is meant to be a strawman archetype meant to mock overzealous fandoms or stories that have exaggerated and overrated story qualities like with Shield Hero. But as of now, his characterization is clearly reaching the sloppy territory. Because aside from the fact he is far less humorous than how he had previously appeared as a strawman archetype that rambles random Shield Hero fact.
Tairou Sato's character now feels like it's comparable to a plot device. Because this is his role in chapter 55:
He doesn't exist to annoy Naofumi. What I think it's going to happen is that Tairou is going to egg Naofumi into actually using the Wrath Shield.
And for how that's going to be built-up. It sounds really badly done when I'm reading it like this. It's like Tairou is either planting a very obvious chekhov's gun to foreshadow how useless the Wrath Shield is like.
If an event like that were to ever happen. I would just be annoyed that it actually did happen. Because this further cements what Tairou is supposed to be - a punching that's meant to be proven wrong.
*****
Because this is how Tairou is being characterized:
* Step 1: Tairou thinks up an idea and thinks relying on Canon Shield hero is useful.
* Step 2: Tairou begs Naofumi or any other character to follow in his suggested idea.
* Step 3: The character or Naofumi takes up Tairou's offer.
* Step 4: Tairou's plan is either effective or just downright detrimental when the chosen character actually follows through.
* Step 5: Tairou would hopelessly insist that his canon Shield Hero lore would eventually play itself up correctly. Or alternatively, Tairou receives his comeuppance when his actions backfire with incompetency, and another character berates him to be an idiot.
This is essentially what Tairou is right now - a boring plot device that exists to be disproven. If somehow, his delusional ideas of Shield Hero manage to move forward the plot. All it really does is prove that Tairou is either a strawman punching bag to be proven wrong, or the dramatic tension wouldn't be all that dramatic. Instead, all the conflict would be most centered around bashing why Shield Hero lore sucks and that Tairou's plan isn't all that useful and only holds others back.
With that in mind, I don't have a lot of entertainment in the moment Naofumi actually uses the wrath shield. It's predictable that either Tairou is pleased with his plan working in action, or everyone else would beat up Tairou for promoting such a stupid idea in the first place, when Naofumi's wrath shield backfires.
*******
Praiseworthy Moment 1: Malty has excellent flaws when it comes to trust issues. As she can’t convince herself to believe the prospect of a wholly good person, without overthinking paranoid thoughts about deceit and destruction with the Hammer Hero. Malty’s trust issues could serve as great conflict tension when she unintentionally frustrates/drives off potential allies. This may even foil and create a parallel dynamic between how Aultcray was once super paranoid towards Naofumi as Shield Hero, and future allies as traitors.
In Malty's POV, I'm really hyped with the direction you are taking her, Qinlongfei. Because I'm enjoying how her flawed characterization is really taking her. It makes me hope that there would eventually come a time where her own distrustful nature ends up backfire spectacularly in her face, just as how a tragic hero would.
Because based on how Malty viewed the situation in here. She immediately resorted to becoming fearful the moment she hears of Maximilian. The moment she hears of what Maximilian is doing. It prompts Malty into assuming that Maximilian would perform a radically dangerous action while everyone else is fighting the current threat.
Based on that single character moment. It hypes me up for the possibility that someday, Malty's harsh judgment of others would eventually backfire into her face and she'll end up making an enemy of a potential ally.
Just look at Aultcray also. When he first saw Naofumi as the Shield Hero, Aultcray immediately suspected the Shield Hero as someone who's untrustworthy and pure evil at heart. Even when Malty sided with Naofumi, Aultcray instead persisted in saying that Naofumi had somehow brainwashed/blackmailed Malty into commande.
With such a distrustful outlook on Malty. I feel compelled to parallel her character dynamic with Aultcray, if the chance ever comes up. Both Malty and Aultcray feel so much similar after seeing just how distrustful they can be as individuals.
Just look at chapter 5. Malty almost wanted to manipulate Flare into doing endless tests, just so she could pressure what Flare's limits are, based on paranoid trust issues. With a scene like that, I hope that in the future, Malty's own distrust would backfire into her face, and perhaps even maybe. Malty would understand what it means to be a failure, similarly to how Aultcray's distrust towards Naofumi had ruined their family altogether.
Hopefully by the future chapters, there would come more scenes where Malty and Aultcray's paranoia is meant to become foils to each other. Where Malty is still overly paranoid over traitorous allies, Aultcray could dive in and show her what it means to have faith in trusting others. Because with the way Malty is acting right now, this could very well connect her into further understanding how Aultcray's mindset works when he is strict on protecting family at all costs.
*******
* Praiseworthy Moment 2: Kyo and Seliph's character dynamics are working greatly here. And I also enjoyed the story that Kyo had spoken about. As it's an excellent way to pave an introduction this "Baoding" character.
With how Seliph is having his character role being treated like this. I'm really starting to like him by a lot now. Because previously for Seliph, my initial disdain for him was that he felt like a badly done character that exists purely to reference random Fire Emblem lore.
However, in these recent chapters, Seliph has become one of my favorite characters I like in the story. Because he now has an established personality as an optimistic and patient guy who can roll well with the arrogance of Kyo.
Although I have minimal interest towards what Seliph's family relationships is like in Ascension of the Red Princess and in Fire Emblem. I do enjoy how his characterization is meant to further characterize Kyo's positive aspects and contrast his arrogant personality.
****
Into Kyo, he is also very entertaining as well. Primarily because his storytelling of Baoding has a lot of useful content in how to handle the Spirit Tortoise. As well as serving to be an excellent way to introduce a reference character.
With an introduction to Baoding like this, I did not feel like it broke the story immersion. Instead, Kyo was able to treat Baoding as an integrated legendary cooker who could either establish himself as someone who can give great culinary lessons or be a powerful warrior that can be involved in future later battles.
So for now, I just want to say that Baoding left a good first impression in how the guy and his feats were mentioned.
******
Praiseworthy Moment 3: Keel is actually being likable now.
In this chapter, I really did enjoy Keel's portrayal in this chapter. I know beforehand, I frequently bashed Keel as the worst character ever. However, in this chapter, she's portrayed so much more benevolently and and entertaining.
The best scene has to be Keel helping out Naofumi. Though it's clear that Keel still hates Naofumi and is probably still a racist towards humans at this point. It's also clear that Keel is going to be a more positive friend when moving forward for how she'll put aside her personal feelings to protect that people that Raphtalia loves.
Hopefully by future chapters, Keel would open up to see Naofumi and Malty as great parents, instead of how she initially perceived them as manipulators.
*****
This was a great chapter and had a lot of entertaining moments I enjoyed viewing into.