7/22/2024 c30 3RonaldM40196867
A fuckboy? That is messed up.

Throwing Weapon Hero…real clever.

Burning Legion sounds cool.

7/15/2024 c29 Marx
A suggestion for showcasing further "queen" Mirellia Q Melromarc's incompetence is to have her try to raise the taxes on the land Shield Hero Naofumi Iwatani happens to be traveling on. Raising taxes is a sure sign that you are the most despicable power-hungry monster because you failed to consider how people would perceive you and how it raises the price of goods consumed. And yes, there are excuses that people could make to try to justify the taxes when it does not work to win people over.

I based this on the Shield Hero Abridged by PhantDog Studios and Joe Biden. In the Abridged series, the first episode shows the Trash King taxing people so they cannot become rich enough to escape being taxed. Naofumi gives up his Melromarcian citizenship to avoid paying taxes and gets shamed. Meanwhile, Joe Biden is an appropriate comparison to the disgusting, bug-eyed flesh bag woman who is Queen in name only. Thank you for reading.

7/11/2024 c28 Svampmannen
Good god, imagine Palpatine asking Harry if he put his name in the goblet! It'd be both terrifying and hilarious!

So the politics in Medea is a complete shitshow, even when faced with an existential threat. But I suppose that was already appearent. It'll be interesting to see the heroes navigate through it all. I wonder if someone will latch on to Naofumi's sentiment and try to launch a revolution to put him or any of the other heroes on the top.
But even if that doesn't happen, and even if the heroes do make it out in one piece, I have a feeling that it's going to end on a bittersweet note.

All right, let's see who is out for our hero this time.

7/7/2024 c24 DJman248
Another chapter down...three more to go! Really liked what I saw in this chapter in regards to Naofumi's decision to have an army of slaves. Particularly in the context given.

One thing I always had an issue with Rising Naofumi's use of slavery in recent times (as in, I didn't notice the issue until way later) is the original idea behind it basically got left on the wayside and handwoven any of the few times some other character brought up it's moral implications:

Naofumi at the beginning of Rising originally resorted to slaves because he felt that otherwise he could NOT trust anyone who claimed to help him. Yes, I'm well aware of webnovel naofumi also having rather...misogynistic reasons aside from that (not gonna lie, that only gives more weight to your take of Webnovel naofumi working better as a villain more credence) but the main thing is that his first reason for even considering slavery as a viable option is because he felt that he had no other options other than laying down and die due to his, at the time, inability to kill monsters at a reasonable rate alone to level up.

Basically...an acceptable Start of Darkness for a Villain's journey, where Naofumi's initial reasons for resorting to unsavory and morally questionable actions become less and less justified and more self-serving at their core. To the point where Naofumi is only a "hero" in name, and essentially produces an interesting conflict where more heroic/morally good figures either have to play along so Naofumi's effectiveness stays directed at more immediate threats or resort to similarly questionable methods to successfully intervene as Naofumi's villainy becomes more and more harmful to the people of Medea as a whole. Perhaps even involving a hero antagonist who will either be the last stand or the one who puts him down at the end.

...at least that's what I would say if Rising Naofumi actually WAS treated like the villain he actually is and his sycophantic posee like by most other characters in the official works!

But as you said in your author's note, that's not what happened. Alenko took every opportunity to paint Naofumi to be in the right, and while it may be true that the webnovel has less of a cleanup of how Naofumi's actions are depicted, I still feel like the webnovel paints Naofumi's attitude of "I'm a villain, what are you going to do about it?" less as a point of villainy and more of "this is what they deserve for how you are towards me and those undeserving". Less of a marker of Naofumi being unapologetic about his villainy, and more having the perspective of "pay evil unto evil", which...lines up with the mustache twirling evil the antagonists engage in within any version of canon.

Despite how long that was, it was simply a preamble to specifically point out how, in contrast, I appreciated what you put here with Naofumi and the heroes as a follow up to last chapter where Naofumi basically pulled in a bit of his Rising self to get a solid political win as a Player:

Naofumi felt like he was playing with fire, feels like a hypocrite, and doesn't fully trust himself. The two of the the weapon heroes openly air their concerns with Naofumi's decision in private, avoiding the very common scenario of allies undermining the main character due to doubts. Their concerns were demonstrated as valid, and Naofumi even trusted them to hold him accountable if they felt that he was going too far and not noticing. Motoyasu playing as mediator felt appropiate as a reminder that they are all on the same side despite said concerns.

It all flowed very nicely and showed Naofumi treading on certain aspects of his canon self without having to be devoid of consequences or potential consequences with actual weight to it.

Essentially, you managed to avoid having this be a case of "having your cake and eating it too".

While I know that this sounds lime I'm giving a fair bit of praise for what could be considered something basic...the fact of the matter is that I can't quite remember any other RotSH fanfic (not even the ones I like that actually are willing to have Naofumi's flaw have consequences) actually address the moral dilemma of the slave mark being used by Naofumi instead of either tossing out the mark completely or disregarding it's morality in a way that's even more blatant than Alenko...especially if they're Villain Naofumi fics. Those very often read less of an exploration of Naofumi being a proper villain and more like a power fantasy with the main character as an unstoppable and overly attractive villain. Bonus points for Malty being forced to be submissive to Naofumi and somehow liking it in said fics.

So yeah. I would say that what you did here needs to be acknowledged properly in the face of all that.

On the other two aspects of this chapter, I want to start wtih Idiot fan #1, as usual acting as if the world he's in is one to one with Rising, and seemingly realizing that he "stole" Atla's fanatic devotion from Naofumi by being the one who saved her life.

It's...actually something that got me thinking for a small bit. Of what exactly would be the last straw for someone like Atla to actually give up on the object of her devotions. It's nothing particular that I thought of, but I could imagine that it could probably happen if something fully convinced Atla that Tairou only sees her as an extension of his precious "Naofumi-sama" rather than someone who is connected to Tairou himself.

...Probably. Considering the levels of devotion present, it'd have to be something so devastating that it essentially ends up breaking Atla's spirit utterly.

In contrast, I wager that if it wasn't for his sister being present, Fohl would have left Idiot Fan #1 already. Obvious, yes. But it's becoming pretty clear even now with how Fohl is written to barely be tolerating Idiot Fan #1's nonsense.

On the other aspect of the chapter, I see that Dumbledore is still at it with his manipulations, and basically reinforcing Kyrie's assumptions of Naofumi and the situation with the four heroes...with Reiner being apparently someone who witnesses this for what it actually is: Kyrie being used as a (probably sacrificial) tool to complicate matters for out heroes. Though I gotta say, even if in some ways now being a vassal hero means that Kyrie has a certain level of prestige, it seems clear that she doesn't appreciate the fact that it ALSO puts her on some nobles crosshairs. After all, if Faubley's Game is much more cutthroat than Melromarc's, it stands to reason that Dumbledore suddenly giving the position of hero to someone would make that someone a person of big interest to a lot of Players.

That's how I see it anyways!

All in all, enjoyed this follow up to last chapter! One criticism I can give is an aspect of Dumbledore's dialogue. There's nothing wrong with what he's saying but, but I believe that his "my boy/girl" and "I understand" when pretending to be grandfatherly or condescending is a tad repetitive. A small change that can help that is to use a variety of begining phrases and terms that carry a similar feeling. Like, if he already addressed Kyrie as "My girl" in his last line, he could then address her as "young lady" as an alternative to avoid repetiveness or "young inquisitor" if you want to make him sound a bit more formal while still being condescending by emphasizing his seniority.

That's about it! Now onto to the next chapter!

6/30/2024 c23 DJman248
I see how you're starting new character arcs in this chapter, and I gotta say, I'm all for it so far!

So now Sadina's (and Azula's) arc is starting...

I must admit that I had my reservations about how you'd go about putting Sadina in a position where she would be everpresent in the plot, mainly since before this point i only thought of her as a waking talking deconstruction for the most part (which wouldn't have been a problem per say, just that I was worried about her constantly repeating her trademark behavior so far), but imagine what a pleasant surprise it was for me to see you explore just how much of a mess she is a person in the first part of this chapter through Raphtalia's perspective.

Yes, Sadina being explored as a total mess of a person is a good thing in my book, because now instead of her character flaws just being a a showcase of how little sense it makes for her to be Raphtalia's protector in Alenko's work(which absolutely is worth pointing out, by the way) now, with Raphtalia's perspective, I feel compelled to ask several questions that actually make me start to feel invested in Sadina's character in this story:

-How did Sadina come to considered Raphtalia's protector despite by both Raphtalia and her parents?
-Why did Raphtalia hold Sadina in high regard despite her serious flaws? Or rather...were those flaws actually this bad before?
-What kept Sadina away from Raphtalia for so long even after it should have been clear that she heard news of Raphtalia's village being razed to the ground?

For the record, these aren't questions I'm asking you to answer out of story, but rather showcasing how the start of this chapter and Raphtalia's perspective managed to raise my curiosity towards Sadina and the circumstances that led her to be the mess of a demihuman that is currently more of an obstruction rather than additional protection in Raphtalia's life.

On a last note regarding the beginning section, I appreciate how you have continued the line of Raphtalia's worries about her usefulness to her surrogate parents, especially in the wake of her realizing how they and their fellow heroes (who I now just realized might as well be Raphtalia's surrogate uncles in this story with how they relate to Naofumi and Malty) are clearly always going to need their guard up around the nobles surrounding them who are absolutely willing to bully and exploit them for their own gain.

With Queen Mirellia being a stand out example with how little care she puts towards her oldest daughter's safety even with her younger daughter practically begging her to care.

In fact...I wouldn't be surprised if one way Raphtalia could see Naofumi's decision to enslave the pirates as evidence of just how far the nobles and the waves' increasing danger has pushed him for the sake of survival.

After all, Raphtalia is a bright kid in this story who, unlike Melty, basically lost the luxury to be naive due to her experience as a former slave. So I could see her trying to understand why Naofumi would do something he has repeatedly and empathecally has gone against.

I could imagine it going something along the lines of her feeling like "the Naofumi I know would never do this if it weren't for how bad everything is because of these nobles and the waves". Couple that with her considering the pros and cons of actually using her hidden nobility and...I could see this going somewhere very interesting, to say the least!

Of course, maybe I'm assuming too much here. Feel free to correct me if that's the case.

On regards to the main section, there's also quite a few interesting signs of what's to come. Azula giving quite a fiery (all intended with this pun) first impression and showcasing her strong will despite the circumstances makes for another interesting character to explore in this story's context (on that note, are you having Naofumi and Malty basically collect famous villainess now? That's three so far if we count Malty herself! XD).

...to say nothing of the sheer catharsis I felt when Palmer got wrecked for being usual overly eager violent punks she is with additional consequences this time!

It also makes for a perfect opportunity for Naofumi to start asserting himself as a proper Player of The Game. Protecting Azula while making sure to clear up any misunderstandings on why he and his fellow heroes chose to stay in Melromarc.

The fact that it let him indirectly shame the queen was a bonus.

Especially with how, alongside Kael 'thas being as deferential as he is to Naofumi alongside the open threat to leave Melromarc if the queen pushes her luck, makes for a special bit of irony in the making: Mirellia, for all her talk of doing what's best for Melromarc, may have inadvertedly paved the path for the King of Rape's successor, even if it would be in a different fashion.

At the very least, I could picture this possibility weighting on Mirellia's mind here going forward, especially with how Naofumi followed up the exchange with his demand of compensation for his services for a problem he already solved without her knowledge.

I won't lie, I wad a bit surprised at how Naofumi here seemed to...basically emulate some of his Rising counterpart's mannerisms during his negotiations with Mirellia. It was almost like I was reading about a version of Rising Naofumi who is more well put together and less of a edgy ass. Especially that final look he gave to the queen. That almost seemed like the type of look Rising Naofumi would give to Aultcray in canon, only without the writing pandering Naofumi utterly.

Very nice.

Lastly, I just realized what Naofumi is doing here. He basically is going to have an army of slaves...and that means that Beloukas might make a reappearing, considering how many ways I could interpret Naofumi wanting to collect the capital's "undesirables".

It makes for a good question: just how would this story's version of Beloukas react to Naofumi seemingly going back on his word of trying to stop slavery in the country? Could make for an interesting interaction.

All in all, a solid chapter. Here's hoping I can get to the others left with less obstacles not giving me enough time to sit down and review!

6/21/2024 c25 1Rzgt
I wonder if fan boy will ever wake up to reality at some point.

Even though the events are calm now i love the characters conversations it shows how they all grow up.

Can't wait to see more of azula.

6/19/2024 c23 s0ra5000
Did we get a POV from Keel where it explains her feelings towards Raphtalia, I don't think I remember the reason for her obsession with Raphtalia to the point she ignores all she says. Looks like one of those possessive relationships, though Keel doesn't have the strengh to make sure the object of her obession submits.