for Ascension of the Red Princess1/16/2024 c4 
3Argus456
If Balmus was any indication of the native's powers, both physically and politically, then the Heroes will need to be wary of all the representatives of the other nations one way or another.
It would be amusing in an ironic manner if Takt is the one that's the most straightforward with them, even if it's to put them(or their companions) down. My only exposure to Takt is his appearance is in Reprisal of a Spear Hero so I'm interested to see the changes you make.
p.s:Thanks for being honest about not planning everything out for the story's plotpoint and to be honest, it makes the story more enjoyable because of the potential twists and turns in store for us readers. Looking forward to the next chapter.
3Argus456If Balmus was any indication of the native's powers, both physically and politically, then the Heroes will need to be wary of all the representatives of the other nations one way or another.
It would be amusing in an ironic manner if Takt is the one that's the most straightforward with them, even if it's to put them(or their companions) down. My only exposure to Takt is his appearance is in Reprisal of a Spear Hero so I'm interested to see the changes you make.
p.s:Thanks for being honest about not planning everything out for the story's plotpoint and to be honest, it makes the story more enjoyable because of the potential twists and turns in store for us readers. Looking forward to the next chapter.
1/15/2024 c4 40lord Martiya
I presume both Zeltoble and Shieltfrieeden will gun for Naofumi... And the rulers will not like how unsubtle two of the Heroes are.
40lord MartiyaI presume both Zeltoble and Shieltfrieeden will gun for Naofumi... And the rulers will not like how unsubtle two of the Heroes are.
1/14/2024 c4 3RonaldM40196867
Sometimes a full frontal assault is the best strategy.
House Velthomar has much to offer us.
I hope the weapons get more types of magic.
3RonaldM40196867Sometimes a full frontal assault is the best strategy.
House Velthomar has much to offer us.
I hope the weapons get more types of magic.
1/9/2024 c3 3Argus456
So Malty still ends up being a teacher after all though for something more practical than noble ettiquette for Naofumi who will hopefully benefit from the magic instructions in one form or another.
It was also interesting to show why spell casters are rare. One would usually think its due to unique bloodlines like royalty or nobility but imagining this being caused by accidental misfires or improper control would make sense given how devastating even the smallest spark or splash could be in the wrong circumstances is rather interesting.
Or they were done in by those who survive the misfires and thought the spell caster's ineptitude for something malicious like Palmer did when she accused Malty.
Speaking of which, since Palmer did nothing wrong by Melromarc's laws, I wonder how things will turn out if a region happens to have laws that favor the heroes instead and Palmer causes an international incident.
Then again, as much of a brute she may be, she is still an educated knight who won't intentionally cause trouble for the queen.
3Argus456So Malty still ends up being a teacher after all though for something more practical than noble ettiquette for Naofumi who will hopefully benefit from the magic instructions in one form or another.
It was also interesting to show why spell casters are rare. One would usually think its due to unique bloodlines like royalty or nobility but imagining this being caused by accidental misfires or improper control would make sense given how devastating even the smallest spark or splash could be in the wrong circumstances is rather interesting.
Or they were done in by those who survive the misfires and thought the spell caster's ineptitude for something malicious like Palmer did when she accused Malty.
Speaking of which, since Palmer did nothing wrong by Melromarc's laws, I wonder how things will turn out if a region happens to have laws that favor the heroes instead and Palmer causes an international incident.
Then again, as much of a brute she may be, she is still an educated knight who won't intentionally cause trouble for the queen.
1/8/2024 c3 40lord Martiya
Well, at least here Flare hasn't either a psychotic father encouraging her to be a psycho nor an even more psychotic little sister demanding she acts as one OR ELSE, so she's a nice woman.
On the other hand, Flare is an idiot and may have picked up something else from her father.
That said, how much was Naofumi internally panicking once he found out he's got Flare in his retinue?
40lord MartiyaWell, at least here Flare hasn't either a psychotic father encouraging her to be a psycho nor an even more psychotic little sister demanding she acts as one OR ELSE, so she's a nice woman.
On the other hand, Flare is an idiot and may have picked up something else from her father.
That said, how much was Naofumi internally panicking once he found out he's got Flare in his retinue?
1/7/2024 c3 3RonaldM40196867
Regret can last a lifetime.
So Malty worked with Flare.
Canon Malty barely pretended to be a good sister.
I think both sisters made mistakes.
3RonaldM40196867Regret can last a lifetime.
So Malty worked with Flare.
Canon Malty barely pretended to be a good sister.
I think both sisters made mistakes.
1/7/2024 c3 12ArchPsion
I would’ve thought that Palmer would have gotten some humility beaten into her after the last time she pushed someone too far. Suppose she’ll need to learn all over again to not run her mouth. That or she’ll learn nothing and she and Inquisitor Two-Copper will continue to be the new hatesinks of the story.
12ArchPsionI would’ve thought that Palmer would have gotten some humility beaten into her after the last time she pushed someone too far. Suppose she’ll need to learn all over again to not run her mouth. That or she’ll learn nothing and she and Inquisitor Two-Copper will continue to be the new hatesinks of the story.
1/7/2024 c2 DJman248
My oh my, you were NOT kidding when you mentioned that the heroes' trouble are not over.
The situation with their retinues is almost comical in terms of how many complications they are dealing with, especially in Eclair's case, where she's simultaniously juggling attempts to get Flare a reality check she desperately needs (like...you essentially had her act the part of the stereotypical spoiled noble lady), keeping Cardin in line, not stepping into Weiss' toes TOO much (results mixed, Im guessing she did not appreciate being vocally placed in the same category as a little commoner boy like Raki in the same sentence) AND now having to keep an eye on Raki due to his stubborn worry over Raphtalia.
If nothing else...this will certainly fast track Eclair's experience gain in regards to a leader role XD.
But I could also easily see how Eclair may very well be blindsided by plays on part of either Cardin or Weiss if she doesn't wisen up fast regarding aspects of The Game. She's not as naive as before, but its pretty clear that she still has a ways to go before she's able to properly perceive more underhanded nuances on the political side of things, even as she stays firm in her values.
Itsuki's section legitimitely made me feel empathy for him, what with him getting so overwhelmed with his duties and personal expectations that he basically ends up having a panic attack. That...could be a bad omen for how he will handle the pressure that will come from attending the conference at Cal Mira.
And of course, there'a Naofumi's section, where you once again make it clear that this is a world of consequences. Naofumi takes down a murderously self-righteous old fool who killed innocent people? He's going to have to deal with his apprentice, someone who is beyond biased towards that crazy fool's black and white way of thinking, and who's very eager to avenge her master in the name of "justice".
I say it was a nice touch having the trigger for the fight be Naofumi's own lack of patience and his subsequent poor choice of words. Makes ir clear that even with everything that Naofumi has learned in the prequel, he still has much to learn in regards to how he measures his words, even when dealing with someone he feels less than inclined to interact with.
After all...what if the bloodshed now could have been avoided, or at the very least minimized if he was more careful?
Maybe not, considering Kyrie was LOOKING for an excuse to attack, but even then I wager Naofumi's choice of words here could very well cause him more complications from the surrounding nobility if they deem him to be the instigator.
So yeah, Im definitely looking forward to how things proceed with this fight and its consequences!
P.S: admittedly, this isn't too relevant, but Im curious: I checked out some info regarding where Kyrie comes from and...I DO wonder if she honestly would STAY this degree of self-righteous in the context of this world. After all...I can dedinitely see that she comes across as self-righteous and smug in her own game where she treats the villains as one dimensional but...isn't that because they were written like that? Im not saying that Kyrie can't be antagonistic or self-righteous but...I'll admit that it didn't feel like there was much from what I gathered in her own game that convinces me that she would as much of a lunatic as her master, at the very least. Of course...perhaps Im wrong and misisng a detail or two, and I'm open to being corrected in that case.
My oh my, you were NOT kidding when you mentioned that the heroes' trouble are not over.
The situation with their retinues is almost comical in terms of how many complications they are dealing with, especially in Eclair's case, where she's simultaniously juggling attempts to get Flare a reality check she desperately needs (like...you essentially had her act the part of the stereotypical spoiled noble lady), keeping Cardin in line, not stepping into Weiss' toes TOO much (results mixed, Im guessing she did not appreciate being vocally placed in the same category as a little commoner boy like Raki in the same sentence) AND now having to keep an eye on Raki due to his stubborn worry over Raphtalia.
If nothing else...this will certainly fast track Eclair's experience gain in regards to a leader role XD.
But I could also easily see how Eclair may very well be blindsided by plays on part of either Cardin or Weiss if she doesn't wisen up fast regarding aspects of The Game. She's not as naive as before, but its pretty clear that she still has a ways to go before she's able to properly perceive more underhanded nuances on the political side of things, even as she stays firm in her values.
Itsuki's section legitimitely made me feel empathy for him, what with him getting so overwhelmed with his duties and personal expectations that he basically ends up having a panic attack. That...could be a bad omen for how he will handle the pressure that will come from attending the conference at Cal Mira.
And of course, there'a Naofumi's section, where you once again make it clear that this is a world of consequences. Naofumi takes down a murderously self-righteous old fool who killed innocent people? He's going to have to deal with his apprentice, someone who is beyond biased towards that crazy fool's black and white way of thinking, and who's very eager to avenge her master in the name of "justice".
I say it was a nice touch having the trigger for the fight be Naofumi's own lack of patience and his subsequent poor choice of words. Makes ir clear that even with everything that Naofumi has learned in the prequel, he still has much to learn in regards to how he measures his words, even when dealing with someone he feels less than inclined to interact with.
After all...what if the bloodshed now could have been avoided, or at the very least minimized if he was more careful?
Maybe not, considering Kyrie was LOOKING for an excuse to attack, but even then I wager Naofumi's choice of words here could very well cause him more complications from the surrounding nobility if they deem him to be the instigator.
So yeah, Im definitely looking forward to how things proceed with this fight and its consequences!
P.S: admittedly, this isn't too relevant, but Im curious: I checked out some info regarding where Kyrie comes from and...I DO wonder if she honestly would STAY this degree of self-righteous in the context of this world. After all...I can dedinitely see that she comes across as self-righteous and smug in her own game where she treats the villains as one dimensional but...isn't that because they were written like that? Im not saying that Kyrie can't be antagonistic or self-righteous but...I'll admit that it didn't feel like there was much from what I gathered in her own game that convinces me that she would as much of a lunatic as her master, at the very least. Of course...perhaps Im wrong and misisng a detail or two, and I'm open to being corrected in that case.
1/3/2024 c2 ArchPsion
Welp, I can see Queen SafeSpace trying to use this to get rid of Malty. Claim that Naofumi antagonized the Faubley Inquisitors and try to pressure him into releasing Malty for marriage to appease Faubley. At this point I’m honestly ready to believe that she’ll go out of her way and drop everything else if it means getting Malty into her uncle’s grasp.
Here’s hoping this new Inquisitor doesn’t last much longer than her mentor did. I wonder just what exactly she’d have ‘talked’ about if Naofumi hadn’t given her an inch…
Welp, I can see Queen SafeSpace trying to use this to get rid of Malty. Claim that Naofumi antagonized the Faubley Inquisitors and try to pressure him into releasing Malty for marriage to appease Faubley. At this point I’m honestly ready to believe that she’ll go out of her way and drop everything else if it means getting Malty into her uncle’s grasp.
Here’s hoping this new Inquisitor doesn’t last much longer than her mentor did. I wonder just what exactly she’d have ‘talked’ about if Naofumi hadn’t given her an inch…
1/2/2024 c2 Fungus On Plant
I did think that Itsuki and Naofumi killing that inquisitor would have no backlash, for who in their right mind can enter a foreign country and start rampaging in its villages with no consequences? Though I admit the apprentice getting involved might be a brainer move from Faubrey, if she got herself killed, they can always pin the blame on the Four Heroes Sect and start culling their influence on the country, or if by some miracle, the inquisitors managed to kill one of the Heroes, well, it's Merlomarc's fault for letting one of its Heroes die in its watch, cue Second Great War erupts.
I did think that Itsuki and Naofumi killing that inquisitor would have no backlash, for who in their right mind can enter a foreign country and start rampaging in its villages with no consequences? Though I admit the apprentice getting involved might be a brainer move from Faubrey, if she got herself killed, they can always pin the blame on the Four Heroes Sect and start culling their influence on the country, or if by some miracle, the inquisitors managed to kill one of the Heroes, well, it's Merlomarc's fault for letting one of its Heroes die in its watch, cue Second Great War erupts.
12/31/2023 c1 DJman248
Heeeey, glad to see this sequel pop up! I would have reviewed much sooner, but internship work and getting sick during the holidays (AGAIN) got in the way.
Life can be a troll, sometimes.
On to the chapter though!
I can already tell the greater focus on the political intrigue that you promised is being set up. Three different noble families angling to get ahead in the Game, and to do so they send young representatives to the hero parties that have both princesses (or just Malty's, in the case of the Winchesters).
What Im liking here is how, with the Winchesters and the Schnees, you demonstrated a continuation of aspects of the previous fic:
Cardin Winchester sucking up to Eclair presents an interesting scenario. On one hand, Eclair is still a rookie when it comes to the Game, or at least, recognizing when its being played (though, correct me if Im wrong, but she seems more perceptive here compared to before, despite her still lacking some saviness?), buuuut on the other hand, Count Winchester is underestimating the fact that Eclair will be accompanied by two sharp individuals who will be wise to what Cardin is trying to do on two different fronts (Malty being perceptive on matters involving The Game, Naofumi knowing what Cardin's disposition will be due to his meta knowledge and Cardin being pretty similar to his RWBY personality wise) who are likely to advice her accordingly.
Weiss being involved is interesting, because this Weiss is very much a snobby heiress with barely any heroic traits her RWBY counterpart has. Though its fascinating that we account for the fact that her familial issues are implied to be similar, and that she has a bit of sibling rivalry going on with Whitley. That...could make for an interesting parallel with Malty and Melty, considering that both involve siblings who have a rocky relationship and parental favoritism being interlinked with matters of inheritance. The irony here is that Malty and Melty at this point in time seem to have a more...cordial relationship compared to Weiss and Whitley...though maybe Im assuming too much since I only have Weiss' bitter musing on losing out on an opportunity to her brother to go on.
Lastly, and perhaps the one that shook me the most...the Consevatie sisters. I gotta say, I did quite a double take for a few second when I read the names. Not only a possibly villainous version of Lacus Clyne from Gundam SEED but...Flare from Redo of the Healer? With the veeeery heavy implication that she quickly put on her clothes since she was in the middle of pretty much raping (cause what else do we call it since slaves can't say no to their masters?) a slave of hers? With the distint posibility that its the medea version of that atrociously bad joke of an evil protagonist Keyaru?
Oh dear. I can already tell that things are going to go in an...INTERESTING direction with this one. Especially with the fact that she's going with Malty and Naofumi...and the possibility that the latter will recognize her in the spot...and likely tell Malty why he would be tense upon seeing Flare.
Suffice to say...Lacus may be a tad off on the idea that she gave her little sister the "easy" task...and her assessment of Malty by quite a margin.
Speaking of which! Your depiction of Lacus here is interesting...in that it feels like an exploration of an aspect of the original Gundam SEED character that, in my opinion, was very undercooked: the fact that she's utterly unflappable, and willing to take some rather outrageous actions without even giving it a second thought (like just changing clothes in front of Kira without skipping a beat...and escape from her confinement repeatedly with no fuss). Me and a friend of mine back then often talked about how this implies that Lacus is MUCH more dangerous and savvy than she appears...if the show writers actually capitalized on it.
I mean...
It makes sense that Grima, and perhaps others, would be rather unnerved by how Lacus just...seems pathologically inclined to show any sort of spontanous emotional reaction, and possesing a level of poise that seems straight up supernatural to an uncanny degree. And that's without considering whether or not you have given her the full extent of her SEED counterpart's informed knack for politics.
If so...then I must say...you sure like making Iris sweat and work for any gains she would make in this story, eh? Last time she had to deal with her own shortcomings on military and law...and now she, ostensibly the only one in Motoyasu's party who could even pretend to play The Game on any serious level, now has go contend with an unflappable, unreadable, politically savvy Lacus.
...I need to have some popcorn ready for when this goes down XD.
And of course, there's the last section of this chapter with Naofumi and Malty which already ups the tension on two fronts:
Firo got kidnapped by whipping boy (I presume) and Sadeena.
Welp, that sure warrants a few questions on why she was helping someone like Takt. And I wager that those questions will be answered bit by bit...along with the unfortunate fact that Firo is now wkth someone who is arguably just as bad, if not worse influence in her than SIOC...who can train her up to monstrous levels with a worse disposition.
Oh dear.
And that's without taking into account the upcoming Hero's conference which...aure promises to be a mess, to put it lightly!
All in all, Im liking how you set all this up so far. I look forward to what comes next and how the pieces keep getting set up. Until next time...and Happy New Year!
Heeeey, glad to see this sequel pop up! I would have reviewed much sooner, but internship work and getting sick during the holidays (AGAIN) got in the way.
Life can be a troll, sometimes.
On to the chapter though!
I can already tell the greater focus on the political intrigue that you promised is being set up. Three different noble families angling to get ahead in the Game, and to do so they send young representatives to the hero parties that have both princesses (or just Malty's, in the case of the Winchesters).
What Im liking here is how, with the Winchesters and the Schnees, you demonstrated a continuation of aspects of the previous fic:
Cardin Winchester sucking up to Eclair presents an interesting scenario. On one hand, Eclair is still a rookie when it comes to the Game, or at least, recognizing when its being played (though, correct me if Im wrong, but she seems more perceptive here compared to before, despite her still lacking some saviness?), buuuut on the other hand, Count Winchester is underestimating the fact that Eclair will be accompanied by two sharp individuals who will be wise to what Cardin is trying to do on two different fronts (Malty being perceptive on matters involving The Game, Naofumi knowing what Cardin's disposition will be due to his meta knowledge and Cardin being pretty similar to his RWBY personality wise) who are likely to advice her accordingly.
Weiss being involved is interesting, because this Weiss is very much a snobby heiress with barely any heroic traits her RWBY counterpart has. Though its fascinating that we account for the fact that her familial issues are implied to be similar, and that she has a bit of sibling rivalry going on with Whitley. That...could make for an interesting parallel with Malty and Melty, considering that both involve siblings who have a rocky relationship and parental favoritism being interlinked with matters of inheritance. The irony here is that Malty and Melty at this point in time seem to have a more...cordial relationship compared to Weiss and Whitley...though maybe Im assuming too much since I only have Weiss' bitter musing on losing out on an opportunity to her brother to go on.
Lastly, and perhaps the one that shook me the most...the Consevatie sisters. I gotta say, I did quite a double take for a few second when I read the names. Not only a possibly villainous version of Lacus Clyne from Gundam SEED but...Flare from Redo of the Healer? With the veeeery heavy implication that she quickly put on her clothes since she was in the middle of pretty much raping (cause what else do we call it since slaves can't say no to their masters?) a slave of hers? With the distint posibility that its the medea version of that atrociously bad joke of an evil protagonist Keyaru?
Oh dear. I can already tell that things are going to go in an...INTERESTING direction with this one. Especially with the fact that she's going with Malty and Naofumi...and the possibility that the latter will recognize her in the spot...and likely tell Malty why he would be tense upon seeing Flare.
Suffice to say...Lacus may be a tad off on the idea that she gave her little sister the "easy" task...and her assessment of Malty by quite a margin.
Speaking of which! Your depiction of Lacus here is interesting...in that it feels like an exploration of an aspect of the original Gundam SEED character that, in my opinion, was very undercooked: the fact that she's utterly unflappable, and willing to take some rather outrageous actions without even giving it a second thought (like just changing clothes in front of Kira without skipping a beat...and escape from her confinement repeatedly with no fuss). Me and a friend of mine back then often talked about how this implies that Lacus is MUCH more dangerous and savvy than she appears...if the show writers actually capitalized on it.
I mean...
It makes sense that Grima, and perhaps others, would be rather unnerved by how Lacus just...seems pathologically inclined to show any sort of spontanous emotional reaction, and possesing a level of poise that seems straight up supernatural to an uncanny degree. And that's without considering whether or not you have given her the full extent of her SEED counterpart's informed knack for politics.
If so...then I must say...you sure like making Iris sweat and work for any gains she would make in this story, eh? Last time she had to deal with her own shortcomings on military and law...and now she, ostensibly the only one in Motoyasu's party who could even pretend to play The Game on any serious level, now has go contend with an unflappable, unreadable, politically savvy Lacus.
...I need to have some popcorn ready for when this goes down XD.
And of course, there's the last section of this chapter with Naofumi and Malty which already ups the tension on two fronts:
Firo got kidnapped by whipping boy (I presume) and Sadeena.
Welp, that sure warrants a few questions on why she was helping someone like Takt. And I wager that those questions will be answered bit by bit...along with the unfortunate fact that Firo is now wkth someone who is arguably just as bad, if not worse influence in her than SIOC...who can train her up to monstrous levels with a worse disposition.
Oh dear.
And that's without taking into account the upcoming Hero's conference which...aure promises to be a mess, to put it lightly!
All in all, Im liking how you set all this up so far. I look forward to what comes next and how the pieces keep getting set up. Until next time...and Happy New Year!
12/31/2023 c2 3Argus456
Things are certainly coming back to bite them little by little. Wonder if the inqusition might have played a part in Firo's abduction though unlikely given their objective to get Naofumi himself.
Still, even if the matter is nipped in the bud, largely thanks to Mala(imagining her stomping the inquisitors into the ground was amusing), Naofumi's security detail is probably gonna get beefed up from now on, though hopefully not to a stifling degree.
Wonder if Naofumi will sk for ettiquette lessons from Malty, if only to avoid antagonizing people, especially those looking for any excuse to stop playing nice.
On a lighter note, I like how Malty is bonding with Mein II as she's insisting on calling which is a far cry to her earlier aversion to Firo so hurray for personal growth. Wonder if Naofumi will just give up and call it Mein too since the bird might get confused later on.
Almost want an encounter between Malty, Mein II and Mein of Samphor for some comedy to lighten things up.
3Argus456Things are certainly coming back to bite them little by little. Wonder if the inqusition might have played a part in Firo's abduction though unlikely given their objective to get Naofumi himself.
Still, even if the matter is nipped in the bud, largely thanks to Mala(imagining her stomping the inquisitors into the ground was amusing), Naofumi's security detail is probably gonna get beefed up from now on, though hopefully not to a stifling degree.
Wonder if Naofumi will sk for ettiquette lessons from Malty, if only to avoid antagonizing people, especially those looking for any excuse to stop playing nice.
On a lighter note, I like how Malty is bonding with Mein II as she's insisting on calling which is a far cry to her earlier aversion to Firo so hurray for personal growth. Wonder if Naofumi will just give up and call it Mein too since the bird might get confused later on.
Almost want an encounter between Malty, Mein II and Mein of Samphor for some comedy to lighten things up.
12/31/2023 c2 3RonaldM40196867
The Queen has the hardest job of all.
We cannot escape the past.
Happy New Year!
3RonaldM40196867The Queen has the hardest job of all.
We cannot escape the past.
Happy New Year!
12/25/2023 c1 3Argus456
And thus the political intrigue that is part of The Game continues. Having Cardin join Naofumi's group will be interesting since he'll be a more competent Mald from my eyes.
Still, having a member of SIOC's family trying to join as well will be troubling for some, especially given the grief and suffering they went through because of Sioc's actions.
As for the other consevatie, Lacus being cold and calculating like this feels oddly fitting given what she somehow pulled off in the gundam series. Wonder if she'll put up an innocent front for Motoyasu before Iris fills him in.
Sadeena's mentioned cameo this early on makes me wonder what else changed in this version of the story. Looking forward to find out!
3Argus456And thus the political intrigue that is part of The Game continues. Having Cardin join Naofumi's group will be interesting since he'll be a more competent Mald from my eyes.
Still, having a member of SIOC's family trying to join as well will be troubling for some, especially given the grief and suffering they went through because of Sioc's actions.
As for the other consevatie, Lacus being cold and calculating like this feels oddly fitting given what she somehow pulled off in the gundam series. Wonder if she'll put up an innocent front for Motoyasu before Iris fills him in.
Sadeena's mentioned cameo this early on makes me wonder what else changed in this version of the story. Looking forward to find out!