for Weary Hands, Warrior's Heart3/24 c58 Guest
update ?
update ?
3/21 c53 wanderinghawk1
Okay, first of I generally like the writing style, and the story was mostly good so far, some things I liked some I disliked. But currently at this very moment I hate it.
Harrys character feels absolutly ruined, him not wanting to kill is one thing, him holding back against the likes of Durza is incomprihensible. Especially after Durza basically took Freds soul. Book Harry would have raged against Durza and would give his very best instead of overpowering stunners. The main pacifist in the Harry Potter fandom is Dumbledore not Harry, Harry often disagrees with Dumbledores extremely pacifistic approach. The laking lethality in the book was mainly due to Harry not knowing lethal spells and Rowling wanting to keep it kid friendly. Also he was ready to kill with the sword where he lacks ability but not with magic? What the hell is wrong with him!?
And lastly what is also infuriating for me is that you make Harry hesitate in nearly every conflict and it keeps biting him in the ass, also something book Harry had no problems with, if anything it was the opposite.
Oh and one more thing, if Harry is one thing than it is brave, Harry did not cower before danger, his own death or confronting difficult feelings or social situations. So please let him summon more people he knows to get his head on straight and summon others to teach him better fighting. The subject he was best in, and loved the most at Hogwarts. Maybe he could have dealt with the Fiendfyre then.
I am going to take a long break of this fic and hope once I come back Harry has his head on straight.
Okay, first of I generally like the writing style, and the story was mostly good so far, some things I liked some I disliked. But currently at this very moment I hate it.
Harrys character feels absolutly ruined, him not wanting to kill is one thing, him holding back against the likes of Durza is incomprihensible. Especially after Durza basically took Freds soul. Book Harry would have raged against Durza and would give his very best instead of overpowering stunners. The main pacifist in the Harry Potter fandom is Dumbledore not Harry, Harry often disagrees with Dumbledores extremely pacifistic approach. The laking lethality in the book was mainly due to Harry not knowing lethal spells and Rowling wanting to keep it kid friendly. Also he was ready to kill with the sword where he lacks ability but not with magic? What the hell is wrong with him!?
And lastly what is also infuriating for me is that you make Harry hesitate in nearly every conflict and it keeps biting him in the ass, also something book Harry had no problems with, if anything it was the opposite.
Oh and one more thing, if Harry is one thing than it is brave, Harry did not cower before danger, his own death or confronting difficult feelings or social situations. So please let him summon more people he knows to get his head on straight and summon others to teach him better fighting. The subject he was best in, and loved the most at Hogwarts. Maybe he could have dealt with the Fiendfyre then.
I am going to take a long break of this fic and hope once I come back Harry has his head on straight.
3/5 c52 ThelittleKing
This fic has been really amazing. I loved most of it but there definitely are parts I did not agree with, plot-wise. The world building and writing is so good that this should not even be called a fic but a real story. At the same time that also means that it feels a lot more "realistic" as many fics just exist to make the protagonist stronger. Party I love your version, at the same time it gets very frustrating seeing Harry do things but not really changing much. Sure, he's helped a lot and prevented Brom from dying but at the same time he's basically caused just as much damage to this universe as he prevented. It's been a while since I read Inheritance Cycle but part of me thinks that they would have been better off without Harry. There is such a big emphasis on how much Harry could do and lots of explaining and world building but once it's actually time to shine, he fails and that kind of ruins everything else he did that is positive. Harry's pov just feels more like we're reading the plot of Inheritance Cycle though some side character.
I'm both amazed at how this is just a fic and not a real story but at the same time I'm disappointed how the plot develops once it's actually gets to the important bits.
I wrote this comment before fully finishing the chapter and well, I can't say I'm surprised that Harry failed again. His plane, his secrets and people important to him dead or in captivity. I like this story so much but Harry in action is the worst part about it lol. And as always he will probably "learn from this" but end up making even worse mistakes in the future (although apart from getting kidnapped by Galbatorix, I don't know how this can get any worse). I'm amazed at how well this story is written in so many aspects but everything action related just takes away from that. I really hope Harry is going to learn from this but I doubt it
This fic has been really amazing. I loved most of it but there definitely are parts I did not agree with, plot-wise. The world building and writing is so good that this should not even be called a fic but a real story. At the same time that also means that it feels a lot more "realistic" as many fics just exist to make the protagonist stronger. Party I love your version, at the same time it gets very frustrating seeing Harry do things but not really changing much. Sure, he's helped a lot and prevented Brom from dying but at the same time he's basically caused just as much damage to this universe as he prevented. It's been a while since I read Inheritance Cycle but part of me thinks that they would have been better off without Harry. There is such a big emphasis on how much Harry could do and lots of explaining and world building but once it's actually time to shine, he fails and that kind of ruins everything else he did that is positive. Harry's pov just feels more like we're reading the plot of Inheritance Cycle though some side character.
I'm both amazed at how this is just a fic and not a real story but at the same time I'm disappointed how the plot develops once it's actually gets to the important bits.
I wrote this comment before fully finishing the chapter and well, I can't say I'm surprised that Harry failed again. His plane, his secrets and people important to him dead or in captivity. I like this story so much but Harry in action is the worst part about it lol. And as always he will probably "learn from this" but end up making even worse mistakes in the future (although apart from getting kidnapped by Galbatorix, I don't know how this can get any worse). I'm amazed at how well this story is written in so many aspects but everything action related just takes away from that. I really hope Harry is going to learn from this but I doubt it
3/5 c48 ThelittleKing
What is probably the most impressive things about this story is how you research every topic to the smallest detail just so Harry can learn all of these things. Instead of just saying "He talked to dead people and built an airplane" you really emphasize the world building. Well done!
What is probably the most impressive things about this story is how you research every topic to the smallest detail just so Harry can learn all of these things. Instead of just saying "He talked to dead people and built an airplane" you really emphasize the world building. Well done!
2/25 c1 Dubious Destiny
Reading later reviews, you seem enamored with technology. With your username as well, why don't you write sci-fi instead of fantasy? It would be more to your style and you can pontificate all you wish.
Reading later reviews, you seem enamored with technology. With your username as well, why don't you write sci-fi instead of fantasy? It would be more to your style and you can pontificate all you wish.
2/25 c27 Dubious Destiny
This chapter is terrible.
Harry takes the idiot ball and gets caught so we are treated to angst.
He is a seventh year dropout as you happily remind us, so he's either too stupid to know how bezoars are properly gotten and that's why he has to go cutting and sewing goats or you didn't think of it.
Wizards and witches would have nifty ways of healing without resorting to barbaric practices like cutting people open, like Ron once said in the books. I honestly agree with Ron.
You really need to cut down on the extra content. It's just doing nothing for the story other than making the inhabitants of Alagaesia look like fools for not being modern, and having Harry play the colonial benefactor.
This chapter is terrible.
Harry takes the idiot ball and gets caught so we are treated to angst.
He is a seventh year dropout as you happily remind us, so he's either too stupid to know how bezoars are properly gotten and that's why he has to go cutting and sewing goats or you didn't think of it.
Wizards and witches would have nifty ways of healing without resorting to barbaric practices like cutting people open, like Ron once said in the books. I honestly agree with Ron.
You really need to cut down on the extra content. It's just doing nothing for the story other than making the inhabitants of Alagaesia look like fools for not being modern, and having Harry play the colonial benefactor.
2/25 c25 Dubious Destiny
Are you including the events of Murtagh? It reeked a bit of greater enemy powerscaling, but that could give HP an opponent of his level
Are you including the events of Murtagh? It reeked a bit of greater enemy powerscaling, but that could give HP an opponent of his level
2/24 c19 Dubious Destiny
Harry is not a generic social media user - I haven't seen such a vapid, learned helpless reaction to Yazuac. Boy went though a cave of inferius in his sixth year and had grit. This feels like a major weakness in your writing - you are trying to contrast medieval and modern, but it should be fantasy and fantasy, and not so often. Feels like nearly every chapter has some version of this.
Harry was also way too acquiescing of Brom. Respects the guy's secrets and Harry himself folded faster than you can fold paper to spill everything.
Harry is not a generic social media user - I haven't seen such a vapid, learned helpless reaction to Yazuac. Boy went though a cave of inferius in his sixth year and had grit. This feels like a major weakness in your writing - you are trying to contrast medieval and modern, but it should be fantasy and fantasy, and not so often. Feels like nearly every chapter has some version of this.
Harry was also way too acquiescing of Brom. Respects the guy's secrets and Harry himself folded faster than you can fold paper to spill everything.
2/24 c18 Dubious Destiny
No one cares about tax policies, despite what a certain fantasy author might have you believe. Snooze fest, a muggle one and even worse - probably true irl. You're not here as an author to summarize real world muggle stuff like this, inflates word count and derails. Even if Brom were interested in this stuff, it should have never made it into the fic
No one cares about tax policies, despite what a certain fantasy author might have you believe. Snooze fest, a muggle one and even worse - probably true irl. You're not here as an author to summarize real world muggle stuff like this, inflates word count and derails. Even if Brom were interested in this stuff, it should have never made it into the fic
2/24 c33 jessessanto
Essa mania de endeusar a tecnologia dos humanos beira o ridículo. Transporte dos trouxas não chega perto dos bruxos e lixo de mansões modernas não seria nem um pouco atrativo para os elfos .
Essa mania de endeusar a tecnologia dos humanos beira o ridículo. Transporte dos trouxas não chega perto dos bruxos e lixo de mansões modernas não seria nem um pouco atrativo para os elfos .
2/24 c13 Dubious Destiny
Kind of missed the point entirely with Fidelius. The point of it is the Act of Trust which enables that protection.
Kind of missed the point entirely with Fidelius. The point of it is the Act of Trust which enables that protection.
2/24 c9 Dubious Destiny
Something about the way you right Harry developing his own society makes it not feel like magic wank,trying to capture a part of his past.
I assume the final being in the chapter is a shade. How is that possible? Aren't they many spirits tortured by being amalgamated?
Something about the way you right Harry developing his own society makes it not feel like magic wank,trying to capture a part of his past.
I assume the final being in the chapter is a shade. How is that possible? Aren't they many spirits tortured by being amalgamated?
2/24 c27 ThelittleKing
I wrote my comment before finishing this chapter and damn, the ending just made it a lot worse. I really love your world building, Harry building a castle and learning lots of things by himself but damn this is starting to remind me of a fic where the characters are just punished for the sake of creating "angst". I hate OP Harry fics and like you said in a AN, I don't want him to apparate and kill the king but I'm really starting to question the logic behind some of these decisions
I wrote my comment before finishing this chapter and damn, the ending just made it a lot worse. I really love your world building, Harry building a castle and learning lots of things by himself but damn this is starting to remind me of a fic where the characters are just punished for the sake of creating "angst". I hate OP Harry fics and like you said in a AN, I don't want him to apparate and kill the king but I'm really starting to question the logic behind some of these decisions