for I, Draugr5/21 c16 Archangel Change24
I just had an amazing thought. If he gets to habe a second word as part of his “thuum chanting” then he should do Yol Ro with the fire wolf bois.
I just had an amazing thought. If he gets to habe a second word as part of his “thuum chanting” then he should do Yol Ro with the fire wolf bois.
5/15 c41 
1Haldir639
Broadly a very entertaining read, though I feel like the premise of the fic changes multiple time throughout the posted chapters, as though the outline was too vague and the author kept veering off on tangents. I was sorry to see the necromancy-thing all but disappear with Arkay's blessing, for instance, and Hildr & Gretel (while pretty decent side-characters) have ended up taking a lot of space in the story without really moving things along. Gretel's antics in particular and how chill everyone is with them (Companions included) doesn't seem to mesh well with what we know of Nord culture at all. It also struck me as a bit out-of-place how callous Leonidas was, basically from the start - there was a great opportunity to contrast the Undead with modern sensibilities with the Paladin and her TES morality, for instance. Basically a lot of potential juicy conflict and fantastic moments get written out, lowering the stakes. I don't recall Leonidas being seriously injured, for instance, and Arkay's blessing removes most of the conflict about his state of Undeath - something which should have been a huge deal in the fic IMO.
There's a pretty strong authorial bias favouring certain factions over others as well, which is honestly jarring for how much that sticks out and (IMO) detracts from the much more charming adventures in the early chapters. The Silver Hand was another missed opportunity for further depth IMO.
Other than that my biggest complaint is how quickly Leonidas (and, to an extent, Aurelia & the dragons) got absurdly overpowered. Even on the ground there's no way a moderately strong dragon should be so easy to overpower when even a beginner's Shout is so devastating. I do enjoy the ridiculously explosive fights a lot, but it really does feel like I'm reading about S-ranked Narutoverse ninja clashing, or top-tier heroes & villains in DC or Marvel, as opposed to something more grounded. The red werewolf showing up as Hildr lost control of her emotions was just like Naruto losing control of the Kyubi, for instance, and the Shout used to cut down Odahviing reminded me of the Rasenshuriken.
Actually, thinking about it they don't seem to lose either, which naturally lowers the tension a lot, especially when they produce super-scrolls of healing and dragonbone kit for everyone who isn't getting Thu'um lessons.
Keeping all this in mind, I still think this is an enjoyable fic well worth reading. Characterization, while sometimes odd, is generally continuously that way as opposed to their behavior being full of holes, and the fight scenes & banter are generally all very good. The puns were neat and I was sorry to see them go. Looking forward to seeing where this all leads.
1Haldir639Broadly a very entertaining read, though I feel like the premise of the fic changes multiple time throughout the posted chapters, as though the outline was too vague and the author kept veering off on tangents. I was sorry to see the necromancy-thing all but disappear with Arkay's blessing, for instance, and Hildr & Gretel (while pretty decent side-characters) have ended up taking a lot of space in the story without really moving things along. Gretel's antics in particular and how chill everyone is with them (Companions included) doesn't seem to mesh well with what we know of Nord culture at all. It also struck me as a bit out-of-place how callous Leonidas was, basically from the start - there was a great opportunity to contrast the Undead with modern sensibilities with the Paladin and her TES morality, for instance. Basically a lot of potential juicy conflict and fantastic moments get written out, lowering the stakes. I don't recall Leonidas being seriously injured, for instance, and Arkay's blessing removes most of the conflict about his state of Undeath - something which should have been a huge deal in the fic IMO.
There's a pretty strong authorial bias favouring certain factions over others as well, which is honestly jarring for how much that sticks out and (IMO) detracts from the much more charming adventures in the early chapters. The Silver Hand was another missed opportunity for further depth IMO.
Other than that my biggest complaint is how quickly Leonidas (and, to an extent, Aurelia & the dragons) got absurdly overpowered. Even on the ground there's no way a moderately strong dragon should be so easy to overpower when even a beginner's Shout is so devastating. I do enjoy the ridiculously explosive fights a lot, but it really does feel like I'm reading about S-ranked Narutoverse ninja clashing, or top-tier heroes & villains in DC or Marvel, as opposed to something more grounded. The red werewolf showing up as Hildr lost control of her emotions was just like Naruto losing control of the Kyubi, for instance, and the Shout used to cut down Odahviing reminded me of the Rasenshuriken.
Actually, thinking about it they don't seem to lose either, which naturally lowers the tension a lot, especially when they produce super-scrolls of healing and dragonbone kit for everyone who isn't getting Thu'um lessons.
Keeping all this in mind, I still think this is an enjoyable fic well worth reading. Characterization, while sometimes odd, is generally continuously that way as opposed to their behavior being full of holes, and the fight scenes & banter are generally all very good. The puns were neat and I was sorry to see them go. Looking forward to seeing where this all leads.
5/13 c32 Killerpickle
Droppedyeah it cam be fun but the author clearly doesnt care or put any thought into what they add to the story.
The biggest issues are listed below
- Power scaling: completely fucked its like a pendulum swinging both ways between overpowered, underpowered, to doesnt make sense.
- The system itself is just a forced plot contrivance that removes any form of progression or weight behind anything.
- The gods/higher entitys not acting as they should or having their presence given enough weight/importance for instance any verbal agreement with them should be bindind either magical or they just enforce it themselves (every deal with them by the MC clearly had a way for them to abuse/torture him for their amusementLack of understanding/depth of magic
- lack of understanding of the Thu’um, dragons, the dragonborn and what that means culturally.
- No real progression it tales forever for things to happen and for when things do kick off it gets finished quickly i.e ten chapters were soent talking about wether to go to the college while the MC just fucked around in the mean time…
Droppedyeah it cam be fun but the author clearly doesnt care or put any thought into what they add to the story.
The biggest issues are listed below
- Power scaling: completely fucked its like a pendulum swinging both ways between overpowered, underpowered, to doesnt make sense.
- The system itself is just a forced plot contrivance that removes any form of progression or weight behind anything.
- The gods/higher entitys not acting as they should or having their presence given enough weight/importance for instance any verbal agreement with them should be bindind either magical or they just enforce it themselves (every deal with them by the MC clearly had a way for them to abuse/torture him for their amusementLack of understanding/depth of magic
- lack of understanding of the Thu’um, dragons, the dragonborn and what that means culturally.
- No real progression it tales forever for things to happen and for when things do kick off it gets finished quickly i.e ten chapters were soent talking about wether to go to the college while the MC just fucked around in the mean time…
5/13 c31 Killerpickle
Why is Leo the one teaching her magic when he knows fuck all about how magic actually works, yeah he has some game lore knowledge but that means nothing its like saying you know how a tree grows and saying it needs The Sun and Water.
Then theres the issue of Hildir that for no reason is do godly gifted, and talented she can do things that not even those who have spent their entire lives studying can’t do.
Its just bullshit at most she should be able to equal them after a few months at least in chants that is but even then thats a stretch.
Its ok to have a natural talent in magic but she uneducated and untrained so she doesn’t actually know what shes doing and hasnt developed those skills, if you want to incorporate her preivouse experience witb magic make her good at maintainging steady flows of magic which has helps her in continous spells but still needs to work on control related to things that require change (like a symphony/music going up and down)
Why is Leo the one teaching her magic when he knows fuck all about how magic actually works, yeah he has some game lore knowledge but that means nothing its like saying you know how a tree grows and saying it needs The Sun and Water.
Then theres the issue of Hildir that for no reason is do godly gifted, and talented she can do things that not even those who have spent their entire lives studying can’t do.
Its just bullshit at most she should be able to equal them after a few months at least in chants that is but even then thats a stretch.
Its ok to have a natural talent in magic but she uneducated and untrained so she doesn’t actually know what shes doing and hasnt developed those skills, if you want to incorporate her preivouse experience witb magic make her good at maintainging steady flows of magic which has helps her in continous spells but still needs to work on control related to things that require change (like a symphony/music going up and down)
5/12 c41 Guest
I'm already looking forward to the death of Poopdagger.
I'm already looking forward to the death of Poopdagger.
5/12 c22 Killerpickle
The biggest issue with this story I think is that nothing is really earned abilities wise, he gets super powerful skills, racial bonuses etc then he also gets blessed out of nowhere by the gods as well as getting help from dragons/daedric princes...
Now having someone else solve one of his problems - sleep, that should be something he needs to overcome, by evolving growing to a point that he is more then he was
The biggest issue with this story I think is that nothing is really earned abilities wise, he gets super powerful skills, racial bonuses etc then he also gets blessed out of nowhere by the gods as well as getting help from dragons/daedric princes...
Now having someone else solve one of his problems - sleep, that should be something he needs to overcome, by evolving growing to a point that he is more then he was
5/12 c9 Killerpickle
The Dragonborn doesn't suffer any drawbacks from using the Thu'um, not even normal mortals like the greybeards do they just eventually lose the ability to speak normally without imbuing their voice with Power makign it hazardis to speak.
Aurelia wouldn't hurt herself by just saying a few words, the whole point of being a dragonborn is that their soul (where the thu'um comes from) is a dragons soul, and the Thu'um is their native language its meant to be as easy as breathing.
The Dragonborn doesn't suffer any drawbacks from using the Thu'um, not even normal mortals like the greybeards do they just eventually lose the ability to speak normally without imbuing their voice with Power makign it hazardis to speak.
Aurelia wouldn't hurt herself by just saying a few words, the whole point of being a dragonborn is that their soul (where the thu'um comes from) is a dragons soul, and the Thu'um is their native language its meant to be as easy as breathing.
5/12 c2 Killerpickle
What I would really recommend and suggest is removing entirely the game elements and having the story function based on lore and or your interpretation of the lore as well as how any game elements would function in a 'real world'.
Plus it is much more interesting and makes for an overall better story
It would give everything more structure and weight.
You could also keep the 'game-like' system progression idea by having the MC be semi possessed by a spirit or the lingering soul of the Daugr, giving advice explaining things, the body's/other souls natural inclination towards magic etc effecting the MC.
What I would really recommend and suggest is removing entirely the game elements and having the story function based on lore and or your interpretation of the lore as well as how any game elements would function in a 'real world'.
Plus it is much more interesting and makes for an overall better story
It would give everything more structure and weight.
You could also keep the 'game-like' system progression idea by having the MC be semi possessed by a spirit or the lingering soul of the Daugr, giving advice explaining things, the body's/other souls natural inclination towards magic etc effecting the MC.
5/11 c41 1GideonBlackthorn
poodaggah son of shitsniffer and snotmuncher lord of the soiled loin loths and head of the lazy eye legions. blessed be his name (plz dont let him sit at the table i want to eat something this century, which i can't do being within 35ft of him)
1GideonBlackthornpoodaggah son of shitsniffer and snotmuncher lord of the soiled loin loths and head of the lazy eye legions. blessed be his name (plz dont let him sit at the table i want to eat something this century, which i can't do being within 35ft of him)
5/11 c41 Guest
thanks for having that scene with Leo acknowledging his feelings openly for Hildr and Aurelia
thanks for having that scene with Leo acknowledging his feelings openly for Hildr and Aurelia
5/11 c41 Guest
all hail the immortal poopdaggah
all hail the immortal poopdaggah
5/10 c41 Guest
Vulthuryol would meet a hammerhead shark and definitely feel offended.
Vulthuryol would meet a hammerhead shark and definitely feel offended.