for A Wizard in the MCU7/27/2024 c7 
1Joe Lawyer
Integrating a song into a chapter is always a crapshoot. I've seen it done well, but it's pretty rare and usually has to be done in very, very small doses. Here, I'm not sure it worked as it was very long, with many verses, and you were leaning really hard on the emotions Harry was experiencing. That makes him come off as some kind of EMO anime protagonist, someone that is really hard to like.
I am really hoping we get to see Harry living his life as a wizard soon. 7 chapters and 31k words and it feels like this is a muggle character who just happens to be named Harry Potter, rather than the wizard Harry Potter we all know and love.
1Joe LawyerIntegrating a song into a chapter is always a crapshoot. I've seen it done well, but it's pretty rare and usually has to be done in very, very small doses. Here, I'm not sure it worked as it was very long, with many verses, and you were leaning really hard on the emotions Harry was experiencing. That makes him come off as some kind of EMO anime protagonist, someone that is really hard to like.
I am really hoping we get to see Harry living his life as a wizard soon. 7 chapters and 31k words and it feels like this is a muggle character who just happens to be named Harry Potter, rather than the wizard Harry Potter we all know and love.
7/27/2024 c7 Bountyhunter1977
If Harry does start using magic as a hero I hope, and I know it will not happen dang it, that his hero costume acts/ works like moon knights but without the split personality's and a annoying god talking to him lol.
If Harry does start using magic as a hero I hope, and I know it will not happen dang it, that his hero costume acts/ works like moon knights but without the split personality's and a annoying god talking to him lol.
7/27/2024 c7 DuckyRorive
this chapter was brilliant i enjoyed how you didnt compromise harrys beliefs to make him join SHEILD. i enjoy the little tidbit about the postcard, and the song as perfectly chosen
this chapter was brilliant i enjoyed how you didnt compromise harrys beliefs to make him join SHEILD. i enjoy the little tidbit about the postcard, and the song as perfectly chosen
7/26/2024 c7 Wrixel
I think you expressed Harrys feelings expertly. It Is very rare to read something like that fiting with song. Thank you for your wonderfull work.
I think you expressed Harrys feelings expertly. It Is very rare to read something like that fiting with song. Thank you for your wonderfull work.
7/26/2024 c7 Ariadne Venegas
So if Harry had took the offer he could had work with Natasha, but she wouldn’t be happy there. Also Natasha is not retiring of being an spy is trading… IDk how Harry will take it, in any case she has no alternative Shield was going to kill her.
If Harry was Shield he would be in another part of Shield than Natasha, like operations or of the numerous soldiers even if he maintain the captain status. I think he did good not accepting. Only if Harry was known as enhanced only then it could be good because he could have a better job or be an avenger, but be known as an enhanced it is not too good in any way, for what Harry wants in life.
So if Harry had took the offer he could had work with Natasha, but she wouldn’t be happy there. Also Natasha is not retiring of being an spy is trading… IDk how Harry will take it, in any case she has no alternative Shield was going to kill her.
If Harry was Shield he would be in another part of Shield than Natasha, like operations or of the numerous soldiers even if he maintain the captain status. I think he did good not accepting. Only if Harry was known as enhanced only then it could be good because he could have a better job or be an avenger, but be known as an enhanced it is not too good in any way, for what Harry wants in life.
7/26/2024 c7 Guest
Another AI jockey
Another AI jockey
7/20/2024 c6 5TigerWolf
This is such a fun story to read. I love the passing of time for the first few chapters. It was a great way to convey plot. It felt like life and how the important moments slow down but the day to day just passes by. Looking forward to the chapters that will come
5TigerWolfThis is such a fun story to read. I love the passing of time for the first few chapters. It was a great way to convey plot. It felt like life and how the important moments slow down but the day to day just passes by. Looking forward to the chapters that will come
7/20/2024 c2 arrogant-punk
Lose the thesaurus. Your writing is stilted and awkward.
Write like you speak and be genuine. This is painful.
Also, the “magic made me do it“ rationale is pretty thin. You spent all that time laboriously building Harry into a responsible and driven leader…. Only to say “fuck it, redhead, lets fuck and damage my duty and sense of honor.”
Make them believable people with believable reasons, youre forcing it to create a pairing.
Lose the thesaurus. Your writing is stilted and awkward.
Write like you speak and be genuine. This is painful.
Also, the “magic made me do it“ rationale is pretty thin. You spent all that time laboriously building Harry into a responsible and driven leader…. Only to say “fuck it, redhead, lets fuck and damage my duty and sense of honor.”
Make them believable people with believable reasons, youre forcing it to create a pairing.