for Cardinal Restart9/26/2024 c1 naedinefebruary2.0
Wassup,
Having read your absorbing Story, Cardinal Restart, I found many things to admire in the weighty narrative and imaginative flair. Your storytelling is truly remarkable, and I really do think that it can reach a wider audience as a comic. I'm a commission artist with broad experience in converting literature into striking comic format. I will be proud to reformat your story into this dynamic format. Let me just take you through some of my portfolio samples of previous works. Your literature is a masterpiece, and as goes the proverb, A comic can capture the essence of the story, so that would add more power to your literature. I look forward to the possibility of working together. As I am open to commission I'd really appreciate that if you could commission me for this. Do message me on discord with your story name.
Here is my discord : naedinefebruary
Hope to hear back from you soon.
Wassup,
Having read your absorbing Story, Cardinal Restart, I found many things to admire in the weighty narrative and imaginative flair. Your storytelling is truly remarkable, and I really do think that it can reach a wider audience as a comic. I'm a commission artist with broad experience in converting literature into striking comic format. I will be proud to reformat your story into this dynamic format. Let me just take you through some of my portfolio samples of previous works. Your literature is a masterpiece, and as goes the proverb, A comic can capture the essence of the story, so that would add more power to your literature. I look forward to the possibility of working together. As I am open to commission I'd really appreciate that if you could commission me for this. Do message me on discord with your story name.
Here is my discord : naedinefebruary
Hope to hear back from you soon.
6/28/2024 c2 Guest
Love this please don't let it die
Love this please don't let it die
6/26/2024 c2 
38Don Orbit
What do you mean "cute kid"? Velvet is literally your senior by a year, boy! Honestly, it's pretty pathetic when you think about it that way, but Velvet is usually not that confident now is she?
Personally, I do get his reaction, but it is one of those things I actually really dislike about time travel stories. Also, yes, I dislike "travel back in time" or "regression" stories with a burning hatred. Maybe I should have pointed that out earlier. My personal gripe with it is just that most authors have no clue how to write a time travel story without either creating a nonsensical paradox or essentially play by the book, meaning that even if the regressed individual has knowledge about the past, they are automatically all knowing and nothing can surprise them. Now that mind sound strange to you, but I'm not referring to the things that this person has personally seen and experienced during the first run, but rather that no matter what they do, they do not change the events unfold in the timeline to a degree that it would actually be bad for them or they are never faced with an unexpected event that they perhaps haven't been aware off at all or that was caused by them altering the past.
Look, the concept of cause and effect is a two-way street and even if you don't intent on doing it, you cause a diviation within the timeline through the smallest and seemingly most insignificant of actions and for some reason this is always forgotten or it serves as another convenient plot device in most stories to stack the deck even more in favour of the protagonist. That's one of the big reasons why the moment I read the word regression in a manga or novel title, I immediately turn around, walk the other way and do not look back. Time travel is stupid and pulling it off in a not stupid way is both very rare to find and very hard to pull off like they did in Dragon Ball Z where it is pretty much confirmed that going back in time doesn't erase one's past mistakes but rather just splits the timeline.
Now there isn't much to actually comment on in this chapter, but I wonder what roles both Sky and Russel will play since it looks like you are solely focusing on Cardin and Dove.
38Don OrbitWhat do you mean "cute kid"? Velvet is literally your senior by a year, boy! Honestly, it's pretty pathetic when you think about it that way, but Velvet is usually not that confident now is she?
Personally, I do get his reaction, but it is one of those things I actually really dislike about time travel stories. Also, yes, I dislike "travel back in time" or "regression" stories with a burning hatred. Maybe I should have pointed that out earlier. My personal gripe with it is just that most authors have no clue how to write a time travel story without either creating a nonsensical paradox or essentially play by the book, meaning that even if the regressed individual has knowledge about the past, they are automatically all knowing and nothing can surprise them. Now that mind sound strange to you, but I'm not referring to the things that this person has personally seen and experienced during the first run, but rather that no matter what they do, they do not change the events unfold in the timeline to a degree that it would actually be bad for them or they are never faced with an unexpected event that they perhaps haven't been aware off at all or that was caused by them altering the past.
Look, the concept of cause and effect is a two-way street and even if you don't intent on doing it, you cause a diviation within the timeline through the smallest and seemingly most insignificant of actions and for some reason this is always forgotten or it serves as another convenient plot device in most stories to stack the deck even more in favour of the protagonist. That's one of the big reasons why the moment I read the word regression in a manga or novel title, I immediately turn around, walk the other way and do not look back. Time travel is stupid and pulling it off in a not stupid way is both very rare to find and very hard to pull off like they did in Dragon Ball Z where it is pretty much confirmed that going back in time doesn't erase one's past mistakes but rather just splits the timeline.
Now there isn't much to actually comment on in this chapter, but I wonder what roles both Sky and Russel will play since it looks like you are solely focusing on Cardin and Dove.
6/26/2024 c1 Don Orbit
First of all, I want to say that this is a great manwha inspired story idea, because not only am I personally a fan of the Solo Leveling style or monster dungeon apocalypse (when done right of course), I also think that the writers at RT after Mounty's death (may he rest in peace) really wasted a lot of potential on what they could have done with Cardin's character almost as much as they could have done with Adam. I mean, from what we have seen in the RWBY franchise up until RT was shut down, there have been no mentions of Cardin and his team after the Fall of Beacon at all, while we did see what CVFY and SSSN were up to in Vacuo.
On that note, I also agree with the author's note at the ending that if it comes to whether he could have been redeemed. Heck, the whole point of Jaune's Bully Arc (no pun intended) ended on a rather positive note between Jaune and Cardin where the former seems to have gained some respect from the latter and even ended on Jaune telling Cardin to not pick on his friends. We also never see Cardin bully Velvet again after that point, I think, so in all honesty season 2 would have been the perfect time to showcase whether he had changed his ways or not.
(Though I'd argue that Neo never redeemed herself, but instead saw that her life had no meaning without her killing Ruby and just resigned herself to be reborn, hitting the reset button and thus losing all of her former self and effectively killing herself)
But alas, I think I actually saw the whole tower appearing thing in a manwha that I no longer remember the name of. And no, I'm not talking about that wannabe One Punch Man stuff that was The Tutorial Tower's Advanced Player, which was utter excrement in my opinion. There were a few others with towers specifically appearing around the globe, but I just don't recall the name anymore.
Anyhow, the idea is interesting, since it seems like the tower wasn't cleared in this timeline, meaning there is still more surprises waiting for him throughout the story. Also, the idea of there being other god-like entities in the larger cosmos aside from the Brothers and the Tree that spawned them is not bad, even if I admit it is a bit straight forward with some chronomancer demon here.
But what I'm really interested in are the events that led to all of this happening, which is often something completely glossed over in stories like this one. At the start you said that the Brothers were killed and the Tree in the Everafter burnt down, but there were four corpses? Who might those be? Team RWBY from the canon timeline during their trip in the Everafter? The gods, the cat and the jabberwock? The gods, Ozma and Salem? Who knows?
First of all, I want to say that this is a great manwha inspired story idea, because not only am I personally a fan of the Solo Leveling style or monster dungeon apocalypse (when done right of course), I also think that the writers at RT after Mounty's death (may he rest in peace) really wasted a lot of potential on what they could have done with Cardin's character almost as much as they could have done with Adam. I mean, from what we have seen in the RWBY franchise up until RT was shut down, there have been no mentions of Cardin and his team after the Fall of Beacon at all, while we did see what CVFY and SSSN were up to in Vacuo.
On that note, I also agree with the author's note at the ending that if it comes to whether he could have been redeemed. Heck, the whole point of Jaune's Bully Arc (no pun intended) ended on a rather positive note between Jaune and Cardin where the former seems to have gained some respect from the latter and even ended on Jaune telling Cardin to not pick on his friends. We also never see Cardin bully Velvet again after that point, I think, so in all honesty season 2 would have been the perfect time to showcase whether he had changed his ways or not.
(Though I'd argue that Neo never redeemed herself, but instead saw that her life had no meaning without her killing Ruby and just resigned herself to be reborn, hitting the reset button and thus losing all of her former self and effectively killing herself)
But alas, I think I actually saw the whole tower appearing thing in a manwha that I no longer remember the name of. And no, I'm not talking about that wannabe One Punch Man stuff that was The Tutorial Tower's Advanced Player, which was utter excrement in my opinion. There were a few others with towers specifically appearing around the globe, but I just don't recall the name anymore.
Anyhow, the idea is interesting, since it seems like the tower wasn't cleared in this timeline, meaning there is still more surprises waiting for him throughout the story. Also, the idea of there being other god-like entities in the larger cosmos aside from the Brothers and the Tree that spawned them is not bad, even if I admit it is a bit straight forward with some chronomancer demon here.
But what I'm really interested in are the events that led to all of this happening, which is often something completely glossed over in stories like this one. At the start you said that the Brothers were killed and the Tree in the Everafter burnt down, but there were four corpses? Who might those be? Team RWBY from the canon timeline during their trip in the Everafter? The gods, the cat and the jabberwock? The gods, Ozma and Salem? Who knows?