for Lost Eyes of Magic12/3 c12 Fang723
Just a note that you need to be careful with how you describe Harry’s actions. There are quite a few places so far where you describe the blind kid looking around or, as in this chapter, “assessing his work with a sharp eye.” If you’re going to write a story about a blind kid, the one thing you must be most careful of is ensuring he doesn’t do things blind kids can’t do, even with magic sensing.
Just a note that you need to be careful with how you describe Harry’s actions. There are quite a few places so far where you describe the blind kid looking around or, as in this chapter, “assessing his work with a sharp eye.” If you’re going to write a story about a blind kid, the one thing you must be most careful of is ensuring he doesn’t do things blind kids can’t do, even with magic sensing.
11/22 c10 Glitner
i dont really know the story itself seems pretty intresting but it feels like its written by an AI or at least have the feeling of it , you are using the same words over and over in tons of sentences just like it does when an AI is writing , like the " harry feel warmth bloom in his chest" or somthing similar to that, i have read that now atleast 30 times or atleast it feels like it haha, or the " dumbledors words settle into harry, their weight shifted something within him" similar sentences with "something shifting within him" have been used to max aswell in almost all chapters. dunno it got a very AI-ish feeling to it , might be wrong but just had to comment on it
i dont really know the story itself seems pretty intresting but it feels like its written by an AI or at least have the feeling of it , you are using the same words over and over in tons of sentences just like it does when an AI is writing , like the " harry feel warmth bloom in his chest" or somthing similar to that, i have read that now atleast 30 times or atleast it feels like it haha, or the " dumbledors words settle into harry, their weight shifted something within him" similar sentences with "something shifting within him" have been used to max aswell in almost all chapters. dunno it got a very AI-ish feeling to it , might be wrong but just had to comment on it
11/2 c9 Fafnir the golden monarch
You are showing very nice character growth between the three friends. Especially Daphne and Harry's doubts
You are showing very nice character growth between the three friends. Especially Daphne and Harry's doubts
10/29 c1 Moon Pix
it seems scrambled...
sometimes you skip some points where it's not clear what has happened. after the bank Harry is on the floor with books around him? Which ones setting as he didn't go to the bookstore. then he wakes up an a inn which is not clear when he got there... did he stay the night and only the next day when on shopping? then he exislts the bookshop and goes to the animal shop where hedwig has already a name... but after his at the bookshop again?
other times he repeats basically the same thought 3 times over one after the other, as in he had a new realisation so over again (but he already had it just the minute before...)
it seems scrambled...
sometimes you skip some points where it's not clear what has happened. after the bank Harry is on the floor with books around him? Which ones setting as he didn't go to the bookstore. then he wakes up an a inn which is not clear when he got there... did he stay the night and only the next day when on shopping? then he exislts the bookshop and goes to the animal shop where hedwig has already a name... but after his at the bookshop again?
other times he repeats basically the same thought 3 times over one after the other, as in he had a new realisation so over again (but he already had it just the minute before...)
10/29 c1 Guest
He is... blind? But why lmao
I like dark Harry stories, saving this one for later to decide if I want to commit reading. Good luck!
He is... blind? But why lmao
I like dark Harry stories, saving this one for later to decide if I want to commit reading. Good luck!
10/27 c3 Animeworld2.0
Hello,
I hope this message finds you well. I run a YouTube channel called Infinity Harry (Channel link: Infinityharry), where I share fanfiction stories with an audience that prefers listening over reading.
I will give proper credit in the description of your story, will also share video link under your story review for your view and we respect authors and their copyright.
If you have any suggestions, such as a title starting with “What If” or any other preferences, I am ready to make changes according to your preferences.
I would appreciate your cooperation. Please reply at your earliest convenience with permission. Thank you.
Hello,
I hope this message finds you well. I run a YouTube channel called Infinity Harry (Channel link: Infinityharry), where I share fanfiction stories with an audience that prefers listening over reading.
I will give proper credit in the description of your story, will also share video link under your story review for your view and we respect authors and their copyright.
If you have any suggestions, such as a title starting with “What If” or any other preferences, I am ready to make changes according to your preferences.
I would appreciate your cooperation. Please reply at your earliest convenience with permission. Thank you.