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for Harry Black Book 1: The Hero Returns (Definitive Edition)

10/27/2024 c5 Slytherin Potter
This Harry is so much fun haha I love it. I was a bit disappointed he was unable to be in the same House as Michael (Im a Ravenclaw as well), but its all good we all know his mind was thoughts of nothing but the House of Brave gotta love Gryffindor!

Cannot wait to see more of his interactions with Michael and Astoria.. not to mention his dreaded one with Snape of all people.
10/27/2024 c4 Slytherin Potter
Sirius, Remus, and company did a real good job of raising Harry. I'm really loving how confident he is with himself and how much of a normal (well as normal as you get) childhood he has. Much more entertaining to see because he isn't in his shell as canon Harry was until obviously later when he came into his own.
10/27/2024 c8 40Concolor44
You certainly do have a good handle on how to execute a cliffhanger.

Damn it.

Also, Draco will in all likelihood not learn anything from their last encounter, and eventually will end up short a few teeth.
10/27/2024 c8 10CaskettFan5
Wow, you're grabbing events from all over and using them elsewhere. Seems odd that a Harry with a happier upbringing struggles so much coming up with a happy memory. I like how you have Harry and Daphne reacting to each other, it is better this time.
10/27/2024 c8 codywhite162
This story is very fun to read so far and I cannot wait to find out what happens next.
10/26/2024 c3 gigamans57
Oh ok it's already going downhill. Why would they send dementors man, it's just canon rehashing.
10/26/2024 c7 CaskettFan5
Canon Dumbledore's morality is definitely dubious but some of it was just plain mistakes or negligence. How much of each it was is up for debate. I like how Harry is being less annoying although he seems to trigger Daphne pretty easily but that might be more on her than him.
10/26/2024 c7 SDwrong
Sheesh, a few typos garbles some of my signed review.

Using equal sign ... & greater sign , below, which maybe don't work as text in review text..
Below some swap in/out edits.

or dislike me more if there's an odd love hate emotional confusion thing going on."

if there's NOT an odd love/hate ...

the forest memory[& passing out! )] .

the forest, having memory problems

trio of little red hens' adventure remains the

trio of little red DIM hens'(DoItMyself) adventures remains the

Ugh, just editing entire last paragraph of the review.

Certainly not soley just a canon clone in compressed timeline. Lot of alteration to work out molding it together.

A fuzzy memory, mostly a guess what it entailed, would be: suck in Philosopher's Stone plot, & Quirelle, & diaryMort, into TwT year, with preface(start), a very altered from canon, Sirius/Harry meetup, as Harry leaving #4, after hugely hyperbolicAsized accidental accidentally on purpose[Wandless, rage, INTENT] version of the canon inflated Marge, "accidental magic" event.
10/26/2024 c7 Smutley Do-Wrong
She doesn't actually have a thing for that creep, does she? Harry thought in horror.

Soon as read that.
I thought it useful for Harry to be ...FRANKly blunt.

One narrative I don't recall, about JKR's decision to match/Marry off Ron to Hermione. Maybe some of the fallout from that, we get fanon tropes, such as with Molly so bossy, Ron hooks up with a bossy Hermione.
Or bickering, fighting Hermione-Ron, is model for, result of, or basis for a passionate romance.
Hence perhaps with freaky popularity of looney Dramione pairing, I'd wondered if the bickering canon Hermione-Ron, part of the bizarre illogic of SO POPULAR, Hermione-Draco pairings, as after all, that's just Hermione-Ron with more venom & conflict...lol, so more passionate romance (gag).

In such a vein, or author use just above for inspiration, such as Harry talking to Daphne, saying he observed her APPARANT dislike of Draco(maybe as a rhetorical question supposition).

Eg.
"I had the impression you detested Draco. But your reaction to the duel, I'm worried you've got like, one of those twisted romance things, publically openly hostile to Draco, but thrilled or turned on by bickering and conflict, you might actually fancy Draco."

With such a quip, and DIRECT approach, Harry can instantly relieve that horror, that Daphne actually likes Draco.
He also gets to rile her up.

There you go, not much of an add-in edit if it seems a good enough gag to insert.
Lol, could even add-in, Harry adding, "Unless of course, you actually like me also, and it makes you act hostile to me.
Perhaps keeping a scorecard, with running point totals, for incidents when you express hostility for Draco vs myself, I might discern if you like me more than Draco ...or dislike me more if there's an odd love hate emotional confusion thing going on."

Hermione not in Harry's House.
Useful in my opinion, aiding a bit in helping to be less tempted to cloning parts of canon.
Dead Ginny, I was about 30/70 on chances Hermione was also being Trolled out of the story.
A dead Ginny though, IMO would cast a shadow...fallout affect on Weasleys.(upbeat twins? Although Ron being an ass, compatible with dead Gin aftermath.)

Harry, particularly if continues keeping pretty odd info to himself(scar pain around Quirelle, AND the by the forest memory[& passing out! )] ...does it fit the Harry(not #4 raised, neglected) being so closed off, not giving info to adults?

IMO, JKR canon runs pretty constant plot contrivance, of pushing adults off "stage", so trio of little red hens' adventure remains the
centerpiece.

So many years ago, when I shelved million or more words of half dozen or more never completed HP fanfics.
I did an even greater COMPRESSION experiment.
As TWT has so much promise, & book 1,2,3 can get so sloggy(some fanon hugely longer than the 3 JKR books).
I'm forgetting somewhat, if I compressed plots of 1,2,3 as like prelude for 4, or if had some 1234 plots and action all folded into a fanfic of TwT year.
I barely recall, but think the fanfic actually had been coming together ok, most unexpectedly lol, functioning, not a disaster.

Certainly not a canon clone, lot of alteration, a fuzzy memory, mostly a guess what it entailed would be: suck in Philosopher's Stone plot, & Quirelle, & diaryMort, into TwT year, with very altered Sirius/Harry meetup, as Harry leaving #4, after hugely hyperbolicAsized accidental accidentally on purpose[Wandless, rage, INTENT] version of the canon inflated Marge event.
10/26/2024 c2 gigamans57
This is really well written, it is a significantly better start than the last one from what I remember.

I do question the intelligence of walking into a school Voldemort JUST killed someone in, but it's a good risk if Dumbledore is actually going to train him.

I like that this starts earlier at 13, but I am also hoping that the romance doesn't start immediately he like 'falls in love' at 13 or something. No 13 year old is in love.
10/26/2024 c7 Romedov
This portrayal of Dumbledore is much more to my liking! Thank you for an amazing chapter!
10/26/2024 c6 CaskettFan5
I'd say mission accomplished regarding Harry and Michael.
10/26/2024 c5 CaskettFan5
I liked to read that first interaction (again) too. Onward!
10/26/2024 c7 soccer13boy13
Loving this so far, and I genuinely like this Dumbledore more so far.
10/26/2024 c7 T
I read and followed the Harry Black series a while ago, and I recently saw that you had started a definitive edition. Your style of writing has definitely improved, and I love the changes that you have made so far. Keep up the good work, and I cannot wait for the next chapter!
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