1/24 c3 Aquarheus
Ok couple things. Ash is still a retard, he’s just not with a pokemon that would get him in trouble on his first day. Second, a gyrados would not be beaten by a first episode misty and a squirtle. Third, a gym leader is not going to be impressed because you like your Pokemon and squirtle and ash haven’t even had a bonding experience yet, so that just makes no sense. Then there is your character development, which for some reason, happens when a random stranger tells a traumatized girl one sentence about them being a pokemon trainer while she’s being attacked by the cause of her trauma, and she suddenly is strong enough to beat a literal dragon. Then the rocket encounter makes no sense. Why would a member of team rocket allow someone who can threaten them to just follow behind her. After that, Ash just sits there watching as a bunch of wild pokemon are poached and is just allowed to leave? Then the gym is the same, but ash having no pride at all bugs me. Anyway the pacing is horrible so I’m gonna stop reading here, good luck.

1/9 c9 carlos29
this is a fantastic story; is a wonderfull.

1/8 c9 Vital Info
No need to explain the Muk catch. It's underappreciated. Just be sure to give him die justice especially in battles like using him against Blaine or Giovanni. I bet it can do some massive damage with it's poison and evasion tactics against strong Trainers like them. Feels too soon to use him against Koga or Janine and then being Poison Specialists wood mean they avoid the damage or find ways of dealing more than Muk can before Ash gets a chance to really implement a sound strategy that would make Muk shine. Against Blaine and Giovanni though...game on.

That battle with Eirka last chapter was intriguing. She was actually excited to use her stronger Mons. As she said often looked over and used as one of the first four badges to gain in the Indigo League Conference Circuit, it's nice to see her have the drive to push those looking for their 5th badge and up. While Charmeleon takes the w then I see a lot of potential trouble if it can't hold back it's pride and wanting to do everything himself as displayed here. It's that erratic behavior that leads to the ego that crippled Ash in canon. This being an AU I hope a way can be found to help Charmeleon understand it's role and how the whole team, not just him are what will lead Ash to victory.

Adding Magnemite was a great choice. I'm hoping this universe is versed in dark and steel types prior to Johto. World building is a critical asset to stories not feeling so out of date and again mirror the canon. Things like lessons of Hisui and the variants of the different regions, Z Moves, Mega Stones and so much don't need to make their debuts until needed but certainly the knowledge that they are present in the world helps the readers know they won't have to wait as per canon to see their favorite Gen Pokemon or mechanic appear in the order the canon. Waiting to Galar/Journeys to see Gmax and more when for ex.

If Ash were at home between region transitions, he was watching TV much like he did in the first canon episode and we see its Steven Stone using Mega Metagross vs Leon using Gmax Charizard in an exhibition match in Alola to commemorate the debut of their League and faces in the crowd include Cynthia and so on is a great way to acknowledge a lot of what's happening in the Pokemon World prior to going to Hoenn, Sinnoh, Kalos, Alola and Galar but the info their mechanics and characters are present is a stand out sign of your world building skills moving forward. Just saying.

The chapters were decent and with the promise of the Safari Zone and Fuchsia Gym coming up soon I look forward to seeing what's next soon.

1/7 c8 1DragonicFireLord
I hope that The Celestial Redo will resume soon also excellent job as always good to see that Charizard might not be as disobedient here

1/6 c7 Vital Info
Now this was a good turn of events. Though I might've given Ash a Tyrouge to raise to either of the Hits, the use of the Dojo is a pleasant course of actions. Not many use it or embrace the challenge it presents in the canon game events having been an official Gym prior to Sabrina. Acknowledged here made the challenge stand out more and could stand to go a long way in the Dojo being reinstated as a Gym once more. Canon Gary showed clearly there's more Gyms than the standard 8. The Yas and Kaz Gums of Dark City showcase this. I hope Hitmonlee finds a good Trainer one day. Seeing the poor Mom feel dejected hit the feels for some reason.

Now the challenge with Sabrina was a unique encounter. To see Haunter evenly match Kadabra was interesting though I don't if that speaks well to Ash in how he's raised his Mons or Sabrina for growing complacent in her role as Gym Leaders even for challengers below 4 badges. Her reputation alone suggested she'd use Pokemon out of the ordinary to highlight their Psychic association such a Butterfree, Slowbro and more but it was still a fun battle to read through and the promise of an exchange was nice but...too early. I would hold off. Have Ash say yes but at a different time to get to know Haunter a bit better and come back around to Saffron prior to the Indigo League beginning to get his Gengar. I'm never against a Mon evolving but seeing as Pidgeotto became a Pidgeot here as did Ghastly to Haunter, it'd be odd to see Pokemon outside of the starters reach their final stages so soon.

Balance is key. Gengar around the time Ash faces Blaine seems more plausible but that's me. It's your story, so how with your gut. Overall a big improvement from the last chapter and more original choices are being displayed which makes the story stand out more. Well done.

1/5 c6 Vital Info
This story has decent potential though I wish like this chapter at the end it implemented more original choices. Not having Pikachu is a decent starting point but so far it's been a play by play of Ash's original journey bar a few twists. Take Charmander for ex. By nature of Ash getting Pikachu, facing the Spearow flock, having to deal to TR at every possible turn and so on his journey was delayed essentially days that allowed him to be there for Charmander when Damian abandoned him. Here no such delays were an issue and practically arrived a day even 2 ahead of canon events. So why not make the moment Charmander was encountered a bit more thrilling? Have Damian and Ash battle. Ash defeats Charmander and Damian shows his disdain much like Paul did in Sinnoh and build up to the release of Charmander by say the time they're around Saffron. Maybe even Violet City where Damian would be sick of Charmander and even abandon him in the Safari Zone to the mercy of the flocks of Pokemon in the area to do with him what they pleased.

The change in starter and being on time merits more original choices and changes to the story than those already displayed. Meeting a different Pokemon outside of Mankey soon, the starters outside of Charmander evolving at least to their middle stages, not having to cross dress when he challenges Erika cause she's not egotistical about her perfume and actually does her duties as a Gym Leader and so on. Point being while the shortened account of events helps speed run the length of the journey to possibly covers everything from Kanto to Galar, it shouldn't be a mirroring journey to that he already had. There's no fun in knowing his journey will be the same as his canon journey was. Which is why I liked the addition of Ghastly. It was one of the better choices along with Ash traveling alone. It just needs a punch up in the originality factor. The story is young and can pivot towards this goal. So good luck and hopefully the changes of Ash starting on time and being without Pikachu show more soon.

12/30/2024 c1 4CRed1988
Nice start! Is it possible to see Ash capture Scyther earlier?