for Shake Up My Life4/14/2004 c5 Strega
Aw! I drew you a Yami pic. and I just realized you didn't submit an email address!
:( It's fairly good, too! Nya!
Aw! I drew you a Yami pic. and I just realized you didn't submit an email address!
:( It's fairly good, too! Nya!
4/14/2004 c6 x Hearts
REALLY REALLY GOOD STORY! totally love it! DON'T LET SETO RAPE YUGI! NO...continue soon
REALLY REALLY GOOD STORY! totally love it! DON'T LET SETO RAPE YUGI! NO...continue soon
4/14/2004 c6 
20Silvershadowfire
This is a neat story. I'd love to smack Seto up against a wall for doing that to Yugi, and if I was in Yami's shoes he'd be a dead man. Wolf. Whatever, he'd be six foot under.
The only thing I would suggest is that you use more commas to break up your sentances. It will help both to shorten run-on sentences and clear up confusion in some longer passages. This is something that I do - read the passage out loud to yourself. Wherever you would naturally pause, put a comma. Also, there is no need to repeat yourself in one sentence.
Example: "Who did this to you?" Yami whispered though he already had a pretty good idea who it was.
It would read better as "Who did this to you?" Yami whispered, though he already had a pretty good idea.
See the difference? Please don't take this as a flame, I am enjoying the story very much. I just like to help other writers develop their craft.
Good luck and I look forward to the next chapter.
20SilvershadowfireThis is a neat story. I'd love to smack Seto up against a wall for doing that to Yugi, and if I was in Yami's shoes he'd be a dead man. Wolf. Whatever, he'd be six foot under.
The only thing I would suggest is that you use more commas to break up your sentances. It will help both to shorten run-on sentences and clear up confusion in some longer passages. This is something that I do - read the passage out loud to yourself. Wherever you would naturally pause, put a comma. Also, there is no need to repeat yourself in one sentence.
Example: "Who did this to you?" Yami whispered though he already had a pretty good idea who it was.
It would read better as "Who did this to you?" Yami whispered, though he already had a pretty good idea.
See the difference? Please don't take this as a flame, I am enjoying the story very much. I just like to help other writers develop their craft.
Good luck and I look forward to the next chapter.
4/14/2004 c6 8Tenma Kitsune
I thot u abandoned the fic or something! lol, anyways, great job and wow, it really is angsty. Is Yami some super destined Pharaoh to be or something? anyways, update ASAP!
-Tenma Koneko
8Tenma KitsuneI thot u abandoned the fic or something! lol, anyways, great job and wow, it really is angsty. Is Yami some super destined Pharaoh to be or something? anyways, update ASAP!
-Tenma Koneko
4/14/2004 c6 32YumeTakato
Seto's eyes a blue
And anyways, I'm so happy you updated! I missed this ficcy! n.n update again soon sometime!
32YumeTakatoSeto's eyes a blue
And anyways, I'm so happy you updated! I missed this ficcy! n.n update again soon sometime!
4/13/2004 c6 Strega
Oh, you made me get so mad this chapter. (Very good! You manipulated me to anger. I rarely get pissy during a read)
I kept thinking 'Yugi, put down the damned sandwich and pick up a butcher knife and carve yourself a little Seto instead!' (Growls)
And why is it Yugi's Dad thought that his little heir being raped was 'Okay.' I mean, aren't their any wolfy rules about not taking your mate before you officially claim him/her?
(Still fuming)
While Yugi was being molested, I would read a line and then think 'Come on Yami! Where are you when Yugi needs you!'
(Fuming over)
Well, I got the chapter I requested. And thank you so much for the update. Hopefully someone else's blood will occupy the next chapter (cough-Seto-cough)
Sorry about you being sick and your puppy : (
Oh, you made me get so mad this chapter. (Very good! You manipulated me to anger. I rarely get pissy during a read)
I kept thinking 'Yugi, put down the damned sandwich and pick up a butcher knife and carve yourself a little Seto instead!' (Growls)
And why is it Yugi's Dad thought that his little heir being raped was 'Okay.' I mean, aren't their any wolfy rules about not taking your mate before you officially claim him/her?
(Still fuming)
While Yugi was being molested, I would read a line and then think 'Come on Yami! Where are you when Yugi needs you!'
(Fuming over)
Well, I got the chapter I requested. And thank you so much for the update. Hopefully someone else's blood will occupy the next chapter (cough-Seto-cough)
Sorry about you being sick and your puppy : (
4/11/2004 c5 Strega
COME ON! YOU'RE KILLING US!
At least give us a tiny chapter just to make sure we don't pass out from anticipation. I mean, Yugi's in trouble and he will remain so until you update. How can you do that to him? :(
Please update!
COME ON! YOU'RE KILLING US!
At least give us a tiny chapter just to make sure we don't pass out from anticipation. I mean, Yugi's in trouble and he will remain so until you update. How can you do that to him? :(
Please update!
4/9/2004 c5 yugi's dragon friend
WOW, great story. Please keep writing. I'll be checking in. Thanks.
WOW, great story. Please keep writing. I'll be checking in. Thanks.
4/6/2004 c5 balck band aid 450
this is on eof the best stories ever writen on fanfiction...you have to write more...pleaassee
i'll take the liberty of bothering you till you do...cuz i want to know what happens..^^;;
this is on eof the best stories ever writen on fanfiction...you have to write more...pleaassee
i'll take the liberty of bothering you till you do...cuz i want to know what happens..^^;;
4/2/2004 c5 ochibi-chan10
HOW COULD YOU LEAVE IT LIKE THAT AND THEN NOT UPDATE FOR, LIKE 3 MONTHS! I WANT TO READ MORE! hehe, sorry, I just really like the story! Please update really soon!(:
HOW COULD YOU LEAVE IT LIKE THAT AND THEN NOT UPDATE FOR, LIKE 3 MONTHS! I WANT TO READ MORE! hehe, sorry, I just really like the story! Please update really soon!(:
3/28/2004 c5 D
please update please update please update please update please update please update please update please update!
please update please update please update please update please update please update please update please update!
3/27/2004 c5 Rikkeh
I LOVE this story, so please update it soon! Yami is SO incredibly sexy too! *swoons* I've put it on faves, because it's really cool! ^_^ Oh, and is it Seto that's talking to Yuugi at the end? GO BACK AND SAVE HIM, YAMI! GO KICK KAIBAS ASS!
I LOVE this story, so please update it soon! Yami is SO incredibly sexy too! *swoons* I've put it on faves, because it's really cool! ^_^ Oh, and is it Seto that's talking to Yuugi at the end? GO BACK AND SAVE HIM, YAMI! GO KICK KAIBAS ASS!
3/2/2004 c5 Strega
Okay! Seriously, it's updating time!
You got to the good part. Yugi's in trouble. Seth's a [email protected]! And Yami is now in the picture. Come on, bring it on. What next?
PLEASE UPDATE!
Okay! Seriously, it's updating time!
You got to the good part. Yugi's in trouble. Seth's a [email protected]! And Yami is now in the picture. Come on, bring it on. What next?
PLEASE UPDATE!