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for Jonathan

7/6/2011 c4 36BuckeyeBelle
Hi, Jonathan

I wish you had signed your review so that I could have replied in person. I appreciate your comments. Of course not all gay teens, just like not all teens of any orientation, are promiscuous. Alvin is a troubled young man whose home life is anything but ideal. This series continues on my web site, the link will be found on my author page. Alvin's story continues there. His actions stem from his abuse and his need for approval and acceptance, the same reasons straight teens often fall into these self-destructive behavior patterns. There is a light at the end of the tunnel, though. Thank you for reading and commenting.
7/5/2011 c4 John
Good story. Well written. I did not like the part about Alvin, that his name?, claiming to have had sex with all the other gay boys. Most young gays, and yes, high school age is young, are still figuring out things about themselves and don't have sex until much later. Heterosexual kids too fool around but not all go all the way. Oh and contrary to popular belief, only about 20-25% of gay men engage in penetration.
1/28/2008 c1 Badger2395
Great start - but you've got a continuity problem. Battle of Khe Sahn was in 1968. In "Fragile Balance" we discover that Jack's birthdate is in 1952. That's only sixteen years apart, so there's no way Jack could've been there. Even if you're referring to sometime later, the US withdrew most of its forces from Vietnam in 1973, and that's just not a lot of time for Jack to make it through USAF BT and then into Special Forces. I would suggest dropping the direct involvement, and make it instead something he learned from one of his SF instructors. Just a thought.
10/4/2005 c4 5EquinoxSGC
aw grate wrok! I well told story!

keep up the writing!

8/25/2005 c4 Rignach
That was a good story. Would not mind a sequel
6/22/2005 c4 5Teldra
Good story!
3/22/2004 c4 IceQueen1
I really liked this story,and I have to go...so this is gonna be short. Good job. Congrats.
12/30/2003 c4 22BizzyLizzy
Very well written story dealing with a difficult subject. You handled it well.
11/15/2003 c4 9Andromeda Silver
It's so refreshing to find someone with real talent in this genre overflowing with amateurs who seriously need to work on spelling and simple grammer, not to mention the finer points of writing. Overall I thought that your story was well-written and thought out. I especially feel that your writing was strongest at the end, the part where most people end up wrecking a decent plot. You caught the reason why Jack and Jonathan don't, or didn't as the case may be, get along. I'm pretty sure most of us would be disturbed by the behavior of a clone of ourself. You also got Jonathan's personality to evolve past Jack's in a believeable way, and all the characters you introduced were well-rounded and added to the story rather than detracted from it. About the only thing that I can say that's remotely bad about this story is that there were a couple minor grammer mistakes, but stuff like commas are easy to miss or forget. As a sort of side note, I tend to notice that the writers who have talent for whatever reason don't get near the amount of reviews as the "writers" who need to take a remedial writing course. Reviews don't necessarily measure how good a story is. They're more of a measure of how well the author networks or appeals to the mindless masses, which is extremely unfortunate for people like yourself. Keep writing! :~)
11/8/2003 c4 Lynn
I really loved the story. Please write more fanfiction with Jonatahn in it.
10/12/2003 c4 14Dimac99
That was a really, really good story. I know it's only been out for a few days but I'm surprised you don't have loads of positive reviews. I thought it was really well written and I'd love to read more of Jonathan's life as a teenager (again!).
10/11/2003 c4 miscbills
I really like this story. It wasn't rush or too drawn out. Very nicely balance. Your story shows Jonathan settleing into his new life.

Like to read more.
10/10/2003 c4 ednyadove
I swera that O'neil's hve a way of finding trouble... I really liked this story. i hope that you continue it! I would like to know what other adventures Jonathan has with his new friends!

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