3/26/2004 c10 Yourworstnightmare
Ok, I love your story and all but theres a few things i'd like to clear up.
1. If you are going to give hermine a nickname please spell it correctly it MIONE, not MOINE
2. WHERE IS RON? the word "Ron" is only mentioned 3 times! Come on! HE's a main charachter aswell!
Other than that, I love your storyline! It's great!
Ok, I love your story and all but theres a few things i'd like to clear up.
1. If you are going to give hermine a nickname please spell it correctly it MIONE, not MOINE
2. WHERE IS RON? the word "Ron" is only mentioned 3 times! Come on! HE's a main charachter aswell!
Other than that, I love your storyline! It's great!
3/25/2004 c10 stephen
Well, this chapter was good. But i dont get it. She was a transfer student from America. How can she know all those people? And she even knew the Griffendor table?
PLease continue!
Well, this chapter was good. But i dont get it. She was a transfer student from America. How can she know all those people? And she even knew the Griffendor table?
PLease continue!
3/25/2004 c10 3Gabrielle Martinez
aw! I wanted hermione to kick faye and dracos ass! thats just mean! but anyways, this is good! other than the fact FAYE SHOULD BE DEAD! It's good! *cheery smile*. Write more quick! To the bat mobile! jk!
aw! I wanted hermione to kick faye and dracos ass! thats just mean! but anyways, this is good! other than the fact FAYE SHOULD BE DEAD! It's good! *cheery smile*. Write more quick! To the bat mobile! jk!
3/12/2004 c1 Dosent matter
This is a good story. You know how to keep a reader in suspense. UPDATE SOON
This is a good story. You know how to keep a reader in suspense. UPDATE SOON
3/7/2004 c9 kiddo
wow your story had many twists and turns the rape scene was a little out of left feild kinda random and un needed in my opinion. but oh well i thinkin chapter wise harry and hermione got to gether a little quick but i dont mind.keep on writting
kiddo
wow your story had many twists and turns the rape scene was a little out of left feild kinda random and un needed in my opinion. but oh well i thinkin chapter wise harry and hermione got to gether a little quick but i dont mind.keep on writting
kiddo
3/7/2004 c3 kiddo
wow i really like your story it is a totally differnt aproach. is the poem from a song or did u write it yourself . write me an e-mial when u up date! keep writting
wow i really like your story it is a totally differnt aproach. is the poem from a song or did u write it yourself . write me an e-mial when u up date! keep writting
3/7/2004 c9 theophania
i really dont kno mione could be really angry or she might not care since she has harry now and say they were silly for thinking shed be angry but its all up to you
i really dont kno mione could be really angry or she might not care since she has harry now and say they were silly for thinking shed be angry but its all up to you
3/7/2004 c9 dirtyminded
It's great. I LOVE IT! oh yea, for the next chapter u might want let hermione get into BIG trouble... -.-~ heehee... maybe... a baby...
It's great. I LOVE IT! oh yea, for the next chapter u might want let hermione get into BIG trouble... -.-~ heehee... maybe... a baby...
3/6/2004 c9 15MayCeaseToBe
I think TheGeekishPixie was having in extr geeky day cuz your story is fine...too bad i can't get online often or i would help you with that jam of yours...C U soon!
Wonderfully(yea,right),
KaTiE
I think TheGeekishPixie was having in extr geeky day cuz your story is fine...too bad i can't get online often or i would help you with that jam of yours...C U soon!
Wonderfully(yea,right),
KaTiE
3/6/2004 c9 mikeus
Your story is going just fine. you will not and can not please everyone. I think Hr will be somewhat upset but will forgive faye once she thinks how important their relationship is to her. Forgiving your enemies is one of the strongest medicines for healing the heart. So forgiving Draco for what he did by him having a heart to heart with hr would probably help. Once she realises how much he loves faye. I think she will understand. she is in the same type relationship as Draco and Faye. Follow your instints.
Your story is going just fine. you will not and can not please everyone. I think Hr will be somewhat upset but will forgive faye once she thinks how important their relationship is to her. Forgiving your enemies is one of the strongest medicines for healing the heart. So forgiving Draco for what he did by him having a heart to heart with hr would probably help. Once she realises how much he loves faye. I think she will understand. she is in the same type relationship as Draco and Faye. Follow your instints.
1/18/2004 c8 TheGeekishPixie
I've been having a bit of a hard time reading your story. I can sort of understand being a little AU and resorting Hermione to Slytherin in first year, but then resorting her back to Gryffindor? I think that's more than a bit unrealistic, even for the HP world. Faye is very much a Mary Sue. She's too perfect! She hasn't had a single flaw yet. Faye is beautiful, a Seer (though she's only had one prediction in 8 chapters), gets Draco, who you describe as pretty saught after, can sing, is from America, related to Dumbledore, AND has made buddies with the wonder trio. Speaking of the wonder trio, where is Ron? He only shows up occasionally to roll his eyes. Hermione is a "bad girl" in the first chapter, but she stopped being "bad" after that. Try not to use *asterisks* to indicate action. You're writing a story; use words, not punctuation.
There are amusing points in the story (…. Snape in a bikini, um Dumbledore doing the hula, McGonagall doing a pole dance. Hermione and I having sex on the bed. Shit!), but it's not enough to make up for some below-par characterization and some big plot holes. My favorite parts are the poems - they are beautiful, though you may want to try to add more adjectives and descriptiveness to them.
I've been having a bit of a hard time reading your story. I can sort of understand being a little AU and resorting Hermione to Slytherin in first year, but then resorting her back to Gryffindor? I think that's more than a bit unrealistic, even for the HP world. Faye is very much a Mary Sue. She's too perfect! She hasn't had a single flaw yet. Faye is beautiful, a Seer (though she's only had one prediction in 8 chapters), gets Draco, who you describe as pretty saught after, can sing, is from America, related to Dumbledore, AND has made buddies with the wonder trio. Speaking of the wonder trio, where is Ron? He only shows up occasionally to roll his eyes. Hermione is a "bad girl" in the first chapter, but she stopped being "bad" after that. Try not to use *asterisks* to indicate action. You're writing a story; use words, not punctuation.
There are amusing points in the story (…. Snape in a bikini, um Dumbledore doing the hula, McGonagall doing a pole dance. Hermione and I having sex on the bed. Shit!), but it's not enough to make up for some below-par characterization and some big plot holes. My favorite parts are the poems - they are beautiful, though you may want to try to add more adjectives and descriptiveness to them.
1/16/2004 c8 1Sapphire Butterfly
ohh wats hermy gonna say? *sigh* oh well i shall find out as soon as u update. which i want to be very soon coz its too good to wait for.
ohh wats hermy gonna say? *sigh* oh well i shall find out as soon as u update. which i want to be very soon coz its too good to wait for.