for Revenge is Sweet- Part 1 of 25/10/2016 c1 
2Elise Deschat
good story line and true to the characters, however had some problems with "chronology"
1st If Jesse gave instructions to Steve in front of Captain Newman, why did Captain Newman give Steve an assignment the very next day...
2nd Why was Jesse was going to the room to give Steve a message from the Captain, if the Captain was there...when did the Captain arrive?
3rd when did Mark arrive? It indicates that the Captain is in the room, and Jesse and Amanda have gone to the room, but no Mark...we make the supposition because of history, but it is not mentioned...
Kate
2Elise Deschatgood story line and true to the characters, however had some problems with "chronology"
1st If Jesse gave instructions to Steve in front of Captain Newman, why did Captain Newman give Steve an assignment the very next day...
2nd Why was Jesse was going to the room to give Steve a message from the Captain, if the Captain was there...when did the Captain arrive?
3rd when did Mark arrive? It indicates that the Captain is in the room, and Jesse and Amanda have gone to the room, but no Mark...we make the supposition because of history, but it is not mentioned...
Kate
8/21/2006 c1 64epalladino
Nice beginning. Can't wait to read Part 2. I like your writing style, but white space between paragraphs and dialogue would make it easier on the eyes. Thanks, Beth Palladino
64epalladinoNice beginning. Can't wait to read Part 2. I like your writing style, but white space between paragraphs and dialogue would make it easier on the eyes. Thanks, Beth Palladino
9/20/2001 c1 Carfree
Good so far, I'm going on to part two now! ^_^
Good so far, I'm going on to part two now! ^_^
3/30/2001 c1 Vengeance
Very good. You are a very good writer. Bien! Bien!
Very good. You are a very good writer. Bien! Bien!
3/13/2001 c1 Caree
I loved it and am going on to the second part right now! Great story. I was as worried for Steve as when he was shot in the show. BTW, I liked the mention of that in the fanfic.^_^
I loved it and am going on to the second part right now! Great story. I was as worried for Steve as when he was shot in the show. BTW, I liked the mention of that in the fanfic.^_^
2/18/2001 c1 Bianca
great story, one of my favorite, keep up the good work
great story, one of my favorite, keep up the good work
1/22/2001 c1 Amanda Bently
I think that is a very well written part one, you kept all the charecters in the respective personalities, i felt like i was reading an episode script, i'm looking forward to part two.
I think that is a very well written part one, you kept all the charecters in the respective personalities, i felt like i was reading an episode script, i'm looking forward to part two.
1/9/2001 c1 deb
Good story. Can't wait to read the next part. You portray a lot of feeling that you know the four friends have, but that they don't show a lot on the show.
Good story. Can't wait to read the next part. You portray a lot of feeling that you know the four friends have, but that they don't show a lot on the show.