for Revenge is Sweet- Part 2 of 25/10/2016 c1 
2Elise Deschat
good story-line...but still have a problem with the plot resolution/reveal, and a few shifts in grammatical structure (shift of personal pronouns...she to he in the 2nd sentence)...end is cute though
Medically speaking though, recovering from an punctured lung, diagnosed 24-hours post injury, he would not have been able to move out-of-the bed, much less stand...he would have been in the ICU with a chest tube in. The emesis would not have been food, but blood from the pneumothorax, and how did that occur? If he had taken 12 shots in the vest, around the same general area, the pneumothorax would have occurred then, but Steve Sloan would have definitely felt it when it occurred, as the lung would have lost it ability to inflate, affecting his breathing, he not only would have been dizzy, but cyanotic.
2Elise Deschatgood story-line...but still have a problem with the plot resolution/reveal, and a few shifts in grammatical structure (shift of personal pronouns...she to he in the 2nd sentence)...end is cute though
Medically speaking though, recovering from an punctured lung, diagnosed 24-hours post injury, he would not have been able to move out-of-the bed, much less stand...he would have been in the ICU with a chest tube in. The emesis would not have been food, but blood from the pneumothorax, and how did that occur? If he had taken 12 shots in the vest, around the same general area, the pneumothorax would have occurred then, but Steve Sloan would have definitely felt it when it occurred, as the lung would have lost it ability to inflate, affecting his breathing, he not only would have been dizzy, but cyanotic.
7/5/2001 c1 Rachel
Great story!I loved it!
Great story!I loved it!
4/7/2001 c1 Jan Babb
All l can say is thank God for Kevlar vests.Just as well he was wearing one.I've seen plenty of tv shows where these vests do a great job.I liked this storyline,good idea and a good working for a revenge.Jani
All l can say is thank God for Kevlar vests.Just as well he was wearing one.I've seen plenty of tv shows where these vests do a great job.I liked this storyline,good idea and a good working for a revenge.Jani
1/22/2001 c1 Amanda Bently
Again, part two, wonderfully written!
Again, part two, wonderfully written!
1/1/2001 c1 Betty
I enjoyed reading this story. I hope to read more fan fiction stories from this author. Especially more stories involving Steve Sloan.
I enjoyed reading this story. I hope to read more fan fiction stories from this author. Especially more stories involving Steve Sloan.
12/31/2000 c1 Ofelia
Great story! I really loved it! Keep up the good work!
Great story! I really loved it! Keep up the good work!