for Astrid8/8/2014 c41 Fusion Palace
This is the best Pirates of the Caribbean story I have ever encountered!
There are a few grammatical errors on some chapters, but I instantly overlooked them - I haven't read a story where I was more enraptured in the plot more than the spelling/grammar.
I like how you built up the story. I would have instantly dropped this little gem like a hot potato - had you instantly described Astrid as a beautiful maiden, who was good with a sword, had a flock of suitors and wanted to voyage across the sea. Would have rolled my eyes, and instantly pressed the back button.
But no, you let the readers watch Astrid grow into a teenager, bordering womanhood. Although, I believe she still has much to learn throughout the next installment. She's a very good character, not a Mary-Sue at all. I actually CRIED for your characters, instead of wishing to strangle and murder them.
Adam is so interesting and lifelike. I especially enjoyed your portrayal of Stephen - he's human. And I was so bipolar when I read this. The first few chapters I adored Roland, then I wanted to beat him up, then I laughed and at other times I rolled my eyes and more.
I actually laughed out loud picturing certain scenes. I felt like ripping Alexandra's hair out, when she called Astrid a whore at the table during her fifteenth birthday party - I snorted, and thought her to be a bit of a hypocrite on that frontier. Wasn't SHE the one who *cough* did the deed with Griffith, Roland and God knows how many other guys? Ugh, I hate the bloody witch. ;)
I cannot wait for her reunion with Jack. I was so happy when you had Adam and Astrid part on good terms - I feared that I'd have to wait until Astrid somehow boarded the Black Pearl, and Adam was upon the ship he worked on hunting pirates. You are such a talented writer!
I could literally go on and on. :D
This is the best Pirates of the Caribbean story I have ever encountered!
There are a few grammatical errors on some chapters, but I instantly overlooked them - I haven't read a story where I was more enraptured in the plot more than the spelling/grammar.
I like how you built up the story. I would have instantly dropped this little gem like a hot potato - had you instantly described Astrid as a beautiful maiden, who was good with a sword, had a flock of suitors and wanted to voyage across the sea. Would have rolled my eyes, and instantly pressed the back button.
But no, you let the readers watch Astrid grow into a teenager, bordering womanhood. Although, I believe she still has much to learn throughout the next installment. She's a very good character, not a Mary-Sue at all. I actually CRIED for your characters, instead of wishing to strangle and murder them.
Adam is so interesting and lifelike. I especially enjoyed your portrayal of Stephen - he's human. And I was so bipolar when I read this. The first few chapters I adored Roland, then I wanted to beat him up, then I laughed and at other times I rolled my eyes and more.
I actually laughed out loud picturing certain scenes. I felt like ripping Alexandra's hair out, when she called Astrid a whore at the table during her fifteenth birthday party - I snorted, and thought her to be a bit of a hypocrite on that frontier. Wasn't SHE the one who *cough* did the deed with Griffith, Roland and God knows how many other guys? Ugh, I hate the bloody witch. ;)
I cannot wait for her reunion with Jack. I was so happy when you had Adam and Astrid part on good terms - I feared that I'd have to wait until Astrid somehow boarded the Black Pearl, and Adam was upon the ship he worked on hunting pirates. You are such a talented writer!
I could literally go on and on. :D
5/30/2011 c23 sierra
omg do i have to read the entire thing b4 jack comes in to the picture? it' sooooo stinkin loooong.
omg do i have to read the entire thing b4 jack comes in to the picture? it' sooooo stinkin loooong.
8/11/2009 c32 
4Ribhinn Maraiche
Hmm... No, she isn't a Mary Sue, but she may just be a little too much like Jacky. I enjoy your story very much, but I have noticed that many of your characters correspond with those in L. A. Meyer's books. Stephen is Randall, Alexandra is Clarissa, Griffith is Midshipman Bliffil, Adam is Jaimy... You may want to try steering away from those profiles as they all grow up. Now, on with the story! ;)
4Ribhinn MaraicheHmm... No, she isn't a Mary Sue, but she may just be a little too much like Jacky. I enjoy your story very much, but I have noticed that many of your characters correspond with those in L. A. Meyer's books. Stephen is Randall, Alexandra is Clarissa, Griffith is Midshipman Bliffil, Adam is Jaimy... You may want to try steering away from those profiles as they all grow up. Now, on with the story! ;)
11/8/2008 c28 porkchops
"but one’s face and body play a large part"
i think my selfesteem just went down ten notch's XD
"but one’s face and body play a large part"
i think my selfesteem just went down ten notch's XD
3/20/2008 c34 36red champagne
aw... that made me tear up. but adam is a bit too cocky for his own good...
36red champagneaw... that made me tear up. but adam is a bit too cocky for his own good...
3/20/2008 c32 red champagne
my opinion is that astrid isn't a mary-sue. mary-sues are ocs that are supposedly perfect (as in beautiful, smart, funny, special powers, yada yada) characters. astrid is human, as in she has flaws and makes mistakes and acts like a person, not like a robot. so yes, astrid is an oc, but no, she's not a mary-sue. i usually never read stories that have ocs cuz they tend to turn out to be mary-sues but this story is positively addicting. the characters are believable and the setting is realistic, though i am kinda sad that jack won't be in this story...
my opinion is that astrid isn't a mary-sue. mary-sues are ocs that are supposedly perfect (as in beautiful, smart, funny, special powers, yada yada) characters. astrid is human, as in she has flaws and makes mistakes and acts like a person, not like a robot. so yes, astrid is an oc, but no, she's not a mary-sue. i usually never read stories that have ocs cuz they tend to turn out to be mary-sues but this story is positively addicting. the characters are believable and the setting is realistic, though i am kinda sad that jack won't be in this story...
10/28/2007 c41 1Miwbastet
I absolutely adore your story, and I can't -wait- to read the sequel. But I noticed that you haven't updated in a few months, and I was wondering if you're still going to continue on with it? I would hate if it just kinda stopped in the middle and I couldn't know what happened! :'(
I love your writing style, it really brought me into the story and led me on Astrid's adventures. Great, great job.
1MiwbastetI absolutely adore your story, and I can't -wait- to read the sequel. But I noticed that you haven't updated in a few months, and I was wondering if you're still going to continue on with it? I would hate if it just kinda stopped in the middle and I couldn't know what happened! :'(
I love your writing style, it really brought me into the story and led me on Astrid's adventures. Great, great job.
8/23/2007 c1 kelbel717
ok im sorry i havn't sent a review in a long
time, but i just wanted to say thank you for starting the whole jack and his daughter fics because ever since before the 2nd movie came out, you got me interested in potc
ok im sorry i havn't sent a review in a long
time, but i just wanted to say thank you for starting the whole jack and his daughter fics because ever since before the 2nd movie came out, you got me interested in potc
6/7/2007 c1 1brightlily
i am in love with this story by far.
though i do with she would love stephen.
then i would be happy.
off to read the rest
1brightlilyi am in love with this story by far.
though i do with she would love stephen.
then i would be happy.
off to read the rest
5/15/2007 c41 21Erisah Mae
I kept waiting for this to get better. Unfortunately, it never seemed to make it... I kept waiting for Jack to show up, and he never did. pity. Oh well. Not a bad effort, but I can't say tht I was particularly enthralled.
Erisah
21Erisah MaeI kept waiting for this to get better. Unfortunately, it never seemed to make it... I kept waiting for Jack to show up, and he never did. pity. Oh well. Not a bad effort, but I can't say tht I was particularly enthralled.
Erisah