for You call my name10/10/2004 c2 fdsfghh
Ok...Still confused up in here...Bah. Whatever.
Normally, I'd review in terms of 5 major characteristics of the story: storyline, characterization, details, writing style (AKA: choice of words, expressions, etc.), and fluff. But since this is an "old" story, by which I mean no longer being updated, I'm just going to make my reviews more in tune with an opinion than an actual review.
So...Let's begin. Brian scares me, Tala is a good actor, Tyson is hilarious! Kai seems to be showing a certain affection for Tyson at this point. *Wiggles Eybrows*
Ok...Still confused up in here...Bah. Whatever.
Normally, I'd review in terms of 5 major characteristics of the story: storyline, characterization, details, writing style (AKA: choice of words, expressions, etc.), and fluff. But since this is an "old" story, by which I mean no longer being updated, I'm just going to make my reviews more in tune with an opinion than an actual review.
So...Let's begin. Brian scares me, Tala is a good actor, Tyson is hilarious! Kai seems to be showing a certain affection for Tyson at this point. *Wiggles Eybrows*
10/10/2004 c1 fdsfghh
In all honesty, I don't really get the storyline. Assumbably, this segment is somewhere from Beyblade (Season 1). I haven't really seen much of it so I don't get the storyline here. From what I can guess, Tyson beat Tala in the Beyblade World Championships, Rei was in the hospital and forced his way out of there to watch, and Tala and Brian's team was founded by Biovolt (or something like that). Am I right? Am I wrong?
The storyline, even though I don't completely comprehend it, seems to be taking off to a good start. Characterization is excellent. You could use a bit more detail in here though, but since this is the opening chapter, it might not be completely necessary. Fluff, N/A (for this chapter). Your writing style is kinda confusing, but I'll work my way around that. :)
Summary
[Positive] Storyline, characteriztion
[Negative] Details, writing style
In all honesty, I don't really get the storyline. Assumbably, this segment is somewhere from Beyblade (Season 1). I haven't really seen much of it so I don't get the storyline here. From what I can guess, Tyson beat Tala in the Beyblade World Championships, Rei was in the hospital and forced his way out of there to watch, and Tala and Brian's team was founded by Biovolt (or something like that). Am I right? Am I wrong?
The storyline, even though I don't completely comprehend it, seems to be taking off to a good start. Characterization is excellent. You could use a bit more detail in here though, but since this is the opening chapter, it might not be completely necessary. Fluff, N/A (for this chapter). Your writing style is kinda confusing, but I'll work my way around that. :)
Summary
[Positive] Storyline, characteriztion
[Negative] Details, writing style
2/7/2004 c21 
11Parasitic Eve
HOOBBY-SAMA! I LOVE YOU! hehehehe THat was great! YOu the best! Oh and good luck on you exame! I can't wait to read Dragoons Flight! Well i must go but *wipes brow* That was just plain wonderful!
-Nancy C.
11Parasitic EveHOOBBY-SAMA! I LOVE YOU! hehehehe THat was great! YOu the best! Oh and good luck on you exame! I can't wait to read Dragoons Flight! Well i must go but *wipes brow* That was just plain wonderful!
-Nancy C.
2/7/2004 c21 27Dragonix
ME: Aww... so cute!
AKIRA: And you don't have to grovel, okay?
KAI: Yes! *Does a victory dance*
ME: Yes, he's suddenly forgiven you now that Ty-kun's alive
AKIRA: He's dancing because he gets Tyson!
KAI: MY Tyson!
ME: Yes, yes...your Tyson, whatever...
AKIRA: How could we ahte the end? How?
ME: We loved the end!
KAI: I might of killed you if Tyson was dead though...
ME: ¬¬; Doesn't change much does he?
AKIRA: Get up 'Dragoon's Flight' up soon please
ME: Sorry if you can't read this well... my Dad broke the space key having a fit...
AKIRA: Ja ne!
27DragonixME: Aww... so cute!
AKIRA: And you don't have to grovel, okay?
KAI: Yes! *Does a victory dance*
ME: Yes, he's suddenly forgiven you now that Ty-kun's alive
AKIRA: He's dancing because he gets Tyson!
KAI: MY Tyson!
ME: Yes, yes...your Tyson, whatever...
AKIRA: How could we ahte the end? How?
ME: We loved the end!
KAI: I might of killed you if Tyson was dead though...
ME: ¬¬; Doesn't change much does he?
AKIRA: Get up 'Dragoon's Flight' up soon please
ME: Sorry if you can't read this well... my Dad broke the space key having a fit...
AKIRA: Ja ne!
2/6/2004 c21 dragona15
AW! T_T*jumps with joy
I SO LUV THIS! THE END ITS AWSOME ! =^^= CUTEY SWEET BEAUTIFUL STORY ! =^^= WA I LUV IT I LUV IT I LUV IT I LUV IT...OUCH! WHO TROWN ME THAT ROCK!*glares at everyone suspicious. XD
AW! T_T*jumps with joy
I SO LUV THIS! THE END ITS AWSOME ! =^^= CUTEY SWEET BEAUTIFUL STORY ! =^^= WA I LUV IT I LUV IT I LUV IT I LUV IT...OUCH! WHO TROWN ME THAT ROCK!*glares at everyone suspicious. XD
2/6/2004 c21 Rugmonkey101
Hob, I promise never to curse, hit, rant, shout, strangle, chase, threaten, or bother you in any other way ever again...on condition that you get a move on with dragoons flight.
You still havn`t told uz who that man is, you just left it hanging but whats new?
but i`m glad that tyson is ok. he is ok isn`t he?
good ending to a awsome fic.
now get writing kiddo, or you know what`ll happen.
you gotta hav faith in yourself,they tell you your good,so stop saying you ain`t ok!
loved it babe
Ruggles
Hob, I promise never to curse, hit, rant, shout, strangle, chase, threaten, or bother you in any other way ever again...on condition that you get a move on with dragoons flight.
You still havn`t told uz who that man is, you just left it hanging but whats new?
but i`m glad that tyson is ok. he is ok isn`t he?
good ending to a awsome fic.
now get writing kiddo, or you know what`ll happen.
you gotta hav faith in yourself,they tell you your good,so stop saying you ain`t ok!
loved it babe
Ruggles
2/6/2004 c21 Cat in the web
Tyson is alive, that`s very good! But there are questions that are not answered! I hope you`ll write a sequel soon! I want to know who the hooded man is!
Tyson is alive, that`s very good! But there are questions that are not answered! I hope you`ll write a sequel soon! I want to know who the hooded man is!
2/6/2004 c21 Kat
Tysons alive ^^ and i cant wait for 'dragons flight'. luved dis story ^^
Tysons alive ^^ and i cant wait for 'dragons flight'. luved dis story ^^
2/5/2004 c21 70Timmesque
ME: YAY! Ty-chan's alive!
CS: Thank God.
CT: Anyway, we'll be keeping in touch and also waiting for 'Dragoon's Flight' What is it about anyway?
70TimmesqueME: YAY! Ty-chan's alive!
CS: Thank God.
CT: Anyway, we'll be keeping in touch and also waiting for 'Dragoon's Flight' What is it about anyway?
2/5/2004 c21 19Rumi-Chan
WA! Hob-sama! *squeals* That was so beautiful! I can't hate you! WA! I can't wait to see "Dragoon's Flight"! I'm confident that it'll be as successful as "You call my name"! ^^
~*Rumi-Chan*~
19Rumi-ChanWA! Hob-sama! *squeals* That was so beautiful! I can't hate you! WA! I can't wait to see "Dragoon's Flight"! I'm confident that it'll be as successful as "You call my name"! ^^
~*Rumi-Chan*~
2/5/2004 c21 Devlinn ReikoBryanRei Luver
Aw! It's over! Anyway...I loved the ending! It was the perfect touch!
Great job!
Aw! It's over! Anyway...I loved the ending! It was the perfect touch!
Great job!
2/5/2004 c20 17Nanashio
yay! so very up to scratch! *blinks* Ty-chan? *sniffles... then bursts into tears* Ty-chan! *curls into a ball on the floor* poor Ty-chan! *sighs and sits up* heh, just shows how well it was written, a real tear-jerker... but it was great Hob-sama... *applauds* ^^()
17Nanashioyay! so very up to scratch! *blinks* Ty-chan? *sniffles... then bursts into tears* Ty-chan! *curls into a ball on the floor* poor Ty-chan! *sighs and sits up* heh, just shows how well it was written, a real tear-jerker... but it was great Hob-sama... *applauds* ^^()
2/5/2004 c20 13kyeriakhalid and Shizune
sorry if i miss a few chapters but it was really good i'll be waiting for the Dragoons Flight okay!
13kyeriakhalid and Shizunesorry if i miss a few chapters but it was really good i'll be waiting for the Dragoons Flight okay!
2/4/2004 c20 19Rumi-Chan
WA! So sorry that I didn't get to review this sooner! I've been so busy with school, and I have dance competitions coming up! My first comp. in on the 15th! Wish me luck! ^^;;
Kami...I'm so nervous, I feel as if I'm gonna puke right now!
Kai: Well...don't puke over the keyboard...it's not civil...
Rumi: Like YOU'RE ever civil Kai...
Kai: Damn right!
Rumi: *rolls eyes*
Kai: *sticks out tongue*
Rumi: Jackass...anywhoo...update onegai! ^^ I can't wait for the next chappie!
~*Rumi-Chan*~
19Rumi-ChanWA! So sorry that I didn't get to review this sooner! I've been so busy with school, and I have dance competitions coming up! My first comp. in on the 15th! Wish me luck! ^^;;
Kami...I'm so nervous, I feel as if I'm gonna puke right now!
Kai: Well...don't puke over the keyboard...it's not civil...
Rumi: Like YOU'RE ever civil Kai...
Kai: Damn right!
Rumi: *rolls eyes*
Kai: *sticks out tongue*
Rumi: Jackass...anywhoo...update onegai! ^^ I can't wait for the next chappie!
~*Rumi-Chan*~