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2/21/2004 c2 70ariescelestial
Is this story done? Or is it not? @.@
If it's not I'd really like to see more...
12/28/2003 c2 36MikoNoNyte
Live fast die young: that's Yuri to a "t". He lived a life time in the week he met Alice and "died" at Shanghai.
"Maybe I could be the one who rescues someone. ... not like a little girl he has to protect. But isn't that all I am, isn't that all I'll ever be?" We often think of Alice as the victim, and she is; that's her role here. But, and I know you have issues with her, she is showing her desire for greater potential, potential I personally always knew she had. She cannot be a Key and not have inner strength. According to her belief structure, God does not help the weak; he helps those who help themselves. Alice did a fine job of that later on: here you are capturing the foreshadowing and the inner angst that desperately needed to be shown in the game and was not.
"So Yuri just turned up ... because a voice told him to? ... That's insane." We all agree; we've all joked about it. It is interesting, but I think this is the first time anyone has had a CHARACTER say that. It reminds me just how odd / off Yuri was when I first saw him in the game; the little laugh he gave when he got knocked back 3 cars; the look of utter 'I don't give a damn, I'm nuts anyway' that seemed to scream from his eyes when he punched out Albert.
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pardon me while I crank my jaw back. ohmysweetgoddess.
That was a very effective kick to the sternum. I'm breathless and I can't find my heart; it slid down my legs, over my feet and I think it's running for China ...
I do hope there is a chapter 3.
Truly, I do hope.
Very good, Grey. Tight use of language and imagery. I don't know if it's the song helping you focus or it's just your time to start putting down the goods, but you've got it girl. Very, very good.
Kim
PS: whatever did I say to make you afraid? :)
12/4/2003 c1 MikoNoNyte
I'll make this nice and simple, Grey:
You damned well better post up chapter 2 or I'm catching a flight to your country and using Alice's bible!
Killer, excellent story. A deeply psychotic look at a deeply disturbed young man. You are an adult in kid's form, Grey. You see much more deeply than one would expect and you see in directions that none of the other SH writers have explored as yet.
More, please. Much, much more.
Kim

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