for In the Lead2/6/2004 c1 
50Silver Elf Child
How do you know when your heart is wrong? You should explore this in further detail. Thanks for the heads up too. Now as for this piece that you laid before me... I think there is a loophole in which you missed (I know I already talked to you about this, but I don't know if anyone else noticed it). In the first episode of MD, Wing does not believe in DuCaine. Dive does, but Wing seems to dismiss his existence. It's kinda like a religious figure. To them Drake DuCaine is a messiah, Like Jesus is to us (Have you noticed how the worship the sport of hockey?). Even though we know Jesus was a real person many choose to dismiss his relevance. That is my religious lesson for today.
This was written fairly well, but there were a few mistakes. Don't feel bad to withold your masterpieces a few extra days in order to get the perfect read. I nearly passed out when reading the first book in the Transformers new series. There were so many blaring errors, the author should have been ashamed! No author should let things like that slip. I'm an ammature at this and even I found the mistakes on my first read through the book. Other then that, good work.
Namarie
Elfy
50Silver Elf ChildHow do you know when your heart is wrong? You should explore this in further detail. Thanks for the heads up too. Now as for this piece that you laid before me... I think there is a loophole in which you missed (I know I already talked to you about this, but I don't know if anyone else noticed it). In the first episode of MD, Wing does not believe in DuCaine. Dive does, but Wing seems to dismiss his existence. It's kinda like a religious figure. To them Drake DuCaine is a messiah, Like Jesus is to us (Have you noticed how the worship the sport of hockey?). Even though we know Jesus was a real person many choose to dismiss his relevance. That is my religious lesson for today.
This was written fairly well, but there were a few mistakes. Don't feel bad to withold your masterpieces a few extra days in order to get the perfect read. I nearly passed out when reading the first book in the Transformers new series. There were so many blaring errors, the author should have been ashamed! No author should let things like that slip. I'm an ammature at this and even I found the mistakes on my first read through the book. Other then that, good work.
Namarie
Elfy
1/25/2004 c1 2Dropzone
Hey, Becks, liked your short scene. ^-^ I like how Grin is one of the main characters in your story. The ol' boy is quite under used, in my opinion, so it's nice to see you give him some seat time.
I like how you have WW questioning his role and abilities as leader... adds more dimension to him. ^-^ Certainly that would have to be on the mind of any leader, so it is good that you hit on it.
I particularly like the flashback you use that opens and closes the story, too. Definitely has a faith/religious undertone to it... or that is how my mind sees it. ^-^ All in all, its good w/ no glaring problems with it. Congrats!
2DropzoneHey, Becks, liked your short scene. ^-^ I like how Grin is one of the main characters in your story. The ol' boy is quite under used, in my opinion, so it's nice to see you give him some seat time.
I like how you have WW questioning his role and abilities as leader... adds more dimension to him. ^-^ Certainly that would have to be on the mind of any leader, so it is good that you hit on it.
I particularly like the flashback you use that opens and closes the story, too. Definitely has a faith/religious undertone to it... or that is how my mind sees it. ^-^ All in all, its good w/ no glaring problems with it. Congrats!
1/25/2004 c1 31BlueMoonDuchess
Wow, very very good! I'm glad someone did a follow up on that episode, very well done. I loved the akward connection between Grin and Wing. Great work!
31BlueMoonDuchessWow, very very good! I'm glad someone did a follow up on that episode, very well done. I loved the akward connection between Grin and Wing. Great work!