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for The X5 Reunion

6/9/2009 c1 4xXxKittySmithMcDowellXxX
Okay I am going to be as nice and constructive as possible.

First of I get the reason for different names but Krit's, Syl's and Zack's are bugging me Kristopher, Sylvia and Zachary.

The X5's have high I.Qs and there for would figure out who they were instantly.

Plus Max and Ben's didn't change so they would have been worked out instantly.

The next thing is when is this set? I am guessing they are at school by what I am reading but what grade are they in how old are they?

Third the minute Zack caught a glimpse of suspicious activity he would have formulated a plan to get the other X5s of the bus.

When Lydecker got onto the bus the X5's would be gone they wouldn't sit around waiting for him to come check for their barcodes.

Fourth who is Mikayla? Zack would never trust somebody not in his unit there for he would never partner up with her in case she was undercover for Lydecker.

I am sorry if what I say seems harsh but I think it is best to say the truth rather than just say great story all the time because the writer doesn't get no real feedback.

I do have this to say though you have some great ideas and with a little research you could turn it from a good story to a great story.
7/8/2007 c2 4X5 - 452 and 494
Awesome! Please please please update really soon!
7/4/2004 c2 3Pickle Juice
Chronic Crows Feet!

hey i remember that play!

cool cool cool! sept where am i in chapter #2? did i die already?
6/11/2004 c2 Bubblegum
Interesting start. I´m curious where this is going. Please keep it up!
6/10/2004 c2 8ZombieGurl98
Wow, cool chappie, dunno about you, but I'd rather be on the good side, instead of the bad with Deck and them... anyways update soon!
3/31/2004 c1 Lil' Moony
Yay! *claps* I got my computer back, I got my computer back! *dances around* Oh yeah, good story! :P As you can see, I'm too lazy to log in, but I'm going to go read the stories! :)
3/17/2004 c1 3Pickle Juice
I've been trying to figure out who's who. I'm brittany. duh. Does ben=ryan and matt=zane, is erik=zach? is Emily max or is that you? is mikaela supposed to be Jessica? Is Sylvia Amy and Melissa Lucy? is Kristopher Joey or Emily or God knows what? Let me know on this one.
3/13/2004 c1 10Jamie's Spawn
I liked this! There are so few fics about them when they're still kids. I'm looking forward to the next chapter, update soon!
3/13/2004 c1 8ZombieGurl98
I like it... I think u should keep going... not many are written where they see each other again and crap... plz update and I'll keep revewing...byebyes
3/12/2004 c1 62Lexie Jayne
Okay, please don't take this the wrong way; I'll try and be constructive.
You have some really good ideas that I'm really interested in being fleshed out a lot. But I'm very confused - what's up with Kristopher and Sylvia and Brittany? I''m confused why you've given all the X5s weird names - unless this is going to be a Major AU story.
The formatting on this story is a bit block-y; a space between the paragraphs would be nice but that could just be FF.Net being evil, as usual.
The plot is a little confusing - what year? Why are they together? Ben's alive? Where's Tinga? Is Mikayla the pseudonym for Eva/Brin/Tinga?
If Mikayla is going to be a reasonably major player in this story, please try and not make her into a Mary Sue; her name and the spelling of it means you could be treading dangerous grounds. Just please don't make her a singer ;)
I'm really interested to see where you take this, and I think you'd probably make this a brilliant fic if you 'employed' a beta-reader to help you smooth the whole fic over. Flesh it out, descriptive passages, explanations. And please, make it S/K :D
Good start, update soon :)

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