for D20 Modern: Shadow Tides Rising5/2/2015 c3 Blaine H
Are you going to continue the story? It's not bad!
Are you going to continue the story? It's not bad!
9/19/2005 c3 GuessWho
What will happen when these guys are the only magic-user humans on Earth? Who was the man in the traveling shop? Was he human?
I've got a lot of questions. I'm a believer in the Socratic Method. (What, you've never heard of Socrates?)
What will happen when these guys are the only magic-user humans on Earth? Who was the man in the traveling shop? Was he human?
I've got a lot of questions. I'm a believer in the Socratic Method. (What, you've never heard of Socrates?)
4/15/2004 c3 
8Street faerie
Tyler Adams as a character seems really cool at first. He's snarky, but he's also a little snobby (do you have to explain to the audience that a mammoth tome is a "really big book"?. You leave out too much though, there's no sense of Tyler as a real person but just a character for a game. Everything that makes him really cool is done off page. Wonder, disbelief. Shouldn't he at least be considering that an elaborate hoax is being pulled? Also, the first two spells he mentions are Magic Missle and Mage Armor? In a modern setting? And then he goes about his daily routine? I can understand that because Tyler's interested in Dnd those would be things he chose, more for kicks than actual usage, but come on. Then for him to do nothing with it? Why shouldn't he try to Magic Missle the neighbor's cat (or a rat on the subway), after all, he would never suspect to use it in real life.
Good job with the goblins, I liked the use of dialect.
But does your character believe what is going on with him? And why? Why goblins? Why does June not think that he's fleecing her? You have really good ideas, you're just rushing through your narrative, but I look forward to your next chapter - if you have one that is.
8Street faerieTyler Adams as a character seems really cool at first. He's snarky, but he's also a little snobby (do you have to explain to the audience that a mammoth tome is a "really big book"?. You leave out too much though, there's no sense of Tyler as a real person but just a character for a game. Everything that makes him really cool is done off page. Wonder, disbelief. Shouldn't he at least be considering that an elaborate hoax is being pulled? Also, the first two spells he mentions are Magic Missle and Mage Armor? In a modern setting? And then he goes about his daily routine? I can understand that because Tyler's interested in Dnd those would be things he chose, more for kicks than actual usage, but come on. Then for him to do nothing with it? Why shouldn't he try to Magic Missle the neighbor's cat (or a rat on the subway), after all, he would never suspect to use it in real life.
Good job with the goblins, I liked the use of dialect.
But does your character believe what is going on with him? And why? Why goblins? Why does June not think that he's fleecing her? You have really good ideas, you're just rushing through your narrative, but I look forward to your next chapter - if you have one that is.