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1/28/2012 c21 6Anvelite
Please continue!
5/24/2010 c9 2EvilPurpleCookiePenkeyMonguin
Okay i just read you're chapter and i know that everyone is entitled to their opinions but Avril does not suck. Just thought that I should point that out. But I like your story. Avril comment aside
5/29/2006 c21 3Zeher
Mary-Sues and stereotypes make babies cry.

Just thought I'd share that.
5/5/2006 c21 mcgurrin
i like it but where are the updates
10/17/2005 c21 Vicky
Haha, i love Nicole bashing! Aww, Dawn and Shock's so perfect... this story is one of my fav X-men stories. Keep up good work! XOXOX
10/12/2005 c21 3Shinigami Ace
its not crap its good! hehe go shock and his courageous idiocy.

Write more! luv your STALKER... hah i stalk you.
6/24/2005 c18 Lori
I wasn't flaming you; flames are those immature annoying reviews that go along the lines of: "OMG dis story SUX!1 dawn is such a MARY SUE gezz u leik need to spel!1! U SUK!" I prefer to think of my review as a critique, and a valid one at that. Critiques TRY to give helpful advice, or at least don't insult the author. You seem ok, so I was just trying to help you see some flaws in your story.

It's fine that you've introduced original characters into the canon, it's something everyone does, and it seems like your story has a big following. I was just expressing my own reasons as to why I didn't particularly like the plot, or how your story could be improved. Most authors appreciate this, which is why I did it. I wasn't trying to annoy you or stop you from writing. I have just as much a right to say what I think about stories as authors have to post them. If you can't take negative reviews, then don't post your story online for the world to see.

By my Degrassi Junior High remark I was alluding to the fact that the 'issues' and conflicts portrayed so far are superficial ones, which left me disatissfied after I read it. I consider 'issues' to be serious notions that affect society and life, like substance abuse/mental disorders/poverty/being a mutant that can shoot laser beams out of their eyes, etc. Not TOO serious that they take all the life out of your story, but more serious than popularity contests/shopping, which is just cheap teen drama, hence 'Degrassi Junior High'. It's fine if you like writing about this kind of stuff, and some reviewers like it. You are right that it sells although you're not actually selling anything :} (and Neighbours is more of a surburban drama than a teen movie so it doesn't have a lot in common with your story anyway) but that doesn't mean I can't critique it.

I also suggested that since you were writing about a whole lot of original - 'random' - characters, you might be better off making this an original story. It's fine if you don't want to, but I think you should at least try to include more of the X-Men characters, even if you 'don't really like them much'. You are using their fandom, after all.

Keep writing, hopefully practising on this and other stories will help you improve and grow as a writer. While I'm at it, I'm also giving you a heads-up on your punctuation and grammar. Everytime someone new speaks, start a new paragraph, and spoken sentences should still end with full stops/commas. “I suppose you should” should be “I suppose you should.”

And I wouldn't report you to abuse, I'd only do that if a story/author was offensive, which you weren't. You seemed very mature in your response, if unwilling to accept my POV. I was just trying to warn you the randomly delete stories that have interactive content.
6/8/2005 c20 Shinigami Ace
Nice! Next i rekon it should include dawn feeling sorry for herself and bad about not believing shock!
6/6/2005 c20 Guest
great chapter please update soon =)
6/5/2005 c20 5Haveniryxia
It seems that it has taken you forever to write another chapter...but it was worth the wait. Update soon
5/3/2005 c19 Guest
awsome please update soon =)
4/29/2005 c19 3glory boots
cool, whens the next chapter up?
3/20/2005 c18 Eclipse01
Do you think you could stop making Dawn cry in alost every chapter? It makes the character seem weak. You describe that part so well it overwelms the chapter. Logen is a little out of character and profeser X is extremely out of caracter.I think you need to find a balance between the characters you came up with and the original X-men characters and have the two interact naturally.If you don't know that much about X-Men,then why don't you ask your readers for help?Not all your readers live in Australia and not all your readers watch soup operas.One more thing do you think you could make the plot of the story clear.Your a good writer you just need more work on your action seanes.
3/15/2005 c18 glory boots
this is good are you going to keep wirting?
3/6/2005 c8 anonymous
this was great! shock is so freaking cool! awesum job! :)
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