for All I Know2/21/2005 c10 
1Ced14
I sprayed my ice cream out of my mouth when I heard Harry say “It’s—crackle—you—crackle—I’m in love with.” OMG! The ice cream went everywhere!
1Ced14I sprayed my ice cream out of my mouth when I heard Harry say “It’s—crackle—you—crackle—I’m in love with.” OMG! The ice cream went everywhere!
2/20/2005 c16 angelbmo
love your story! sequel sequel! ur a talented writer dont stop writing!
love your story! sequel sequel! ur a talented writer dont stop writing!
2/19/2005 c16 galiemme
I'd say begin just before the wedding ;) you could have some fun with a stressed hermione, nervous ron, hyped up ms. weasley and maybe harry asking ginny The Q? :D heh, just saying xD
anywayz, you keep saying 'the end' dun you =P I kinda wish it didn't end... coz I really adored this ficcie :D ANYWAYZ... *rolls eyes for her babling* get the sequel up soon! ;) please? I'm sure we're all DYING to know what'll happen ;P LoL
I'd say begin just before the wedding ;) you could have some fun with a stressed hermione, nervous ron, hyped up ms. weasley and maybe harry asking ginny The Q? :D heh, just saying xD
anywayz, you keep saying 'the end' dun you =P I kinda wish it didn't end... coz I really adored this ficcie :D ANYWAYZ... *rolls eyes for her babling* get the sequel up soon! ;) please? I'm sure we're all DYING to know what'll happen ;P LoL
2/18/2005 c16 LiSsY2305
OMG soo cute! neeways, i wanna sequel! ie. "We all know" hehehe
OMG soo cute! neeways, i wanna sequel! ie. "We all know" hehehe
2/18/2005 c16 me
yes write a sequel!
yes write a sequel!
2/17/2005 c16 my wheezy
First things first -I ADORED the proposal! And it was completely out of the blue, I hadn't even expected it after the way the moved so bloody slowly!
Onto the actual review now :)
"During the week of the Commencement Ball, the Hogwarts professors made a conscious effort to captivate their pupils' attentions.
There was never a more futile attempt at anything."
I cannot tell you how long I spent falling off my chair and laughing my arse off at this. However, it was no comparision to this, which has turned into my all-time favorite line :
"Ginny batted her eyelashes at Harry and feigned swooning, “Oh, Harry! Sweet pea! You’re my hero! You pried a piece of parchment from the back of my standard Hogwarts letter!”
Harry puffed up his chest exaggeratedly and struck a pose with his fists on his hips, “All in a day’s work, Gin! Honeybunch!”"
*keeps laughing her little head off* I just can't stop. Too funny.
The characterizations are marvelous, I thought you kept them all very close to themselves. No obvious OOC moments, and any that were was explained, and I was happy about that. It's something you rarely see in a fic.
Writing "flashback" is a bit jarring, breaks the flow. There are a few alternatives, such as a barriar line or *, whatever. But the writing makes you stop and the tone is lessened a bit. Not too much to stop enjoying the story, however.
It's a bit over-the-top to mention clothing all the time - I noticed you ceased during the last few chapters but frankly, it was a bit redundant to see, "Hermione was wearing a light blue tank top ... blah blah blah." Unless it's piviotal to the plot, no one really cares what they're wearing. Describing a dress for the ball is fine, but as for every-day clothing, you'd be better off leaving it out.
There’s a good balance of fighting and fluff - not over-the-top theatrics, but not nearly saccharine either. I like that. All too often people think Ron and Hermione are either fighting all the damn time or are so in love they make people around them sick.
"“Depriving a man of his toast”" … hahahahaha.
"Before Hermione could even finish her question, she shrieked as Ron sprinted towards the castle. She tightened her grip on his shoulders, burying her head in his shoulder so that the cold wind didn’t sting her cheeks. He held her tightly in his strong arms.
Rising from the bench across from Gryffindor Tower, Dumbledore observed, “One would notice that their position now is a bit symbolic of their relationship.”
Professor McGonagall brushed snow off her cloak. “Clinging onto each other for dear life? I agree.”" Aw!That's too cute, and I agree, very symbolic of their relationship.
And lastly (is that even a word? I suspect it is, but I've been awake far too long to be certain) on the criticsm front, you have rough transitions, i.e, "on the castle grounds, by the lake". Cut it. Leave a few paragraph spacers or some stars, and it will work fine. You writing generally speaks for itself, and it would enhance the story if you took them out.
Final note, because I've just remembered I loved this - Ginny thinking Harry was gay was abosultely wonderful.
Overall, definately one of my favorite stories, which will be printed out and tugged around with me wherever I go :)
JJ
First things first -I ADORED the proposal! And it was completely out of the blue, I hadn't even expected it after the way the moved so bloody slowly!
Onto the actual review now :)
"During the week of the Commencement Ball, the Hogwarts professors made a conscious effort to captivate their pupils' attentions.
There was never a more futile attempt at anything."
I cannot tell you how long I spent falling off my chair and laughing my arse off at this. However, it was no comparision to this, which has turned into my all-time favorite line :
"Ginny batted her eyelashes at Harry and feigned swooning, “Oh, Harry! Sweet pea! You’re my hero! You pried a piece of parchment from the back of my standard Hogwarts letter!”
Harry puffed up his chest exaggeratedly and struck a pose with his fists on his hips, “All in a day’s work, Gin! Honeybunch!”"
*keeps laughing her little head off* I just can't stop. Too funny.
The characterizations are marvelous, I thought you kept them all very close to themselves. No obvious OOC moments, and any that were was explained, and I was happy about that. It's something you rarely see in a fic.
Writing "flashback" is a bit jarring, breaks the flow. There are a few alternatives, such as a barriar line or *, whatever. But the writing makes you stop and the tone is lessened a bit. Not too much to stop enjoying the story, however.
It's a bit over-the-top to mention clothing all the time - I noticed you ceased during the last few chapters but frankly, it was a bit redundant to see, "Hermione was wearing a light blue tank top ... blah blah blah." Unless it's piviotal to the plot, no one really cares what they're wearing. Describing a dress for the ball is fine, but as for every-day clothing, you'd be better off leaving it out.
There’s a good balance of fighting and fluff - not over-the-top theatrics, but not nearly saccharine either. I like that. All too often people think Ron and Hermione are either fighting all the damn time or are so in love they make people around them sick.
"“Depriving a man of his toast”" … hahahahaha.
"Before Hermione could even finish her question, she shrieked as Ron sprinted towards the castle. She tightened her grip on his shoulders, burying her head in his shoulder so that the cold wind didn’t sting her cheeks. He held her tightly in his strong arms.
Rising from the bench across from Gryffindor Tower, Dumbledore observed, “One would notice that their position now is a bit symbolic of their relationship.”
Professor McGonagall brushed snow off her cloak. “Clinging onto each other for dear life? I agree.”" Aw!That's too cute, and I agree, very symbolic of their relationship.
And lastly (is that even a word? I suspect it is, but I've been awake far too long to be certain) on the criticsm front, you have rough transitions, i.e, "on the castle grounds, by the lake". Cut it. Leave a few paragraph spacers or some stars, and it will work fine. You writing generally speaks for itself, and it would enhance the story if you took them out.
Final note, because I've just remembered I loved this - Ginny thinking Harry was gay was abosultely wonderful.
Overall, definately one of my favorite stories, which will be printed out and tugged around with me wherever I go :)
JJ
2/17/2005 c16 sballLuvr5
omg this was so good! i loved it! it was so romantic! i was like jumping up and down in my seat! this story was really really good! WRITE A SEQUEL! write about the wedding... your ending was really good too and funny... good job...
Kristi
omg this was so good! i loved it! it was so romantic! i was like jumping up and down in my seat! this story was really really good! WRITE A SEQUEL! write about the wedding... your ending was really good too and funny... good job...
Kristi
2/17/2005 c16 1blackrose713
AH OMG THAT WAS SUCH A GOOD STORY U NEED TO WRITE A SEQUEL! sorry if i havn't reveiwed before but i just registered. but that was a really really good story! WRITE A SEQUEL!
1blackrose713AH OMG THAT WAS SUCH A GOOD STORY U NEED TO WRITE A SEQUEL! sorry if i havn't reveiwed before but i just registered. but that was a really really good story! WRITE A SEQUEL!
2/17/2005 c16 1RainDateChick
YAY! You're gonna write a sequel! YAY! I cannot wait! If it's anywhere near as good as this one, then I am dying to read it!
XOXOwinnie
1RainDateChickYAY! You're gonna write a sequel! YAY! I cannot wait! If it's anywhere near as good as this one, then I am dying to read it!
XOXOwinnie