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for ArPharazon the Golden and the Heirs of Amandil

1/31/2019 c1 Finwe
the story is fantastic and successfully fills many of the gaps left by Tolkien.
What has struck me is that the eagles throw lightning bolts; or to mention that the world was flat before akallabeth (in one of Tolkien's letters, he mentions that the world was always round but that men, perhaps influenced by Sauron, believed it was flat).
On the other hand, in the dream of chapter 8, the name of Elendil is mentioned several times instead of Amandil's.
1/8/2019 c12 6Lady Silverfrost
This was excellent! I really enjoyed reading it.
11/17/2016 c12 Arvedui
Gorgeous. Perfectly crafted and reminiscent of the Professor in a way most fan works lack, excellent job!
2/11/2014 c12 2Ysmira
Excelent story! But who won after all? :) Its hard to tell. You pointed so many detailes in this story, that I dont think about it as a fanfic, but as the extend of the book! Your Sauron is just amazing. You cant do not feel sympathy for him, but he is also this evil, gorgeous bastard :) I love this scene when he lost his temper and shouted on the poor Ar-Pharazon :) It was really very hard to him to endure so many years of politeness :)

Please write some other Sauron or Melkor staff! :)
12/20/2011 c12 Golgar
A great story. Only thing that I noticed was the witch king's fake canon name, but I suppose it's as good as any.

I also would have liked to know if Amandil made it to the Valar, but on the other hand no resolution can be as fascinating as the mystery. I especially liked that you let the Numenorian army at least some combat in Valinor and made it appear like they could have in fact won, or at least cause major damage.

I will also read your other stories.
12/5/2004 c12 4Archaic Scribe
There were a great many elements you communicated so well in this story from the various religious rites, both black and white or simply put, good verses evil to the myths incorporated with those of Avalon (who could miss the similarities in spelling Tolkien gave us, right?) along with the practices of the old Roman leadership, the legend of Atlantis…just to name a few.

The integration of the elves into the story, the familiar characters taking council with the loyal and honorable sons of Númenor was pointed - I could almost feel the longing, the homesickness of the men that were forced to found a new settlement upon Middle-earth - the insights and birth of what became the kingdoms of men that provided the pivotal stories for the Lord of the Rings…the establishment of the white tree, the symbol of Gondor, etc., - wonderfully done!

You covered so much with such realistic detail - I felt as if I was actually there as the Ringbearers of the Elves revealed their secret to the eyes of men.

Your description and perfectly paced scene of the War was nothing short of marvelous!

I will not recount every little bit that amazed me, so I end my wonderment of specifics at this point.

You have written them with a great amount of attention to detail that transcends any fanfiction story that I have read.

Even with a known storyline, you have written like a master of suspense!

Excellent story!

I hope you plan on writing another sometime in the future - and your idea to post a fully written story from the start is an inspiring example to follow, methinks. ;-)

12/4/2004 c11 Archaic Scribe
Wow! What an intimidating picture you have set!

My heart began to pound with anticipation throughout this installment…my emotions ran the gamut from elation to desperation!

And great balls of fire - the last scene of Queen Mirel was well beyond moving! Thinking back…I feel as if I have lost her twice! LOL! ;-)

This was fierce and uplifting! I should keep reading, for there remains only a little bit left, but, alas, I am exhausted after this brilliant, emotional, mental rollarcoaster ride!
12/4/2004 c10 Archaic Scribe
*Claps!* Wonderful horse! Intelligent…and talented! ;-)

One can feel Elendil’s fear when viewing the deflection of lightening bolts and the despair, the disappointment - of Manwë’s eagles!

Again…the tension is building - another excellent chapter!
12/4/2004 c9 Archaic Scribe
*Lets out long, high whistle*

Your finest chapter yet! The descriptions that created such detailed imagery and movement to this climax - were simply remarkable!

It can be expected, that when the forces of Manwë’s eagles come down, bidden by those less commanding, upon the lands, one can well count on an extraordinary sight!

You have done it justice - once again, exceptional attention to detail regarding both character and description!

I shudder with excitement to think what you will accomplish when all hell breaks loose later on in this tale!
12/4/2004 c8 Archaic Scribe
“Look at my face! Is this the face of an immortal? Is this the face of a living god? Look at me and answer truly, dog of Mordor!”

Hm…I was wondering when old Ar-Phar was going to get nasty and ugly with his “servant” again!

As typical, you have captured the accelerating madness of the King well - “…Ar-Pharazon was speechless, tears of joy rolling down his withered cheeks.”

You covered a lot, once again, in this chapter with unbelievable perseverance and realism. You are fitting all the pieces of history together with inspiring magnificence.

The serious tension is building nicely - that description of Amadil’s vision was fittingly done! Bravo!
12/4/2004 c7 Archaic Scribe
“Amandil had never seen it in person, but it was said to be a vast cylindrical building of white marble, five-hundred feet in diameter, with walls fifty feet thick.”

Detail like this gives a realistic element to all your chapters. Thick with history and such thorough detail bring a breath of life to this story that is rarely rivaled in any of the works I have read on this site. The crowning touch is your proficient grasp of imagery!

Poor Queen Miriel! Would that she could have escaped such tragedy in an early death in the previous chapter, so that she would not have to glimpse the holy place before she was drowned! I had initially thought her demised in the last chapter because of being carried away by the moment (and that I had not read the Akallabeth in such a very long while)! ;-) However, after I thought about it a while…then when I started reading where I left off…I knew my initial mistake.

You portray Sauron more brilliantly as this moves along…I feel as if I am almost convinced of his “sincere” indignation in the face of the Valar! His smooth sway with words comes through like a penetrating beam of sunshine, although, we all know that he is far from warm and fuzzy.

The command you have on Isildur and the other characters in this story is nothing short of amazing. I was completely convinced of Isildur’s emotion when the tree was hacked down.

“Minastir felt a steely resolve build within him. He was an old Man, whose life was bound to end in time...but before it did, he would do this one thing, so that he might not be ashamed to stand in the presence of his ancestors when his soul was delivered up to them.”

And this…you give as much life to your supporting characters as much as the main characters, which is clearly present in the example listed above these words.

You depict the picture of seeming satanic rites in classic fashion! I can just see Sauron and his minions, the essence of evil worshiping black masses flitting about with dark purpose.
11/29/2004 c6 Archaic Scribe
I like how you have generalized the worship of Eru, making it a somewhat universal pagan belief and worship system, starting with the scene at the Hallow. It seems so pure and untainted the way you have written it. A nicely done scene. Simple and informative - so much so that one can feel, or maybe suspect is a better word, the trepidation mounting.

I am sad to see the Queen go - she has gotten such a raw deal - and finally, in her moment of truth - that pinnacle moment when she stands up for what she believes in, she must die the martyrs death at the hand of her insane husband!

Ah! It is like Mists of Avalon with a touch of Sodom and Gomorrah! (Well, maybe that is a bit dramatic, but you get the idea - I'm just getting extremely invested in this story and its characters is all I can attribute that to at this time). Anyway, told quite well on your part, I must say!

You are building the climax very nicely and I am anxious to read on - I am always disappointed when I am anxious to keep reading and I run out of time! Very frustrating, especially when reading a good story such as this one! Yet, on the other hand, I would rather give it my focused attention rather than a half-ass skimming over of the words.

*Sigh* The double edged sword…

On a side note: Yet another reason for me to dislike Ar-Pharazon - I detest it when people speak of themselves in the third person! Ugh! If I had ever doubted him as a freak in the past - that would have solidified my opinion!
11/5/2004 c5 Archaic Scribe
This story is perfection, thus far, I daresay. The interaction between Anarion and Isildur is magnificent. Their banter is comfortable and unforced, very natural.

I truly like everything about this story - you have been thorough and everything from the spelling to the imagery to the telling seems so immaculate - many of us in the fanfiction realm could take this story as an example of what a posting should be on this site.

Already, I see many holes and nitpicky things that should be corrected and explored and if mine is half as good as this months and months down the road, I will feel happy.

The perfection of all aspects of this really cause your talent to shine through unmarred by anything of minute detail.

“…I'm sure you're much better than Beleg . The younger child is always better than the older one!" LOL! And I didn’t even go off on the tangent of humor yet!

*Growls* Nuphkor and his company are a band of cruel, evil men…I like them not. *Gr*

There is so much already to cover in the Akallabeth and you acknowledge it, weave it in, and somehow keep this story gripping and insightful into the characters and circumstances of the tale - no small feat. I think it sensible of you to not dwell on the same old stories lain out for us in the books - most readers would rather hear the missing bits of details not given by Tolkien!

In the wisdom of a Man of the Númenor, it is delightful to see Elendil’s musing on the elven maidens being older - it is good timing to present his realism and self-reminder of perceptions that could be foreign to the following races of men, that were not granted as many years on Middle-earth as the original Elf-friends, save Elesser.

“I hoped this to be an absurd tale dreamed up by some traveler in his cups…" What an eloquent way to say someone is intoxicated. :-D

Delightful explanation of history to Elendil by Gil-galad of the Rings of Power and reasoning why the elves dare not use them - their whole conversation is engaging. Gil-galad’s objectivity is portrayed well.

So, that is why the burning of bodies - a sacrifice to Morgoth - I should have known!

Gil-galad’s library and treasure trove sound simply marvelous - ah, to be a guest of the king!

Palantiri! Excellent! Happily anticipating the next chapter... :-)
11/2/2004 c4 Archaic Scribe
IV.) Revelation (Review)

Again, you capture the arrogance of these men, in their songs of Ar-Pharazon bypassing the accomplishments of both Eärendil and Elros - they have some nerve! Yet, how predictably human as well.

“…voice that was a balm to the listener.
10/23/2004 c3 Archaic Scribe
With ArPharazon being so completely overconfident (and that is saying it mildly, I think, overzealous comes to mind as well) and Sauron’s speech to Elendil, it is easy to see the sway of Sauron’s charm, when he wishes it, eh?

It is said he could be quite convincing to the Men of Númenor. I think if I had been in Elendil’s shoes when Sauron crept up upon me, all thought and utterance would have been frozen beyond time.

You present ArPharazon as the pompous ass he truly was gauged as in the Akallabeth. Even with his suspicions and misgivings of Sauron, the ego of ArPharazon is a consistent and reliable thing. ;-)

Sauron must have delighted in his contemplation of this newest plan, knowing how easy it would be for him, even if he had not the powers of persuasions that he possessed, to play upon the characteristics of the self-righteous ArPharazon!

I almost, but not quite, of course, feel pity for ArPharazon when Sauron exerts his true wrath and superiority. Sauron must be sickening himself deep within at having to grovel and stroke such a massive, and overly conceited, psyche as ArPharazon!

I have never enjoyed the Akallabeth so much! You have made Sauron likable, not just some flat character who represents evil.

Another nicely written chapter!
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