for Harry Potter and the Necromancer's Pebble11/15/2007 c1 
26Spuffy57
Narrator: I don’t want to end up on the floor! It’s cold!
Snape: I’d catch you!
(There’s a beat as everyone looks at Snape, shocked)
Narrator: Assuming you weren’t the one that pushed me ...
Snape: Look, I said I was sorry about not calling-
...omg hahaha this amazing!
26Spuffy57Narrator: I don’t want to end up on the floor! It’s cold!
Snape: I’d catch you!
(There’s a beat as everyone looks at Snape, shocked)
Narrator: Assuming you weren’t the one that pushed me ...
Snape: Look, I said I was sorry about not calling-
...omg hahaha this amazing!
8/31/2007 c1 1Siriusly Odd
Okay, Way to late for constructive criticism right? By the way, did you get an A? But, just to be cheeky, I'm going to give it anyways.
You actually have some funny bits in here, but their impact is lessened by the other random nonsense inbetween. Your humor comes in such short bursts it leaves the reader going, "wait...huh?" which is not a good thing. Character comes on stage, delivers one liner, jumps off stage. wth? Give them time to recuperate!
All in all, very good. Really enjoyed it. Hope you got an A!
1Siriusly OddOkay, Way to late for constructive criticism right? By the way, did you get an A? But, just to be cheeky, I'm going to give it anyways.
You actually have some funny bits in here, but their impact is lessened by the other random nonsense inbetween. Your humor comes in such short bursts it leaves the reader going, "wait...huh?" which is not a good thing. Character comes on stage, delivers one liner, jumps off stage. wth? Give them time to recuperate!
All in all, very good. Really enjoyed it. Hope you got an A!
7/8/2005 c1 9Lily Smith
I don't think I've laughed this hard since we put the chicken in the swimming pool. Nice!
9Lily SmithI don't think I've laughed this hard since we put the chicken in the swimming pool. Nice!
6/22/2005 c1 mystical whatever
lmao! this is like one of those 'movies in 15minutes' fics!
:P keep up the insannesish stuff!
lmao! this is like one of those 'movies in 15minutes' fics!
:P keep up the insannesish stuff!
2/19/2005 c1 KateKeystone
Wow, that was amazing. Great humor and sarcastic remarks. :P
Wow, that was amazing. Great humor and sarcastic remarks. :P
11/5/2004 c1 17Enarra
Okay. So you want me to be constructive criticism girl? Here goes...
So, I really like your stuff, but this one got old really fast. The humor wasn't good enough to be funny, but, on the other hand, it wasn't bad enough to be funny (in that fun stupid way). It was too random, so that it got be annoying: characters popping in out of nowhere, immediately leaving, quick bursts of something, I'm not really sure what.
Okay, what I'm really trying to say is this: It could be fairly good, but the humor gets annoying. And you need an editor (Sorry, my compulsive editor is coming out once again. I'm going to go run and hide now, so feel free to kill me if you feel inclined to do so. But not literally. I like my life, and I'm going to be an Aunt soon! I want to be alive for that.).
-Eva
PS- Thanks for putting a Blazing Saddles quote in Life as a Film, it made my day. I practically grew up on Mel Brooks. That and the Marx Brothers. And old back and white movies. Anyway, have you seen On Golden Pond? Just wondering.
17EnarraOkay. So you want me to be constructive criticism girl? Here goes...
So, I really like your stuff, but this one got old really fast. The humor wasn't good enough to be funny, but, on the other hand, it wasn't bad enough to be funny (in that fun stupid way). It was too random, so that it got be annoying: characters popping in out of nowhere, immediately leaving, quick bursts of something, I'm not really sure what.
Okay, what I'm really trying to say is this: It could be fairly good, but the humor gets annoying. And you need an editor (Sorry, my compulsive editor is coming out once again. I'm going to go run and hide now, so feel free to kill me if you feel inclined to do so. But not literally. I like my life, and I'm going to be an Aunt soon! I want to be alive for that.).
-Eva
PS- Thanks for putting a Blazing Saddles quote in Life as a Film, it made my day. I practically grew up on Mel Brooks. That and the Marx Brothers. And old back and white movies. Anyway, have you seen On Golden Pond? Just wondering.
11/4/2004 c1 10TheBenevolentThorn
ok. this is cool. if you don't get an a, your teacher's on crack. hm *goes back through to check for things i would change* um...i don't get the goodbye stranger part, or the dig deep ralphie part, but if they were explained to me, i have no problem with them. and where it says "Narrator: TROLL... IN THE DUNGEON! ... Thought you ought to know!" was that supposed to be the narrator, or was that supposed to be mcgonagall, cause that would make sense with the she stole my line thing. or is the narrator a woman? hadn't thought of that, but it is a possibility, i guess. i dunno. all in all, though, i like it, and i think it would make an awesome play. keep up the good work, update life as a soundtrack asap, i should probably update too, come to think of it. lol. anyways, thanks for asking for help, i'm glad to give it. bye.
10TheBenevolentThornok. this is cool. if you don't get an a, your teacher's on crack. hm *goes back through to check for things i would change* um...i don't get the goodbye stranger part, or the dig deep ralphie part, but if they were explained to me, i have no problem with them. and where it says "Narrator: TROLL... IN THE DUNGEON! ... Thought you ought to know!" was that supposed to be the narrator, or was that supposed to be mcgonagall, cause that would make sense with the she stole my line thing. or is the narrator a woman? hadn't thought of that, but it is a possibility, i guess. i dunno. all in all, though, i like it, and i think it would make an awesome play. keep up the good work, update life as a soundtrack asap, i should probably update too, come to think of it. lol. anyways, thanks for asking for help, i'm glad to give it. bye.
11/4/2004 c1 19Woe is Me
i love this! i love this! i love this! i love this! i love this! i love this! i love this! i love this! i love this! i love this! i love this! i love this! i love this! i love this! i love this! i love this! i love this! i love this! i love this! i love this! i love this! i love this! i love this! i love this! i love this! i love this! i love this! i love this! i love this! i love this! i love this! i love this! i love this! i love this! i love this! i love this! i love this! i love this! i love this! i love this! i love this! i love this! i love this! i love this! i love this! i love this! i love this! i love this! i love this! i love this! i love this! i love this! i love this! i love this! i love this! i love this! i love this! i love this! i love this! i love this! i love this! i love this! i love this! i love this! i love this! i love this! i love this! i love this! i love this!
what? it's true!
19Woe is Mei love this! i love this! i love this! i love this! i love this! i love this! i love this! i love this! i love this! i love this! i love this! i love this! i love this! i love this! i love this! i love this! i love this! i love this! i love this! i love this! i love this! i love this! i love this! i love this! i love this! i love this! i love this! i love this! i love this! i love this! i love this! i love this! i love this! i love this! i love this! i love this! i love this! i love this! i love this! i love this! i love this! i love this! i love this! i love this! i love this! i love this! i love this! i love this! i love this! i love this! i love this! i love this! i love this! i love this! i love this! i love this! i love this! i love this! i love this! i love this! i love this! i love this! i love this! i love this! i love this! i love this! i love this! i love this! i love this!
what? it's true!
11/4/2004 c1 3NotreDamegirlie
Pretty good, funny, and all those other great things this is. Just one question: WHEN will you UPDATE Life as a Soundtrack? I'm dying here!
3NotreDamegirliePretty good, funny, and all those other great things this is. Just one question: WHEN will you UPDATE Life as a Soundtrack? I'm dying here!