for The Point of Being Young11/16/2004 c1 
146absurdvampmuse
Hey!
I thought that this was a pretty good beginning to a story; the chapter was amusing to read and pretty in character, though you tended to take their characters a bit overboard every now and then by making their comments a bit too funny, do you know what I mean? Just tone it down a bit and you'll be absolutely fine, I have no doubt about that since this has really good potential and I can't wait for a next chapter.
Bye, smile :-)
146absurdvampmuseHey!
I thought that this was a pretty good beginning to a story; the chapter was amusing to read and pretty in character, though you tended to take their characters a bit overboard every now and then by making their comments a bit too funny, do you know what I mean? Just tone it down a bit and you'll be absolutely fine, I have no doubt about that since this has really good potential and I can't wait for a next chapter.
Bye, smile :-)