for The Hollow Men2/12/2005 c8 vic
Nice, this is a great fic concerning how the FMP universe came into being seperate from our own. it is good to find out more about napa valley as a character as well. please keep on writing!
Nice, this is a great fic concerning how the FMP universe came into being seperate from our own. it is good to find out more about napa valley as a character as well. please keep on writing!
2/12/2005 c8 reader
"...Egypt had made a concerted effort to arm itself with cutting-edge Soviet weapons, including the new, then-powerful T-72 tank, and Israel had the latest export version of the M-60 battle tank..."
I believe there's a mistake here. As I recalled, the T-72 was never used during the Yom Kippur War (I'm not sure was it even built yet). It was the T-62 that was the Arabs' newest tank used in that war. The T-72 first saw action against the Israelis during their invasion of Lebanon in 1982 when they were facing the Syrians.
"...Egypt had made a concerted effort to arm itself with cutting-edge Soviet weapons, including the new, then-powerful T-72 tank, and Israel had the latest export version of the M-60 battle tank..."
I believe there's a mistake here. As I recalled, the T-72 was never used during the Yom Kippur War (I'm not sure was it even built yet). It was the T-62 that was the Arabs' newest tank used in that war. The T-72 first saw action against the Israelis during their invasion of Lebanon in 1982 when they were facing the Syrians.
1/31/2005 c4 M.Johnson
Thanks for the mention in your acknowledgements
(finally, my name in print!).Seriously though, your work is professional quality. You don't get
a sense of how big Mithril really is from just
the anime and your story helped expand that world
for me.Keep up the good work.
Thanks for the mention in your acknowledgements
(finally, my name in print!).Seriously though, your work is professional quality. You don't get
a sense of how big Mithril really is from just
the anime and your story helped expand that world
for me.Keep up the good work.
1/4/2005 c4 
8cultnirvana
*finally sees daylight after finishing university coursework*
Yay, I finally got some time to get back to this. I think you have actually bettered the first two chapters with these two, a difficult feat as the first two were so great. Perfect grammar, spelling, etc. Great plotting and we're really starting to get into some really nice characterisation now. I really like the character of Kenji especially and can't wait to find out more about his past. And a fic with accurate history! I never thought I'd see the day! (I'm even now starting to remember the Cold War history I did so many years ago.)
Keep up the great work, cultnirvana
8cultnirvana*finally sees daylight after finishing university coursework*
Yay, I finally got some time to get back to this. I think you have actually bettered the first two chapters with these two, a difficult feat as the first two were so great. Perfect grammar, spelling, etc. Great plotting and we're really starting to get into some really nice characterisation now. I really like the character of Kenji especially and can't wait to find out more about his past. And a fic with accurate history! I never thought I'd see the day! (I'm even now starting to remember the Cold War history I did so many years ago.)
Keep up the great work, cultnirvana
12/30/2004 c3 9Wild Goose 01
Well, well.
Jack Douglas told me to take a look at this, and I'm glad I did.
Descriptions, and the appendix at the end are all done well. Grammar flows smoothly, and is actually pretty realistic in mil-speak, and in how things would be done.
The only thing I'm kinda curious about is the two Sergeants: I'd have expected them to be MITHRIL officers, not NCOs. *shrug* Still, we don't really know a lot about MITHRIL's command structure.
Australia as MITHPAC's HQ: Interstingly, in the FMP novel Owari Day to Day, MITHPAC's HQ is ALSO in Sydney. You wouldn't by any chance have read it, would you? If not, has translated .pdf files of it - it's a good read, and I hear it's gonna be the basis for the new season of FMP.
Also, Kenji seems interedting, and he has a psat with NAPA VALLEY. This has promise, and I can't wait to see how it plays out. *nodnod* He also seems somewhat like Sousuke... is he related to Sousuke?
Good points on trying to bring up more MITHRIL elements; also, according to Owari Day to Day, MITHRIL mans a North Atlantic squadron, called "Palhorn". From what I can gather, SRT squadrons are organized by oceans.
Anyways, sorry for the long review and comments. Keep it up; this is definately a good yarn.
9Wild Goose 01Well, well.
Jack Douglas told me to take a look at this, and I'm glad I did.
Descriptions, and the appendix at the end are all done well. Grammar flows smoothly, and is actually pretty realistic in mil-speak, and in how things would be done.
The only thing I'm kinda curious about is the two Sergeants: I'd have expected them to be MITHRIL officers, not NCOs. *shrug* Still, we don't really know a lot about MITHRIL's command structure.
Australia as MITHPAC's HQ: Interstingly, in the FMP novel Owari Day to Day, MITHPAC's HQ is ALSO in Sydney. You wouldn't by any chance have read it, would you? If not, has translated .pdf files of it - it's a good read, and I hear it's gonna be the basis for the new season of FMP.
Also, Kenji seems interedting, and he has a psat with NAPA VALLEY. This has promise, and I can't wait to see how it plays out. *nodnod* He also seems somewhat like Sousuke... is he related to Sousuke?
Good points on trying to bring up more MITHRIL elements; also, according to Owari Day to Day, MITHRIL mans a North Atlantic squadron, called "Palhorn". From what I can gather, SRT squadrons are organized by oceans.
Anyways, sorry for the long review and comments. Keep it up; this is definately a good yarn.
12/20/2004 c2 M.johnson
Fantastic! this is the best FMP fanfic i've read!
It's like Metal Gear and Tom Clancy all rolled into one. The charaters are well developed and
you really did your homework on the settings. I want to read more keep going!
Fantastic! this is the best FMP fanfic i've read!
It's like Metal Gear and Tom Clancy all rolled into one. The charaters are well developed and
you really did your homework on the settings. I want to read more keep going!
12/19/2004 c2 Jack Douglas
Whoa, good story man, and interesting MGS3SE referance. ^_^
I find it interesting that you're doing a story about MITHRIL's beginnings - keep up the good work!
Whoa, good story man, and interesting MGS3SE referance. ^_^
I find it interesting that you're doing a story about MITHRIL's beginnings - keep up the good work!
12/18/2004 c2 8Lakewood
Great job once again.
I really hate to sound repetitive, but your research for this story continues to impress me on so many different levels. I feel as if I am learning things by reading your story, as if I am getting smarter by reading this and looking at the plot of the entire story in retrospect.
Your character development, I believe, is top notch. I especially like the character concepts of Rachenkov, Mark, and Kenji.
You seem to have put so much work into every last aspect of this story. It is really quite remarkable.
Keep up the good work.
8LakewoodGreat job once again.
I really hate to sound repetitive, but your research for this story continues to impress me on so many different levels. I feel as if I am learning things by reading your story, as if I am getting smarter by reading this and looking at the plot of the entire story in retrospect.
Your character development, I believe, is top notch. I especially like the character concepts of Rachenkov, Mark, and Kenji.
You seem to have put so much work into every last aspect of this story. It is really quite remarkable.
Keep up the good work.
12/18/2004 c2 8cultnirvana
Another great chapter, MJP! Be proud when you have a Sou/Kana fanatic reading a FMP! fic without either of them in it! I wasn't expecting so much great humour. Grammar and spelling wise everything is perfect too. So refreshing.
I'm astonished at how fast you produced this second chapter. A chapter takes me a week when I'm motivated :D
Can we expect another chapter soon? ^_~
cultnirvana
8cultnirvanaAnother great chapter, MJP! Be proud when you have a Sou/Kana fanatic reading a FMP! fic without either of them in it! I wasn't expecting so much great humour. Grammar and spelling wise everything is perfect too. So refreshing.
I'm astonished at how fast you produced this second chapter. A chapter takes me a week when I'm motivated :D
Can we expect another chapter soon? ^_~
cultnirvana
12/17/2004 c1 8Lakewood
Good job so far.
Your research or possibly even general knowledge of the subject... astounds me. I find pure Russian feel of this to be great.
Great job on trying something original. This is great in the perspective that it offers insight to the background to Full Metal Panic and doesn't involve any of the series' characters. I like the idea that you are using all original characters in your story. Your main character's concept is superb.
Good job. Keep up the good work.
8LakewoodGood job so far.
Your research or possibly even general knowledge of the subject... astounds me. I find pure Russian feel of this to be great.
Great job on trying something original. This is great in the perspective that it offers insight to the background to Full Metal Panic and doesn't involve any of the series' characters. I like the idea that you are using all original characters in your story. Your main character's concept is superb.
Good job. Keep up the good work.
12/16/2004 c1 Hang Tuah
Wow, this is something new. A background story explaining how the FMP! world came to be and how the Soviet Union survived. I can't wait to see what happens next. Will we get to see how Mithril was formed too?
Wow, this is something new. A background story explaining how the FMP! world came to be and how the Soviet Union survived. I can't wait to see what happens next. Will we get to see how Mithril was formed too?
12/14/2004 c1 8cultnirvana
This is really, really good so far. I normally shy away from fics without the major characters (I think I'm just far to obsessed with Sousuke and Kaname), but this first chapter has certainly catched my attention. The amount of research you've done for it...it scares me. God, you must be really focused on this fic.
Keep up the great work, cultnirvana
(MGS3? I haven't been able to escape that game for the past few weeks due to an obsessed boyfriend. I better try it at some stage, despite knowing almost everything about the plot of all three :D)
8cultnirvanaThis is really, really good so far. I normally shy away from fics without the major characters (I think I'm just far to obsessed with Sousuke and Kaname), but this first chapter has certainly catched my attention. The amount of research you've done for it...it scares me. God, you must be really focused on this fic.
Keep up the great work, cultnirvana
(MGS3? I haven't been able to escape that game for the past few weeks due to an obsessed boyfriend. I better try it at some stage, despite knowing almost everything about the plot of all three :D)