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for Chrono Trigger: The Sands of Time

11/30/2006 c48 9Kit Thespian
Ooh-ooh! I loved this chappie! The fight with Magus was awesome. Cyrus was a real jerk, wasn't he? A noble warrior whose power corrupted him...that's tragic. I think it interesting how Magus was willing to give Glenn a chance to escape. Perhaps he saw just how worth an adversary he was. But, being the Magus fan, I loved how you talked him up so nicely! "..hast thou ever dueled with a single man who was so proficient on his own that armies and ogres pale in comparison?"

That's my Magus! Ahem, anyways...

Best line: “Canst thou land a blow? Dost thou swing an axe or a sword? Thy strength has improved greatly, but where is thy technique?”

The reason I picked those is imagining someone saying that to CRONO, for pete's sake. But it's a beautifully written line, as is all of Glenn and Cyrus' speech.
11/29/2006 c48 3Nova Flame
Another very well done chapter. I'm happy to hear that there are more on the way very soon; I really enjoy this story and am anxious to get further into it.

I kind of think you were being a little unfair to Cyrus, though. He didn't play a large role in the game, but he did seem to be humbler than what you made him to be. In the game he admits that Glenn is better with a sword than he is and that he should become a knight, although Glenn doesn't like the idea. Granted, this gives a little more personality to Cyrus than the game does, and it might explain why he lost with the Masamune while Glenn can win, but it just seemed more negative than what I would've pictured him. Anyways, that's my opinion on the matter.

I look forward to the next chapter, and keep up the great work.
11/29/2006 c48 WhiteWings88
Character interaction here was needed for both characters and readers, and you've filled both requirements very well. I'm interested that you left out the Frog King, though I think it's more fitting that Cyrus got the medal from Guardia (or that's what I'm assuming). The death scene was so sad, and fitting for Cyrus. I almost felt like crying (the second time that happened for any story, the first being when I read A Walk to Remember by Nicholas Sparks).

Don't keep us in suspence for too long, now =D

-Angie
11/26/2006 c27 2White Tempest
omgomgomg...ur such a good writer...i mean...all that wisdom and logic and stuff in the chaps...*stars in eyes.

ok ok...i really love the personalities you gave the characters, and also, the plot is really coming along well. Good job!
11/24/2006 c47 2Limitless00
Dude...this story is one of the best I've read so far. PLEASE don't stop. I want to see what will happen next. TRULY AWESOME!
11/7/2006 c47 WhiteWings88
Oh, I see, and thanks. That's really cool (sorry that you had to repeat yourself; didn't notice at first where you did mention it before) Anyways, it must be hard for Glenn; having friends who disappear, and one of the only ways one hears of things back then was spoken communication, so he had no way of knowing if they were alright or not. Nice quote at the end of Melchior's scene, by the way; seems like somehting he would say, no? Til next time:

-Angie Prime
11/5/2006 c47 9Kit Thespian
Wow, good chapter! Thanks for the language lesson. And I liked the movie references. "A little nonsense now and then is cherished among the wisest of men!" Hee hee! And I liked the mystic on his way to seek some revenge on Melchior and the others. Bet he'll never have such thoughts ever again.

Lucca was getting worse and worse in this chapter. I hope what Melchior said to her made an impact and she'll get better.

"A long time ago I had someone dear to me who would only listen for answers, but never search for them. What happened to that person is something that haunts me to this day."

Gee, I wonder who that was?

Robo's puns are great! He reminds me of the chair of the Music Department at my college. He always makes terrible puns on purpose and we groan to show our appreciation. If we don't like it, we say nothing.

But poor Melchior; hearing about his old friends and how Lucca was unkind to them. That would have been more than I could take if I'd have been him. I liked his rune. I hope you reunite the three of them before the story is out. I didn't like that about the game.

Best line: “If it didn’t work it would have been a ‘sword-ed affair’, right?”
11/5/2006 c47 3Nova Flame
Well, it's been awhile, but it's been well worth the wait. The humor you put in was nice, and you really do give life to the characters. I don't mind you taking some liberties with the game, but I always think it's important to stay on canon when doing a novelization. I've found stories that go off the plotline and turn it into something totally different and then try and pass it off as a novelization. The points in between major plot points can be debatable, but changing the major points crosses a line. Anyways, that's just my ranting and my opinion. I tend to be more dark just by nature, so I look forward reading onward. Until next chapter, though, I'll catch ya later.
10/25/2006 c46 WhiteWings88
I am again blown away by your work. It's a little odd to hear Ayla talk in complete sentences, or to have Johnny to put such very high stakes on a race, but it works well with the tone and deepness of this story. It's hard to find really good novellizations of this game, and this is definitely one of them.

I'm curious by the language you used for the 650 BC people spoke in. I see a bit of Latin in it, but what else is in it? Is it a real language?

Update soon, please!

-Angie Prime
9/29/2006 c46 1Shihali
The idea of the Reptites surviving on as the Mystics is certainly original, and it works well, actually. I had previously gone by Azala's line "we have no future". I think it doesn't work with the Chrono Cross storyline, but it's your story and whether you regard Chrono Cross as normative is up to you.

I dislike how you linked the Reptites to Lavos and the Devil; Azala, in the original Japanese, clearly believed in a deified Mother Earth (in other words, the Entity) and that only one race would survive the coming catastrophe, with the survivor to be decided by trial by combat (Ayla vs. Azala). So when Azala lost the battle, to Azala that meant that Nature itself had chosen the apes to survive and the Reptites to perish. No matter what certain silly websites (you know the one I'm thinking of) say, Chrono Trigger wasn't written from a Christian perspective. Although if you link the Reptites to the Mystics, this makes more sense.

Ayla also felt too weak here. She is a chief and doesn't suffer from lack of self-confidence when dealing with what she knows. The temper is right, but Ayla believes in fighting. "Win and live. Lose and die. Rule of life. No change rule. Old man look alive on outside, but dead on inside." (to the chief of Laruba village). Also the random switches from caveman-speak to formal English were disconcerting.

Some things in this chapter did work. Describing the battle with Nizbel through Kino's eyes and Kino saving the Gate Key (given the very different Azala) worked. "Well, wasn't that the corniest thing I ever heard" worked. And I liked how you remembered how Ayla parted from the party. All in all, though, this chapter and the Chrono Trigger I played don't have much in common.
9/24/2006 c46 9Kit Thespian
What a great chapter! Thank you so much for updating. I loved the bit about the evil magic. That's a nice bit there, that the "apes" become humans and the reptites become mystics. I liked how you made it that the reptites were human beings once. It makes me think of a looney tune line, "I was a human being once!"

Yay! Kino was the hero! I need a hero, I'm holding out for a hero til the end of the night...Ahem, anyway, the last bit with her throwing up was priceless. I suppose when the action finally died down she realized she was nauseous.

Best lines:

“When I found out you stole our things, I was sure I hated you. I thought you were a bad person, but I think you proved me wrong. Thanks to you, we can get home.”

“Well, that wasn’t the corniest thing I ever heard.”

“Shuddap!”

Update when you can!
9/22/2006 c46 Professional Freeloader
Hehehe.
9/19/2006 c16 18Kasienda
You know I looked and looked for a good novelization of Chrono Trigger for years! But much to my disapointment I found very little that went beyond rescuing the queen in the beginning of the game and usually what did go beyond that was so close to the game that I might as well just have been playing the game, which defeated the purpose entirely because I wanted a novelization to further develop the game because there is only so much in the game! (Wow! That was a run on sentence if there ever was one!)

ANYWAY, frustrated I decided to write a novelization myself. I started writing a little less than a year ago trying to do exactly what you have done here. I'm not going to read past this point because it is where I am in my writing (and I discovered that I very much enjoy writing) and I wouldn't want your interpretation to influence what I use or don't in the future, but I did want to say that you have earned a new fan and loyal reader though I'm sure I will always be behind where you are. I love what you've done so far as it is exactly what I was looking for oh so long ago!

A little more specifically I love Frog's confusion and indignation when Lucca and Crono are looking for a trap door and talking about the 'past.' Definately fits his character and it just made me laugh! I think that Marle and Lucca's initial impression of each other makes the story way more realistic and dynamic. And I love the history and relationship that you have established between Crono and Lucca as well. They're the best of friends and the game does not really ever seem to touch on that past. You also have a talent of making the dungeons very dark and scary and the writing does not feel like a video game like so many fanfics often do. You are also great at conveying emotion without saying flat out "crono was scared." or whatever. You are making the story come alive and I thank you for that.

Onto to criticisms...

Sometimes I feel like your discriptions gets a little wordy. I think if you could cut the some of the excess the story would flow a lot better. And lastly this is more my personal opinion so you can of course ignore it, but I don't think Frog would have ever let the king and queen know who he is because he IS ashamed. They knew him as Frog - and he obviously hung around to protect the queen, but they never knew him as Glenn because he was ashamed that he lived and Cyrus died, and he was also ashamed of his form - he should have died and instead he became the amusement of his sworn enemy. Anyway, as I said that's just my opinion and I don't think you should change you're story because your's reads very well.

Good luck with the rest of it!

PS. You have to let Magus live! You could just do so many fun things with that!
8/18/2006 c45 4WaterMelons WaterMelon Mangoes
Hey ... i am new at fan fiction ... but i LOVE ur story ! =D

its ORIGINAL ! u can really say the mood of the story and the enviroment very well ! did u get full marks in ur story writing ? well ... hope to see more great storys from u !

PS : theres one thing i wanna ask ... is crono a couple with marle or lucca ? i really hope its marle though ...

Goodie luckie !

Prophecy
8/15/2006 c45 1Kitsune-Maaku
This is probably the second time i only reviewed your story, and Since i only know tagalog itself, I believe i already know what you said. actually i know for sure. I won't say it here but you better update faster or i'll keep forgetting your story...
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