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for Chrono Trigger: The Sands of Time

8/13/2006 c45 9Kit Thespian
Wow, great chapter. Felt kind of bad for Kino there. Hate to say it, Lucca, but I have to agree with Ayla there that Crono to accept Kino's apology and apologize as well.

The bit about Crono's sister is interesting. I really don't have any theories. I'll just let you write it. It sounds like it's gonna be good!

Well, I gave up trying to translate the last phrase. I got as far as "We have" and I don't even know if that's right. See you soon. I'll have another chapter of "Up a Treehouse" up soon.
8/13/2006 c45 Professional Freeloader
Very cool. And I think I like where your going with Crono's past.
8/10/2006 c45 BlackWindKaze
Hello again. No need to worry about update times, for everyone gets busy and the inspiration to write can sometimes fade for a while.

At any rate, it was another good chapter. I especially enjoyed the dance scene and its descriptions. At first I was worried you may have skipped over Chrono and Marle's dance, but you ended up covering it, and in a good way I believe.

Another point which I am pleased about, and have been through out the story is that you add more to the characters then the game does. That is, you give background info on things both big and small, and throw in interesting facts about their lives.

On that note, as far as novelizations go, this one has been a winner for me because it is not one that merely sticks to the game's script almost exactly. It could just be me, but if a novelization of the game only has the script of the game, I'd much rather play it then read it. A person's creativity can add much to the novel, as you have.

Let's see...I should probably make some kind of suggestion or something. I suppose, and this is small, that some paragraphs could use more breaks. While you don't nessesarily need them, on the odd occasion, a paragraph is a tad big and a break may be helpful.

That said, take care, and I wish you well in your writing.
8/10/2006 c45 Vael300
Cool...keep it up!
8/9/2006 c45 MogGuy
Nice chapter, but you seem to be making Crono's past incredibly tragic and depressing

Also, is the "Prehistoric Speak" an actual language? Or is it something you've been making up?
7/26/2006 c44 Vael300
Awesome story, but you need to update more often! I've been worried that it was on hiatus like three times now...but, eh. Real life can suck, I know that.
7/18/2006 c2 5DemonBredChild
Okay, heres the deal thus far:

Good story, but the dailogue could use some work.

I counted about 15 "Well's" at the start of a sentence, and another 5 "Yeah"s. It's not so bad if you space them out far enough, but if you go over your work again, you'll notice that one well comes right after another. People don't talk that way. If it was a habit of speech for one character, it would be understandable, but no need for all of them to say so. Besides, you don't need 'Well' to start a conversation or come up with a response. Experiment a little with it. Other than that, everything else is great.
7/18/2006 c1 DemonBredChild
I just started reading your fanfic. Let me guess, it's a Crono Trigger-Novelization sort of thing, right? Well, I like it thus far. You're one of the few authors that, rather than simply taking a pre-generated character and using him or her for the purposes of their story, goes far enough to expand upon that same character. I only remember three stories that bothered to give Crono some history before the events of the game, and one of them was a crossover. Hah!

So, yeah, your attention to detail has caught my eye. I'm sure I'll enjoy this novelization as much as I did the actual game.
7/17/2006 c2 Luke Schmuke
It's about time someone finally did a full-fledged novelly thing about Chrono Trigger! Awesome job, too! I think it should be published. I would buy it!
7/12/2006 c44 Xegzy
! what happend update soon. it would be hillarious if crono accidently married ayla anyway. or did they mate without crono realizeing it.
7/9/2006 c44 Professional Freeloader
O. What happened indeed?

Update soon.
7/9/2006 c44 BlackWindKaze
Though short compared to some chapters, it was still quite enjoyable. My only suggestion is to try not to make statements that come from both Marle and Lucca. For example

A scandalous look crossed their faces. “Men are such pigs!” they exclaimed.

The reason for the suggestion is that for whole sentences like that, it seems unlikely that both would say the exact same thing. It also makes it seem as though they are a single entity at times...like, that there is 'Chrono', 'Robo', 'Ayla', and 'The girls'. Eh..its hard to explain .

But yeah, good chapter.
7/9/2006 c44 ten cent friend
update faster!

7/9/2006 c44 9Kit Thespian
Man, oh, man, oh, man. What DID happen the night before? Nothing TOO terrible, I trust. Yes! You finally updated! These chapters aren't as long as your chapters usually are, but that's all right. This chapter was hilarious. I loved how Ayla was just so matter-of-fact about marrying Crono, and how she wasn't too broken up about NOT marrying him. That's just great. I feel kind of bad for Crono, having to drink all of that fermented coconut juice.

I want to commend you for making my least favorite part in the game so entertaining in your story. Thank you!
7/7/2006 c43 8Captain A
Fine job you're doing with this adaptation here-you're fleshing out the characters and details, and you've even managed to get Crono to talk!

Two suggestions though:

1) Get rid of all the bad language-this fanfic works just fine without it, thank you very much. (Not that there's a lot of it, though.)

2) Come on and update, already! You haven't even gotten to the good stuff yet, like Lavos's entrance and the fall and resurrection of Crono. (Glad to hear that you listened to me and all the other Crono lovers out there.)

Other than these problems, I think that you're doing a great job, and this is an excellent bit of fiction.
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