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for Chrono Trigger: The Sands of Time

5/26/2006 c43 2Mission316
People do things fast don't they...

I really appreciate that Ayla and the other "primitive" people can actually speak. As fun as it might be to write in broken English, I can't believe that these people couldn't figure out really simple things, like, you know, verbs and articles.

Mission 316
5/25/2006 c43 BlackWindKaze
Another excellent chapter. The additions you make combined with your level of descriptive ability make it a very interesting read.
5/24/2006 c43 9Kit Thespian
EGAD! In the words of Captain Jack Sparrow, "Not good! Not good!" Ayla wants to marry Crono. Oy. This could be bad. But I like your language. Keep it up!

I just want to see what's going to happen next. Please write more soon!
5/24/2006 c43 Professional Freeloader
I'm not sure weather to laugh at the image of Robo you just gave us, or be greatly disturbed by it.
5/23/2006 c40 26Novalon
I cannot help but think what a passerby would think of, watching Crono's speedy ascent to help Tata. So much grander than any other story I have read, or even written myself, with the weight of the world's future on his shoulders. Had I realized magic could do such a thing to someone... the possibilities... and to know that Magus is so much stronger than the others at that point, he must be nigh unstoppable, if it weren't for them fighting him while he is in the middle of a summoning spell.

The twin's mention of Janus gives rise to the fact that they are aware he is in this time period. I mean, it would make sense, them having fought him as they were wielded by Cyrus, after all, perhaps they recognized his aura or something.

A fantastic chapter, I would leave reviews for all your others, but I feel it is difficult to sum it all up, perhaps a summation in the form of a longer review at the end would be more acceptable.

An interesting point to make, after the defeat of Magus, perhaps Crono's status around Guardia would be legendary? As a result, perhaps in his own time period, his name is known as some kind vagabond warrior, perhaps. Just a formulation of ideas, mainly based on how I would see the timeline change due to the involvement in the war.

I look forward to your coming chapters.
5/17/2006 c42 14Marj
I have to admit... I had been diligently following your story for the past how many months. So far it's the best novelization of CT that I've ever read. I especially appreciate the humour; especially humour that doesn't make any of the characters OC and yet still fits well into the story.

I found myself grinning quite widely at chapter 42 though, not only with the comedy ("Why in the world would the portal be anywhere else beside solid ground?"), but the fact that you actually used a language I recognize for Ayla's native tongue. XD Granted, I don't understand most of what was written (thanks for the translation!) since I'm Kapampangan, but still... it had been very amusing.

Keep up the great work!
5/15/2006 c42 Professional Freeloader
This was really well done. And I found it odly funny when you made that reverence to wheather Crono was a mute.
5/14/2006 c42 9Kit Thespian
Yay! You're just cranking out the chapters, ain't ya?

I have a feeling that Lucca and Marle are going to be unpleasantly surprised once they behold how everyone else in the village is dressed. Serves 'em right. And thank you, thank you, THANK YOU for giving the humans a language of their own. That was cool. Did you make up the language yourself? I said the words outloud. It was really good.

Nice touch with Ayla knowing how to speak the "lizards' language", and thinking that our foursome were perhaps slaves. The "second language" thing is a good reason for her not knowing what they mean by the dream stone.

"What is the Pacific?" HA HA! Crono probably doesn't know the answer to that one either. Write more soon!
5/14/2006 c42 2Mission316
Ah - I was wondering how you'd do Ayla. Honestly, she's the hardest character to write. I don't think I guess wrong when I say fanfic writers dread this part of the story. But you did a good job with it. So what is the language she speaks? Is it made up?

Oh, as for the "fun read" you're worrying about - it's no big deal. If you don't have these kinds of moments, the story is just one battle after another. Who wants that?

And as for little details... don't worry too much if you forget to tie a loose end here and there. Whatever you do, don't start editing yet. If you're anything like me (or any other writer for that matter) you'll get so caught up perfecting your work that you won't actually continue. So, I don't mind if you have tiny continuity errors.

Oh, and you're doing an excellent job with the story. It's kinda hard to translate to writing, but you don't seem to have a problem with that!

Mission 316
5/13/2006 c41 BlackWindKaze
Hello and forgive me for taking so long to review. It had taken me some time to get from the beggining to where I am now in this story.

To start with the good, I believe you have done an excellent job in this novelization. It isn't stale and rushed, but rather, goes through events while giving a fair amount of description. You even go as far as to add more events or modify others slightly for realism (example: Chrono not being fully armed in prison) I think what you have done with the story provides more insight into the characters and allows for more interaction between them then had previously been in the game. Well done.

For characters, presently I do believe they are all in character. Sometimes when something in the story happens that didnt happen in the game you end up explaining the characters reasoning for doing what they do anyways, and based on that they still behave believably.

My one critiscm I have to offer, though it may just be my opinion, is that you should try not to use author notes and the like in the middle of the story since it seems to disrupt the flow and the mood.

At any rate, I look forward to additional chapter when you have the time and energy to produce them. Take care!
5/12/2006 c41 9Kit Thespian
Gosh, you rock my world, Gibson18, however short this chapter was. And yes, what Crono said to Toma still nags my brain, but I can wait patiently for it. You write this so well! I keep trying to get my brothers to read it, but...well, I'll keep trying.

I felt so sorry for Melchior when he had that small spark of hope that Crono was from Zeal. He thought for a moment that he had met one of this own kind. Darn. See? This means you HAVE to let Magus meet Melchior. That oughta turn into an interesting meeting. It would be interesting for him to meet any one of the Prophets. Tee hee. But I hope Alwyn's all right. Maybe he DID just move, or something.

Now, I know, as the brilliant and creative author you are, that you are working diligently on the next chapters and they'll be extremely good. However, I do wish to remind you of a suggestion that I made several reviews earlier. If it is at all possible, try not to have the 65,0,0 B.C. people talk like generic "cavepeople". Try to let them have a more refined way of speaking. Okay?

See you next time!
4/10/2006 c40 Kit Thespian
Woo! Nice! I like Masa and Mune. They were kind of spooky. That would be freaky. You keep trying to do something and these two imps appear behind you (upside down, no less) saying, "What are you doing, silly man?" I felt a little sorry for Tata. And I mean it when I say this, I cried when I prayed for forgiveness. That was really good. And the flowers and the thicket were really great as well.

The explanation of Magus' three henchman was stellar. But Magus is NOT the devil! Sniffle... Anyway, I liked the little interlude between Crono and Marle. Glad to see that romance is coming along nicely. Lucca was great in this chapter. Her character's getting better (by better, I mean nicer; she was always well-developed). And I don't know what the party would do without Robo. Sheesh.
4/9/2006 c40 jbforever05
I for one am glad that you seem to be hooking up Crono and Marle. You have the best and most realistic retelling of the game on here and so I am glad that you are putting Crono and Marle together because that's something I don't think the game addressed well enough. I just hope that you don't rush their relationship too quickly. It should be a gradual build up which you are doing well and there should also be some big romantic scene between the two farther down the line before Crono dies. You are doing very well, and I look forward to more. To tell you the truth your story is the reason I come to this site.
4/9/2006 c40 MogGuy
Man, I was hoping it wouldn't turn into a Crono/Marle fic, because I hate Marle. I think she's annoying, hyper, ditzy and clingy. But, if that's the direction you're going in, I'll handle it. I did like Masa and Mune. I always wanted them to be more like companions than a sword. I mean, they were a sword, but thy also talked to the group, and gave advice and help when needed. Overall, it's a great chapter, and I liked the idea of the mountains being part of the trial.
4/9/2006 c39 Dormantly banjkazfan
I kind of skimmed this (I'm in a bit of a hurry), but I'm very pleased that you're still writing this!

I have since moved on from Chrono Trigger and begun Animaniacs fanfictions. If you would, please read them and tell me what you think.

~BKF
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