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for Chrono Trigger: The Sands of Time

3/22/2006 c39 Acidandstuff
Nice as usual. I like how you changed the story so that Frog kept the blade instead of the hilt.

I'm no writer but I have ideas. You got plenty time, but I think you should have Crono and Marle get closer before he bites it, otherwise I'm not seeing her really care to revive him as seen in-game. A first kiss perhaps during a lull in the action? The prehistoric dance party is a good choice, although might be too early. For laughs, I can see Marle getting drunk on poi and also kinda horny. She tries to drop a hint, but Crono's passed out from the soup contest. Or a Marle/Lucca moment. Lol. But seriously I think there should be a real tender moment somewhere. Of course, this story is your baby.
3/20/2006 c39 2Mission316
Excellent job on this chapter. It is one of your best. Seriously. I enjoy it when authors take breaks from the "heart-stopping action" sequences and show some real characters. Keep it up.

Oh, and I really don't mind what you do with Crono. But you sure know how to get a few of your fans riled up!
3/18/2006 c39 the-ear-that-isn't-there
Great as always, and as usual, i have nothing much of interest or value to say.

The idea of using archaic language for the Porrean people was a nice touch...though, i found it a bit difficult to beleive Tata and his friends could speak with such a vocabulary as they are (as you said) under 10...but hey, whats beleivable about people that shoot lightening out their hands.

Glenn really is quite a self deprecating person...or whatever he is. But its a nice take on him, everyone loves a tormented hero. Who exactly is going to break dear old Glenn out of his slump? Are you just going to have him spill his past once the rest of the gang mends the Masamune?...or is someone in particular going to reach out and help him? there are lots of opportunities in the latter, particularly relationship wise (I don't mean romantically only, but confession scenes are a good way to explore the depth of any type of relationship. Companionship, platonic friendship, or maybe, if you want to go in this direction, love.) Or are you going to do something else all together?

Was it just me, or are you trying to set Crono and Marle up. There certainly seems to be a lot of flirting going on. Maybe it is just me.

Like (i think) i've said before, you shouldn't kill Crono and keep him dead...forever. I think you should go for something in between. Kill Crono (as must be done) but don't have them resurect him immediatly. Let them stew in their misery for a while...greif is a very good eye opener and having a good section of your story devoid of Crono would give ur characters a chance to sort themselves out. You can waste time by doing the crappy little side missions that you have to do at the end of the game...you just wont have Crono there to help. Then, after they've all come to realise what they want and what they feel and all that jazz, bring him back and go on to kill Lavos. Its lots of fun making characters all melacholy like that...it helps you (as an author) and us (as readers) get under their skin and really understand what makes them tick.

But hey, thats just what i would do if i could write (btw, I've kinda given up hope on writing my own version of this game...so I'm relying on you. Thanks for your words of encouragement though, they were appreciated).

Your still doing great, keep it up. UPDATE!
3/13/2006 c39 9Kit Thespian
Oh, I want to hear the rest of the prophecy! Please write more soon. And you are mean keeping us in suspense about the secret. That was so irritating. But I feel very sorry for Frog, even if he IS bumming out on them. Keep writing.

Hm, yea or nay? I'd have to think about that one. You could always do the Reunion ending. When my brothers and I got Chrono Trigger on the Playstation, they left it up to me (bunch of wimps) to beat the game so they could play with New Game +. Anyway, I decided to do the ending without bringing back Crono, just to see what would happen. I used Marle, Lucca, and Magus, and beat it the first time. I could see some very interesting dramatic elements in not having Crono there, with the rest of the party still having a vendetta against Lavos for Crono's death. But, that's one idea. I could go either way, yea or nay.
3/13/2006 c39 sora hyrin
excellent chapter. and just so you know if you kill chrono and don't bring him back i will luminaire your @$$ into oblivion
3/13/2006 c39 Professional Freeloader
Oh, interesting. We're going down that path again are we? I'm tempted to vote against bringing him back, but I won't. Have Crono brought back.
3/12/2006 c39 3Nova Flame
Another good chapter, as always. I kind of wish the updates were a little more frequent, but then again, I have no room to talk. I can't wait for the action to really start up again; I'm looking forward to the fight with Magus.

As for all votings are concerned: Magus needs to stay alive and join the party, and Crono should be revived. Something about killing off canon characters just doesn't sit right with me.

Guess that's about it. Until the next chapter...adios for now!
3/4/2006 c12 Shadow801
I wanted to say that you have a very nice writing style for this story as far as I've read it. However, I noticed a couple very minor errors that are common among hearing people who are used to hearing the word said and associating it with a specific spelling. You used the word conscious when you should have used conscience. Conscious tends to mean the mind, the mind's activity. But conscience has more to do with morality, guilt, weight of actions upon others.

But nonetheless, I think this story so far is quite well done. I really enjoyed it for the most part. Every chapter except one up to chapter 12 have been a delight to read and I feel that you are doing an excellent job of providing a strong backstory and elaborating on the characters and expanding them. One chapter I felt was slightly forced was the chapter where Crono and Lucca were on the way to the cathedral. Other than that, very well done.
2/23/2006 c38 2Mission316
All right, so I was reading Chapter 37, all the time completely expressionless, and I read your author's note. My heart jumped into my throat for a second. As cool as that would be to make your story non-conformist (I'll say it again, that would be pretty cool), that might not be, well... wise. After all, this is 99% of the people just EXPECT Crono to survive and end up with Marle, and Lucca to end up with... well, I'm not going to say it; you can just go to a zillion other fanfics to get the juice.

Oh, and don't worry about slow updating. I think EVERYBODY about this time of year updates once a month. Well, I do. I enjoy your story, mostly because it's incredibly original.

And, I CAN wait until your next update. I'll be busy working on mine.
2/12/2006 c38 9Kit Thespian
This was a good chapter! Poor Glenn, seems like he's going to need some motivation to go after Magus. However, one thing nags my brain, what on earth did Crono tell Toma to get him to let them stay at the inn for the night? I have a sneaking suspicion, but still... Anyway, I feel a little sorry for the twerp Tata. He has no idea what he's getting himself into. Ten to one all of those great soldiers are going to get themselves killed the first five minutes into the Denadoro mountains.

I like the differences between the English in Porre and Guardia. The debate on who Glenn "belonged to" was really good. Glenn needs some Prosac.
2/3/2006 c37 jbforever05
I have followed your story from the beginning and been impressed not only with the quality and inventiveness of it but also the fact that you've been able to keep writing and updating. I started a retelling of the game of my own and got several chapters into it but due to lack of time and also lack of insight and comments from others it kind of died. You've kept this up at a remarkable pace.

There are two things that I think are important and that you should think about when you are continuing the story. First, I don't know where you're going to go with the relationships but from what I got out of the game Crono and Marle MUST be together. I always felt that there was some kind of spark between them whereas Lucca and Crono were more just good friends. This kind of leads to the second thing I wanted to say. One of the most shocking moments from the game was the scene at Zeal Palace. Crono and friends have just defeated the golem that Dalton sent them and rush to the aid of Schala. They encounter Queen Zeal, the Prophet is revealed to Crono and friends to be Magus, and Lavos is being brought forth. This scene is of great importance. When Crono dies this is a truly shocking event. He acts as only a true hero would. This causes devestation and grief. You can tell that Marle and the others have lost someone they care about. This death is something that if done right could really add something to your story. Of course then in the game they go through the death mountain ordeal and reawaken him. Here is where I think Marle's feelings for Crono really break out and he is returned to them. This is a truly touching scene. I guess all I'm really trying to say is that Crono and Marle belong together and I think killing Crono adds something to the story and that you must do it. However, I also think you should bring him back. The death mountain stuff is also important to the overall story. Wow this is long. Hope you read this all.
2/3/2006 c37 Acidandstuff
Ok... other than the propheCy spelling, but that does happen from time to time. Don't particularly like this news about Crono...
2/3/2006 c37 Dormantly banjkazfan
Yay! A new chapter!

"So early in the story"? HA! Heheh, I'm just fooling around.

PS: I think that your critique of my lightning pace has helped me a lot! People are reviewing my stories and LIKING THEM! (faints) So I just wanted to say, thanks for the kick in the butt!

Yakko: Did that come out right?

Anyhoo...THANK YOU!
2/3/2006 c37 Kit Thespian
I loved the chapter. The background information was very good. I always pictured Ozzie being cruel to Magus before the latter came into his powers.

As for the first author's note, I'll just have to look at your other stories, hmm? Though this note is very mysterious and I'm going to be itching until I see how it turns out, I'll wait. As for the second note, that's really good and it makes sense for your novelization. Poor Magus, how's he going to feel when he comes to his senses? As for the third author note, WOWEE! That would be a BIG change. If you do it, I won't kick and scream. You do what you want in that area. It might give the story an even better dramatic tone. However, it also, er, takes away the meaning of the title of the game, since it wouldn't be used and all.

Our comments write the story, hmm? That's usually how fan fiction works. It's one of the things that makes it so much fun.
2/2/2006 c37 Captain A
Two things here:

First of all, did you forget that unless Magus is killed by Crono and the others, Frog will not turn back into a human at the end of the story?

Second, I am going to be furious if you have Crono killed. Seriously. You should have Lavos kill the Crono Clone instead. This is the best Crono Trigger Novelization I have seen-in, fact it's one of the ONLY adaptations I have seen, so you shouldn't spoil my enjoyment of it by killing off the main character.
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