FanFiction.Net
Just In
Community
Forum
V
More
for First Kiss

1/29/2009 c1 Cloudancer
Oh, this is so well written! I readthe notes and You say you're writing in the present tense for the first time, but it honstly doesn't read like that. In fact, this one-shot has made me think about my own relationship with a guy in my class. I've known him for years, we talk about everything, I help him pick out clothes to wear on his cellphone if he's shopping alone, he tells me about how confused his ex-girlfriend made him by suddenlycoming at him, and i tell him that I would love to be kissed. Our friendship is stronger than any I've had with any other girl(and slightly scandalous in a country like India),and yet,both of us often pause, look at each other and wonder, "what now? whre am i going with this?", and your fanfic mimics the thoughts in my head. You've written with amazing empathy. Would love to read more of your stuff. Cheers.
6/18/2008 c1 33arysani
And now her last chapter in "Dryden's Story" is even worse.

Because this, which I really didn't understand when I read it awhile ago (can't remember when...), now I do, and...this makes it even sadder.

Good stuff, as per usual. Thanks for this little insight :)
9/5/2007 c1 Polydorus
Hello to you two again,

this one shot is another example of a great fanfiction. Similar to "Asturia: Love and Duty", I love your writing style and it's amazing how you can write such a believable, comprehensible train of thought for a fictional character and make it so interesting at the same time.

Well, I'll be reading the "D Files" next. It's not quite finished yet though, is it? Anyway, I'm going to savour what's there of it.

Thank you again for providing such great stories,

Martin
4/28/2005 c1 13Serena B
Catching up on some reading...

I loved this. Seriously, it almost made me cry just because I know how Indigo feels. Emotions can be very confusing sometimes and I think that came across very well in this story, especially because of the way it was told.
2/6/2005 c1 28Aerika S
Present tense can be a bear, can't it? You pulled it off though. This fic pretty much required it too, to reflect how Indigo was working through her feelings. Glad she didn't reach a definite conclusion about Dryden. That's a more accurate potrayal of how twisty and complicated emotions can get.
2/2/2005 c1 2jbunyard
I haven't read your previous stories yet, so can't really comment on how well this one ties in, but I want to say that I really like your writing style, and you do a nice job with the introspective aspect of it. The first person perspective was perfect...I don't think it would have worked any other way.
1/31/2005 c1 1mystic wolf
THANK YOU SO MUCH! I hadn't expected the spin off to come so soon, but thank you! That was a pleasant surprise. First person present tense is different, isn't it? There's no foreshadowing, or if there is, it's more subtle. I find it much easier to write in first person when writing in present tense than to do it in the third. There's just something very awkward about writing third present, but that's just me.

The one insight to humans that jumped out at me was the talking about inane subjects for hours on end, and still never knowing the person any better. Isn't it sad that most people will have experienced this at least once in their life?

I liked that you had Indigo screaming into her pillow. Somehow, it just suits her. I think it's the restraint that she exercises even when having a tantrum.

I also liked having the HERE translated completely. And the unspoken/unwritten "I miss you". Dryden will never know what Indigo thought; he simply felt that she was going to continue to let her art speak for her. But that's the beauty of reading, eh? We get to know what the characters do not, or cannot.

Plot bunny metaphor: an idea that's taken a life of it's own, sometimes becoming so unmanageable that it's like a bunny, multiplying at an insane rate.
1/30/2005 c1 1strangedream
Wow, that was really great. I'm glad we get to see a little bit more of Indigo as a goodbye. I love how you managed to incorporate my name, I was wondering what you would do with it. *does happy dance* The present tense, first person, really is quite different, isn't it? This story makes me slightly sad, but in a good way, because I love the way you've characterized Indigo, but of course we already know what happens to her. Now I'm left wondering what might have happened.

I've seen the term "plot bunny" defined somewhere, I think it can mean when something in someone else's story inspires you to come up with ideas you hadn't thought of before. But I too am curious how people are using it.
1/29/2005 c1 36Kenta Divina
HELLO! Nice you see you're still around - unlike so many of my favorite authors. This, if you say it is a first attempt - is very well done. I had to remember who Indigo was, but other than that, it was wonderfully crafted. I especially like how she finally resolved her message with only one word. Well done!

From my understanding, a plot bunny is a sudden story idea that takes off on its own. I found someone who uses that term all the time and had no idea what it was till now.

Twitter . Help . Sign Up . Cookies . Privacy . Terms of Service