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for The Brides of Dracula

9/1 c1 2k+Hawki
-“She was born a poor Baker’s daughter…”

Should be “baker’s,” unless Baker refers to the surname.

-“…or any fortune I might bring him.

You forgot the closing speech marks.

-“…sold teh Bakery…”

Should be “…sold the bakery…”

-“…and she how she ended.”

Should be “see.”

-“Hush.” he whispered softly.

Should be a comma after “Hush” rather than a full stop.

-“…in teh river…”

Should be “the.”

-“…fortune.” she replied curtly.

Should be a comma after “fortune.”

-“…and the Union was…”

Should be “union.”

-“…said.” He finally replied.

Same comma issue.

-“God’s Will…”

Should be “will.”

“…be his Bride.”

Should be “bride.”

-“HE was dressed…”

Should be “He.”

-“…at the shapr pain…”

Should be “sharp.”

-Overall, I’m mixed. The writing in of itself is okay, but the amount of punctuation and capitalization errors kept drawing me out of the piece. On the other hand, I can’t comment on how this fits in with the ‘Van Helsing,’ but it does keep in with the motifs of ‘Dracula’ (as in, the original novel). Certainly parallels can be drawn between Verona (wait, she’s in Italy, and she’s named after a city in Italy?) and Lucy Westerna for instance.

So, works in the sense of motif and tone, but could have really benefitted from further proofreading.
7/26/2013 c1 ragdoll
it was great, but where is chapter 2?
5/30/2009 c1 Goddess-Divine-05
that was really beautiful! i can't wait for chapter 2!
5/10/2008 c1 pheobep3
Please update
3/1/2007 c1 14Kairi's-twin
OMG THIS IS TOTALLY AWESOME! I love how Verona meets Dracula it seems so common place... that is a rather strange habit of hers though wading in the stream in her night gown. You HAVE to do Marishka and Aleera. I CAN'T wait to read the story of Marishka and Aleera. PLEASE PLEASE UPDATE SOON!

~Kairi's Twin~
10/1/2006 c1 7Mercy Ally 'Thairis
Good job, excellent chapter
5/28/2006 c1 5Chthonic Spock
That was a very good chapter.

You're very talented.

I can't wait for the next installment!
5/4/2006 c1 14LinnyLibrarian
wow! write more!
4/25/2006 c1 2Asorel
You review my story, I review yours, I think this is really good, and I would love to read more :)
11/19/2005 c1 79Lu82
I'm loving this FF, so original and well written. plus, I've always wanted to find out how Drac had met his three Brides ( they made such a happy family, aw), so thank you for showing me! ;)

I'm first of all BTVS addicted, but I love also other stories about vampires (esp. Dracula!) , and yours is just wonderful!

I added it to my fave ones!
11/2/2005 c1 meldanfan
i really liked your story.this was the first fan fiction story i ever read.
10/2/2005 c1 Violet Rocks
Wow! Bravo man, bravo. Very detialed and intimate, nicely done.

Contiue the amazing work. :)
9/12/2005 c1 092390342987
This is a really neat mini story. You gotta love Van Helsing stories.
9/1/2005 c1 purpleglitterfaery
it made me wish i was verona! you portray dracula perfectly. you haven't updated this one in awhile. please do so! and please do aleera next, cuz she rox!
8/29/2005 c1 13daffodils in spring
r u gonna continue this? i think u should.it is really good!
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