for A Child's Destiny1/7/2011 c2 f4llenstar
This story is actually more interesting then I thought I would be. I think you need to tweak the summary about it. Maybe something like, "He can sense that his parents aren't here." or 'Shannon has has lost his parents, but has everything else, including the chance to change the past.'
Shannon has the perfect life with perfect parents, but one day one incident changes it all. Yet can he find the hope for them before it is too late?
Just some suggestions , looking forward to the next chapter!
This story is actually more interesting then I thought I would be. I think you need to tweak the summary about it. Maybe something like, "He can sense that his parents aren't here." or 'Shannon has has lost his parents, but has everything else, including the chance to change the past.'
Shannon has the perfect life with perfect parents, but one day one incident changes it all. Yet can he find the hope for them before it is too late?
Just some suggestions , looking forward to the next chapter!
4/7/2005 c1 
1Sakura-jr17
it looks promsing
i see ya next chapter and just so you know.
It's a better start then mine.
1Sakura-jr17it looks promsing
i see ya next chapter and just so you know.
It's a better start then mine.
4/6/2005 c1 sunflower-power24
i believe this is to short. I like it but i think you should explain a little more. I am saying it to be mean or anything like that. I would gladly keep reading this story.
i believe this is to short. I like it but i think you should explain a little more. I am saying it to be mean or anything like that. I would gladly keep reading this story.
4/6/2005 c1 10Queen Sydon
Its a nice original piece of work. But I find it to be much too short and lacking description of the events that take place. I'm not saying it's bad, but try to take your time and bring your story to life, not just put it in words. Please don't take this as a flame. But remember, when it truly comes down to it, the only opinion that matters is your own.
10Queen SydonIts a nice original piece of work. But I find it to be much too short and lacking description of the events that take place. I'm not saying it's bad, but try to take your time and bring your story to life, not just put it in words. Please don't take this as a flame. But remember, when it truly comes down to it, the only opinion that matters is your own.