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for I'll Die If She Does

1/20/2008 c1 3Yakitori-Chan
I like the idea of the story but to my personal preference it was a bit dull. Update soon!
10/21/2007 c1 MELISSA
COME ON I WAS ABOUT TO PUSH THE NEXT CHAPTER THINGIE MA-BOBER BUT THERE WAS NO NEXT CHAPTER PLEASE CONTINUE THIS AND YOUR OTHER STORY.
7/31/2005 c1 pinoyscanrock
good..Please update soon!
7/7/2005 c1 1Christiana Anderson
I know its been a while but it would be so great if you could write more!
5/1/2005 c1 TheRandyOrtonProtectionSociety
You know, the summary kind of ruins the story. From the summary, I'm guessing that Caitlin and John will fall in love, only to find that she is dying. Much angsting will occur, and she will die. Possibly in his arms (that's usually the way).

This story is mostly well written, your take on Cena's language is excellent, but there are moments that just annoy the pants off me.

Example

“Well, people should have told you that, because it’s true…” he smiled as he opened his nuts don’t take that gesture the wrong way! Don’t change the meaning of, HE OPENED HIS NUTS, I meant it literally, as in the food…not the—never mind…

That comes across as an author's note. It has no place there. if it's an attempt at humour, it doesn't work.

another example

John was bored to death, and when that happens, it’s not good…

This implies that Caitlin is boring. Not sure that he'd fall for her was that the case.

Not bad though. Hopefully it won't go the traditionally dull wangsty way the summary implies.
4/27/2005 c1 1SugaBoo
This is a good start, but you might wanna proofread on Doc manager because a lot of your punctuation marks are not in sentences they're supposed to be in. It's not a flame or meant to be rude, ok? I'm just tryna help a little. And I'm not tryna say I'm a great writer either. I'm just making sure I said that so you don't think wrong of me. Well, update soon.
4/27/2005 c1 wweadik
NICE STORY... YOU REALLY HAVE TO UPDATE... AS IN U HAVE TO UPDATE REALLY REALLY FAST... I'LL BE WAITING!
4/27/2005 c1 4serendipity32k
good good good...
4/26/2005 c1 3lyltiaraprincess
o0o...i like this story so far. You have to update soon! Thanks for the reviews you gave to mine! They made me laugh. They were sweet. Anyways, going back to topic, update soon!
4/26/2005 c1 20Pinayprincesa
aw so cute!
4/26/2005 c1 3Latisha C
Great first chapter.
4/25/2005 c1 Hanbangee
"So I will not hide, it's time to try..." Oh my God! It's True! I love Launch Cast of Yahoo already! Aw, I miss Gabi! Anyways, it's like I've heard this story before! Oh yeah that's right! That one was also a CenaOC fic! Her parents also died, but in that story, that girl lived with the Cenas. Anyways, you said that my review should be long right? So here it is!
4/25/2005 c1 6xtremediva13
Wow I really like this story its very good. Hey update ASAP
4/25/2005 c1 10RKOxLegendKiller
it was an awesome chapter. John is just the sweetest little thing isnt he. well hes not little... the dudes 6'1" lol. Anyway the chappy was excellent and a great start to the story. i feel bad for Caitlin. anyway update soon... PLZPLZPLZPLZPLZPLZ MAKE A SEQUEL TO SWORN TO SECRECY! !

luv ya

Keira

RKOxLegendKiller
4/25/2005 c1 1Ctinaisfashion
yeah i liked the beginning so far. write more
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