4/23/2011 c1 IrishDancer
OK, this is NOT the old Bill Bixby show. What is it?

5/16/2005 c1 15Hobbeth
A nice start. I am intrigued. I hope to see the next chapter up soon.

But I think you need a betareader. I see some errors in punctuation. See if you can find one who can help.