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12/20/2020 c55 5Chocoberry4014
pretty sure antisipationally isn't a word...
11/15/2019 c108 Anonymous
This was an amazing adverture, I am glad I read all 108 chapters, I have not read a good book like this in a long time! A for in character with everyone and the character development! Thank you for finding the conviction to write so much of this well planned story! You could always write your own books to be published with your talent, have a good one!
11/15/2019 c1 1Psychohalcyon
...in continuation to my other review.

I was saying that I find myself scrolling past a lot of paragraphs more than I do actually reading. It was fine for the first ten or so chapters, but then the whole process with Robin becoming an immortal felt really dragged out, and then when we finally get to the point where it's about to happen, it's suddenly interrupted by 2 parter 28 and 29 that completely broke the whole flow for me.

it was like after things finally got real engaging and we were at the juicy bit, I was abruptly taken away from that scene and brought somewhere else. And I mean, it's not that I don't understand those chapters had their purpose, but it's just, as a reader, I hope that with your next story you take into consideration a better when to build suspense because while dragging it out is fine, dragging it out too much can cause boredom frustration and even disinterest. Reminds me of season two of Stranger things where the creators of the show suddenly thought it was a good idea to interrupt the flow of the story with episode 7 where 11 goes of on her own.

and again, I know that those chapters of Robin's unconscious state has it's purpose, but I just don't think it needed to he dragged out that long. And for a dream, it felt too real, which I guess was your purpose, but some details about like PI and TF hitting on her was just like?
As the saying goes, if you can cut something out without it having any effect on the story, then it probably like isn't necessary. Like, at first I was excited to see a story over 600k words, but now I feel like most of that is spent going to be spent dragging out to the juicy parts, and then even dragging that out as well.

I get fleshing out characters and all that but some things like that just drag the story along. And because the way you were clearly intent on us being confused wether it was a dream or not, I was forced to read through it (half angry because I thought you were doing a flash forward and I missed all the juicy nit after having to read all that)

only for it to turn out that those chapters were just a dream, and in that case, I would have rather happily skipped over them instead and get back into the main action.

I hate to sound like a prick, but I feel the criticism is warranted. with long fics like these, one of the most important part is making sure to keep readers engaged.
11/15/2019 c30 Psychohalcyon
There's a lot of things I want to say but I'm not really sure how to say it without sounding off. I want to say is that there are many aspects of this story that I enjoy, but also a lot that really takes away from that enjoyment.

And, this is just a personal opinion as a reader so you don't have to take anything I say into consideration., but I feel like too many sections of this story are unnecessarily dragged out. I find myself scrolling
11/15/2019 c1 Psychohalcyon
...in continuation to my other review.

I was saying that I find myself scrolling past a lot of paragraphs more than I do actually reading. It was fine for the first ten or so chapters, but then the whole process with Robin becoming an immortal felt really dragged out, and then when we finally get to the point where it's about to happen, it's suddenly interrupted by 2 parter 28 and 29 that completely broke the whole flow for me.

it was like after things finally got real engaging and we were at the juicy bit, I was abruptly taken away from that scene and brought somewhere else. And I mean, it's not that I don't understand those chapters had their purpose, but it's just, as a reader, I hope that with your next story you take into consideration a better when to build suspense because while dragging it out is fine, dragging it out too much can cause boredom frustration and even disinterest. Reminds me of season two of Stranger things where the creators of the show suddenly thought it was a good idea to interrupt the flow of the story with episode 7 where 11 goes of on her own.

and again, I know that those chapters of Robin's unconscious state has it's purpose, but I just don't think it needed to he dragged out that long. And for a dream, it felt too real, which I guess was your purpose, but some details about like PI and TF hitting on her was just like?
As the saying goes, if you can cut something out without it having any effect on the story, then it probably like isn't necessary. Like, at first I was excited to see a story over 600k words, but now I feel like most of that is spent going to be spent dragging out to the juicy parts, and then even dragging that out as well.

I get fleshing out characters and all that but some things like that just drag the story along. And because the way you were clearly intent on us being confused wether it was a dream or not, I was forced to read through it (half angry because I thought you were doing a flash forward and I missed all the juicy nit after having to read all that)

only for it to turn out that those chapters were just a dream, and in that case, I would have rather happily skipped over them instead and get back into the main action.

I hate to sound like a prick, but I feel the criticism is warranted. with long fics like these, one of the most important part is making sure to keep readers engaged.
11/15/2019 c30 Psychohalcyon
There's a lot of things I want to say but I'm not really sure how to say it without sounding off. I want to say is that there are many aspects of this story that I enjoy, but also a lot that really takes away from that enjoyment.

And, this is just a personal opinion as a reader so you don't have to take anything I say into consideration., but I feel like too many sections of this story are unnecessarily dragged out. I find myself scrolling
2/5/2019 c7 Jousuke
Oof I tried to read the fic, I really did. I thought I found a good story, but the writing wasn't for me. I mean, there are SO MANY typos and gramatically...jesus, so many MANY mistakes almost in every sentence.
I tried to close my eyes at first and endure it, but at chapter 20 I couldnt anymore. I am sorry. The story was very interesting so far tho! You need a beta reader, my dear!
However, you are now older and your English might be much better. I don't want to make you sad by this! I am just saying, if you want to share a proper story like this, you should check the mistakes at first. Maybe more ppl would enjoy the fic. Well anyway, thank you for sharing and writing this! I can see you went a long path to finish it. And you did, congratulations. :)
1/28/2018 c30 Itsc
At around chapter 28 I completely lost interest. It was smooth sailing before, then you suddenly had the writing become clunky, incoherent, "dream-like" nonsense...
7/6/2017 c108 DemonWarlocks
Alright, I've read thousands upon thousands of books/fanfictions, but this one. This one is the best one I've read. The story arch, character arch, and the ending just creates this beautiful picture. While a normal 20ish chapter Fanfiction takes me a hour or two to finish, this one took me 3 days. That's without sleep and food really wasn't seen often. The mysteries and surprise betrayals added to the twisted beauty and I can safely say that if I'm ever bored, I know what to read. Also, the ending with Slade coming out of the cryo tube was excellent and a extreme cliffhanger to me. Ps. Sadly I can't find the 'sequel', so I'll never be able to find out what happens (the link wasn't working, saying that it didn't existKuro Angel
11/27/2016 c2 8Robindanewsie
Wow, no wonder you give such great advice! This was epic!
11/27/2016 c1 Robindanewsie
Wow...so glad I checked this out. I'm excited to see where this goes. Drop some advice for me? I would for you but this is done...so I'm useless. Good job, I like it ANOTHER!
11/7/2016 c108 1iBombinate
This story is ineffable. It is pure perfection and nothing can be better than this. This is a book that can be published (if not a fanfiction).

I must say, you did a very good job at everything. It was nice to see how you developed your own style of writing and improved your grammar and English level. The plot line was the most interesting part. All the mental thoughts and the angst ... You provided us with twists and turns, as if you were the manipulative immortal Slade himself!

I enjoyed how you wrote Richard Grayson, turning him from a immature kid to a smart criminal. This is the best Apprentice fanfiction I ever found. Keep writing!

I hope you would continue this and make a sequel. :)
8/13/2014 c7 DarkRaven89
its just that good lol
8/13/2014 c6 DarkRaven89
never stop writting this dude
8/13/2014 c5 DarkRaven89
yes this is getting very interesting
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