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12/29/2020 c45 ChrisFan
9/12/2016 c36 Guest
The thing that really bugs me about the scene at the manor is that Piper asks why she "is only finding out about [the situation with Emily] now". She acts like she had a definitive right to know about it. I understand her being upset that he didn't confide in her, but I do not believe had to tell her. It was none of her business, let alone any one else's.
9/7/2016 c45 Guest
I really wish you hadn't added the ending scene. It is completely unnecessary. You could have had this story actually end in a way that would have been satisfying, but instead you chose to add a scene that could have been added to the sequel. This way this story would actually have a conclusion and if you didn't get around to writing the sequel, no harm would be done. Which really grates on me because you have let the sequel go unfinished. Also, the sequel starts up two years after this. I don't see how the Charmed Ones along with Chris and Wyatt would have left Carolina and Heather alone for two years. I also don't think Carolina and Heather would wait two years before making another move on the family. Maybe you would end up tying it in, but either way the scene was not needed in this story.
9/7/2016 c34 Guest
Just an FYI because this irritates me to no end. The contraction for "there will" is "there'll" not "they'll". Also, this takes place in America. American's don't say "mum". Also, it is "sisters-in-law" or "brothers-in-law", etc. It is not "sister-in-laws." I've seen it both correct and incorrect in this story.

Your writing is good, but when you make the same grammatical errors over and over again, it makes it extremely hard to ignore. And, as stated previously, the one that really gets to me is "they'll" because you've made that error countless times.

Also, I'm not completely sure why, but I don't always know how I feel about Emily. I don't dislike her, but I don't really like her either. She just grates on me for some reason. Part of it, I think, is because of Bianca. You gave Bianca a father that was not in the show; wealth that she didn't have in the show. A view on marriage and relationships that I don't think she would have, even with the changed future. It feels like you made Bianca incompatible with Chris just so that Emily could be with him. And it was never really explained why Chris was unsure of his relationship with Bianca. All we got in that regard is that he didn't know absolutely if she was the one for him or not. Again, it just feels like this was done so that you could put Chris with Emily. I personally like the idea of Chris being with Bianca in a changed future. I like to think that the Chris who went to the past gets to live the life he deserves with the person he was in love with. I will say that I have read other stories where the author paired Chris with an original character and it didn't seem to bother me the way Emily does. I do like that you didn't turn Bianca into a bitch, though. So many authors do.
10/27/2015 c45 3kalmaegi
'No, not my Chris.' Just goes to show how attached I am with our resident neurotic white lighter from the not-so-happy Future, eh? But mentions of him in passing blindsided me. Just like with Prue I guess. Her death and Piper's mental breakdown had been my introduction to the old series after Chris' death.

Chris, no matter what timeline, can't catch a break when it comes to time travel. Still, it always made me wonder about him and Bianca. Their match always made me uneasy, mostly because I'm a prejudiced piece of shit and I don't see the appeal. Feels more of a shout out to Luke Skywalker and his assassin wife. Not to mention the Other Chris and the Dark Future made it seem like Bianca and him were set in stone. 'Destined', to borrow her words. And no matter which incarnation, I felt Chris wouldn't settle for something like that. He sounds like the kind of guy who would rebel on principle. Choice is a big deal for him.

The awkward drama and the quick flush of the very needed airing out insecurities to the forefront was refreshing. Certainly took the 'Communication is key' seriously. I'm just kind of surprised they actually act like mature adults and talked things out. Soap Operas just don't get the same convenience due to the ever so tried and through plot device of miscommunication and misunderstanding.
10/27/2015 c34 kalmaegi
I'm pretty sure your other self's tendencies to vanquish Demons and infiltrate the Underworld hasn't been forgotten, Chris. You were quite persistent and desperate afterall. Not to mention the fact that you had the backings of the Charmed Ones at that time. More than likely, it's your other self's fault. Or Bianca's Daddy. Who knows.
8/31/2015 c16 6AJ Granger
I noticed in your review you responded about wanting to explore Chris and Bianca, and how knowing they were engaged in one lifetime might affect things now. I don't see that you've explored that here. You've made Bianca younger, given her a father we never heard about, and we know virturally nothing about her other than that she's a witch, beautiful, brilliant and comes from a wealthy family. When she has appeared she often makes a nasty remark, except around the Halliwells when she seems to fit in well. She also fits with Wyatt and Chris, and the brief romantic scene with she and Chris spoke volumes of their attraction to each other. But there's no view into Chris's head here regarding how he feels about meeting the love of his previous life, and settling down. He's OC from the Chris from canon, but is that difference enough to make him fall for someone else that he just happens to meet? Why? Why break it off with someone who makes you not even glance at or notice other women?
8/31/2015 c15 AJ Granger
What an idiot (Emily, that is). I actually liked Chris's quick thinking, and that he is likely realizing he cares for Emily.
8/31/2015 c13 AJ Granger
Since you obviously want him paired with your OC, and you had he and Bianca having a long term relationship, there's not any way he's not going to be a bit of an ass on this. Plus, he's going to break it off with someone who he has been extremely compatible with for an OC. Where's the filler relationship? It makes Emily a bad person, too, because she's pining for someone else's serious boyfriend. It's one thing if the relationship is new (ie a couple of dates in), but completely another when it's a couple of years. And Bianca in canon is more than just two to three years older than Chris. It's at least five to six.
8/31/2015 c6 AJ Granger
What's wrong with making the OC fall for the brother who is free?
7/12/2015 c10 1wanderlust.xo
I like the story so far, but I have to admit that I don't ship Wyatt or Chris with either OC's. Emily even less so than Chloe, so I'm kind of hoping that the title of the story means that Chris and Emily don't end up together. I'm possibly maybe a tad extremely biased though because I have always shipped Bianca and Chris.
7/6/2015 c1 1Spuffadiddles
I had been looking for this story for a few years now. I remembered reading it and absolutely loving it. Then as any good book nerd is, wanting to read it again, only to realize I never saved it and have sporadically been searching ever since, only to have found it now 3
1/29/2015 c45 3stephcullen2000
I love it so please upload the sequel soon xxx
1/17/2015 c15 pruehalliwell
Awesoooooome stoooory!:)
4/20/2013 c45 3Marauderette96
I loved this story so much! The characters were believable and the situations they were in made me love them even more. I can't wait to read the sequel!
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