for A Different Perspective7/1/2019 c1 Mark
A word about Rays Of Moonlight. The people of Crystal Tokyo have a long lifespan. Which is not the same as being immortal.
A word about Rays Of Moonlight. The people of Crystal Tokyo have a long lifespan. Which is not the same as being immortal.
4/7/2006 c1 EthrealChains not logged in
O.K, this story is cool - I don't see enough OC's in the Poke-verse - but I do have some critty-crit-crits.
One. In the World of Pokemon, there are no such things as cats, dogs, wolves, excetera. Instead, you can use Eevee, Growlith, Raikou, Suicene, Enti, Mightyena, Poochyena, whatever. But not wolf.
Don't just go with 'Then, out of nowhere, a Pokemon's attack...' Try adding more description, such as `The girl wandered absently through *Town/City's name* forest, stopping here and there to sniff a flower or watch a Zigzagoon run across her path.
Suddenly, an intense pain overtook her being as she was thrown to the ground. A Pokemon's triumphant cry announced the name of her attacker; "Crawdaunt! Crawdaunt!"
See? I think it's better if you gradualy work up to the 'SUDDENLY' aspect of it all.
I would also say, DON'T make her Pokemon superpowerful. I see this alot. Almost every trainer has megastrong Pokemon, and a legandary, to boot. If the Crawdaunt' are so strong that she was wounded badly, then Espeon isn't gonna beat them one hit, is [s]he? Try writing a longer battle sequence, elst people will scream; 'Mary-Sue!'
And, one last thing... BOO!
O.K, this story is cool - I don't see enough OC's in the Poke-verse - but I do have some critty-crit-crits.
One. In the World of Pokemon, there are no such things as cats, dogs, wolves, excetera. Instead, you can use Eevee, Growlith, Raikou, Suicene, Enti, Mightyena, Poochyena, whatever. But not wolf.
Don't just go with 'Then, out of nowhere, a Pokemon's attack...' Try adding more description, such as `The girl wandered absently through *Town/City's name* forest, stopping here and there to sniff a flower or watch a Zigzagoon run across her path.
Suddenly, an intense pain overtook her being as she was thrown to the ground. A Pokemon's triumphant cry announced the name of her attacker; "Crawdaunt! Crawdaunt!"
See? I think it's better if you gradualy work up to the 'SUDDENLY' aspect of it all.
I would also say, DON'T make her Pokemon superpowerful. I see this alot. Almost every trainer has megastrong Pokemon, and a legandary, to boot. If the Crawdaunt' are so strong that she was wounded badly, then Espeon isn't gonna beat them one hit, is [s]he? Try writing a longer battle sequence, elst people will scream; 'Mary-Sue!'
And, one last thing... BOO!
7/11/2005 c1 
2Sakuno629
Hey, Hoshiko. It's me, Sakuno629. I was wondering when are you going to update more of my story since I am already on chapter 4.
2Sakuno629Hey, Hoshiko. It's me, Sakuno629. I was wondering when are you going to update more of my story since I am already on chapter 4.
6/16/2005 c1 1Kira girl of anime
hey hoshi cool story andtell rini i want to be in the story with you
1Kira girl of animehey hoshi cool story andtell rini i want to be in the story with you
5/12/2005 c1 2White Tiger725
I love it! I'm a major pokemon fan!
UPDATE SOON! Id like to give you a character for your story if its ok with you. If so just email me and ill give you the info. but otherwise I look forward to seeing your next chapter! ^_^
2White Tiger725I love it! I'm a major pokemon fan!
UPDATE SOON! Id like to give you a character for your story if its ok with you. If so just email me and ill give you the info. but otherwise I look forward to seeing your next chapter! ^_^