for The Return6/30/2005 c2 submergedmemory
This is getting interesting. =) Oh yeah... are you going to put in any couplings... like say, oh, I don't know, Riesz/Hawk? [hint hint]
This is getting interesting. =) Oh yeah... are you going to put in any couplings... like say, oh, I don't know, Riesz/Hawk? [hint hint]
6/15/2005 c2 
5Zid
What's up? Haven't check on FanFiction for more than a while now. Good villians, but make them a little more revealing on their selves. It gets on my nerves if you don't know who the villians are. This is pretty much I'm going to write for again a while so I might as well get this out.
Chapter 8 and 9 WILL come out on mine. Just wait...
5ZidWhat's up? Haven't check on FanFiction for more than a while now. Good villians, but make them a little more revealing on their selves. It gets on my nerves if you don't know who the villians are. This is pretty much I'm going to write for again a while so I might as well get this out.
Chapter 8 and 9 WILL come out on mine. Just wait...
5/29/2005 c2 2Mirowood
A good second chapter. The characterization is impressive, especially on Lise and Hawk's end but if elliot is 15 how old would that make Lise? ( Just wondering because I've forgotten how old Elliot was in the game?) So, it's not just one villain anymore. What are they, a secret society of something like that? Either way I like their presence it adds a nice foreboding element. I know you've using the chosen characters: Lise, Hawk and Carlie but what about the other characters making cameos? This has got potential. Keep it up.
2MirowoodA good second chapter. The characterization is impressive, especially on Lise and Hawk's end but if elliot is 15 how old would that make Lise? ( Just wondering because I've forgotten how old Elliot was in the game?) So, it's not just one villain anymore. What are they, a secret society of something like that? Either way I like their presence it adds a nice foreboding element. I know you've using the chosen characters: Lise, Hawk and Carlie but what about the other characters making cameos? This has got potential. Keep it up.
5/28/2005 c2 28TenshiNoAkuma
The way you've written this makes me think about the relative calm before a storm. Everything is mostly peaceful, giving time for the characters to grasp at emotions, yet there are hints that the storm is coming. And it might just come before they're prepared. Your writing's good. Keep it up! *thumbs up*
28TenshiNoAkumaThe way you've written this makes me think about the relative calm before a storm. Everything is mostly peaceful, giving time for the characters to grasp at emotions, yet there are hints that the storm is coming. And it might just come before they're prepared. Your writing's good. Keep it up! *thumbs up*
5/17/2005 c1 2Mirowood
This is a great start, the idea for this new villain intrigues me. For right now he seems sort of Jagan-ish though I hope he ends up much cooler than that guy was. I'm enjoying the touches of introspective angst. You're dialogue easily beats mine so if you for some odd reason think that you have bad dialogue read my fic and be relieved. I hope that you find some way to get the other characters involved in this new scenario. Don't worry about how long it takes you to write a fic just as long as you get it done. (Is there way that you can read my fic?)
2MirowoodThis is a great start, the idea for this new villain intrigues me. For right now he seems sort of Jagan-ish though I hope he ends up much cooler than that guy was. I'm enjoying the touches of introspective angst. You're dialogue easily beats mine so if you for some odd reason think that you have bad dialogue read my fic and be relieved. I hope that you find some way to get the other characters involved in this new scenario. Don't worry about how long it takes you to write a fic just as long as you get it done. (Is there way that you can read my fic?)
5/16/2005 c1 8Kurai-Jaugen-Doragon
OH, I like! Excellent! Who is this myserious man? Great way to end it (cliffhanger...*shakes fist*). Brilliant write :) I can't wait for the next chapter!
-Kurai
8Kurai-Jaugen-DoragonOH, I like! Excellent! Who is this myserious man? Great way to end it (cliffhanger...*shakes fist*). Brilliant write :) I can't wait for the next chapter!
-Kurai
5/16/2005 c1 3Phoenix Lord
Looks like I'm not the only one writing fanfics for old games. And your not the only one creating something new out of something that already exists. You just boosted my low-self esteem, thanks.
3Phoenix LordLooks like I'm not the only one writing fanfics for old games. And your not the only one creating something new out of something that already exists. You just boosted my low-self esteem, thanks.
5/13/2005 c1 sadness
make another chapter. it was good
make another chapter. it was good
5/13/2005 c1 zid
i cant get a signed review (you try it yourself). oh well, as the first reviewer, it's a good beginning. i cant think of an error here so youre free. by the way whos the other two characters you got?
could you read mine BADLY? its "A thief's story" and its somewhere in the secret of mana page. just scroll down, click, read, and review.
i cant get a signed review (you try it yourself). oh well, as the first reviewer, it's a good beginning. i cant think of an error here so youre free. by the way whos the other two characters you got?
could you read mine BADLY? its "A thief's story" and its somewhere in the secret of mana page. just scroll down, click, read, and review.