for Pirate Switch7/24/2018 c1 Guest
Why is there not a Crack tag for fanfics?
Why is there not a Crack tag for fanfics?
3/9/2013 c1 
126Book girl fan
You can definitely have too much dialogue. Seriously, do you and your friends actually act like that? I think there is far too much screaming in this story, and I'm only on the first page. Think through your story before writing it. Is this necessary for the plot? Does this help to develop the characters? Is it well written, interesting, and integral to the story line? If it is none of those things, you may want to do some more work on it.
I hope you don't think this is a flame, because I'm really not trying to flame you. I would just like you to consider your story again. I am by no means a perfect writer, but I think this can be better.
126Book girl fanYou can definitely have too much dialogue. Seriously, do you and your friends actually act like that? I think there is far too much screaming in this story, and I'm only on the first page. Think through your story before writing it. Is this necessary for the plot? Does this help to develop the characters? Is it well written, interesting, and integral to the story line? If it is none of those things, you may want to do some more work on it.
I hope you don't think this is a flame, because I'm really not trying to flame you. I would just like you to consider your story again. I am by no means a perfect writer, but I think this can be better.
6/24/2008 c8 The Pirate babe
wow this is really funny interesting luv it
wow this is really funny interesting luv it
1/3/2008 c31 1ZombiesForNarnia
i don't juss love it...i luv it! (i kno that had to b the queerest thing ever) but i loved it so much! I can't wait for the sequel!
1ZombiesForNarniai don't juss love it...i luv it! (i kno that had to b the queerest thing ever) but i loved it so much! I can't wait for the sequel!
1/2/2008 c31 p052507
Wow...I've been reading this since the beginning, you know.
I'm sad to see it end. ;_;
So hurry up and post that sequel, savvy?
~Lexi
Wow...I've been reading this since the beginning, you know.
I'm sad to see it end. ;_;
So hurry up and post that sequel, savvy?
~Lexi
12/31/2007 c31 4R Lucky Crayon
OMG! HI! HAPPY NEW YEAR'S EVE! lol
Okay, that was a nice losing chapter, not the best that i've have read, ut still a good way to close and wrap up a story, and bring everything to a full circle.
you know, now i'm going to bug you about posting a sequel, so be perpared.
oh and i need to tell you about the awesome dream that i had, and you were in. So was me, Mr. cooper and guneet and charli.
So, somehow kids were rioting to have Mr Cooper fired and they had picket signes and stuff and were yelling at him. I think it was cause everyone fail the AP test. So kids were yelling stuff cause Charli was like "Mr Cooper! I HATE YOU! I wish you got fired!" And then she was like, so pissed that she want to through the band instruments at him and guneet was like, no save the poor intsrument! and you were like "THROW THE MUSIC STANDS!" in an awesome metal voice, so everyone got music stands and started chucking them at Mr Cooper, then the principal came up and was like, YOu fired and left and it was so amazing, then i woke up and was like, damn it was all a dream!
Yeah...I can't wait for the sequel!
See ya in the new year!
-Uma
4R Lucky CrayonOMG! HI! HAPPY NEW YEAR'S EVE! lol
Okay, that was a nice losing chapter, not the best that i've have read, ut still a good way to close and wrap up a story, and bring everything to a full circle.
you know, now i'm going to bug you about posting a sequel, so be perpared.
oh and i need to tell you about the awesome dream that i had, and you were in. So was me, Mr. cooper and guneet and charli.
So, somehow kids were rioting to have Mr Cooper fired and they had picket signes and stuff and were yelling at him. I think it was cause everyone fail the AP test. So kids were yelling stuff cause Charli was like "Mr Cooper! I HATE YOU! I wish you got fired!" And then she was like, so pissed that she want to through the band instruments at him and guneet was like, no save the poor intsrument! and you were like "THROW THE MUSIC STANDS!" in an awesome metal voice, so everyone got music stands and started chucking them at Mr Cooper, then the principal came up and was like, YOu fired and left and it was so amazing, then i woke up and was like, damn it was all a dream!
Yeah...I can't wait for the sequel!
See ya in the new year!
-Uma
11/9/2007 c30 1ZombiesForNarnia
AH! I love this whole story so much! It made me laugh like a bagillion times!
1ZombiesForNarniaAH! I love this whole story so much! It made me laugh like a bagillion times!
9/28/2007 c30 Monnie
btw did jack go through the time portal too? cuz it seems like it,
oh heck ill just find out in the next chapter or book or whatever
btw did jack go through the time portal too? cuz it seems like it,
oh heck ill just find out in the next chapter or book or whatever
9/28/2007 c30 MOnnie
im ready for the next one! im excited
im ready for the next one! im excited
9/28/2007 c29 monnie
this one was on the if-ee side. im not a big fan of the lord of the rings so yeah. they are good movies but im just not that big of a fan so i kinda scanned the summarizing part of them.
this one was on the if-ee side. im not a big fan of the lord of the rings so yeah. they are good movies but im just not that big of a fan so i kinda scanned the summarizing part of them.
9/28/2007 c28 Monnie
im not gonna lie that was a pretty cool chapter. i got to kiss will and jack oh baby...
its so weird reading these because steffie no longer hangs with us nor likes me as much. i just get a hi really and thats all. and alyson and i are still friends its just different this year. shes a little quiter.
im not gonna lie that was a pretty cool chapter. i got to kiss will and jack oh baby...
its so weird reading these because steffie no longer hangs with us nor likes me as much. i just get a hi really and thats all. and alyson and i are still friends its just different this year. shes a little quiter.
9/4/2007 c30 p052507
Omg! XD *cue makeout scene*
Steffie: *walks in on them, doesn't make a noise, giggles silently*...*she walks out of the room and goes to the kitchen to tell her the others*
Then everyone goes in the previous room.
Leah: (loudly) WTF..?
xD 'Kay...Update soon!
Omg! XD *cue makeout scene*
Steffie: *walks in on them, doesn't make a noise, giggles silently*...*she walks out of the room and goes to the kitchen to tell her the others*
Then everyone goes in the previous room.
Leah: (loudly) WTF..?
xD 'Kay...Update soon!