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for Yu Gi Oh: Team World: The End of Day One

5/8/2007 c6 32Rock Raider
:)=) Kim & Ron have DONE IT! WOO! Also, I wonder if this means Kim is gonna be a teenage mother. Would certainly throw a wrench in Team Possible, & maybe even threaten her relationship with Ron. Also, I believe that quote from Earlier was Peter Griffin, Family Guy, Season 4, Episode 3 (the 3rd episode of that season), Blind Ambition. Also, I bet like in the Simpsons episode "The Sweetest Apu", Team Yugi will find out what Mokuba did while reading his twitching eye. After all, Mokuba backed away from them like Homer did Apu & Squishy Girl in that same episode.
4/5/2006 c6 7Darrinx
Ho, Ho, Ho, Naughty Kim Naughty Ron.

This was a great chapter and I liked the suspenseful ending, but try and mix your words if your going to write a lovemaking scene. Try softer words for love making instead of words like "oh Kim! God! You’re like a Pro at this!" which make it sound more like a act of Lust instead of Love. (I'm a hopeless Romantic)

Great chapter and I cant wait to read the next one.
4/5/2006 c5 Darrinx
WAAHO WHAT A DUEL I’m starting to see a pattern here. That Pattern is that the god cards save Team Yugi’s arses almost ALL the time.

That was a great duel and really intense nice job.
4/5/2006 c3 Darrinx
So far this is a bad arse duel, But Chimera the Flying Mythical Beasts ATK points are only 2100 not 2800 just pointing that out.

Nice one and i cant wait to see whats next
4/5/2006 c2 Darrinx
Man this duel is gonna rock. Kaiba is the true Welder of the Blue-Eyes. Fate, the past, and now this duel will prove that.
1/6/2006 c1 Nexus of dark world
This is totally original buddy!

Keep it up
12/26/2005 c5 dr-fanmai-lover
bervobervobervo you-made-mistke wahan wahan-team-yugi-waer-face-aigain you-eaverbody-waes-cofused-by-the rebaerth-of maisithic-daragion-aill-but&mai&mako

only-thing-is mako-naever-face yug&joy&kaiba&maokua&mai

mako -naver-eaver-faced-maityhicdaeragion

aack you-naver-saw-landairyheros-aerc-befor
8/17/2005 c5 dr fanmai-lover
bervobervberovo you,ve a oops the maytcdergion was the vr-vido-game remmer mai callged the big-five/matycdegion

so how did peickl gait the matyicdergion
8/2/2005 c6 Mr. X
OK, two things:

1. For your first sex scene, it worked GREAT! But that doesn't mean to make a lot, except for special endings, such as this.

2. You should put the Kingdom Hearts characters in. It'd be so easy! Sora and co could come riding round the universe until they reach Team World, and thats when the chaos assues.
7/31/2005 c6 12Alter Shead
Man, do yoy want to kill me of curiosity? When does the next story starts? I'M WAITING...
7/31/2005 c5 24Jezrianna2.0
Well, what can I say. The dialog is excellent overall. Unfortunately that's all there is. I find script format stories difficult to read, because all you have to go on is what the characters are saying. There's no background about Yu-gi-oh (about which I no absolutely nothing) no descriptions of the characters, no insight into their thoughts, emotions or motivations. I did note a few hints about tone of voice, but that was about it. In short, this reads like a play, not a story. Perhaps you could experiment a bit with putting the story in a more traditional format?
7/23/2005 c6 Morganarder
Man, i'm telling, i hope you hurry up doing the next serie, cause i want to see if Mokuba tells everyone what he saw that night, and when kim and ron know that mokuba saw them, well, it's crazy enough to work.
7/22/2005 c6 ZeNfindr
o what happend too kiba sounds suspenseful
7/20/2005 c6 5Hurricane's Quill
Holy- geez, dude, in the name of sea and storms! First that Fire Emblem fic, now this... anyway, that thing with Kaiba sounds interesting, I'll be watching you for more.
7/20/2005 c6 Nightbringer
O_O Wow...FREE WRITTEN HENTAI! :P Got any pics to go with. lol I'm joking.

Good chapter. I hate to sound mardy, but when are you going to reply to our reviews?
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